Chapter 4

Sanzo pushed the door open gently. He crept inside and closed it with a soft click. He then walked over to the bed which Goku occupied. Hakkai had placed a cool cloth on the boy's head earlier to help the fever. He lightly touched the cloth and discovered how warm it was. Gently, he took the warm cloth of the boy's brow and dipped it in the cool water.

As he watched at his charge, Sanzo thought back four days before. He thought about the monster that had slowly been eating Kougaiji's soul away, as he wrung out the excess water from the wash cloth.

As Sanzo set unconscious Goku down in the shade, he felt an evil aura behind him. He knew it was coming from Kougaiji.

He ran to help Hakkai and Gojyo as they battled the evil that blanketed Kougaiji's soul, slowly killing him, taking him away from reality and consciousness. Twice, Sanzo tried using the Maten Sutra to finish the curse of the red crystal hanging around Kougaiji's neck, but the cursed prince laid a painful blow on him that he did not have a single chance both times. Even with Dokugakuji, Gojyo and Hakkai to help him.

Sanzo gently brushed away the strand of hair from Goku's face and pressed the cloth to his forehead, causing the boy to moan. The priest's eyes softened as he ran a hand through the thinned brown hair, regretting that it was not as silky as he remembered.

The first blow had caused a bruise to form. The next caused his insides to bleed... it caused him to fall.

"Shh…" the priest hushed, gently running the cold wash cloth over Goku's hot tear stained cheeks.

He could not move. So he lay, awaiting the near fatal blow... then he heard the voice he knew so well...

Goku slowly opened his eyes and just looked at him, his eyes unreadable. A staring contest started again, but this time, it was with question.

"He knew these three?" asked Sanzo.

"I'm sorry..." Sanzo murmured, looking at his ward straight in the eye.

Goku continued to stare at him as the monk brought the wash cloth down his hot neck. His golden eyes unreadable. Sanzo continued to wash his face, uncomfortable at the staring.

Suddenly, to the monk's surprise, the boy threw himself against him. Sanzo would have shoved the boy for hugging him, but for some reason he could not. Instead he returned the embrace and felt the boy's shoulders shaking.

"They were his family before I locked him up," Kanzeon was saying. "It was the most painful decision you had to make before you died."

"He was my son before?" asked Sanzo. Kanzeon nodded, "That explains why I heard his voice," Sanzo murmured. He thought for a moment, "Wait a minute..."

A soft sob emitted from Goku. It relieved Sanzo that Goku was crying openly. It showed the monk that he was back to normal.

He held Goku in his arms the way a father would. "Why did you hide your pain?" he asked Goku, after a while.

"You're saying that I'm the incarnation of this Konzen?" asked Sanzo, "Goku's dad?"

"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" asked Kanzeon, "You were his adopted father."

"I was afraid you'd think it was childish," the boy sobbed, "because I'm already childish enough."

Sanzo winced at Goku's reply.

"Trying to remember one's past and to have only one linkage to that past is not childish," Sanzo admonished gently.

Goku did not look at him. He clutched his father figure's arm and was grateful that he could hear the priest's heartbeat, to able to feel the cool, yet inwardly warm, touch of Sanzo's hands.

"It would be when you're given a second family and a second chance," he murmured. Sanzo sighed, the 'behold nothing' part may have come from himself. There was turningn around and taking back about 'beholding nothing'. They fight for themselves, true, but that did not mean that they did not care for each other. "No, Goku, it isn't," said Sanzo, gently ruffling the boy's brown hair, "If you had told me earlier, I would've..."

"What could you do?" Goku sobbed, "How many people know the names of people from 500 years ago?" He continued before Sanzo could answer, "I was given a second family, I shouldn't mourn for my first." Sanzo tightened his grip around his charge as he allowed the boy to cry. This was amongst the times when he found how much like a child Goku still was.

"For one thing, if you had told me, I would have understood," said Sanzo, "And it's okay for you to mourn. It shows that you still love them, just don't let it take over your life."

