Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Guys, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to keep up with this story! I've been extremely busy with working 50+ hours a week, two jobs, and my other story—ugh. It's ridiculous. Plus my muse suddenly decided that I needed to draw, so I've been drawing a lot lately (my deviantART page is going crazy, lolz), and my mind went on

CHAPTER 33 – FRAGMENTS OF A ONCE-SHARP MIND

In which two discoveries are made.

How do you pick up the pieces of a broken relationship?

How do you mend what was destroyed?

After all, you can't use glue on a heart, and duct tape doesn't fix a soul.

Alex… how can love me after what I've done to you? I've distanced myself, saying it was for your protection, but was it really? Or was it my own selfishness?

Lawliet… how can you trust me? After this, after our third child has likely died… after our son is kidnapped by a maniac… how can you trust me with the safety of our family? I can't even be trusted with myself.

Keiko lay despondently on the cool concrete floor, staring at the wall with her good eye (the other was swollen shut). Her tears had long since ceased, but she continued to wallow in her sorrow.

Heh… this may be the first time I've actually gone "emo" over something legitimate… Heh heh, Lawliet, I've done it! I've actually gotten upset over something right! Aren't you proud? I actually found a good reason!

Really! It's wonderful! I did something right for once! I'm okay!

A soft smile crossed her face. I'm not useless after all. I did my best—I almost saved Alex. But you'll come in and finish what I screwed up, won't you, Lawliet? You love your son. I may have royally botched up that rescue mission, but I realized what to get upset over! I did something right!

Something right…

Like little Quillish! He was something right, too, wasn't he?

But Lawliet… I did something bad…

She could see his face clearly before her, wide-eyed, wearing a soft smile that was barely different from his everyday neutral face. But the happiness in his eyes faded, and he was staring at her with sadness… then anger…

I'm sorry, Lawliet! I didn't mean to—I just wanted Alex… and Alex was all right! He's fine right now! But you'll get him and make sure he'll stay safe, right? But what about Quillish…?

No! Little Quillish is fine! Lawliet's got plenty of money! Money can buy anything, if you have enough…

Won't you save little Quillish, too, Lawliet? You can do that, right?

Because I screwed up…

Alex is fine!

I did something right!

Maybe there is a heaven… maybe Quillish went to heaven…

He's better off. So much better off than here with a stupid, idiotic, good-for-nothing mother. Quillish will be fine. Just fine. He's safe, like Alex will be…

Maybe it's Lawliet's doing—I mean, he's saved Alex, so maybe he made me come here and he knew—and now it's Lawliet's doing that Quillish is in heaven, so Lawliet saved Quillish, too!

I did something right…

The angry face softened, and a cool hand cupped her cheek. Lawliet was not angry with her—it was going to be fine…

But what if it wasn't? What if it wasn't Lawliet's doing? And now, he'll hate me! He'll hate me and banish me and I'll go away and—

It'll be good. Alex and Aimi will be safe. And Quillish is safe. Forever and ever and ever… And I'll be punished, because…

I'm a murderer…

One right thing does not outweigh something so bad… or a lifetime of bad things…

I killed Quillish. Because I didn't stand aside and wait for orders like a good little underling. I was stupid and rushed in without thinking. Even though I had good intentions of saving Alex, I killed Quillish.

I'm a murderer.

Yes… I'll go away and let my family be safe.

Were they ever my family? How could someone so good—three someones—be related to someone so evil? I'm such… an awful, wretched person… I wish that guy had just killed me when he had the chance. Wish that Kira would kill me—no, a heart attack is too quick for someone like me. I should be tortured and killed slowly, a long, painful death. Nothing justifies murder, and you should pay for it with your own life.

Unfortunately, there's nothing in this room. I don't even have the strength to stand up and throw myself off the balcony.

Then again, that's too quick, anyway, so it wouldn't matter.

"Keiko…?"

The dark one… Keiko… Is it my executioner? Please, make it hurt.

"Keiko!!"

My executioner wouldn't sound so concerned. This must be a dream. A dream…

It's a nightmare! Yes! That's it—Alex is still at home, safe, and Quillish is alive and well… This is just a nightmare! It's all okay…

TWENTY MINUTES PREVIOUSLY…

Lawliet had directed Matt to park the car in the garage—as the vehicle was recognizable as Matt's, it would be safe. However, getting into the building itself would be whole 'nother ball of wax. Before leaving the orphanage, Matt had explained to Lawliet and Scout (Lina was to be staying at Wammy's with Mello) the basic floor plan of the hotel and how the Syndicate was likely to be organized therein. After the explosion, everyone was likely to be on alert. This was not good for their purposes, but as the halls were mostly dark, they would likely be safe.

Once inside, they were to split up: Matt would go under the guise of "business as usual" and try to find out what was going on; they could report back to one another through text messages. Scout and Lawliet were to search for any signs of Alex, Keiko, or A.

