The Annoying Game

by Hic Iacet Mori

Part 1

Uzumaki Naruto and Sai started off at the very wrong foot, so wrong that having a gambling drunkard for a Hokage was actually the rightest thing in the world. There were a lot of animosity between them—rather, from Naruto's side as Sai was an unfeeling jerk by default—and it didn't help that Sai was almost a literal replacement to Naruto's rival-best friend, Uchiha Sasuke. Interestingly, though, it was the particular mission to try and retrieve the wayward Uchiha that brought the two into a reluctant truce. Said reluctant truce turned into grudging mutual respect in time—rather, from Naruto's side only as Sai was a social retard by default and wouldn't understand how respect can be related to grudge—until, in typical Uzumaki fashion, Sai was brought into the light.

So was Naruto, who learned soon that Sai's flippant attitude and callousness was a product of Root's desensitization to create the ultimate shinobi. Naruto, as was his typical way of seeing the world at large, saw in Sai a little bit of himself. He was an orphan—like him; treated in an unconventionalmanner—like him; and secretly pining for his special bond—like him. It helped too, that Sai treated the deceased Shin like a brother and Naruto treated the defected Sasuke like a brother as well—something that Sai denied once by calmly commenting that he never obsessed over his brother-by-spirit and that he didn't believe in incest, but Naruto didn't know what that was supposed to mean so Sai was left unscathed that day.

They were similar in some ways enough for Naruto to like Sai, but what he truly found likable about the older shinobi was how the latter's utter social cluelessness—infinitely worse than his—led to many interesting and often hilarious situations. More often enough, said situations land them in incidents more dangerous, more threatening, and more serious than most missions they had ever had.

And so a game was born.

It was one fine day six months after Naruto got to know Sai when the blond still-genin was more restless and bored than usual. Enter Sai, who he promptly wheedled into treating him to miso ramen at the well-loved Ichiraku. Barely two minutes after Naruto had warmed his seat, Sai already sported an empty bowl on his head with tepid ramen trailing down his face.

Naruto couldn't stop snickering. He only stopped when his nose accidentally inhaled the strings of noodles—a pause while he removed the intrusion, popped it into his mouth, before he guffawed.

"I merely complimented Ugly on her shinier forehead," Sai remarked, patting his face dry with a white handkerchief. "Women are supposed to enjoy compliments. Does that mean Ugly isn't a woman at all?"

He snorted again before swallowing another mouthful of ramen. "Compliment. Right. And then you said it's so shiny you can see yourself staring back. You know Sakura-chan is sensitive about her forehead."

"Yes," Sai said, nodding. He looked perplexed, though. "That's why I gave her a compliment."

Naruto shook his head in laughter and defeat. "Just don't mention her forehead anymore."

"Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked behind him and broke into one of his sunny smiles. "Oi Miroku! Done with your mission?"

"That was an entirely pointless question."

A shinobi in chuunin attire slipped under the overhang. Said chuunin had dark brown hair in dreadlocks, his dark green eyes shining with excitement as he approached Naruto. In his hand was an odd-looking explosive tag.

"Check out what I made, yo!" Miroku exclaimed with pride.

"Is he your friend, dickless?" Sai inquired, rubbing his bruised head.

Naruto glared half-heartedly at the socially-inept ninja before flashing an apologetic grin to Miroku. "Miroku, this is Sai, an asshole with sensitivity issues. Sai, this is Miroku, chuunin espionage-expert. We had a mission before."

Miroku bowed to his waist. "A pleasure to meet you, Sai-kun."

Sai, thankfully, had read up on the book of etiquette Sakura had thrown on his head a week before. "Likewise, Miroku-san."

"So what is it?" Naruto asked.

The chuunin held the piece of paper in his hand. "I made a new type of explosive tag. This one's the greatest for distractions in situations with no viable escape."

"Distractions?"

Personally, Naruto thought that an explosive tag for distractions in situations with no viable escape was overkill for the chuunin. The problem with talking to Miroku was how distracted Naruto would always be by the large mole on the right side of his nose. Sometimes, after accidentally staring and getting caught by the darkness of Miroku's mole, he would see a mole-mouth spewing obscenities as mole-eyes glared at him. Pay attention to what I'm saying, dumbass! You think your nonexistent awesome ninja skills could hide your ogling? Oi dipshit, this isn't my face!

"—Naruto-kun?"

There, he had been distracted again!

"Do you know that your mole is an excellent distraction tool?"

