Listen, Rose, I've been thinking...
Oh.
It's actually amazing how much those simple words can hurt. And the fact he's left it hanging; he actually wrote '...' at the end. The silence hurts more, though. Like I was supposed to see it coming and I should be writing something like 'yeah, me too'.
Maybe it's a trick! Like, 'Listen, Rose, I've been thinking... ...about you. I can't stop. I love you. I love you I love you I love you.' We've said it to each other before so it's no big deal.
No, cos he wouldn't have said my full name. No, it'd be 'Rosie' or 'cutie' or 'baby', or, if he was in the mood, 'sexy'.
He still hasn't said anything. It's been five minutes.
...yeah?
I reckon it was one of the best inventions Uncle George ever came up with, Instant Message Parchment, or IMP. Basically like msn that Muggles use, only you have two people and two bits of parchment, and as you write it appears on the others bit of parchment.
Still nothing. Oh, god, I'm so nervous I think I'm gonna vomit. I can picture him, running his hand through his sleek blonde hair, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose, like he does when he's nervous or upset. At least, I hope he's nervous or upset. I doubt he's cruel enough to be enjoying this.
He's writing...I can't think about anything else.
I don't think this is going to work. I don't want to hurt you any-
Oh, this is you not hurting me, Scorpius?
He's silent. Yep, I was right. He's breaking up with me.
Rose, I'm sorry. But it's the holidays and we won't see each other for two months. I just don't want us to get too attached when we don't know what's going to happen on the holidays.
Is there someone else? Or are you planning on cheating over the holidays?
No, Rosie, no. I just...I don't think we can work. Our families are complete opposites; we're Romeo and Juliet and I don't want either of us to die.
Cowardly slime.
Corey, that's ridiculous. Yeah, ok, I'm pretty into American culture and I love the name Corey...good thing it can fit with Scorpius's name, I suppose. I mean, what do you nickname someone called Scorpius? All I've got is Scorp, Corey, and Malfoy for when I'm really, really pissed at him. Our parents know we're dating, so what problem would they have with us staying together? Besides, my dad would be more of a problem than your dad. Or getting them in the same room... We've been together for three years, why now? The summer holidays never bugged us before. We hardly batted an eye. Why now?
I...
Great, he doesn't even have a good reason. He just wants to break up. Fanfuckingtastic.
Remember when you introduce me to Dominique?
I frown. Yes, of course I remember introducing you to my part Veela cousin. The fact that you two became such fast friends in such a short time worried me, as you well know, prick. The fact you're bringing her up now freaks me out, too.
Very well, actually.
I know it hurt you that we were so friendly so quickly and I swear, honest to god, nothing was going on, we just got on really well, but nothing was going on. I know I hurt you and I don't want to do that ever again. So I think it would be better if we just were friends, Rosie, because I hate it when you hurt and I don't ever want you to feel like that again. And I think because we go home tomorrow you'll be doubtful all two months. I don't want you feeling like that. All through our seventh year-
Oh, that's it, isn't it, Corey? You don't want a distraction over your final year so you can focus on school and beat me for once.
Rosie...you know that's not it.
Look, come and talk to me in person if you want to break up, dick-head. This is unfair.
Fine, meet me in our room as soon as possible. Keep your imp with you in case of teachers. And Rosie, don't call me dickhead. You know how much I hate it when you're angry at me.
Yes, I do know, idiot. If he wants to meet face to face I suppose he's better than I was giving him credit for. But I'm still angry, so I'll call him dickhead if I want to.
I get to the room and sit and wait. And wait. I'm still bloody waiting, idiot!!
One word, Rose, one word: Filch.
Dad thought it was amazing that Filch was still there in my first year, and now that I'm finished my sixth he's still amazed that the old toss-pot is still breathing. Mrs. Norris kicked the bucket around 2000, and he hasn't replaced her since. Word is he's planning to, though, because one of Mrs. Norris' sister's children has just had kittens and he reckons one of them would be perfect.
The door opens and Scorpius peeks his blonde head through the door.
"It's ok, Corey," I say in a slightly louder than normal voice. To prove that it's ok, not to attract Filch or anything. Not that he can move very fast anyway these days.
