A/N Just a quick note: If anyone's wondering why Breath on the Embers is taking so long, it's not because I've forgotten it! Rather, I had the whole thing neatly planned out... and then the ideas came along. Yes, I have too much inspiration. That thing is quickly turning into a contestant for the MOST EPIC FIC EVAR!!1! award. Once I marshall it into some readable shape, it'll be back on track. Please bear with me!

Anyway, this has been dormant in my computer. Finally sorted out my stuff after Le Big Move. My take on how futile romance can be in 12k sometimes. Enjoy!

Affection

"Those two are funny," Youko said over the top of her teacup. "They act like an old married couple."

"Shu-jou?"

"En-Ou and Enki," she explained, nodding her head in their direction. She and her kirin sat on a balcony overlooking Gen'ei palace. Her friends were having an argument below.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"They fight and make out like they can't stand each other. They don't take any nonsense from each other. But deep down, they're both totally devoted. Each is the other's rock of support. Although you'd never get them to admit it."

"They don't seem to get on very well to me."

She smiled. "Ah, it's a front to confuse people and take them off their guard. I wonder how they act when they're alone. They have the funniest ways of showing affection."

"But En Taiho is always saying how En-Ou mistreats him," said Keiki, hands folded primly in his lap, back straight.

"Well, of course he would. They can't let it seem like they like each other. And anyway, how often have you seen Shouryuu hitting Enki? It's always the other way around. Enki keeps him down-to-earth and he appreciates that. I think the teasing is his way of showing gratitude."

Keiki frowned.

Youko left the table and sat on the balustrade by his elbow, leaning out to get a better look. Her kirin put a hand out to restrain her.

"I won't fall."

He sighed. "Be careful."

She swung her legs, enjoying the freedom of silk trousers. Formidable as her handmaidens were, even they couldn't reach her in En.

"Han-Ou, now," she mused, warming to her theme. The subject of her discussion sat down below, unaware of her scrutiny. Hanrin played a lilting melody on her lute, the faintest strains of which tugged at their hearing.

"He's very attentive in public, isn't he? Unusually so. I wonder how they act around each other when they're alone. They make such a big show of being devoted to each other. Maybe they're not quite…no," she shook her head, red hair blowing in the wind. "No, I think they're somehow quieter when they're alone. I have no doubt that they really do love each other. But after three hundred years, maybe you're beyond words. He treats her like a flawlessly cut jewel. In public, it's polite to make a big fuss over it. But the true expert knows that no amount of flattery or description can ever do the stone justice. So it's best not to say anything at all, and admire it in silence."

Keiki shifted. "I don't think this is quite appropriate," he said sternly. "They are the rulers of other countries and as so deserve our respect. Their private lives are none of our business."

"Oh, Keiki. What shall I do with you?"

"What shall you…?"

"Never mind. Where was I? They go together well too. Like a matched pair of earrings."

"They do seem to coexist harmoniously," said Keiki reluctantly.

She laughed. "Harmony? With Hanrin on the scene? I was thinking along the lines that they can both call up storms in the same manner. They're like two bright colours that go well on a young woman's kimono but shock anywhere else. Sometimes they scare me."

"Shu-jou?"

"Keiki, you always take everything so literally."

"I apologise. Is that a bad thing?"

"Hmm? No. You're like Taiki in that respect. So earnest and taking everything to heart. Just like brothers."

He looked down at the white terrace below. The sea glittered bright blue in the background. Gyousou stood with his arms crossed on the railings, studiously ignoring the argument behind them. Taiki kept on shooting worried glances back.

"Now…Takasato-kun," she continued, "he's very out in the open. If he has a problem, it only takes a little coaxing to get him to share. Similarly, he wears his heart on his sleeve. He always seems so affectionate towards Tai-Ou. He's anxious to let his master know that he cares for him.

"Gyousou is much the same, but he's a little gruffer, in the way that old soldiers are. He shows his feelings through kindness and understanding. Through his actions, not his words. He seems very genuine that way."

"Indeed."