Naruto's head snapped up. Horror dawned on his features as a tan hand reached up to his mouth. Did he say that out loud? But his mouth was shut!

"You only need to angle your head to the right. Wait for the sun to bathe your mole in the morning glow and your enemies will be blinded by the gla—"

A hand reached out to slap Sai's cordial mouth.

"Dude! Ignore what the asshole said!" Naruto said with as much good cheer as he could muster with a shinobi wiggling from his tight hold and an offended chuunin with angry, watering eyes standing before him. "He's just joking, see?" His voice lowered into a whisper. "Nod your head or I'm going to tell Sakura-chan what you said about her boobs yesterday!"

Sai nodded obediently. Naruto promptly removed his hand over the clueless Root ANBU's mouth and covertly wiped it on the back of his pants.

"Covering my mouth with a hand that touched your mouth is unhygienic, dickless."

Naruto kicked him in the shin. Sai merely smiled.

"So where were we?" he asked jovially in an attempt to salvage the otherwise friendly conversation. The chuunin flashed a dark look to his retarded companion before nodding with not a small amount of hesitation.

"Maybe we can test this tag somewhere?" Miroku asked, eyes lighting up as he held his prized explosive tag.

"Is your eyesight poor?" Sai asked out of nowhere.

"I—pardon?" Miroku asked, startled by the question.

Sai nodded in understanding. "And you're hard of hearing as well. While I can assume that your enormous mole is blocking your eyesight, I couldn't say the same for your hearing. Unless you have another mole somewhere near your ear that is altering the vibration of sound waves?"

He watched in perplexed silence as Miroku's face reddened while spluttering incoherently. Meanwhile, Naruto looked like he was choking in his own saliva.

"Fu—Sai! Why?" Naruto finally managed to hiss.

Sai smiled with a small amount of confusion in his blank face. "He was inviting you to test his tag somewhere when it is clear that you aren't done with your meal." His head tilted to the side. "You look constipated. Is the ramen not agreeing with your stomach?"

The warning bells in Naruto's mind were ringing and he hurriedly paid for his one miso ramen—the first time in his life that he ever only managed to finish one bowl—ignoring the fact that Sai was supposed to be paying for the treat. He thought of leaving Sai but he couldn't forget his teammate duties, so he quickly grabbed said ninja's wrist in a tight hold.

"Had to plant my waters!" Naruto explained hurriedly. "Ja, Miroku!"

The words were barely out of his mouth when the stand was engulfed in gray smoke and a kunai almost grazed his neck. Suddenly he was coated in ink and he had no fucking idea what happened until he found himself hidden in a bush.

"Are we going to have sex?" a voice with no discernible inflection asked beside him.

Naruto's eyes bulged as he swiftly released his grip on his clueless teammate. "The hell that came from?"

"It came from me. Or is the lack of penis affecting your logic as well?" Sai asked in his version of concern.

"Sai," Naruto growled. His fingers were itching to wrap itself around a pale neck. Preferably Sai's.

"Yes, dickless?"

"Where the fuck did that question come from?"

Sai's eyebrows furrowed, the smile in his face admirably in place. "From you?"

"Argh, you're so hopeless!" Naruto screamed, his hands reaching up to strangle the air. Hopefully Sai would be a helpful teammate and place his neck between his hands.

Black eyes were gleaming with curiosity over Naruto's gesticulations. "Is there something I said or did to imply that I lack hop—"

"Sex!" Naruto screeched. "Where did your question about sex come from?" He would kill whoever planted that idea in the dickhead's mind!

"Oh, that question," Sai remarked. "I read from Kakashi-san's book that people who engage in sexual activities prefer to indulge in it in the bushes."

Naruto's mouth hung open, then closed. Then opened and closed again. Suddenly he didn't know what to say anymore.

"Is your nose clogged with excessive mucus? While we normally exhale through the mouth, you may inadvertently swallow a wayward flying insect."

And then Naruto just knew what to do.

He laughed.

He laughed long and hard until he passed the stage of being red in the face and skipped to being blue from lack of air. Sai was waiting for him to calm down with a quizzical smile on his face.

"Sai, Sai," Naruto finally wheezed. He laughed again before settling down with a wide grin on his face. "You're an asshole and a sorry excuse for a human, but you're fun to have around."

Sai felt his smile relax into something more genuine. His chest had oddly warmed up on those words and he said the first two words he ever uttered that weren't prodded by all the books that he had read.

