DISCLAMER: {Bender "WOOO!! WOO." noise heard in background} I don't own any of these characters. Except for the random vampire extra, that guy's alllllll mine.

{Eclectic1 smirks at the random vampire extra hogtied in the corner, slapping a cat-o'-nine-tails against her open palm}

Random Vampire Extra: Oh golly it's dark in here……I've tried texting out for help with my toes, but it seems they cut my phone off when I died….or uhhhm, undied...?

Eclectic1: WHAT WAS THAT??! {Slap; slap}

Random Vampire Extra: NOTHING DISOBEDIENT!!.....anyone reading please send for help ….it's cold in here….

Integra rolled over, laying Wartime Strategy: Series VI on the nightstand. She wanted to read another page or two, but it had been a very, very long day. She glanced at the wall across the room and its deceptively impenetrable stone surface. Integra's last few conscious thoughts before sleep overtook her always consisted of Alucard. Did he ever enter her room at night, slipping through brick like dust dances through slithers of reflecting sunlight? It was all so easy for Alucard. To him laws of physics and gravity were incomprehensible, like an unfortunate joke that almost everyone but him had to abide by.

What was she so worried about anyway? He had already seen her in the most…. intricate of situations. Yet even in the midst of passion, Integra kept a level head. She never revealed something so intimate as the vulnerable expressions and gestures of slumber.

Sir Integra sighed and rolled onto her back, hands behind her head. She looked up at her ceiling, and gasped.

A man was hanging directly above her bed, clinging to the ceiling in the effortless fashion known only by the undead. She only had enough time to feel self-embarrassment for allowing this creature to sneak in. Even with their superior speed and stealth, she knew what to look for.

Then he was upon her, teeth seeming to reflect impending disaster. She screamed for Alucard. Luckily Integra's hands were in a perfect position to reach for possible retribution. She felt the oh-so-comforting hilt of her knife blessed by the Vatican under several layers of pillow, and met steel with tender neck flesh just in the nick of time.

The vampire screamed like the cursed creature it was and jerked backwards. A stream of crimson spurted from the hole Integra had left in its neck, bloody graphitti decorating Integra's white nightgown and seeping into the part between her breasts. He was severely injured now, that much was certain, but she knew that it still wasn't enough to kill the creature.

She needed the vampire's heart.

Then his eyes opened at the last sensation he would ever feel: blinding pain. The room grew several degrees darker as Sir Integra witnessed Alucard's fingers, then his entire hand exit through the front of the creature's chest at an impossibly fast speed. The creature's heart turned to little more than mush, with a last gurgling wail he exploded into blood and naught. More dark liquid sputtered onto Integra's face and clothing. Several drops hit Alucard's arm and chest, a few thick enough to begin a slow journey down his black leather jacket.

Integra's eyes widened a notch. He was wearing that outfit, the one with leather straps that went vertically across his chest, and tight leather pants. She watched the outline of his hipbones slide under a thin layer of material as he walked around the foot of the bed.

He cocked his head and grinned, appearing both malicious and entertained.

"You called, my Master?"

He clapped several slow, methodical times then performed a very regal bow, straight black hair brushing the floor.

"And to think," He mused, "I was getting so bored with this particular evening. Then you gave me a wonderful, bloody performance. Delightful!"

He chuckled, low and deep. Integra shivered, hoping he didn't notice. Best not to let a vampire get the edge in this sort of situation.

Integra shot her servant an icy glare, "I don't know what you're so exalted over Alucard. I'm very curious about how a vampire of such low caliber was allowed passage this deep into the castle. He was a mere fledgling; I could have finished him off myself."

Alucard appeared thoughtful. "We were having trouble with a few puny fledglings earlier this evening and were somewhat distracted. I suppose a particularly sneaky one could have slipped through the cracks."

Integra's eyes turned to slits, "RIDICULO-"

"OR," Alucard hovered closer towards the bed, "I could have allowed it to happen, a fledgling find his way into your bedroom while you were still awake."

Sir Integra fumed, how COULD he? What twisted game did he dare play-

"He posed absolutely no threat to you, and as you said you could easily have finished him off yourself."

Alucard leaned in closer, "And maybe I was getting bored, and yearned to see you covered with the blood of a fresh kill." He pronounced the word blood like one would run velvet across a lover's back. Integra shivered again, realizing that he probably noticed that time.

Her servant's eyes glinted with two of his unquenchable desires: lust and murder. He sat on the bed, body against hers. He smiled, fangs glistening in a terrifying and cogent manner.

"And I will make it up to you now, Sir Integra my master."

She sighed, realizing that it made her breasts heave when she felt them press against the cold, wet blood slowly drying on her shirt. She glanced down at them. They were covered in blood. There was no way around this now; sending him away would only frustrate them both.

"You conniving bastard." Integra looked straight into those cold killer's eyes, expression direly serious.

"Alucard, I order you to clean me off."

