Well, let me rant longer that usually do before I start this chapter. First thing I want to say is that they have the Kirby anime on 4kids again. It's the dub but hey, Kirby hasn't been on air since what? 2006? Anyhoos, if you want to watch it it's on around 11:00 on 4Kids TV. Kapeesh?

Also, I'm doing this remix in the dub because it's a lot easier to make fun of

And you might want to grab some popcorn and get comfortable, this chapter is long.

Also, let it be said that I do not hate the Kirby anime, dub or not. This is purely Lynn's character.

To Ivy Starr because she is awesome like that.

Kirby Comes to Cappy Town

First thing I want to tell you is; and this is in all honesty… I hate the Kirby anime. It just bugs me. The lines are overly clichéd, the characters are either total Mary Sues, complete idiots, or, in the case of that one girl who hangs out with Kirby, well, she bosses everyone around and acts like she knows everything.

I'll just start out at the beginning so you actually have an idea about why I'm ranting about how much I hate Kirby.

My name is Lynn Caroline Edwards. I'm 14, and I am never going outside on Friday 13th again. Stupid superstitions.

I walked outside on this particular Friday and grabbed my bike. I was not heading to school if that's what you're thinking. We had the day off for some reason that I couldn't keep track of. Well, I just decided to go to the mall due to the fact that our computer was busted and both my parents were hogging the only TV in our house.

So, amazingly, I manage to get to the mall without killing myself and lock my bike up on the bike rack. I shoulder the doors open and walk to the center of Peru, Indiana's seemingly only mall. They have a fountain there that you'll see people throw money in every five seconds. I decided to make my donation, just for the fun of it. You have to admit, things like that are addicting.

I flip the coin into the air and make a wish in my head just like when I was six

I'm bored. I wish something interesting would happen today.

…My first mistake…

"Hey Lynn! Over here!" someone called my name. It was my buddy, Lila.

"What's up?" I asked as we passed some Disney related store and walked into a sporting goods store

"I need to find some lacrosse stuff. You wouldn't mind giving me a hand, would you?" I looked at me with the puppy dog stare that would make me do anything for her.

"Ugh. Fine. But then, after this, can we go get a giant pretzel?"

"Whatever."

So we crossed the sporting goods store and finally made it to an almost invisible section that had some lacrosse stuff.

Lila threw me a stick with a net on the end. (You'd think that with her talking about the sport every moment for the past 2 years I would have remembered what this stuff was called)

"Come on! Pass the ball to me!" she shouted, positioning herself outside one of the changing rooms.

I shoved the tiny ball into the net and aimed it best I could at her. When I threw the ball (in a manner of speaking) it turns out I had overshot at it flew over her head and into the changing room stall. I heard a crashing noise.

…My second mistake…

It seemed the entire mall seemed to quiet. Lila and I dropped out sticks or whatever they were called and ran as fast as we could out of the mall, I unlocked my bike and Lila and I rode off before anyone even knew what happened.

-Riding home-

"Duuuuuude…" Lila groaned, pedaling up beside me, "You are screwed!"

"Am not!" I contradicted, "We got out before anyone saw who it was that broke the changing room mirror!"

"Not by the Man!" Lila explained (I forgot to mention that Lila speaks Hippie lingo), "By the supernatural forces of bad luck!"

"Don't tell me you believe in that crap!" I laughed, "And besides, why would it make any difference now?"

Lila rode into her driveway and turned her head to look back at me, "Happy Friday the 13th."

As I passed her, I shouted back, "You so got that from the Jason movies!"

…

I opened the door to my house, I plopped onto the couch, feeling physically and emotionally drained. I found the TV remote and clicked it on. The TV turned on mid-Kirby episode.

"No! I don't what to watch this right now!" I yelled

…My third mistake…

Unable to find anything good on, I turned off the TV, and rolled over onto my back. I shut my eyes for what I vowed only a moment. It was a very long moment.

…

I awoke to the feeling to something tickling my toes. My eyelids fluttered a bit and I lifted my head a bit to see a sheep licking my toes. Hell yes I screamed.

I jumped up, causing the sheep to run away on its short little legs. I looked around, the scene looking more and more unfamiliar to me. Obviously I was in a sheep paddock, but where?