"Rosie, please, I'm so sorry," he says as he walks towards me. He wraps his arms around me but I stay stiff as a board. "Aw, c'mon, Rose! Please, I'm just trying to make it better."
"You said you loved me. How is this love?"
He stares at me, but eventually realises that I'm not backing down so he looks at the floor.
"Why do you want to break up Corey, really? Your honest reason."
He sighs.
"You probably don't know this, but dad's good friends with the Headmaster over at Beauxbatons and he reckons that after I graduate I can go over there and start training to be the Charms professor. But it's pretty much right after I graduate. If I want the job, that is. And, Rose, I really, really do. Do you know how hard it is to be a Professor? There are only job vacancies every five years or so ever since you're uncle killed Voldemort, and to get a job that you know you'd enjoy and be good at is even rarer! It's fantastic pay and perfect for me, and I'd love to take it. There's only one reason I shouldn't, and that's you. I made a pro's and con's list, and I realised you're equivalent to the entire pro's list. I love you but I think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I really, really have to take it."
My eye stings. And now my chin is trembling.
"Rosie, you're my first love and I will probably always love you and always have feelings for you, but I can't stand hurting you."
"Fine, whatever. Good for you, Scorpius, congratulations on landing a fantastic job and forgetting that I have connections too and could've gotten you a job at Hogwarts or even somewhere in Ireland or Wales. Thanks so much, Scorpius, for making my last night so fantastic. You're a fantastic person, you know that? With a fantastic family. You were all so fantastic to Uncle Harry back in the day. You're fantastic, Scorp."
I walk away and as I reach the door, I turn around.
"Oh, and you're a fantastic kisser."
--
I can feel him staring at me from the other side of the Hall.
Ever notice how slow two months can seem when you aren't doing much, but suddenly it's over? It's the first day of my seventh year, and I'm sitting at the breakfast table waiting for my timetable. I have my brand new robes on, along with my brand new bag and shoes and books. Yeah, Mum went a bit overboard when I got the Head Girl badge...
And, oh, whoop-di-fricken'-do, guess who's Head Boy? I wish with all my heart it was Al, but, no, it's Malfoy. Lucky we don't have our own private common room anymore. They banned that a couple of years after I was born; too many Heads' were hooking up there.
"Rose Weasley?" I hear Professor Longbottom call.
"Here, Professor," I say and wave. Jesus, he's over every third night; you'd think he could recognise me by – oh. He has a HUGE slash across his forehead. Guess he's got a bit of a memory problem....
"Ah, Rosie,"
"Hey, Uncle Neville." Nope, all fixed.
"Ok, so you're doing NEWT Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, DADA, Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies. Hm, a lot like your mother, eh?" He smiles and taps the parchment, hands it to me then walks away.
Great. Double Muggle Studies first. It's not that I don't like it, I just don't want to do it for my NEWTs. Mum pressured me into it, I guess.
I start making my way to the fourth floor, not really rushing, just walking normally. It's all good until someone falls into step next to me.
"Hey, Rosie," Corey says, and smiles timidly at me. He waits for me to say something, but I don't. "Erm...congratulations on making Head Girl! It's pretty great, isn't it? The perks we get?"
I still say nothing.
"Have a good holiday?"
"Yes, I did actually, Malfoy. Did you?"
"Um, not really," he says, wincing at me calling him Malfoy. That name isn't really associated with anything good these days and he hates it. "The Beauxbatons job fell through. Dad was really pissed off. So why were your holidays so good?"
"Oh, this and that," I say nonchalantly, but I can tell this is what he's been building up to.
"Does this and that mean a boyfriend, Rose? Jeff Corner has been bragging that you two hooked in and went out for a week."
"Yeah, he's a this. It didn't work out though."
"Oh?"
I sigh and spin around to face him.
"Not that it's any of your business, Malfoy, we liked different things."
"What things?"
"He liked me, I liked someone else. And no," I say, making his smile fall off faster than his pants used to, "It's not you."
"Harry Fisher? And Marcus Smith? And Harry Thomas? Rosie, I heard you were with a new guy every week!"