He paused for a split second, eyes widening. Then he quelled with laughter, throwing his head back. Although he had won this small battle, she enjoyed the fact that he had obviously thought for a moment that she was going to send him away.

He grinned, fires of passion burning lethally behind crimson eyes. Alucard leaned over his master's body, long hair engulfing her form on either side. His tresses always brought the aroma of burnt incense, something reminiscent of a fruitful and forgotten past. Although she knew he would never harm her (the vampire was bound to her in more ways than loyalty alone) it still felt like death was coming every time he loomed above her, even when her body was his top priority.

Alucard leaned above her chest, eyes still looking directly into her own. His tongue slid under the top of her gown between her breasts, noticeably longer than that of a human's. He caught the top gown button in his teeth, popping if off. Integra moaned, hands grabbing at a piece of Alucard's black locks. She tugged. He jerked back, appearing disdainful.

"Master, there is no hope of saving your white gown. Saving your flesh from this bloody situation, on the other hand…"

He caught the second button with one long nail, jerking downwards and popping all of the remaining restrictions in one fell swoop. Cold air entertained her more sensitive spots, causing Integra to repress a strong chill. She partially sat up to meet Alucard nearly face-to-face, who was now straddling her.

He felt something metallic, hard and cold slide under the front of his jacket. "Do you REALLY think that I would allow such hideously uneven playing ground, Alucard?" She smirked, glasses glinting from the room's one light source, a small lamp on her night stand.

She pulled the knife held under his clothing straight up, tearing through Alucard's Jacket. It flopped open precariously, a few straps still attempting to hold it together.

"I would expect nothing less, master." He took her breast in one hand, licking the tip. She moaned, lowering herself back onto the bed. Teeth brushed her nipple, and Integra took his left hand into hers, lowering it to her mouth. She bit, as hard as she could. Anything less would have felt no better to the vampire than a speck of sand.

His body shuddered against hers, and a pleasurable noise escaped his lips. She could feel his increasing pleasure pushing firmly against her lower stomach, still encased in his pants. She twisted upwards on the bed to feel him press against more sensitive spots of her anatomy. He licked wet trails down her chest and neck, ingesting the remaining spots of crimson.

She couldn't take this much longer. For all her good points, Sir Integra did not think of herself as a very patient woman, especially where her own indulgence was concerned. She reached down with one hand, fingers sliding along Arucard's ribcage and stomach to find the top of his zipper. She pulled the zipper down, a sigh of relief escaping his throat as he was finally released.

As Alucard's controlled ebbed, his master could feel detached eyes watching from several directions, existing in a darkness leaking from the expanses of Alucard's soul that was thick enough to choke on. The light was swallowed in darkness, its presence slowly clotting the room.

"Are you ready for me?" He was pressed against her body, cool and hard, tongue flicking against her earlobe.

"A-always," she barely managed to choke out a single word.

Every time Alucard entered her, she knew death without dying. She understood the torment, the revelation of everything wonderful about life and the final sweet release of death. He was cold inside of her, sending the chill of the undead in sweet pangs throughout her entire body with every hip twist and thrust. One of many things she would never admit to him was that a human man would have been beyond pathetic in comparison. These heights of sensation were beyond unreachable between two mortals.

She scratched down his back, gripping anything that felt real. The darkness finally swelled over them, drinking up every inch of their bodies in a thousand severed eyes. It was like a physical presence, like slick silk enveloping her entire body. She found Alucard's parted lips and sucked, secretly terrified that his darkness would enter her permanently if allowed entrance into her mouth.

Integra was close to spilling over with sensation, every molecule of her being was enveloped in pure pleasure, pure feeling. She knew her servant would not allow her to come until the moment that he did, he kept his rhythm at just the right pace to make sure of that. She knew what it would take, what would release him.

She grabbed the knife, forgotten in a pile of sheets and slid it across his back. He dug his nails into her bottom, pressing himself more tightly inside. She gasped, running the knife in teasing trails up and down his back. He knew what she wanted to hear.

She felt his breath against her skin, lips upon her own, "Please…my master."

She dug the knife into her servant's shoulder, shooting a jolt of the most exquisite agony throughout his entire body, enveloping Alucard in enough pain to finally push him over the edge. He cried out, spilling relief into Integra's body. She came in the same instant, body convulsing, depleting sensations built up to the point of near madness.

The dark around them seemed to swirl into an invisible sea, slowly disappearing as if it were never there to begin with. Neither one spoke, Integra slowly pulled the knife out and dropped it onto an already-ruined carpet.

Breathing heavily, Alucard turned his head towards Sir Integra.

"You always let me in ….isn't that a sign of somewhat….ineffectual control?"

She smiled lazily, turning her head to be nose-to-nose with him. "Perhaps…but am I not merely allowing you to show your utmost devotion to my own methods? You always come inside, and when you do…." She licked the tip of his nose, a brusque gesture, "there is no way out until I allow it."

He sighed, heavily content with everything at this one moment in time.

"And so it is, Sir Integra…my master."