A Big Brother for Dean

The sound of the Impala sends him out to the window. Castiel sees Dean step out first followed by Sam from the passenger seat. Nobody says anything, adding to the uneasy feeling he's had since the two left the compound earlier. And Dean's heavy gait and the way he keeps looking to the ground make his heart heavy.

Dean's been talking, that much he knows, and from the look of it, somehow the deed brings nothing but more agony. Something crumbles inside Castiel.

"You could've made him forget." A low voice rings in his ear from behind. Uriel. "You patched up all his cuts and wounds but you left the memory of torment and pain intact. It's too late to do anything now. He will never fully heal."

"Should he have?" Castiel asks hollowly. "Should he have not?" He sighs, heavily, gazing down. "I have done what I was told to do. What is His plan with Dean, if I may know? He was sent back to earth, he is alive again, he is not supposed to remember hell!"

"But you don't know that," Uriel says gently. "And you should not blame Sam or anybody for their helplessness in offering comfort to Dean."

"I don't blame Sam," Castiel gapes, but the next second he turns away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he mumbles. "But Dean is broken, damaged. He needs someone, something to hold on."

"Castiel—"

Castiel knows when he hears a warning.

"I don't mean anything. Besides, aren't we supposed to follow his orders? Worship him? But it's too… I only want – to be his big brother. To be someone he can talk to, someone who'll soothe him, protect him." Castiel spins around and faces Uriel. "He at least deserves it, Uriel."

"Hey," Uriel raises his hands. "This attachment you have – you're the one who's going to pay later. Just – be careful."

Castiel would roll his eyes if he were Sam. As he is what he is, he simply turns but stops short at the sight of Dean at the doorway. The man's red, moist eyes halt him.

And suddenly Castiel is not merely an angel in a tax accountant suit. He becomes angel in all sense of the word. Dean doesn't know what's coming to him; Castiel won't allow him. Castiel embraces Dean, engulfs him, tilts him up to look at him – only at him – and drapes his downy, feathery pale wings all over him, taking off the entire burden and plunging into his heart, bleaching out all anguish Castiel finds there. He makes sure Dean only feels warmth, peace, and love.

Though Uriel is right about something – that Dean will never really heal – Castiel will just do this to Dean again, and again, every time the load feels heavy.

fin