"Thank you."

Naruto smiled back. He could see the sincerity in the older shinobi's smile and hear it in his words. Sai may not be as hopeless, after all.

He bit back a grin as his voice became serious. "Of course, it's kinda tiring to be looking after our asses every time you open your mouth."

"How is my mouth connected to our asses?" Sai asked in a clearly puzzled voice.

"That—" Naruto almost choked on his laughter, "—sounded so wrong." Before Sai could ask why, he plodded on, "What I mean is, we always have to save ourselves whenever you accidentally insult people."

Sai never ceased to wonder why people react in an offensive manner when he offered his observations, but he understood what Naruto just said. "We can think of it as training, dickless."

The younger shinobi rolled his blue eyes. "Training. Right." His eyes took a faraway look as Sai's words began to sink in.

"Sai! You're a genius!"

"I couldn't say the same for you, unfortunately."

Naruto ignored the disparaging comment on his intellectual capacity. "We can train using your assholey mouth!"

"My mouth resembles an asshole?"

"You can insult some people until they get angry enough to come after us and then we'll use the opportunity to use our mad ninja skills!"

"I don't have mad ninja skills, dickless. Clinical insanity is not beneficial to the battlefield."

"Or I can help you annoy people!" Naruto continued in an enthusiastic voice. "We'll choose a target and do everything we can until they come to us using their ultimate jutsu! Then we have to do everything to make sure we remain alive. It's excellent training!"

Sai knew that whatever it was his young friend had concocted, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. It was interesting to watch Naruto's expressions, anyway. He seemed to be really taken into his idea.

"We should have a time limit. Like, we should annoy our target in one week or one month or something. If we couldn't annoy our target, we should have some kind of punishment. Whatcha think?"

Sai was smiling as his mind analyzed Naruto's words. "A month should suffice. It takes ten seconds to annoy you to use Rasengan, but normal people like Nara—"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto cut off, rolling his eyes. "So my punishment is—" he paused, then swallowed hard, "—I won't eat ramen for three days."

"That's not a punishment," Sai mildly pointed out.

"Choose yours already!"

Sai pondered for a moment. "I will not draw for three days."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes in deep thought. An eye opened and he smiled. "Fair enough. Now let's annoy our target!"

"Who?"

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed. "Anou, I guess the first person we see."

As if Fate had heard, an ivory-white hand parted the bushes where they were hiding and a deep voice spoke up. Like the voice of a tenor from way up high.

"There you are. Hokage-sama is looking for you, Naruto."

And so Hyuuga Neji became their first target.

After meeting with the Hokage, Naruto decided to add another rule to their game—they couldn't use anything in the taboo list against their targets("Why?" "Because that's just making it soooo easy." "I don't see anything wrong with it." "We need a challenge, man!"). In Neji's case, they couldn't use the Main family-Branch family division to prod him into a violent rage. While Naruto may be a prankster, he wasn't a heartless bastard. Unlike someone he knew.

The two spent a week on reconnaissance before applying what they discovered. What would make the stoic Hyuuga genius explode? Not tampering his conditioner, not soiling his clan robes, not even locking him in a closet with the voluble Rock Lee. Poking fun at his freaky pupil-less eyes merely irritated Neji, and consistently attacking his blind spot during a spar only fueled said Hyuuga's determination. Mocking the jounin by embellishing the story of how Naruto defeated him in the chuunin exams only served to force the long-haired shinobi into rolling his eyes in exasperation. Exposing his secret as a closet Icha Icha fan—with delivery receipt as proof and a grinning Jiraiya signing Neji's copies with pride—merely dislocated Sai's left shoulder.

Sakura only took half an hour to take care of it, after which Sai thanked her ("My shoulder owed its profoundest gratitude to your manly grip—and the overgrown brain behind your ginormous forehead") and Naruto thought it necessary to coax Shizune to take care of Sai's now two dislocated shoulders.

It was while visiting Tenten in her apartment to borrow a kunai sharpener that Naruto hit the jackpot. Neji was very protective of his teammates in an aloof sort of way, but caring was caring and it was a language he understood. Neji would probably have no problems with Naruto being with Tenten, but Sai?

"Wanna go to the onsen, Tenten?"

"When?"

Minutes later Naruto found Sai. On their way to the onsen, they ran into Hinata.

"H—Hello, N-N-Naruto-k-k-kun, S-S-Sai-san."

Hinata really was the weirdest girl Naruto had ever known. And the most delicate. Greeting people seemed to take a lot out of her.

