Me: Gee, Lyons, it sure was convenient that Liberty Prime inexplicably went from not functioning at all to 100% operational just in time for this mission. In fact, he was so effective, I didn't even have to do anything and probably would have been vaporized in his crossfire had I tried. Also, didn't you find it strange that Autumn decide to pull out his gun and try to kill me even though he was hopelessly outnumbered and I already demonstrated being able to kill his fully armored guards? Then again, I watched him die in this very room a while ago and he came back. Then the military base he was interrogating me in exploded and he came back again, so perhaps death isn't really an issue for this guy. Still, I thought I'd be able to reach some sort of verbal solution with him, since I tend to be good at that, but oh well. Anyways, I guess everything's swell now, right?

Lyons: Actually, for various clunky-plotline reasons this whole place is going to explode any minute if we don't activate Project Purity right now.

Me: That's a strange coincidence considering we just got here, but whatever, it doesn't sound like such a big deal.

Lyons: Well actually, the control area is flooded with lethal radiation; whoever goes in won't make it out alive. It's either you or me.

Me: There must be another way.

Lyons: There isn't.

Me: But… this is a Fallout game, there's supposed to be another way.

Lyons: Ha-ha-ha, you silly, silly person. If you've gotten this far then you already know this isn't really a Fallout game.

Me: Dammit, you're right; I guess I'll jus- wait! Of course! Why didn't I think of it before? Fawkes! You're immune to radiation, you said so yourself and even demonstrated it when you got the GECK. Looks like everything will work out ok after all.

Fawkes: Erm, sorry man, no can do. Destiny and all… you know how it is.

Me: Um… but you already did this for me once. Then you followed me across the wasteland for an indefinite period of time, risking your life over and over again and taking countless bullets in my defence… and now you'd rather watch me die than walk about six feet from here and push four buttons?

Fawkes: Yup.

Me: So even though it would only take three seconds and wouldn't harm you at all, you'd rather I went in and died a completely unnecessary death?

Fawkes: Pretty much.

Me: …you jackass. Never mind you. Charon will do it. Not only are ghouls immune to radiation, they actually are healed by it and find it pleasant. And even if he wasn't, I have his contract, so he literally can't refuse any request I make. There is absolutely no way this won't work.

Charon: Yeah, you'd think that wouldn't you… but I'm not gonna do it. I'd shoot myself in the face if you asked, but this? Nah.

Me: But… that… makes… no… sense… Ugh! Look, the panel is only about six feet away, can't I use a broomstick handle or something!

All: Nope.

Me: …

Me: You know what? Screw it. Screw all you guys. This game is so stupid it's not worth living in.

Me: [walks in, enters code, dies]