I turned around and saw a cobblestone road. And houses! Houses painted annoyingly cheerful colors. Oh my god I was sent to Hell. Just for unintentionally throwing a ball and breaking a mirror. What kind of punishment system in Satan running?

I walked through the paddock, taking a fair amount of care to where I stepped.

Once I made it out, I started walking into the village. I noticed something that made me almost scream. The people… they weren't people. It was like I had stepped into a movie called The Invasion of the Animated Cookie Dough. A few people looked at me in curiosity but then went back to what they were doing.

I looked down at my feet, trying to remain inconspicuous. Except my feet, they were different somehow. They were bigger, and rounder than normal human feet should be. And what scared me most… they were pitch black.

I ran to a window to see my reflection and this time I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I bit it so hard that I tasted blood.

I looked like I was out of an anime show. My eyes seemed all sparkly and junk and my hair was in spiky clumps that no amount of moose could ever accomplish. It was still in a short bob with blood red flecks all over the top. I was lacking legs but I was now clad in a black skirt that had a silvery chain hung on the side. I was still wearing my jacket which still had the words Long live the Black Parade on it and my shirt underneath was still a black tank top with the words I want to Ctrl Alt Delete You plastered to the front. I may have looked nice, but that didn't stop me from being totally freaked out.

Something flashed out of the corner of my eye. I whirled around to see what looked like a shooting star, except more solid and lower to the ground. I watched as it hit the earth, churning up dirt as it slowed to a stop.

I ran up to where the thing had landed and I saw that it was, it fact, a star; but that the same time, it also looked… mechanical.

Someone pushed me out of the way and I stumbled backward onto the ground as more people gathered around to look at the ship.

A boy, a girl, two floating gum balls, two fancy looking adults, a few people from the village, a bloated penguin and an unusually large snail with a green goatee.

"What is it?" someone asked, I wasn't exactly sure who

"It's a space invader!" shouted the penguin thing, which just so happened to have a very heavy southern accent.

I didn't here if anyone else said anything but what I did hear was a hatch opening and compressed air escaping.

After shoving a lot of people out of the way, I saw a pink beach ball like thing gazing up at everyone like a newborn baby.

"Mash it with your mallet!" shouted the snail randomly and the penguin raised a giant mallet that seemed to materialize out of nowhere.

"No! Don't!" shouted the girl, stepping in front of the pink ball, "We don't even know where it came from!"

Regardless, the penguin sent the ball flying into the distance

"You idiot!" I shouted at the penguin, it felt good to raise my voice after awhile of suppressing screams. Everyone turned and seemed to just now realize that I had been there that whole time, "Why did you do that?"

"Who are you to question what his majesty does or doesn't do?" ordered the snail, crossing his arms

"Who are you to question my questioning of what his majesty does or doesn't do?" I retorted, smirking, the snail looked confused and was about to speak but the penguin shouted, "I order you to tell me who you are!"

"Why, I'm a space invader!" I said, mimicking the penguin's accent, "Who are you?"

"How dare you speak to his majesty with such insolence!" cried the snail, looking sour, "You need to learn out to respect your superiors!"

"How dare you not speak to his majesty with such insolence!" I shouted, "You need to learn how to laugh at your superiors!"

I could almost hear the snail grinding his teeth, I spoke again, "Seriously, I've known you for all of 5 seconds and you've already proven to be a suck-up."

Now everyone was just staring at me, completely dumbfounded that I would have such a rude attitude to their oh-so-precious king. The little girl ran off for some reason, probably to find that one puffball thing.

"You're under arrest for having a smart mouth towards his majesty, King Dedede!" growled the snail. The penguin looked smug.

"Dedede? What kind of name is Dedede?"I asked as little tanish-yellowish things surrounded me and began jabbing me with long, pointed spears, towards a castle that I hadn't noticed before.

"Wow, great getaway plan Lynn," I muttered to myself as I was led up to the castle.

…

I sat in a cell in what was more or less a dungeon mixed with a wine cellar. For the past half an hour I had been trying to get a bar on my cell phone. Long distance calling my arse.

I shoved the phone into my pocket when I heard multiple footsteps coming down the stairs. The little boy and girl (who looked strangely familiar) the floating things, and the pink guy who had come out of the space ship.