"Hey Hinata."

"You still have trouble speaking, Hinata-san?" Sai asked pleasantly. "It seems your considerable breasts are blocking your air flow and hindering your speech."

Hinata's face was the reddest shade Naruto had ever seen. But he couldn't comment on it as his own face flamed with embarrassment for his timid friend and fury over his insufferable teammate.

"Sai, you asshole!" he screeched. Naruto screeched a lot when Sai was around.

"Sorry about that, Hinata. Sai's just an inborn jerk," he said, turning to the long-haired girl who was desperately gasping for air and dignity. And Naruto really felt sorry for her. "Anou sa, wanna join us? We're meeting Tenten in the communal onsen."

"C-C-Communal?"

Naruto nodded. "Aa." His blue eyes looked down at her with worry. "Hey, you okay?"

"U-Un!" Hinata said weakly, a pale hand covering her nose. "I—I h-h-have t-t-to go."

The two watched as Hinata vanished from their sight. Shrugging, they continued to their destination.

Neji had received Tenten's missive that she won't be available for their spar as she was invited to the onsen by "my dear neighbor Naru-chan and he'd be bringing a friend along." He had a bad feeling over the situation—Naruto and his intolerable teammate Sai had been unusually persistent in being around him lately. He knew Tenten could take care of herself, being Konoha's Weapon Mistress, but his instincts were telling him to drop by for a visit if he could.

It took a moment for Neji to realize that in his random pacing in random places, he had almost stepped on his cousin Hinata.

Said cousin was kneeling on the floor before her bath materials with a noticeably pink tinge on her cheeks. It was as if she was praying for enlightenment from the deities of bath essentials.

"Hinata-sama? Why are you on the floor?"

"N-Neji-niisan?"

A dark eyebrow gracefully rose. "Is something the matter?"

"A-Anou—" Hinata's blush deepened. "N-Naruto-kun invited me to j-j-join him and Sai-san t-t-to—to the c-c-communal onsen."

Neji nodded. "I see." He turned around to continue his pacing. Then paused.

"my dear neighbor Naru-chan—"

Naruto.

"—and he'd be bringing a friend along."

Sai.

"—to the c-c-communal onsen."

No way in hell.

"Ah, this is good!" Tenten exclaimed, leaning back as hot water soothed her aching muscles. It had been a long time since she pampered herself. "Thanks, Naruto, Sai-san."

"No problem!" Naruto said cheerily.

"The pleasure is mine, Tenten-san," Sai returned amicably.

Tenten hummed with contentment. But Sai wasn't finished.

"Indeed, it was a pleasure to see the shapeliest buns of a female in Konoha up close."

Tenten looked at Sai with uncertainty. She consciously reached up to touch one of her oxhorn. "Thanks?"

"Not as perfectly-shaped as the one dickless has, though."

Naruto's mouth dropped in mortification while Tenten's face reddened—from embarrassment or rage, he didn't care to identify at the moment. It was a good thing that Tenten had a high level of tolerance, though. Anyone would, with an icy bastard and an over-enthusiastic kid for teammates.

"O-kay. That was awkward," she laughed. Awkwardly.

And then it happened.

Hot water suddenly shot up the air and massive killing intent encompassed the once-peaceful onsen. Hyuuga Neji had heard everything and he was intent on mutilating Sai's tenketsu to nonexistence.

The three sprang up from the waters as Sai tried to evade Neji's Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou. With a water-logged towel on his waist and a demonically faster opponent, Sai couldn't deflect all of 128 palm strikes.

Tenten appeared before the rampaging Hyuuga, pushing Sai to where Naruto stood with his mouth agape.

"Neji! What's gotten into you?"

Neji was panting from the adrenaline rush. Tenten strode nearer, unmindful of the wet towel that was slowly slipping down her body.

"I'm trying to relax here!" Tenten exclaimed, exasperated. "We spar everyday! Can't we skip a day at all? Neji? Neji?"

A cool draft explained why Neji's white face had turned an unhealthy scarlet.

"Oh. Shit," Tenten murmured. Her towel dropped. Oops.

She bent down to retrieve the cloth, unwittingly giving a little show to the two silenced shinobi behind her.

"Wow. That is one fine piece of ass," Naruto breathed in awe.

"I said so, didn't I," Sai said, his smile widening.

It was the only time in his whole life that Hyuuga Neji's eyes bled crimson.