"Now, if Keiko's been discovered," Matt had said over his rough sketch of the hotel's plan, "she'll probably be put in a room on the second floor. The rooms in the west wing are usually kept empty for captives, hostages, prisoners and the like. Alex might be there, too…"

"No," Lawliet had responded immediately. "A would have taken Alex into his own custody. He is targeting me, and he wants to get to me. The surest way of doing that, in his mind, would be take my son."

"Then… if Keiko's caught, wouldn't she be there, too?" Matt wondered. He cringed. "This's gonna be rough. A's living in the top floor."

"Keiko would be a danger to A, and would therefore be placed away from him." Lawliet's gray eyes were hard and resolute. "No. Alex isn't smart enough or skilled enough to break away from or fight A. Keiko is. A would know this and would likely treat Keiko as any other prisoner. The only way he would use her would be as a last resort, or if I could witness whatever was being done to her."

Silence had followed. Neither Matt nor Scout contested L's word; he knew the enemy they were facing. Moreover, he had years of expertise and experience behind him, and an IQ that was above and beyond their own. He would know.

NOW…

Lawliet, having slipped into the hotel through a back door behind the kitchens, was now making his way to the second floor of the building. Scout was currently observing traffic going through the main lobby, hidden in the shadows by the back hall, and Matt was in search of Jack Smitheson. He was acutely aware that there could easily be someone guarding Keiko's prison of a room. What he needed was a distraction… there would most likely be more than one guard posted, if at all, and his chances would be better if he could take out the remaining guard(s) without the help of an extra.

He finally reached the floor specified in the plans, and slowly crept down the hall. He peeked very cautiously down the corridor, and saw that there were but two guards.

Child's play.

Lawliet, seemingly cool and collected, and jumped in the air, purposefully creating a loud thump! as he landed. In the distance, he heard the one guard murmuring something to the other, and then, the soft footfalls of the man on the carpet as he came to investigate the noise. Lawliet readied himself for when the guard arrived…

In a few moments, the guard peered around the corner, and before he could react, Lawliet had slammed the man's gun up into his face—the weapon fired into the ceiling before being thrown several feet away—and Lawliet's palms whapped him on his temples. He was out cold.

A low curse sounded from the remaining guard, who'd heard the racket, and he came slowly down the hall. Lawliet waited until the man was almost around the corner, and came flying out from around the corner, surprising the guard into hesitation. That was his opening, and just as quickly, the second guard was down, the result of a powerful kick to his face.

After collecting the abandoned firearms (two total) carried by the guards, Lawliet found the card key for the hotel room in the second guard's breast pocket and was soon slowly opening the door. "Keiko…?"

Dread made him go cold, and his every sense went afire with adrenaline.

"Keiko!!"

There she lay on the floor, face turned to one side as she lay on her stomach. Lawliet was down on his hands and knees in an instant, staring into her face with concern. Her left eye was dark and swollen shut, and another bruise purpled her cheek. Blood stained her chin in a splattered kind of way. Her left arm was entirely dark with blue and black patches. Her hands were bloody and bruised, and splinters stuck out from her fingertips, which were dark with what might've been dirt; her fingernails were ragged and torn.

Lawliet could hear her ragged breath, see her eyes occasionally fluttering open. Her expression flickered constantly from contented to feared to heartbroken and back again; incoherent phrases could be heard as she mumbled constantly.

"Keiko… tenshi…" Lawliet placed his hand on the side of her face, gently, so as to direct her vision to him. She didn't seem to be registering his presence, which worried him.

A faint giggle came from between her swollen lips. "Just a dream… okay… 'vrything's 'kay…"

She'd snapped.

She'd finally lost it, and for real, this time.

Lawliet felt his heart drop into his stomach. A cold chill ran down his spine. "Tenshi, can you hear me?!"

"Lawliet! You're here," she murmured, smiling happily. "They're safe, they're both safe. It's only a nightmare. I'm okay."

"Keiko, can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you."

Lawliet thought of pinching her to convince her that she was, in fact, awake, but could see no place where he could do so without hurting her further. His wits, forgotten for the past few moments, returned with the weight of heavy dread. She's been beaten nearly to death. She could very well be in so much pain that her body just doesn't register it anymore. And with the lack of pain, she could very well choose not to believe that what she's gone through even happened, for there isn't evidence of it that she can see.

If Lawliet had been furious before, he was livid, now. Seething with rage at the ones who'd ripped his family away from him instead of attacking him outright like they should've! It was low—beyond low, it was savage and brutal. Neither Keiko nor Alex had anything to do with A's vendetta toward him; what had they done to deserve such punishment?!

How could it have been that less than twenty-four hours previously, he and Keiko had been safe in their room, making love and just enjoying one another's presence…? Less than seven hours ago, they'd been looking at the image of their unborn son in the doctor's office. And now…

It was too sudden. Too surreal.

His mind begged for him to escape this vicious reality. It couldn't be happening—wasn't happening. No, it couldn't be. It was too…

Too real.