"Hello," said the girl, in what I assumed was her attempt a being friendly. I myself, thought I heard a hint of pity. "Who are you?"

"I'm a little goth girl locked up in a jail cell that smells like stale wine. You?" I said sarcastically

"Well sis, maybe she doesn't want to be let out of her cozy little cell," teased the boy

"You're an evil little boy, you know?" I said, "I respect that."

"What are you? You look like a Cappy, but at the same time, you don't" the girl asked

"Half an hour ago, I was human,"

The little girl shrugged but then brushed a piece of hair out of her face in what I thought was a very snobbish manner, "My name's Tiff."

I imitated her and said in a semi-high voice, "My name's Lynn." My voice returned to normal and I turned my gaze to everyone else, "And what about you guys?"

"I'm Tuff," the boy said, pointing to himself

"And we're Fololo," started one of the floating balls, this one blue, "And Falala!" finished the pink one

"Fascinating," I said flatly, "And what about this thing?" I pointed at the puffball

"That's Kirby," Tiff said

"Poyo!" Kirby shouted at the sound of his name

Everything suddenly came rushing back to me like one painful headache. These were the annoying, clichéd Kirby characters whose guts I hated. My eye twitched.

"Well? Do you want us to let you out or not?" Tuff asked, dangling a small key ring in front of my face

"Gimmee that," I said, swiping the keys from him before he had time to withdraw his hand. Quickly I unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"Ok, I'm out. Now what?"

"Well, we have to go to a dinner to welcome Kirby," Tiff said, "You might be able to come along if you want to."

"Will they have breadsticks?"

"I guess,"

"I'm in,"

…

I sat on a stool next to Tiff and Tuff, looking around at the people who occupied the chairs near me. I found it weird, so I just staring longingly at the breadsticks. I like breadsticks…

The mayor (or at least that's what I assumed he was) stood up and said something on Kirby's behalf. The puffball looked like it had absolutely no idea what was going on.

When the mayor finished, Tiff just said, "Kirby doesn't understand what you're saying."

Then, without warning, Kirby inhaled all of the food on the table. When he finished, all that was left was us, with my hair standing on air from the wind, and a bunch of empty dishes.

"He… he ate… the breadsticks," I said with disappointment.

Kirby showed no comprehension that he had just eaten the best food in the history of the universe. He just skipped out like nobodies business.

"Come on! We have to get him!" Tiff said, running out after Kirby, Tuff, Fololo and Falala following him close behind. That left me, sitting at the table with people just looking at me as if they had just realized I was here.

I looked around before standing up and running towards the door, "Don't leave me alone in there!!!"

I caught up with them looking out at a sheep paddock. There were a few sheep scattered across the field but there was something that I hadn't noticed my first time in this field; there were bones scattered about the paddock.

"My god," I muttered, "What happened and why wasn't I there to videotape it?"

"Kirby, did you do this?" Tiff asked, I actually found this funny, "You really think Kirby ate all this? He's like, 8 inches tall!" I laughed. Then I remembered the food. And the breadsticks… "Never mind," I sighed

"Maybe Kirby is the monster," Falala mused in her ridiculously high voice

"Well, we can't stay here, come on!" Tiff grabbed Kirby's hand and led us down to what looked like a large garden shed.

Once we were all in, I shut the door and locked it as best I could.

"You are the one who ate all those sheep aren't you?" Tuff accused

"If you tell us the truth Kirby, maybe we can help you!" assured Tiff

"I hate to break it to you, but Tiff, you're no psychiatrist. What do you plan on doing? Tape his mouth shut? Have fun with that!"

"Why did you even come along if you're just going to criticize me?" Tiff asked, annoyed

"Because I don't want to be stuck in a house with living cookie dough!" I replied back, harsher than I had intended

Suddenly, we heard voiced from outside. Once with a raspy poorly done, English accent said, "Hey, let's check out that shack!"

Then another one replied and it sounded like a turkey with a spoon shoved down its throat. "Adakajvkjivjfsfhah,"

"What?!" I asked in a loud whisper, "Was that supposed to be English?"

Tiff didn't answer; instead she grabbed a burlap sack and shoved it over Kirby in a pathetic attempt to hide him. Just in time too; the door was kicked in and 2 figures approached us. They were both clad in armor. But by looking at their size and shape, my thoughts of being saved from this hellish nightmare fleeted.

