"I'm leaving!" I called out to my father as i picked up my schoolbag and left the sushi restuarant. I straightened my shirt before I began to walk down the street. I'd done some careful timing and I turned to look behind me. I had to smile at my success.
Okay, I might not be that clever at maths, but today I had timed everything right. I'd heard I could do maths if I put my mind to it. For him, I'd do anything.
Hayato Gokudera. God, why did you make someone so amazing, yet cause him to act as if I was only an accident waiting to happen? I didn't even know why I was attracted to him. A childish crush you could say.
As he approached I smiled cheerily at him, but inside I was frowning. I hated how he'd almost always have one of those cancer sticks in his mouth. I may be clueless on a few things, but I knew that cigarettes would considerably affect his lifespan.
"Yo, Gokudera!" I called and flinched; his green eyes glared at me as if my own stare penetrated his personal space. Sod personal space! I could stare at whoever I wanted. I wasn't one to voice my own opinions so strongly.
"Idiot," he muttered and continued walking. I waited until he was level with me before I walked alongside him.
"You know..." I breathed in and braced myself for an insult, "You really shouldn't smoke"
"What the fuck?" As predicted, the Italian shot me another glare, "Why do you even care, Baseball idiot"
"Well..." I scratched the back of my head nervously as my amber eyes looked sadly to him, and my hand subconsciously placed itself on his shoulder, I knew I could end up facing several of his fireworks but I was genuinly worried about him, "We're part of this Mafia game together. If you died, you wouldn't be able to play," I slowly took my hand back.
"Idiot," he scoffed and stopped walking. I followed his glance to the store. He stood quietly before giving me a smirk, "Wait out here."

I didn't find out what he had brought in that sotre right away, and Gokudera had reverted back to his usual self. Again, I asked myself; 'Why do I even like him?' It was common sense I'd be shortening my own lifespan if I was ever to tell him how I felt.
Being like this was painful. I longed to be the receiver for one of his smiles, and even wished I was in Tsuna's shoes. If I was the boss in this game would I earn myself some wanted respect?
In class, I'd spent my time asleep. Well, part of it. I soon woke up, and slowly lifted my head up to look to Gokudera. I gave a small smile, and hoped no one noticed. I wonder if the teacher had noticed? He asked me to answer a question on the board, and I put more thought into it than normal. Why? To impress Gokudera. I failed. I knew that I'd always be a loser to him.

Up on the roof at Lunchtime, I found out what he had brought from the store. Tsuna had been kept back in class so it was just us two; it seemed so surreal. I swear one of my dreams had started like this, and I didn't dare think of the ending. That had been a pleasant dream... but no one needs to know about that. Now, back to Gokudera. He was leaning over the safety rail, his shirt sticking out of his trousers. Occasionally the wind blew against him and lifted the shirt, revealing his white thighs. I couldn't help but stare.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" he growled as he looked to me, and I blinked.
"What's that?" I asked, referring to the stick coming from his mouth. I tilted my head and smiled as I did so. At first, I had thought it was another cigarette, but a second look told me I was wrong.
He reached up and pulled it from his mouth, "A strawberry lollipop," he smirked and gave it a lick.
'Oh God'
"Why?" I played dumb, and tried to rid the image of his licking the lolly from my mind, but it seemed to stick. It became even harder as I noticed his cheeks had turned a slight pink with blush. I suddenley knew why I liked him so much. Almost. It was so cute to see his cheeks like that. It was a pleasant, and different side to the Gokudera who would willingly try to 'bomb' me. "You said that our family... earlier..." he tried to find the words, and I understood him. It took all of my effort not to confess to this cute Italian right there and then. I didn't want to confess on a school roof. No, I'd wait.
Gokudera put his lollipop back in his mouth and went back to looking over the side. I promised myself that I'd tell him one day.

That was nine years ago. I still haven't told him, but Valentine's tomorrow. I'm going to tell him then. I smile happily to myself as I climb into my bed. Right now, it feels empty. I hope that tomorrow will change that.