It took two weeks for Sai and five days for Naruto to recover. It took three months before Neji calmed enough to not attack them on sight. In the time that they were in the hospital, Naruto painfully congratulated themselves on the success of their game.

"We should do it again," Naruto said, fighting back a grunt of pain.

And Sai, his entire body in a cast and his chakra system barely recovering, broke into a full smile.

"Yes."

They decided to play their game every three months after that. Naruto made a list of the shinobi they knew and tore the paper into small pieces with individual names. After drawing lots, they got their next target—Hagane Kotetsu.

It was unbelievably easy to annoy the chuunin. Naruto changed his coffee to decaf and Sai wrote "I only bend for Izumo, biatch!" on the bandage covering the bridge of his nose while he was asleep. Kotetsu began swinging around his giant mace after discovering the same words written in semi-permanent ink on the skin not covered by his bandage.

Naruto still hadn't explained to Sai what biatch meant, though. Or how bending for Izumo could drive a happy-go-lucky person like Kotetsu into rage. Though that month, Sai learned that it was really painful to get hit by a mace on the head.

Their next target was Inuzuka Kiba, another easy one. Sai and Naruto hid Akamaru and invited the brash chuunin to a covered picnic table in the forest. The huge, drugged canine was sleeping under the table when Kiba came to Naruto and Sai's "invitation-only" picnic.

Kiba's sensitive nose could pick Akamaru's scent coming from the table, and when he warily asked what the roasted meat on the table was, Naruto exclaimed that it was a "native delicacy from Kumo" ("Did you know that the Raikage like his dogs tender?" Sai interjected with a pleased smile).

Naruto and Sai ended up in the hospital for the third time in nine months.

By then, three people had discovered what the two shinobi were up to. Shikamaru, who had always been too smart for his own good, had figured it out during their second round. He was too lazy to forget details and too detached to care about his blond friend's masochistic tendencies—the fact that he was the best friend of the renegade Uchiha was proof to the fact—plus it seemed to be doing good to his socially-deficient teammate. Shikamaru concluded that it wasn't too great a nuisance to trouble himself with.

And knowing about their game ensured that Shikamaru won't be a target ever.

The second person to discover the game was Tsunade. Forceful persuasion made the unrepentant Uzumaki Naruto confess everything, and it was a great relief to the recently-promoted chuunin that they weren't ordered to stop. The Hokage agreed that it was excellent training—albeit very radical and deadly—and she could see the effects their game had on Naruto and Sai's relationship. They were fast becoming close friends—Naruto was smiling more again and Sai was smiling a real smile once in a while.

The third person to know was Shizune. Tsunade needed a betting partner.

The Godaime had yet to win.

Of all their targets since they started the game, Hyuuga Hinata had dealt the most damage. Who knew that shy, gentle Hinata could become such a rabid, violent, ruthless demon over a silently borrowed photo album?

Tsunade lost that bet as well. She bet that Hinata wouldn't hurt either of the two.

Naruto had accidentally gotten into the line of fire of her Shugo Hakke Rokujuuyonshou.

Both Naruto and Sai spent two weeks recovering in the hospital. When Naruto timidly asked what was in the heavily-warded photo album, the heiress fainted.

Throughout the time that Naruto and Sai had been training and playing the dangerous game, they never stopped chasing Sasuke. And so, more than four years later since he left, Uchiha Sasuke was finally back in Konoha. It had taken more than a year before he finally allowed himself to be bathed in the warmth and light that was Naruto, and while things will never be the same between them—a world of hurt and betrayal was hard to forget—Naruto had welcomed him in as friendly a manner as he could.

Almost a year later and they were trading insults once more but Sasuke could sense a disquieting gap between them. It bothered him that it bothered him, but he had been away too long and while he chided himself for his sentimentality, he missed the old days. He may have been colder and angrier the first few months he had returned, but he truly missed the old days.

He only missed Konoha because he missed the blond idiot, however much he denied it upon his return. And however much he denied his bond with the moron, it was his most precious remaining bond and hell if he wouldn't make sure that it grew stronger and bring them close, closer, again. He made a mistake twice—first with Itachi, then with Naruto—and Sasuke won't repeat his mistakes ever again.

But a part of him, a part he thought he had gotten rid of, was saying words that brought a pang on his chest because they were true.

And he hated himself for it.

"Dobe."

Naruto looked up, a scowl on his face. "Stop calling me that, teme."

"An insult for an insult is hardly a convincing argument, dickless."

