Stupidity at its Best (A Naruto Story) Ch 1

Okay! Since I finished Forever Rainbows, I decided to start another fanfiction! I know you're all so happy. This one I actually thought up a long time ago but I was just too busy to put it down on paper. I hope you don't hate it with a fiery passion! Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I am neither male nor Asian nor do I speak Japanese…well. I can stumble through maybe two words XD

Alright…I'll admit. I'm really quiet stupid. No, no, don't try to persuade me that I'm not. I know for a fact that I am. You'll get my point in just a second. (I'm also clueless and a notorious rambler)

It was a rainy day in the big city. I sigh as I walk and run a hand through my short black hair. There was one streak of red always hanging in my face. I blow it away with a short breath and glare. The red streak was courtesy of my friend Yuki. She'd suggested I get it one night while I was at a party. I wasn't exactly drunk and I wasn't exactly sober. It sounded like a great idea at the time. Now it wouldn't freakin' come OUT! My inner was yelling at Yuki and me while I pulled at it. I probably looked stupider than usual. But when you're me you don't really care the odd looks you get after a while. (See? I warned you that I ramble!)

I was by the bay, my favorite spot. I stop to look out over the stormy water and glance down to see a piece of driftwood.

Only it wasn't driftwood. I double take and swear loudly when I see what it actually is.

A person doing the dead man's float. Never a good thing. Especially when you can't swim very well.

I look around to see if there are any other people to help me get this guy out of the water but, of course, there aren't. Just my luck. I fling off my shoes in what could have been a fit of joy but wasn't. Driftwood-person-thing was still drifting there, the might-be body swaying in the tide.

"God help me," I say under my breath before I dive down into the water gracelessly. I hit the top of it with a smack which made me groan as soon as my face broke the surface again. Good GAWD that hurt! I blow bubbles through my nose and try to hold the scream of pain in. "Thanks for the help, God," I grumble as I swim over to the 'driftwood'. I poke it, making sure I didn't jump down into the freezing water for nothing. It definetly was a human. Was. The word strikes fear into my heart.

I pull the body out of the water and crawl on to the beach, battered by the waves. The body rolls over and reveals a swirled orange mask along with a soaked black cloak with red clouds. Something in the back of my mind makes me think I've seen that before but I take no notice.

"Hey, heeeeeeeeey wakey-wakey!" I say poking the body. "Up and at 'em!" I pick up a gloved hand and find a pulse, surprisingly strong for someone doing the dead man's float. I'm tempted to grab the person's shoulders and shake them screaming "WAKE THE HELL UP!" but my memories of nursing school (before I ran out screaming at the sight of blood) tell me that would just give him brain damage. I sigh a little and pull out my cell phone, dialing those three numbers that would change my life.

"Nine-one-one what's your emergency?" The perky operator asks from the other line.

"I just pulled a guy…I think it's a guy… out of the bay. He was doing the dead man's float but he has a pulse and won't wake up. Is there anything else I can do while I wait for the ambulance?" I ask all business.

"No, just make sure you keep him warm. Where are you by the bay?" She asks sounding surprised.

"Behind the pet store," I say and she keeps talking to me as the sound of the siren draws closer. The two paramedics jump out of the van and pick up the guy.

"Would you like to come with? You've just saved this guy's life," One says closing one of the back doors. I nod and he helps me into the back before the van screams off. The one that was nice to me, Hiroshi, pulls off his mask and puts his ear near the guy's mouth.

"Still breathing, but it's faint," He says looking at the white medic patch over his left eye. "Other vitals are pretty decent; this is one lucky guy," I nod numbly and can't help but feel awful for the unconscious man in front of me. Guilt gnaws at me and I wiggle my bare toes.

Kuso I think darkly and glare down at my naked piggies. They wiggle and I glare at them.

Wiggle. Glare.

Wiggle. Glare.

Wiggle. Glare.

Wiggle. Glare.

"What are you doing?" Hiroshi asks looking at my toes.

"Glaring at my naked piggies," I say then realize how childish and stupid that sounds. I push up my glasses and blush. "Sorry,"

"Its fine, it's cute," He says and I blush harder. "You remind me of my niece,"

"How old is she?"

"Three,"

Kuso "Really? How sweet," I say mentally kicking myself.

"Yeah, she looks a lot like you," He says and I blush even harder. "Hey…he's waking up," The guy I saved opens the eye not coved by the medic patch and blinks.

"Where is Tobi?" He asks before making a frantic move to pull his mask back on. Hiroshi helps him and frowns.

"Who's Tobi?" He asks watching the guy.

"Tobi is Tobi!" He sounds a little frustrated.

"I'm guessing that he is Tobi," I say and he gasps.

"Tobi knows pretty girl-chan!" He says happily.

God I think looking up at the ceiling. Why must you hate me?