A/N: Can't sleep again! Argh! Someone must pay! Hey look! There's Reno! Originally published 12/04/08. Revised 2/18/09.

Fandom: Final Fantasy 7

Summary: Reno's completely straight. Why doesn't anyone believe him? Cloud doesn't care one way or the other.

Pairings: Reno/Cloud

Warnings: Yaoi, SEX, NON-CON, Cursing, Exasperated Reno, Stalking Crazy! Cloud, MPREG

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction.

Difficulties In Communication

XXX

"Reno. Do you know why you've been asked in today?"

Reno shrugged nonchalantly from his slouching position in his favorite chair."Actually, Boss man. Got no idea this time, yo."

Tseng failed to answer for about ten full minutes, choosing instead to peruse the surveillance photos and reports that went along with them. "It seems that Cloud Strife has been tailing you."

Reno snorted in derision. "Ya mean stalkin', Boss. The term's stalkin'. Yeah, ever since Rude and Me helped out him and Lockheart, the nut's been following me around 24/7. It's getting to be a real drag, 'specially on date night, yo."

Tseng paused, in his research, to stare at Reno with a raised eyebrow.

In return, Reno rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Yes! This Turk actually gets dates with women! Why don' anybody believe me, yo?"

Tseng's gaze redirected itself to the paperwork before him. "Perhaps you should ask your partner that question, he seems to understand you the best. Gods knows, I surely don't. As for Strife, with him tailing you, it has been easier to keep an eye on him. For once, your inaction has actually contributed to New Shinra's well-being. I shall allow the tailings to continue. If at all possible, influence his actions towards you. It may benefit us all, in the long run."

Reno jerked forward at this unwelcome news. "The fuck!?! Tseng! I ain't gay! Strife's crazy nuts! When I go to a restaurant with a date, he gets a table right next to us. The loon just stares at me through the whole meal with that creepy thing he calls a smile on his face! Don' want it no more, Tseng! Call the wolf off, yo!"

"Reno!"

Reno sat up straight at Tseng's official tone.

"This is a direct order from Rufus Shinra. I need not remind you the penalty for not following orders again. Do I?"

Reno slouched in the chair and sulked in dismay. "No, sir. Just know that this got fuck all to do with Planet safety and everythin' to do with Rufus fuckin' with this Turk again."

Tseng didn't smile. He wanted to smile. He wanted to point at Reno and laugh in his face. But he was Head of the Turks, so he nodded his head in Reno's direction, and gave him the sign he was dismissed.

Tseng waited until Reno was way down the hall, before he called Rufus up, so they could laugh together.

XXX

Rude glanced up from his paperwork as Reno slouched in and slumped into his desk chair. "What's wrong, Partner?"

Reno flicked his hand in dismissal. "Ehh. Tseng's found out about Strife's stalkin'. 'Stead of helping me, he tells me to suck up to the psycho, even though he knows I'm totally straight, yo."

Rude's eyebrows raised, with an incredulous look, behind his sunglasses.

Reno looked over and swore. "Ah fuck! Not you too! What the hell! I'm straight! I date women only. Why don' anybody believe me, yo?"

Rude shrugged and went back to his paperwork. "I dunno, Partner. Maybe 'cause you flirt with anything that walks?"

Reno smirked and twirled in his chair. "Fuck, Rude. That don' mean nothing. Just bein' friendly. Always been friendly, yo."

Rude leaned back in his chair and looked his twirling partner up-and-down. "It's the hips."

"Huh?"

Rude held one large hand up and did a sexy, swaying motion with it. "When you walk, Partner, you sway your hips better than a woman. I know it's just so you stay loose and it helps your lower reflexes. To everyone else, though, it seems like you're asking to get fucked."

Reno stopped twirling and actually attempted to concentrate. It was hard going, but he was able to do it sometimes.

Reno's eyes widened and his mouth formed a big O in realization. "Ooohhh! I get it now!"

Reno sniggered, with a wicked look in his ocean-blue eyes, as he thought of all the times he sauntered past Cloud's blank eyesight. "Guess I've been leadin' the wolf on. Haven' I. Don' matter. Fucker shouldn' assume he can just get what he wants. 'Specially from this straight Turk!"

Rude shrugged. "Don't know, Partner. He's the Planet's hero twice over. Everybody, from Edge and beyond, gives him whatever he wants. They're just lucky he's too crazy to want anything."