Sasuke's face was expressionless as he inwardly twitched with annoyance.

"Shut up Sai and stop calling me that," the now-jounin automatically fired back. In return, the former Root ANBU gave an almost playful smile.

"Are you two done?" Sasuke intoned, gritting his teeth. Naruto's head shot up, puzzled over his best friend's unwarranted irritation. It wasn't his fault that Sai had tricked him into writing their mission report. Nor was it his fault that Sai drew on his old scrolls and Naruto had to beg the Hokage to give him a new one. This'd be the last time I partner with that dick, Naruto inwardly grumbled. He forgot that he said that after every mission with Sai.

"What is it, bastard?"

"I'm going for lunch," Sasuke replied. A smile broke on the tan face and blue eyes lit up with child-like excitement. He almost smiled back at the predictable reaction, knowing that Naruto understood that it was his invitation. Since they returned to friendly terms, they hardly had the time to eat together as he completed his punishment and Naruto went on missions.

He didn't predict the blond turning to his replacement, however. "Hey Sai! You promised you'd treat me today!"

"You begged me," Sai corrected. "Then you threatened to tell Tsunade-sama what I said about her henge yesterday."

"So you're not buying me ramen?" Naruto asked, his smile stretching wide.

Sai stood up. "I didn't say that. Come on."

"Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed and threw the finished report on the other desk. He grabbed Sai's arm. "Let's go! Ja, bastard!"

And the words repeated in Sasuke's mind again.

And however much he hated himself for his weakness, the last Uchiha felt an ache in his chest.

"Okay Sai," Naruto said, his voice low as he stirred his ramen. His head was tilted nearer to his companion. "It's game time."

Sai nodded. They both knew that it was that time again. The lunch was just a cover to meet and plot for the tenth round of their no-holds barred training. Naruto took out a scroll and summoned the jar with their target names.

"It's your turn to draw, dickless."

Naruto puffed his cheeks at the irritating nickname but complied. A wicked grin on his face, he slowly lowered his hand as he clutched a piece of paper. With an air of anticipation, Naruto unfolded the paper.

Blue eyes widened as black eyes looked down in speculative silence.

"So our target is Uchiha."

Meters away, said Uchiha couldn't take his eyes off how near their faces were to each other. How their bodies were aligned with each other and how comfortable they appeared together. How close they appeared to anyone who saw them. How—

How it used to be Naruto and him.

His nails were digging painfully in his palms but he couldn't bring himself to care.

They didn't just grow up. It seemed they grew apart too.

Still think you're his precious person, Uchiha?

"We know the taboos," Naruto said the next day when they met at the Team 7 training ground. The old Team 7 hardly ever met anymore but Naruto and Sai always found the time to meet during game month. It helped that the Hokage enjoyed their game and made sure to put them on missions together during this time, or sometimes just give them day-offs altogether.

When she's feeling impatient, their target gets a day-off as well.

Sai nodded, a pleasant smile in face. "Uchiha massacre, Orochimaru, Otogakure, Akatsuki, Hebi, Taka, Uchiha Madara, and Uchiha Itachi."

Their tenth target had the longest taboo list ever.

"Should we do recon?" Naruto mused aloud. "I know some information about him that can help, y'know. He likes tomatoes, he hates sweets, he hates his fan girls, he hates being touched, he likes being superior, he hates bright colors, he hates idiots, he hates loud noises, he likes dark colors, he likes taking long sleeps—"

"Why doesn't he hate you?" Sai asked, curious. Most, if not all, in Naruto's information logically showed that Uchiha shouldn't be touching Naruto's shadow with a forty-foot pole.

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed, and then he shrugged after a moment of awkward silence. "Guess he got used to me. So—do we still do recon?"

A subtle shift in the wind caused him to turn to Sai. Their eyes caught each other in understanding before Naruto looked up.

"And a good morning to you too, bastard!" Naruto called out with a bright smile.

Sasuke stepped out from the shadows of the trees, glaring at everything and nothing in particular. His sharp eyesight had seen them a mile away, and it was with great effort that he had forced himself to not run the remaining steps and separate the two from each other.

Naruto and Sai were seated on the grasses with their legs crossed and their knees brushing against each other. Their voices had been low, as if they were discussing a matter only they could understand and only the other had a right to hear. Their postures were relaxed and their expressions almost uncannily similar.

They were too close.

Sasuke hadn't missed how the two had caught each other's eyes before Naruto called him out. It was as if they understood each other enough to not speak aloud anymore.