"Yeah, and?"
"I...um...it's not healthy!" he shouts.
"Whatever," I roll my eyes and walk into the Muggle Studies class.
Yeah, it's true. Ok, I know it's not healthy and it's obvious I'm not over him, but I want him to hurt. Hurt as much as I hurt.
At lunch I go to sit with Harry Richards, my latest catch. After the war there was an influx of boys named 'Harry' and girls named 'Harriet', which really freaked out Uncle Harry. Mind you, the songs freaked him out a lot more, and the people who named their kids 'Potter'. That's not a name! Like, 'Hi, my name is Potter Smith.' That so doesn't work! I say goodbye to Harry and to be honest, I'm thinking of dropping him. He's getting too serious.
Al walks with me to Charms and as we go into the room he hands me half a sheet of imp. I look quizzically at him; he's just as serious about school as I am, but he just shakes his head and goes to sit with some of his Hufflepuff friends. As Professor Dannix starts talking Al begins scribbling and my imp ruffles in front of me.
Rosie, what was going on with you on the holidays?
I don't know what you mean, Al.
Yes you do. You broke up with Scorp on the last day of school and for the eight weeks of holidays you had eight boyfriends, and I know you, Rosie, and I know they're the kind of boys you would never date. Why are you doing this? Why don't you just talk to Scorp?
It bugs me that Al and Scorp are such good friends.
Because, Al, he dumped me for a fucking job that fell through in the end. Why not wait until sometime during the year and talk about it rather than just break up? And now he wants to be friends! I hurt, Al. I physically hurt. My chest is tight and I feel like I'm gonna spew every time I see him, and being with another guy makes it feel better.
So why a new one every week?
...
I look up at him, and he raises an eyebrow at me.
Erm...well I like them at first but after a few days I notice their flaws.
Really?
Yes.
Bull, Rosie. You just think whoring around- I wince at his harsh terminology...and his truthfulness- will hurt Scorp the most. And flaws? What flaws? They don't have blonde hair? They aren't exactly half a foot taller than you? They don't have stormy grey eyes and a perfect body?
I look up at him and he waggles his eyebrows. I can hardly contain my laughter.
Which girls have you been talking to, then?
Oh, everyone, Rosie-pose. All the girls seem to think of him as a sex-god.
How the hell would they know?
Don't know. Back in the day everyone thought of his dad as a sex-god, too.
Draco? As if!
Yeah! And they thought your mum and Draco would've made a great couple because of the whole...being complete opposites thing.
Ew! Not only is that just wrong, that would make me and Scorp brother and sister. Ew, ew, ew.
So true, Rose. Heaps of people wanted dad and Draco to get together, too. Don't tell me that's right. No, come on. It's obvious to everyone what's happening with the multiple boyfriends. I overheard our mums talking about it on the holidays; your mum is worried.
Then why didn't she talk to me?! Dad can't know, because if he did he'd've 'talked' to me.
Well, ok. Our mums, my dad, and the general Hogwarts public. Even the boys you're going with know. Hugo and Lily don't know...I think they're too nervous about OWLs to pay attention to anything else. You really need to stop, Rose. You're reputation is being thrashed.
Al, I really don't care. I need time to get over it in my own way.
Well, if you need to talk to me, I'm here. I'm your confidante, my dear Rosie. You can trust me.
I know, Al, you dork.
I know it's a personal question, and you don't have to answer, but how far have you and Scorp gone? I mean, you went out for three years...something was bound to happen. And he won't tell me out of respect. Jerk. I've told him that I've seen you naked before...I just neglect to mention it was about 12 years ago.
Al! Now he probably thinks we're incestuous. Thanks a lot.
Gonna tell me how far you've gone?
We look at each other and I glare at him.
Psh. Fine, don't tell me. Amanda Bell and I, on the other hand...whoo! She's a firecracker, that one.
Al? I don't care. At all! Don't tell me. Now, I want to focus on what Professor Dannix is saying, so shut up.
Ok, ok. Walk with you to DADA next?