"It's Tiff," said the taller of the 2, the one with the English accent

"DajfkjTuff," completed the other. It was like a more twisted version of Fololo and Falala.

The nervous tone in Tuff's voice made me uneasy but then I realized that these kids were really bad liars, "Uh, hi Sword. Hi Blade."

Sword and Blade? Those names are weird enough to match that Dedede guy. I thought as they approached us.

"What are you two doing here?" Tiff asked, ah well, at least she sounded more confident than Tuff.

"Zaeifjnoiefjfking," said the smaller one, Blade, I think.

"We're looking for a bloke named Kirby," the tall one said. I couldn't help myself; this dude's accent was too much.

"I'm sorry mate. Kirby ain't here. Maybe you could go check in Australia. And you should also check your friend's voice. I think he might have swallowed a coffee mug." I imitated the knight's accent.

The horrified looks Tiff and Tuff were giving me told me that I was now liable to die any moment now.

But before the knight's could slice me into lunchmeat or whatever they ate here, another voice, this time with a Spanish accent ,"I am not so sure."

A figure stepped through the doorway and the knights seemed to kneel in the presence of this person or whatever he was (personally I don't know how they would kneel. They seem to lack legs).

The thing seemed to step closer and, despite his size, he was really quite intimidating. And that's saying something. I am not intimidated easily.

Suddenly, the knight (I think…) unsheathed a shiny gold sword and stabbed it at the sack that Tiff was doing a poor job keeping hidden. The girl leapt out of the way just as the sword pierced the sack. He lifted it and Kirby popped out looking oblivious as ever. So that's my expression in Algebra.

The knight's eyes seemed to flash but he stood completely still.

Then, (and this kind of freaked me out) his eyes changed from amber to a bright green. "So, it is true."

Then, with a twirl of his blue cape, he turned and left. Tiff just blinked a few times and then chased him out. I followed of course. I didn't want to be left in a dark shed with two knights that were probably plenty pissed at me by now.

"Please Meta Knight," Tiff pleaded

Then Tuff finished for her, "Don't tell the king,"

Now that tops Dedede by a long shot, I thought, who names there kid Meta Knight?

"The king is not the problem," he said, still keeping his back turned to us, "now we have to find the real monster."

There was a loud noise, a bit like a clap of thunder. At first I looked up, but then I realized that the noise had come from the castle, there was smoke billowing out from one of the windows. Kirby started running towards the explosion.

"Oh come on, even I'm not dumb enough to run towards an explosion!" I sighed exasperatedly

One of the knights was about to contradict me but I just raised my hand to cut him off, "I know what's you're going to say, so just keep your mouth shut for about five seconds,"

The puffball then started to slowly float up to where the smoke was coming from. A bit like a backwards feather.

…

Tiff, Tuff and I all ran into the throne room (I think…) to see Dedede (there's no way I'm about to call him 'king' he locked me in a friggin cellar.)

"Kirby!" Tiff shouted, but the king knocked Kirby into the air. The little thing was getting the crap beaten out of him.

The two fancy looking adults that I had seen earlier that day ran if from out of nowhere. "Look it's Kirby!" The man asked, "He's getting creamed by the king!" the woman finished. Apparently no one here can finish their sentence without help.

Dedede tried to hit Kirby again but just ran into a wall. A little star fell out of his pocket and rolled towards us. Tiff picked it up.

"Get away!" we heard someone shout, don't ask me how Meta Knight managed to shove all three of us out of the way of a falling pillar and still keep his cape wrapped around himself, I myself am still trying to figure it out,

"Thanks." I said, spitting out a mouthful of rubble, "I take it you're with us?"

"Look out!" Meta Knight said sharply

"O…k… not exactly the answer I was looking for." I said, but then looked to where he was pointing and saw a huge octopus sitting on the top of a little fish tank. It got bigger and bigger until it was about a hundred times its original size.

I just stared with my mouth agape. I… hate… this… show…

"That's the monster that ate all the sheep!" Tuff yelled

"Yes and now it has taken control of the king!" Meta Knight said

"Really?" I said sarcastically, "I hadn't noticed!"

The octopus burst through the ceiling and curled its tentacles around the castle turrets and towers.