"They seem like a perfect match. Just like the other pairs, they balance each other out. Taiki needs a strong presence to guard his back, and Tai-Ou needs a joyful and affectionate soul to stop him from getting too fierce or harsh. I think he's especially drawn to Takasato-kun because of his purity. Warriors like that, it helps them remember that life isn't all battles and bloodshed. Peace, happiness and love exist as well."

"That is the purpose of the kirin. To counsel compassion for one's subjects, and to guide the Emperor or Empress along the right path."

She gave him a sideways glance. "Well, yes. But I don't think you've quite got it."

"Shu-jou?"

"I've been thinking lately," Youko explained. "About being Empress. I wonder how hard it is for a kirin to understand – especially such a kirin as you, Keiki. By nature, your kind sees suffering and thinks of nothing but of how terrible it is, and that it must be ended. It's a different case for the ruler. Far beyond the problems of trying to create a good kingdom, and addressing that suffering, it's very easy to slip into depression. You think "this is too much, what can I do?", and "I'm useless. How can one person change an entire country by themselves?"

"Shu-jou…"

"For a person alone, it would be too great a burden. It would be so easy to fall into despair, or the wrong belief that violence and tightened laws could solve the problem. So many Kings and Queens had fallen that way, especially in my world.

"But the presence of a kirin – so much light and purity. A mind unable to condemn evil. Total forgiveness and compassion. Not only does it help the king remember to treat his or her subjects kindly, but it's… it's like keeping a candle lit in the king's soul. To keep the shadows away. I can't describe it better than that."

She snuck a glance at his perplexed face and smiled to herself. " I don't suppose you know what I'm talking about. Maybe it's easier if I… Keiki, have you ever thought that some rulers keep to the straight and narrow because they don't want their kirin to be upset with them?"

His eyes widened. "But the kirin has no such…"

She waved a hand. "What human could look into the face of such beauty and bear to see disappointment? Don't you remember how much I used to hate your sighs?"

He was shocked. "…That was the reason?"

"What else? Never in my life had I experienced something as profound as my bond with you. We share the same burden, the same joys, the same life. I felt honoured, but also worried. Something so weighty – I wanted to live up to it. I wanted you to think well of me."

"But…"

She turned to look at the group below. Shouryuu was sitting defeated on a chair, rolling his eyes while Enki delivered a lecture. From this angle, though, she could see that he was hiding a smile.

She spoke softly. "When we look into the face of our kirin – the most amazing and frankly nerve-wracking gift ever bestowed on us- we see the spirit of hope. Everyone dreams, at least when they're young and have the world at their feet. The kirin invokes that almost-forgotten feeling, before reality made itself known and the soul became bitter and cynical. Their childlike nature reminds us of how to believe in justice prevailing, and goodness triumphant, and the power of pure love, of every kind."

She smiled at last and closed her eyes. "Who could bear to let such a thing as that go? To see it replaced with fear and hopelessness. It would be unbearable."

They were silent for a while. Youko got the impression that her kirin had a lot to think about.

After several minutes, he spoke up, voice full of uncertainty and hesitant.

"There's… You've left two people out."

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up in surprise.

"You've described everyone here but ourselves," he said, averting his eyes.

Youko stared at him a moment. "Yes, I have."

She sat back, frowning slightly. "Well…let me think. I…I…"

Disappointment clouded his eyes as she sat in silence. She looked up eventually and smiled ruefully.

"Well, look at that. And I was being so eloquent too."

"Shu-jou…"

She tilted her head. "Perhaps I've been forgetting how gentle you are. I was so used to your attitude, and seeing past it, that I forgot that you yourself need encouragement sometimes. Forgive me, Keiki. Once again, I have done something selfish."

"Shu-jou, no-"

"If we were to engage in lengthy discussions of our ardour for each other – well, nothing would get done, would it? Not to mention the ministers would get nervous. We have a country to run, after all."

A pause, then: "Yes, Shu-jou."

She looked at him for a moment, then leaned forward with a conspiratorial smile,

"But just between you and me…and I didn't tell you this, Keiki… I utterly adore you right down to the bottom of your feet."

And with that, she leant in all the way and brushed away the hair from his face. She carefully pressed a kiss to his lips.

Nothing more was said, but when they joined the whole group, Taiki was heard to remark how unusually happy the Kei Taiho looked that day.

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