Reno rested his hands and his forehead against his stack of paperwork on his desk. "Yeah. 'Cept for me."

Rude frowned and stared at his partner's saddened head. "Yeah, Partner. Once again, you got all cherries."

Reno deeply sighed and held up both thumbs in an double Okay sign or else he was trying to hitchhike his way out of his own life. He wasn't sure himself, at the moment.

XXX

Reno had been told to keep Strife going, with his obsession with him, but Reno wasn't having it. His life was way too short, and there were way too many women for him to screw, to have Cloud stalking him the rest of his life.

It wasn't so much the stalking. Reno was used to being stared at, just because he was Reno.

It was the way his dates would gush over Cloud once they realized he was there. For a lone wolf, Strife was too famous for his own good.

Reno would roll his eyes as his date would gush over the "gorgeous hero" sitting beside/behind/above-to-the-right-or-the-left of them. He wanted so badly to inform them that Cloud wasn't marveling over their beauty. Strife was ga-ga over him.

Whatever.

Reno would ignore the chatter, take his date to the nearest hotel, and fuck her anyway. For some reason, he was feeling emptier and emptier each time he did it.

Reno, as always, decided to take the wolf by the snout, and end Cloud's little fantasy once and for all.

As usual, when Reno took matters in his own hands, it blew up tremendously in his flabbergasted face.

With his mind made up, after his shift was over, Reno strode out of the New Shinra building and made his way to Seventh Heaven.

Cloud still kept a permanent room there, even though he still camped out at Aerith's church.

Reno figured, if Cloud was tailing him, he'd make it convenient for the both of them.

Once he got there, he waved to a concerned looking Tifa, walked past her, and made his way to Cloud's bedroom. He flopped down on the hardly used bed and waited for the psycho to arrive. He didn't have to wait long.

Reno heard Cloud tromp into the bar under a minute later. Damn! Wasn't the guy a delivery boy now? Who delivered the packages, if Cloud spent all his time checking out Reno's?

Reno counted Cloud's heavy steps across the bar, past a now confused Tifa, to his bedroom up the stairs. Huh.

Cloud didn't even pause to wave hello to his "girlfriend."

Tifa must be used to it by now.

Reno knew he shouldn't smirk, but he did. He was still smirking when Cloud walked slowly in, set First Tsurugi down, then closed, and locked the door.

With the sound of the lock being turned, Reno's smirk rapidly changed to a frown.

XXX

"No need to be lockin' nothing, Strife. This Turk ain't stayin' long, yo."

Cloud crossed one black boot across his ankle and relaxed against the wall, folding his muscled arms across his chest.

Reno noticed that he was blocking the only way out. He caught himself, before he started snarling in defiance. Wouldn't be the first time he jumped out a window. Won't be the last.

Strife didn't need to know that, though.

Cloud stared at Reno with the blank, emotionless look that he always hated. Wasn't right that something that pretty shouldn't have some motion to it. It went against all that was good.

Reno, internally, shook his head. Straight. He was straight. Say what he had to say. Make sure it got through the crazy. Then leave. Easy, right? "Want ya to back off, Strife. This Turk ain' interested. Never have been. Never will be, yo."

Cloud's stance nor expression changed one iota. He didn't even blink. "Doesn't matter."

Reno reared up. This time he did snarl. "Fuckin' matters to me! I ain' gay! Don' care if you are! Stop with the stalkin' and go back to sulkin' in your flowers, so this Turk can date in peace, yo!"

Cloud actually blinked this time. He blinked and then he cracked his neck.

Reno jumped slightly back on the bed.

The last time Cloud had done that, in front of Reno, he had almost beaten him to death for dropping the Plate on Sector 7. Even with the Mako injections and Mastered Cure Materia, it had taken him forever to heal. He still lost feeling in his left arm sometimes.

"Dating? Seems more like fucking, then running away."

Reno squinted. He shouldn't say it. He shouldn't say it. Fuck it. He'll say it. "Yeah, you'd be the expert on that wouldn't ya, Psycho."

Before Reno could blink, Cloud was hovering over him, with the tip of his nose barely brushing Reno's. "You want me to hurt you, Reno? Because I will. You're not a girl. You got healing injections like all the rest of the Turks. I know how far I can go before you actually break. I think you do want me to hurt you."