I nod at him and begin taking notes on Charms, but give up after a couple of minutes. All he's saying is how hard NEWTs are going to be, how hard we'll have to study, how much homework we'll get, blah blah blah. And then he gives us roughly an hours worth of work for homework. Great.
As Al and I walk into the DADA room we both groan. Professor Markham is absolutely mental about Uncle Harry and is over-the-top in her treatment of James, me, Al, Hugo and Lily. She's also over-the-top with Teddy, Victoire, Dom, Louis, Molly, Lucy, Fred and Roxanne, but not so much. I think it's because they're Uncle Harrys' extended family, whereas mum and dad were in the Golden Trio, or whatever. I think its bull, cos we all get on equally well, we just see the Potter cousins more often. Anyway, when she gets Uncle Harry in for talks, she likes to spruce up the room. Right now the room has hundreds of pictures of the Final Battle all around the walls, mock Voldemorts and Harrys pretend duelling and, in what I think is a disgusting 'tribute', pretend gravestones of all the people close to Uncle Harry that died. Uncle Fred, Lupin and Tonks, Colin Creevey and Snape are the main ones, with a few smaller ones littered around.
We sit down at our desks and leave everything in our bags, because we're used to Uncle Harry coming in to talk to us, and we've heard it all before about one hundred times.
The talking stops the second Uncle Harry walks in. I don't think Professor Markham notices that he stiffens at the mock gravestones and can hardly muster a smile, because she's clapping like a maniac. Everyone in the class starts clapping too, Al looking a bit sour. I wave to Uncle Harry and he smiles at me.
"Thank you, everyone, and thank you Professor Markham," he says loudly to shut us all up, and Professor Markham goes bright red and mumbles something before tripping over her desk.
And so begins a long talk about the Final Battle and how important it is to know DADA, even the most basic spells and stuff. Al and I eventually zone out and sit doing nothing for a while. I really wish I could listen to my wiPod, but it's not allowed in class. When Uncle George discovered that iPods were the latest craze in the Muggle world he set about making a magical version, but he couldn't figure out how they worked. Eventually one of the heads at Apple talked to George and admitted to being a wizard from the American wizarding school, and told him how it worked and helped him created a range of wizard products. Now pretty much everything the Muggles have, we have. Only ours are better. Mind you, I'm a fan of Muggle music. Even the classics, like the '90s and the '00s stuff. On the holidays I found this old CD of mums and uploaded it onto my wiPod, and man, it's so awesome! There's this one song on it, though, that makes me cry. Well, a few. This artist, P!nk, has all these songs that fit exactly how I'm feeling, especially 'Who Knew'. Listen to it, seriously.
"...and before you leave, I'd like to talk to Rose Weasley." Uncle Harry says, and everyone claps a thank you before filing out, most people gazing up at him admiringly, others too shy to look at him. Professor Markham ushers them out and turns to face me, Al and Uncle Harry.
"Well, anything I can do to help?" she says almost breathlessly. I think she was a third year when the final battle happened and has had a crush on Uncle Harry ever since.
"No thank you, Sarah," he says to her. She blushes and walks away into her office, thanking him and smiling. Once she's gone Uncle Harry turns to us and smiles.
"Hey, you two. Good first day back? That was the last class of the day, right?"
"Yeah," Al says. "We had double Muggle Studies, lunch, Charms and DADA. How come you're here? I mean, I like seeing you, dad, but I saw you yesterday."
Uncle Harry laughs. "I know, Al, and I'm sorry for barging in on your first day. I actually wanted to talk to Rosie, and this was the perfect opportunity. Plus it means you guys don't have to have the talk about how hard your NEWTs are going to be, eh?"
Al smiles and they chat a bit more before he decides to go and dump his bag. "I'll see you at dinner, Rosie?"
I nod and he leaves.
"What's up, Uncle Harry?"
"Rosie, your mum asked me to speak to-"
"If she wants to talk, she can owl me or even come and visit, ok? Can you tell her that for me?"
"Fine, you caught me out. Ginny and I are worried about you. I suppose it was a bit cowardly of me to use your mum as an excuse, eh?" We smile at each other.