Tiff, Tuff and I started running through the castle, trying to find a way out. One of the Giant tentacles was following us with rapid speed. Eventually it caught up with us and knocked us to the ground. It blocked us, leaving no where for us to run. So I shouted at the top of my lungs, "I HATE FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!"

But Kirby jumped in front of us, "Great, now I feel so much better," I said, my voice cracking out of trying to be sarcastic when scared out of my wits. I had watched Animal Planet. I knew how squids ate their dinner.

Then, little octopus's started flowing out of the giant one's suckers

"That's not fair!!!"

Well, let me just make this next part short and sweet. Kirby got the snot beaten out of him and the little star that Tiff was holding caught Meta Knight's attention. He explained that it was like this warp star thingy and that it was the source of Kirby's power or something like that.

Tiff ran after Kirby, who was trying to escape his attackers.

Now the octopus was really starting to do some damage. Knocking in towers, smashing walls, and we were liable to get crushed any moment now.

I followed Tiff to a still-standing balcony and she hopped up on the ledge. "Kirby!!!!" she shouted holding the star in the in the air.

Kirby smiled and started 'poyoing' and hopping around. He then started a repeat of the dinner table incident, inhaling anything that wasn't nailed down.

"Whoa, that dude is never full, is he?" I said, straitening my hair once again

"Inhale is Kirby's classic defense," Meta Knight appeared out of nowhere

"Dude, have you always been there?" I asked

The octopus sent another army of tiny counterparts at Kirby, but instead of inhaling them, he did this awesome spin kick thing that sent them flying

Tiff and Tuff cheered. Meta Knight looked statuette. And I just with I had some popcorn and a video camera.

The third time the little octopus's attacked; Kirby inhaled them, but then something strange happened; the puffball jumped into the air, and seemed to adopt a hat made completely out of fire.

Meta Knight explained Kirby's 'copy ability' or that's the way he put it. I can't remember the explanation word for word but Kirby is now Fire Kirby or something.

It was now a battle of fire on fire. Finally Kirby managed a spectacular blast of fire and the octopus was sent into space.

Tiff and Tuff cheered again. The two adults, Escargoon and Dedede (now looking particularly solemn appeared behind us. Dedede said something about a refund but I was too relieved to care.

While everyone was getting their bearings after the incident, I saw Meta Knight begin to walk off. I ran up to him.

"Ok, don't think I'm doing this to be kind or caring or anything," I said, Meta Knight just kept walking, I walked with him, "But tell those two friends of yours that I'm sorry. The only reason I'm saying this is because they might try to take my head off and call it an accident. Leave out that last part please."

Meta Knight turned his head to me, nodded, and then just disappeared into the shadows.

"You're so very charismatic!" I called after him

…

The next morning, (I slept in a tree) Kirby's little ship had been repaired by who knows what force of nature. Tiff, Tuff, and a couple people from the village came to see Kirby off.

"I wished you could have stayed longer Kirby," Tiff said

"Poyo," Kirby said softly, he turned around and was about to get on the ship but then, he turned back around and walked up to Tiff

"I hate long goodbyes so just go!" Tiff said, turning her back

"Jeez Tiff, you're nice," I said, then turned to Kirby, "Bye Kirby, you pink puffball or whatever the heck you're made of."

Kirby got in his ship and the hatch closed. Slowly it drifted into the air and Tuff, Tiff, Fololo and Falala chased after it. I heard them yell thanks and all that sappy junk but then, over on the hill, I saw Dedede and Escargoon in their jeep, a large gun pointed at the ship. I put a hand to my head, "Oh Christ," I muttered, "What now?"

To answer, the gun fired and hit Kirby's ship. It spiraled to the ground at hit the jeep, creating an explosion, "That's my favorite part since I've been here!" I laughed, and then went to go check out the damage. I got there just in time to see Dedede chasing Escargoon with his mallet.

"Well Kirby, just like me, it looks like you're stuck here," I said to the puffball

"You wanna stay with us?" Tiff asked

"Kaabii Kaabii!" Kirby shouted

Well, if all the chapters are going to be this long then I'm only going to do requested episodes but I'm going to try to pile them in order the best I can. Or, if you don't even like the idea of messing with the dub I'm going to get rid of this. This is just kind of an experiment. Review!