I am so going to Hell. I was sat at church this morning, listening to the most boring sermon I've ever heard and thinking about the next chapter to my fic Karaoke when this little plot bunny jumped into my head. I just couldn't get rid of it and all the ideas of how it was going to work came at me as we were doing the prayers for communion. I am so sorry if this idea offends anyone, after all some things should be sacred but the plot bunny demanded I write it. I hope you enjoy and I've pretty much come to terms with going to Hell, as long as they have yaoi I'll be fine XD

The hymn does not belong to me, it was written by Charles Wesley and I make no profit from using it. (Just to be on the safe side, everyone's gone disclaimer nuts!)

Ed's Christmas Quickie

"Remind me why we're here again."

"Because Roy, it's Christmas and it's nice to occasionally add a little culture to our lives." Ed looked at Roy with his golden eyes and dared him to comment further.

Ok, so it was a little odd that they were at a church, and the fact that they were there for a choir service was just baffling but Ed had decided that a little bit of culture and joining in with the local community was a part of what Christmas meant.

"Ed, you do realise that we could be at home right now finding fun ways to keep warm." Roy smiled slyly down at his blond companion and moved his hand to the younger mans knee. Ed gasped slightly but not enough to be heard. Roy's hand moved further up Ed's leg eventually coming to rest on the young mans awakening erection.

"Will you behave" Ed ground out through gritted teeth, batting the dark haired mans hand away. He was so glad that they had chosen to sit at the back of the church away from the rest of the congregation.

"Fine" Roy pulled his hand away, crossed his arms and proceeded to sulk at the rejection. "How much longer is this gonna last anyway?"

"Another half hour" Ed informed his rather childish partner. He looked sideways at the sulking man and smiled. He was so cute when he pouted, Ed almost felt sorry for the man having to wait, he could see Roy's obvious need. It was technically his own fault; after all he was the one who started it. Just because Ed was managing to control himself for once didn't mean he was responsible for Roy.

But then again, they were well away from the rest of the congregation and they did have time…No he couldn't, it was a church. Ed's internal debate ended when he heard Roy gasp rather loudly, he suddenly realised that his own hand had taken away the choice moving all by itself to cup Roy and rub gently.

Roy glared at Ed while simultaneously trying to push himself against the hand rubbing him.

"What are you doing?" Roy ground out as coherently as he could considering the circumstances.

"I'm saying thank you for coming to this" Ed replied sweetly, making the decision and slipping gently off of the pew. After all, he was already a sinner, may as well go all the way. He slowly manoeuvred himself to kneel in front of Roy and quietly undid his belt buckle, popped his button and slid down his zip.

"Ed, we can't. We're in a church." Roy rather pointlessly pointed out.

"And…your point is?" Ed asked as he slowly slipped his hand inside the now exposed boxers.

"My point Edward" Roy ground out "Is that this is sacred ground, you know, God's house."

"That didn't stop you a few minutes ago" Ed's fingers rubbed softly at the black hairs at the base of Roy's erection. Roy sighed contently as Ed delved deeper but jumped when the music started playing. Ed stifled a snicker at Roy's guilty reaction and smirked up at Roy.

"Go on Roy, you have to stand when you sing" Roy's death glare amused him to no end; it would mean trouble when all this was over but Ed just couldn't seem to care.

Glad that the pew in front was tall enough to hide his lower half from the rest of the church, Roy slowly stood and shivered slightly at the cool air suddenly ghosting over his lower half as Ed carefully slid down his trousers and boxers.

"Hark the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King!" The congregation sang and Roy almost chocked on the last word as Ed slowly ran his tongue down the vein on Roy's 'problem'. His lower half jerked trying to get some friction but Ed denied it, pulling away and softly kissing the tip that was slowly turning purple.

"Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled" He was actually quite impressed with how well Roy was managing to cope, if it was him he'd be a puddle on the floor by now. Slowly he wrapped his hand around the base of Roy's penis and pulled gently, eliciting a low moan that was lost with the music. He moved forward and took just the tip into his mouth and ran his tongue over the slit, tasting the precum gathered there.

"Joyful, all ye nations rise, join the triumph of the skies, with the angelic host proclaim: Christ is born in Beth…haaaa…lehem" Ed was sucking on him like he was a candy cane. He was really struggling to keep up with the song but people had already looked back at him, probably wondering what all the little noises were about so he had to look slightly natural. He closed his eyes and savoured the feel of Ed slowly taking in more of his length. He'd always been impressed with how much Ed could fit in his mouth.

"Hark! The herald angels sing, glory to the newborn King!" as the first verse ended he could feel himself slipping further and further into incoherence. Ed was a master at blow jobs and he wasn't leaving anything out. The warm heat surrounding him felt so inviting and he slowly moved his hips forward, careful to make it seem natural to anyone who may be watching. Ed readily swallowed him and sucked, it was nearly Roy's undoing. He really wanted to loose control and simply mouth fuck the blond man knelt so seductively in front of him but given their current location it wasn't really an option.

"Christ by highest heav'n adored, Christ the everlasting Lord! Late in time behold Him come, Offspring of a Virgin's womb" Roy tasted so good right now and the fact that this was so forbidden was making it that much sweeter. He could feel Roy's need to just move and force his dick down his throat and some part of Ed wanted him to do it. He loved when Roy grabbed his hair and pulled as he rammed his dick in and out of his mouth but this was sweet torture too. He knew Roy would make him pay later, with any luck repeatedly, but this was now and he wanted to taste more of his man. He wanted his man to feed him.

"Veiled in flesh the Godhead see, Hail the incarnate Deity, Pleased as man with man to dwell, Jesus, our Emmanuel" The words were just a blur, all that mattered was Ed's mouth as he moved back and forth over him. What he couldn't deep throat he pumped with his small hands. Roy knew there was a reason God had made Ed with a huge mouth and only small hands and this was that reason. It was pure bliss and he could feel himself drawing closer to release. He could feel the coil starting in his stomach, waiting for Ed to set it free.

"Hark! The herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King!" Roy released into Ed's mouth, it came as a shock at first but then it wasn't like Roy could have warned him. Still, he didn't miss a drop, instead milking Roy dry. He had to bring his hands up to steady Roy when he felt the man nearly collapse. When he was sure that Roy could hold himself steady he pulled his boxers back up, making sure to graze his fingers along Roy's now flaccid member enjoying the feeling of it twitch slightly in response.

"Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace! Hail the Son of Righteousness! Light and life to all He brings, Ris'n with healing in His wings" Roy was no longer singing along, there was no way he could after the orgasm he'd just had. He mouthed the words and fought the urge to just sit down and fall asleep. He could feel Ed lifting his trousers and doing them up and he supposed he could have helped but he just didn't have it in him.

"Mild He lays His glory by, Born that man no more may die. Born to raise the sons of earth, Born to give them second birth" Ed had finished sorting Roy out and slowly turned and lifted himself above the pews height, checking to see if anyone was watching. When he didn't see anyone looking his way he pushed himself upright and stood next to Roy looking as innocent as he could. He felt Roy place his hand in his and squeeze gently. He returned the favour and smiled lovingly at his partner.

"Wait till I get you home" Roy whispered in his lovers ear.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Ed asked, winking at Roy.

"Definitely a promise" Roy returned the wink with an added pinch to the ass for emphasis. They were going to have so much fun when they got home.

"Hark! The herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King!"