Like best friends did.

"Usuratonkachi," Sasuke unintentionally bit out harshly. "Fight me."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Hey. Are you mad at me or something?"

"Are you scared, Naru-chan?" he taunted. When in doubt, do the status quo. Even if he had to act as childishly as the idiot.

Naruto scowled. It had always been easy to rile him and he was reacting in a way that was familiar to the genius. "Teme—"

Naruto was on his feet when a pale hand caught a golden-brown wrist. Sasuke couldn't hide his ire like he normally would. A meaningful look passed between the two, and Sasuke watched in irritation as Naruto tensed before exhaling. He nodded and Sai released his hand.

Then Naruto spoke with words that made the blood in Sasuke's body run cold.

"Be grateful, bastard. Me and Sai still have something to discuss or you'd be crying already."

He stood for a moment in stunned silence as Naruto pulled the other pale ninja up. His black eyes hardened as the two went on speaking to each other in low tones, and then Naruto turned to him with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine," Sasuke spat out. Both golden eyebrows rose in surprise at the sudden venom in his best friend's interjection. Not in the mood to see their friendly interaction, Sasuke turned around and stalked off.

"What the hell?" Naruto muttered. Sasuke's shoulders were tensed and his movements slightly less graceful as it usually were. Did it really anger him that much?

"Hey Sai," Naruto started, slightly hesitant.

The other only nodded. "I understand. Later then."

Naruto grinned and nodded back. And then he raised his right hand as wind and chakra gathered on his palm. With a last cheeky grin at Sai, Naruto faced forward and took off.

"Rasengan!"

Sasuke felt a sudden spike of chakra behind him. His eyes widened as his body dodged in reflex—a second later and he would have been hit. The spiraling sphere hit a tree ahead of him instead, and his eyes narrowed as laughing blue eyes met his cold black ones.

"I thought you want to fight me, bastard," Naruto said after a strange moment of staring, a smile wide on his lips.

"Hn."

Sasuke was never a happy person. But in that moment, as their bodies clashed in the familiar dance of weapons and chakra after a long, long time, as he stifled the smile that threatened to form whenever he remembered that it was him with Naruto and not anyone else, that—childish as it was to say—it was him Naruto chose and no one else—

He felt it was the closest to happiness that he had ever reached.

Tsunade, Godaime Hokage of Konoha, rubbed her temple exasperatedly with slim, white fingers. "You cost me another training ground, gaki," she growled.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Me? He started it!" he yelled, pointing at Sasuke standing smugly beside him.

Sasuke smirked. "Who attacked first?"

"Well who said 'fight me'?" he screeched.

Ignoring the headache-inducing loud voice of his chosen successor, Tsunade was glad to see that everything seemed to bear a semblance of normalcy between the two once again. She could still remember the times that Naruto sought her to unburden about Uchiha, of the times that Naruto had been on the verge of tears as he narrated how he was ignored every time he came to visit the other shinobi. She could still remember the urge to ram her fist up his Uchiha ass whenever Naruto wondered if Sasuke really hated him for forcing him back to Konoha. And whenever Naruto would grin to swallow the tears he didn't want to let out, Tsunade had to swallow the urge to order the ANBU guarding their prisoner to beat the shit out of the snot-nosed arrogant prick of a bastard for making her precious Naruto suffer. For making him doubt, for making him fear. For making him fight back his tears and making him fake again that everything was alright.

Naruto was afraid that he didn't matter to Sasuke anymore.

If you only knew, she thought fondly as she watched the arguing couple before her. There was that arrogant smirk, that superior aura around the last Uchiha that Naruto intensely disliked, but there was something that he couldn't see. Because whenever Naruto so much as glance away, Sasuke's eyes would soften and Tsunade could see how much the loud-mouthed idiot truly mattered to him.

Sasuke scowled when he saw the Hokage looking at him with knowing amber eyes. Tsunade smirked, her smirk deepening at the slight angry red tinge that colored his smooth, ivory-colored cheeks. She chuckled when the annoyed former avenger looked away with a deeper scowl.

If you only knew how you make me want to get addicted to blackmail right now, Uchiha, she cackled mentally.

Which reminded her of her real reason for summoning Naruto.

"So what story can you share today, gaki?" Tsunade asked with a little smile.

Naruto grinned, his eyes squinting shut and making him uncannily resemble a wily animal. "Ever heard the story of the fox and the snake?"