It was happening, and there was little he could do about Keiko's injuries. What he could do was to get her out of the building and to a hospital.

But what about Alex…? Probably being fed all sorts of hideous lies by A himself, and likely scared witless.

What about little unborn Quillish…? If Keiko was beaten this badly, she probably had been punched or kicked in the stomach at some point, and even if not, she would need medical attention. The blood on her chin was likely the result of internal bleeding. If that was true, then Quillish would be in danger, as well.

Lawliet swore blackly and curled one hand into a tight fist, drawing blood from where his fingernails cut into his skin. That tiny bit of pain brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes and peered down at Keiko.

"Why d'you say that?" she wondered in a half-slurred tone. "You don't swear."

He exhaled slowly. "Keiko, we need to leave."

"Okay. I don't like nightmares."

"The way out of this nightmare is to get out of this building. I will carry you."

"That's strange," she said in a soft voice. "Usually you just have to wake up…" But she smiled suddenly. "Lawliet, I did something right!"

Do I even want to know what her insane logic has made her to believe…? "Please, if you can, roll over. I must pick you up." Very slowly, Lawliet helped her to turn onto her left side—

Instantly, Keiko's face contorted in pain and she hissed. A faint whimper escaped her lips. "It hurts… make it stop, Lawh…!"

It was all he could do to keep from panicking. Lawliet felt his heart pounding wickedly in his chest, and his adrenaline felt like it was on constant release. "As soon as I can, tenshi. Be strong; I'm here. I'll take care of you." He reflected with a tiny twinge of guilt that it was first time he'd said such words as "I'll take care of you." Why hadn't he said that so much oftener? Why hadn't he held her tenderly in his arms each second he could spare? Every last moment was so precious… and yet… only now was he realizing just how precious his time with her had been. He'd not taken it entirely for granted… just…

In just a moment, Keiko was cradled carefully in his arms, curled against his chest. Her fingers grasped at the material of his white shirt, but her grip was too weak to keep the fabric in her hand. Lawliet fought off the urge to kill something by telling himself that it would be more profitable to wait until he came face-to-face with A himself to unleash that particular desire.

"Law… liet… is this… really… really a dream…?" Keiko gasped. Crystal tears melded her eyelashes into sloppy clumps.

His throat went dry. He wanted to tell her that it was… "No. It's very real." His head spun just a little as he said those words, as if to attempt to convince him otherwise, and Lawliet clamped his teeth together tightly. He turned toward the door…

Bloody smears of handprints and fist-marks painted the back of the door, and he guessed she'd initially been either furious or upset enough to take her mixed emotions out on the door itself, at the expense of her own hands. Near the bottom in tiny letters read "RIP." The sight made his insides go cold… his legs felt like cottage cheese, unable to hold themselves together.

No—get up. Keep going. Get out of here… get… out…

At least get Keiko to the car. Scout can take her to the hospital. You can stay and find Alex.

"I will get you out of here."

"Thank you…"

Scout checked her cell phone at the feel of the soundless vibration against her leg. It was from L. "Found keiko, scout meet me at car asap."

She nodded noiselessly and stood slowly. She just had to make her way back to the lobby and down the stairs; it would not take long. But moving out into the open made her vulnerable and able to be spotted. She would have to be careful. There was that one man moving around, presumably a guard.

As long as she timed everything properly, she should be all right.

In just a minute, she was able to venture out into the lobby.

Her mind returned to the text message. If L was wanting Scout to meet him at the car, there was presumably something wrong with her. But what? Was she beaten? Unconscious? Keiko was a normally tough woman, and could hold her own in a fight. Her intelligence allowed her to find various holes in the enemies' attacks, or she could use her surroundings to her advantage.

Scout frowned. Unless she'd gone up against a truly seasoned street fighter… if she'd gone up against someone who knew what they were doing, even she might've gone down.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't think to look before turning the corner. Thwump! Scout ran smack into a muscular man of medium stature. "Sorry," she muttered, but she froze.

It couldn't be…

After nearly six years of absence from the streets, his presence was unmistakable. Her first instinct was to get away; she needed to help L and Keiko. Her second instinct…

…was fear.

She stared up into the man's ice-blue eyes, which held her in place as effectively as iron chains would have. Paralyzed, Scout could do nothing under his imprisoning gaze.

It wasn't often that Scout was afraid. When she was… well… it was always merited. She never was afraid without a damn good reason.

The pause lasted an eternity, wherein they both stared at one another, him, down, and her, up. The air fizzled with electricity that coiled its way into Scout's bloodstream, sparking her from the inside, melting her stomach with panic. How long would it be before she burst into flames? How long would it take her to explode?

"Shea?!"

Her mouth was dryer than the Sahara. She swallowed heavily, trying to find her mind, which had conveniently vanished in the heat of the moment. "T-Two-Bit…"

TO BE CONTINUED…