Reno gulped and rapidly shook his head no. With his thoughts purely on self-preservation, he slowly raised his hands up and began to gently pat Cloud's cheeks to calm him down. "No, Cloud. Don' want no hurt. Just need ya to back off. Don' like ya that way. Sorry, but it's true. Just like girls. Can' help it. Just the way it is. Sorry, yo."

Cloud's eyes were shining so brightly, that if it wasn't daytime, they'd be glowing in the dark. His eyelids slowly moved up and down, like a cat, with Reno's patting of his face.

Reno was sure he was going to start purring in a minute. From what happened next, he wished that Cloud had.

"Yeah, Reno. I'm sorry, too."

Reno's eyebrows furrowed in the middle, before his eyes widened in shock, as Cloud took one handful of his white shirt and ripped it clean down the middle, tearing his undershirt, in the bargain.

The same fate happened to Reno's pants.

Before Reno could even react or voice an objection, Cloud had grabbed the top of his pants, near the fly, and ripped them clean off, along with his underwear.

Reno, essentially, was wearing just the tattered remains of his shirt, his suit jacket, his socks, and his boots. Other than that, he was naked.

Reno's fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. Having fought Cloud twice before, and almost dying in the process both times, He quickly decided flight was best.

Unfortunately, Cloud wouldn't let Reno fly. In fact, he laid his enhanced body over Reno's so he couldn't move at all, except to wiggle.

Reno opened his mouth to scream for help, before Cloud's black gloved hand firmly covered it. His eyes darted down as he heard Cloud's rapid, deep breathing and a zipper going down.

Reno struggled more as Cloud removed his other glove with his teeth and then jammed three fingers in Reno's mouth. He bit down on them, while still wetting them with his saliva.

Cloud didn't seem to feel it a bit. He was still in his own little world. "We'll get married right after this. I swear. I just need to do this, Reno. I'm sorry. You just push my buttons, even though you know that you'll get hurt. You have to stop that, Reno. One day, I'll hurt you real bad, by accident. Love you too much, Reno. Don't make me hurt you like I did before."

Reno shook his head harshly, attempting to dislodge Cloud's fingers. He didn't want to get married to Cloud. He didn't want to get hurt by Cloud and he, sure as hell, didn't want his love.

Out. Reno wanted out and away from Cloud forever.

When Cloud finally removed his fingers, Reno began to scream bloody murder. "Get off! Get the fuck off! I ain' gay! I don' love you! Don' wanna marry you! Get off!"

Reno wondered why no one was coming to help him. He knew he was screaming loud enough for the whole street to hear.

Cloud answered his question for him. "Sent Tifa shopping. She won't be back for at least two hours. Kids are with Barrett this week."

Reno flinched as he felt one finger jammed into his unwilling sphincter. His hands clawed at Cloud's face.

Cloud grabbed his wrists into one hand and forced them over Reno's head. "Fuck, Reno! Do you want me to shatter your elbow again?"

Reno instantly halted his fighting. Pain. Oh man, the pain.

Cloud had smiled like a demon when he had broke it last time. He actually got Reno to cry back then.

Reno slowly shook his head. 'No hurt, Cloud. Please don' hurt. Keep sayin' ya love me. Don' hurt me, yo."

Cloud drug his arm underneath Reno's shoulders to bring his upper body close as his finger searched for Reno's prostate. He knew he found it when Reno shrieked and unconsciously struggled from the feeling. "Cloud! Don'! Come on! Ain' too late! Let me go! We can still be friends. Swear!"

Cloud slightly shook his head and kissed the side of Reno's forehead. A second finger joined the first with prodding Reno's prostate.

Reno, in spite of his fear and disgust, began to moan.

"Never friends, Reno. Don't lie. Can always tell when you lie. Makes me angry. Don't want to be angry with you. Just let me love you and then we'll get married. I'll be a good husband. I swear I will."

Reno began to cry for real. He pounded on Cloud's shoulders with his fists, knowing there was no way and no one on the whole Planet to stop him. "Cloud! For fuck's sake! Don' do this to me! Don'!"

Reno screamed as Cloud entered his body with one thrust. "Fuck! Oh fuck! Tearin' me 'part, Strife! Take it out! Ah! Hah! Take it ooouuuttt!"

Cloud groaned at the tightness, which increased with Reno's struggling. He nestled his face in the crook of Reno's swan-like neck and inhaled his fear-tinged sweet smell. He made some tentative thrusts.