He chuckled then. "Otherwise you'd end up like me."

Goku did not laugh, but his crying subsided due to letting this information sink in. He then clutched the other's arm more tightly, and allowed his shoulders to weigh down with guilt again.

"Why didn't you leave me here?" asked Goku, "I don't want to be a burden..." "Don't even think that," said Sanzo sharply, "You never were a burden." He paused for a moment, "You heard me, didn't you?" "Not consciously..." Goku murmured.

The priest sighed tiredly, running a hand through the golden fibres of his hair before bringing it down to rub soothing circles between the boy's shoulder blades. "You're a pain and a half sometimes," said Sanzo, "But you were never a burden, and you never will be." The priest could hear the suppressed tears beginning to unfold.

"We need you..." he continued, "I need you..." Goku cried even harder. You said I was your sun, Sanzo thought as he held the boy in his arms, rocking him, but you are our sun, you gave us something to live for, even if we've said that we are all on our own sides. He continued to rock the boy until Goku fell asleep. Content with what was done , and free from guilt, Sanzo allowed his charge to lay his head on his lap. Sanzo sat there as sleep crept up to him and swallowed into inner peace.

Sanzo woke up with dawn's sunlight in his eyes. He got up from his position from the chair and checked on Goku. The boy's fever surprisingly subsided in comparison to the night before. It should only be a day or two more until they would travel again.

"I see you manage to get him to open up," said a voice. Sanzo looked up to find Kanzeon smirking down at him. Instead of his usual annoyed look, Sanzo gave her a smirk in return. Looking down at Goku, he asked, "Mind telling me why you're not allowing him to remember, or even allow him to?"

Kanzeon's face became serious. She sighed. "Like you, his past is filled with despair," she explained, "I only took his memories away to protect him, as his father had asked." Caressing Goku's sleeping face, Kanzeon smiled, "He ought to rest more easily now. You have no idea how the world of dreams protect those who are constantly haunted by their past."

Goku whimpered. Sanzo knew he was trying to push away a bad dream.

Kanzeon kissed Goku lightly on his forehead, "Dream a happy dream little one," she said, "You're no longer in danger." With that, she disappeared. The sun had now fully risen, bathing the desert with its light.

"Care to tell me why you hit him? Or is that why you're in here in the first place?" said a cool voice. Sanzo looked up to find Hakkai with a cold look on his face, telling him, "Hurt him again, you'll face my wrath." The priest looked down at his charge and back at the before giving his answer.

"I had no reason to," replied Sanzo, "It was neither in my place nor was it my right to do so."

The healer's eyes darkened. It would be sometime before he could trust the blond to handle the boy. He merely nodded and sat in a chair, near the bed. They were both silent for a long while until Sanzo asked, "You wanted to tell me something?" another pause, "Or is it about that red crystal?"

"There's something that bothers me," said Hakkai. "Hn?" asked Sanzo. "Wasn't there supposed to be two of those red crystals?" he asked, "If there is..."

"Why bother looking for it?" replied Sanzo, "It's not like Kougaiji's going to try it again any time soon. Especially since Goku's mad at him."

"True," agreed Hakkai. His gaze shifted to the small form in bed. Head on the lap of his father figure. He hope Goku would forgive the prince for being rude at this point. The healer thought back on the day Dokugakuji said, "Thank him for me when he wakes up..." Just how are they going to tell Goku?

The next day...

"You sure you ready to travel?" asked Gojyo sceptically. Goku sighed heavily, "I've been in bed all week!" he protested. "You do realise that you might be stuck in bed for a month if you over exert yourself," said Gojyo. "Good point," Goku consented, munching on a meat bun. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he was still weak from fever, but he was eating again. Hakkai let his stiff muscles relaxed for the first time that week. Everything was peaceful, everyone was all right, the moment was good... for now.

OWARI

Coming up: The sequel to this story: The Red Crystal. Thank you all for your support.