"I'm pretty sure I know what you want to talk about, and Al and I talked about it in Charms, so don't bother. You and Al are so alike you'd probably say the exact same things."
"Ok, ok. Just know that Ginny and I are here for you if you need to talk to us, ok?"
"See? Exactly the same thing as Al!" I punch him on the arm lightly and he laughs.
"I guess we're a predictable family, eh?"
"You Potter-Weasleys. Anyway, is it true that people thought you and Draco Malfoy were going to end up together?"
He winces. "Oh, I am going to kill Al!"
--
Should I be worried? I mean, two people have talked to me in the space of two hours....is it that obvious? It's not like it's anything serious, just macking. Anything past that is too whoreish for me unless I've been with the guy for a few months.
I should stop, but...if I do, I'll hurt. And I don't want to be in pain.
--
Finally, term one has finished and we're headed home tomorrow. Not that I'll have fun...I have so much homework I'll probably have to ask mum for help.
The boyfriend(s) issue hasn't really come up much except for halfway through the term when the Headmaster called me to his office and told me that he was considering revoking my Head-ship if I didn't start setting a better example. Also (as disturbing and horrifying as it was) Hugo set me straight. Well, rumours he'd heard. He came up to me and asked if it was true that I'd slept with two guys at once while giving another head. When does that happen? EVER?! I told him no and ran away to perform anti-blushing charms on my face, 'cos I was as red as a tomato. No joke.
My imp ruffles in front of me.
Rosie, please, I need to talk to you.
That's the one drawback of the imps: it doesn't say who you're talking to. It assumes you know.
Who is this?
Meet me on top of the astronomy tower in fifteen minutes. Please, Rose. I need this.
Fine.
I'm pretty sure I know who it is, and if it's him, I'm not in the mood. I don't want this to be a recurring thing, talking at the end of the term.
I get up there and I wait. And wait. And then Scorp pokes his blonde head around the door and I frown. I'd assumed Al was imp-ing me. Ah well.
"Scorpius. What do you want?"
He sighs, stares at his feet, then sucks in a huge breath. Looking me dead in the eye, he says "You, Rose. I want you."
I frown. "We've been through this, Sc-"
"No, Rosie, we haven't. We broke up and we've had around three awkward conversations since. Can't you see how bad we are without each other? I want to be with you and you can't stop me wanting that. It's so hard seeing you with all those dickheads and I guess that's what you wanted me to feel, so can you stop? You've made your point. Be with me. I love you, and I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you. I know I made a mistake breaking up with you. Seriously, I kick myself about it all the time. I should've realised no job is worth giving you up. Rosie, please. We're perfect for each other. What's that religion? Erm...Cullenism. I'm your Edward and you're my Bella."
Mum thought it was amazing Muggle books could create a religion. In 2011 Cullenism became a full-blown religion, mainly preaching love against all odds. If the readers of those books knew what real vampires were like, well...
"Scorp, I..." I honestly don't know what to say. I want to be with him, but how can I trust him?
"Fine, fine. I'm your Carlisle and you're my Esme. I'm willing to be patient and fair to get you back, because you're amazingly beautiful and compassionate and kind."
He looks like he's fighting with himself, and finally giving up, he takes two big steps towards me and cups my face in his hands before crashing his lips onto mine.
And I'm off in heaven. I don't know how to describe it. It's...magical.
We break apart and he looks at me nervously. "God, why didn't you just do that sooner, Scorp!? I would've said yes to getting together if you'd done that at the start of term."
He looks puzzled.
"I love you, you blonde idiot! I've been miserable since we broke up!"
Now he grins at me, and then gets down on one knee.
What. The. Fuck.
"Rosie, will you do me the honour of being my girlfriend again?" he says so seriously that I think I might faint. And then he opens a jewellery box to show me a simple silver ring with two emeralds and two rubies on the top.
"Scorp! Way to give me a heart attack, you jerk! Of course I'll be your girlfriend again! I don't need a stupid ring to prove it. Apologising was enough, but you have to realise I might not be able to trust you for a while, ok?"
Regardless, he slides it onto my middle finger and grins at me. "I get it. Love you, Rosie-pose."
"You too, Scorp."