Reno screaming all the way.

Cloud noticed his position when one of Reno's screams changed color. He nodded his head to himself and began to thrust directly into Reno's prostate. "Love you, Reno. Always love you."

Reno's eyes rolled to the back of his head. His screams became wails as Cloud continued to pound on his prostate.

Cloud had grasped his hands firmly around Reno's shoulders, so he could pull himself up, while still keeping Reno close.

Without thinking, Reno went from punching Cloud's shoulders to wrapping his long arms in a death-grip around Cloud's neck. He wasn't trying to choke Cloud, not that he had the strength to do it, but just to hang on. "Ga! Ga! Ah! Cloud! Ha! Cloud! Hurts! It hurts! Oh! Stop! Hurts! Ha! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! Oh! Ah!"

Cloud moved his head up and looked at Reno's face as he felt his own lower stomach tighten. "Reno? Baby, open your eyes. Want to see your pretty eyes when I come inside you."

Reno's eyes shot open to look up with fright to Cloud. He shook his head. His whole face pleading. "Na! No! Oh! Cloud! Don'! Oh! Don! Come! In! Oh! Please! Oh! Ha! Please! Don'!

Cloud leaned down and kissed Reno for the first time. He rolled his tongue around as he grasped Reno's surprising erection with one hand. He brought his head back up to stare at a wide-eyed, stunned Reno. "Sorry, mate. Have to mark you."

Cloud roughly fisted Reno's erection along with his thrusts, wanting Reno to come either before or when he did.

Reno flopped back in despair and let himself be taken. He stared up at Cloud.

Crazy fucker. He was smiling that creepy smile again.

Reno screamed as his body clenched up as he came for the first time with a man inside of him.

Cloud pointed Reno's spouting penis so the semen hit them both. He then released it to dribble limply on Reno stomach. He then spread the semen, with that hand, over both his and Reno's torsos.

Reno was too tired to even be disgusted.

After this was done, Cloud pounded Reno's body for ten more minutes before he came with a scream and a gush inside of Reno's virgin bowels.

Reno closed his eyes, in relief, that it was finally over. The tears leaked from the sides of his eyes.

Cloud licked them up as he continued to come inside Reno.

When Cloud was finally finished, instead of pulling out and getting off of Reno, he laid back down on top of Reno, rested his head against Reno's shoulder, and closed his eyes.

Reno's eyes opened and they looked down incredulously at the top of Strife's head. "You're done. Get the fuck off me, so I can put some clothes on. Wanna leave and forget this ever happened, yo."

Cloud didn't budge one bit. He just began to run one hand up-and-down Reno's lax arm. "Get used to it. After we're married, with the Mako in my blood, we're probably going to be making love about ten times a day, at least."

Reno paled. The psycho still thought they were going to get married and live happily ever after.

Reno knew he was still bleeding inside from just the rough penetration alone. He didn't have the strength to fight, so he just shook his head no, again. "For the last time, ya crazy fuck. This Turk ain' marryin' ya. I'm gonna get up, find some clothes that ain' torn to pieces, get dressed, and never see your psycho face again. See?"

If possible, Cloud relaxed even more.

Reno had enough strength to feebly smack the side of his Chocobo-blonde head, out of principle.

"Not going to happen."

Reno blew a raspberry through his lips at Cloud's solemn declaration. It was a well-known statement signifying nothing and everything to Strife's way of thinking. "How ya plan on stopping' this Turk."

Cloud's forehead creased as he actually attempted to think. "I could tie you up, but I've heard that you're the best at escaping. In fact, you're the instructor to the head Turk instructor."

Reno's eyebrows slightly raised at the length of Cloud's reconnaissance.

"I could break your legs every time you try to escape me. But too many people know you, you'd get help from somebody who I'd have to kill in the end. Kind of a waste of my time."

Reno's lip curled at Cloud's blasé attitude towards murder. You would think he was a Turk.

Cloud adjusted his body slightly to help with his thinking.

Reno winced as Cloud slightly pulled out. Gods! That stung! Good thing he wasn't gay. He'd never have to feel this shitty again.

"Nope. My original plan is the best. We're going to get married and you'll take care of me of your own free will."

Reno rolled his eyes.

Cloud's mind was more than a broken record. It was a whole set of broken records.

Reno decided to humor the nut, just until he could get away from him. "What made you think I'd marry you, in the first place, yo?"

"You told Tifa."

If Reno had room to back up, he would have. "What the fuck? When?"

Cloud sighed with the remembrance. "After I defeated Sephiroth, we all met back up here and got drunk. You told Tifa that you always loved me and that you wanted to marry me and have my babies. Tifa tried to laugh it off, like everybody else, but you got mad. You said that you always loved me, since I was an infantryman in Shinra. You just couldn't tell me because of their rule back then about Gays. You didn't want me dishonorably discharged for how you felt. Didn't know you felt the same way. Loved you from the start. You just didn't seem interested. Kept saying you were straight. If you are, a whole lot changed while I was imprisoned with Hojo."

Reno had unconsciously wrapped his arms back around Cloud's muscled back and shoulders when he was reminded of the past. "Yeah, Strife. Whole lot changed. Thought you died. Was told right-to-left that you were dead and to give up on ya. Color me surprised, when ya show up six years later, and almost kill me for dropping the Plate. Deserved it, though. Should've killed me, Strife. It'd stop the nightmares cold, yo."

Cloud tightened his embrace around Reno. "If I killed you, then I'd be out one mate and future mother of my children. Wouldn't I?"

Reno frowned as he thought back to what he had, most assuredly, proclaimed to all the denizens of Edge, in one of his famous drunken stupors. "Uhh. Cloud? How am I supposed to have your children? I'm a guy."

Cloud sighed at Reno's query like he was the crazy one. "After you yelled your love for me, to all the patrons in the bar, Rufus declared that he would place the researchers on it right away and that he would be all the childrens' official Godfather. Rufus called me a couple of days ago, in Junon, and said that the scientists have the procedure perfected and ready. He's just waiting for our okay. Which he'll have, as soon as we get married today."

Reno grimaced when he heard of Rufus's familiar backstabbing ways. He should have known.

Ever since Cloud turned him down for bodyguard duty, Rufus had been salivating at the bit to get Cloud Strife back under the Shinra name.

Cloud's name and presence alone would help bolster New Shinra's standing on the Planet's financial stage.

Oh no. Doesn't matter what Reno thinks, or feels, or if he's even gay. Just throw him to the horny lone wolf and watch him flail.

If Reno didn't love Cloud so much, he'd spit. He was so pissed.

Reno closed his eyes and, consciously, willed the anger away. He knew Cloud could always sense his feelings. Anger would just set him off again.

Frankly, Reno didn't think his ass could take another round without a heavy dosing of Mastered Cure Materia.

Reno slightly moved forward and kissed the top of Cloud's head. Cloud hummed in contentment. "So… Strife? Where's the ceremony happening?"

Cloud rose up to gaze at Reno and grinned. He actually grinned.

Reno hadn't seen him smile like that since before he left for that damned trip back to Neibelheim.

"Justice of the Peace. That's where Tifa went. She's meeting up with Rufus, Tseng , and Rude to set everything up. Rude wasn't so much into it, but Tifa convinced him. She always does."

Reno quirked an eyebrow. He motioned with his pointer finger to their still joined bodies. "And this?"

Cloud frowned, for once acknowledging that he had done wrong.

Reno swore. Fucker knew exactly how to play him.

Reno would do anything to see Cloud grin again. Reno the Turk was now, officially, Reno the Married Sucker. "Fuck! Stop! Stop with the frowning already! Don' forgive ya. Sure as hell still mad at ya. Just don' look sad anymore. 'Kay? I'm gonna be doin' enough of that while we're getting hitched, yo."

Cloud's grin returned and once again Reno's eyes rolled. Yep, Reno was being played big time.

"Well, Hero of the World. Whatta we gonna do 'bout my suit. Seein' ya made confetti out of it?"

"Tifa's bringing a new one from the suit maker. Rufus had it especially made for your size. He had one made for me too. Says it will bring us good luck, so we'd have pretty kids. He said he wouldn't be seen in public with them if they came out ugly."

Reno snorted and half-heartedly kissed the tip of Cloud's nose. "Ain't possible, Strife. Ugly don't come near me. I beat it back with my EMR. I don't think your genes know what ugly is. We'll do fine, Strife. Just listen to the mate and pay the bills. I'll take care of everything else. Turk's honor, yo."