An amused twinkle appeared in the Hokage's gold-flecked eyes. "No, but I'm looking forward to your narration. I can't wait to hear the ending."

Sasuke looked at the two, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Their words sounded innocent enough but it felt like he just missed something vital.

"Anything else, Baa-chan?" Naruto asked, hoping that his question didn't imply that he wanted to escape. He hoped that this latest information had made her forget about the annihilated training ground.

"Yes," Tsunade said, smiling too mischievously for his sanity. So it's the Uchiha's turn, eh? This should be perfect.

"As punishment, both of you would rebuild the training ground," she said in a voice of authority that wasn't as effective with that creepy smile on her face.

"Baa-chan!" Naruto whined. "That'd take too long!"

"A month, if I'm not mistaken," the Hokage said, waving her hand dismissively. "Next time, think twice before you ruin another training ground."

"B-B-But—!"

"No buts, Naruto," Tsunade said. "Both of you will start rebuilding the training ground tomorrow. Come early tomorrow morning for the details."

Sasuke had no problem about the punishment. If he could ignore his pride enough, he could even say that he was looking forward to it. This would be the first time in years that he and Naruto would work together again.

Naruto was about to open his mouth to complain again when he spoke up. Sasuke didn't want Tsunade to change her mind.

"Gotten so weak you can't plant a tree anymore, dobe?"

Naruto's back straightened as his blue eyes narrowed. Tsunade merely smothered a smile. It was obvious that Uchiha was baiting him to accept the punishment.

"Oh yeah? I can plant more trees than you!"

Bingo.

Sasuke merely smirked, which further irritated the hotheaded jounin. The Hokage decided to intervene as her mind laughed sadistically. Perfect.

"I'll be assigning an ANBU to guard the both of you," she continued. Her face was perfectly serious as she looked at Naruto. "Since you know that he is ANBU anyway, I doubt there will be any problem if he oversees this operation."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the grin that was spreading on Naruto's lips. ANBU the moron knew?

"Sai will be making sure the two of you complete your punishment without any problems," Tsunade said. Her eyes caught a pair of blue. "And when you're done with the punishment, tell me how the story ends. Dismissed."

Sasuke didn't hear what the Hokage said after hearing the name he disliked the most.

"Yatta! Sai's coming!"

The Hokage watched with amused interest as Uchiha Sasuke clenched his fist until it turned a bloodless white. Snickering to herself, she opened a drawer and took out her favorite saucer and a bottle of sake.

This promised to be the most interesting round of all.

"Naru-sensei-chan!"

"Tomo-tan!"

Naru-sensei-chan?

Sasuke frowned as a genin with almost white, blond hair and wide almond-brown eyes latched himself on Naruto's waist. The other ruffled already-tousled flaxen hair as the genin's arms tightened around him, looking up at happy blue eyes with a cheerful smile on his own face.

"Tomo, release Naru-sensei!" a new voice demanded.

"Learn to share, Aki," another voice drawled.

Brown eyes turned watery as Junsui Tomoaki looked at his teammates, his arms still latched on their sensei's waist. "But I missed Naru-sensei-chan..."

The kunoichi of Team 13, Kichou Amaya, glared at the younger blond with her hands on her hips, long black hair in a high ponytail braided at the tips swaying as she neared Naruto and Tomo. Her dark blue eyes were flashing. "And I miss Naru-sensei too! Now move!" she demanded. Tomo meekly stepped away from their sensei's embrace and she happily threw herself at Naruto.

"Naru-sensei! Maya-chan missed you!" she squealed, nuzzling her face on her sensei's hard torso.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"Na, Maya-chan," Naruto said in a light, disapproving voice. "You shouldn't have spoken to Tomo-tan that way. You're teammates, na?"

"Hai," Amaya said, bowing her head slightly. She looked to her left, where Tomo was watching with a mournful expression. "Eto, Tomo-kun..." Tomo looked at her with puppy-brown eyes, and any trace of jealousy disappeared in Amaya's heart. "I'm sorry, okay?"

The youngest member of Team 13 nodded happily. Amaya was like an older sister to him but sometimes she just get into this scary moods. "Un!" he replied.

"But Naru-sensei's still Maya-chan's!" the kunoichi declared, cheekily sticking a tongue out.

"He's not yours," a deep voice intruded with irritation. Amaya and Tomo's head snapped up, finally noticing the dark-haired shinobi standing beside their beloved sensei.

"Who are you?" Amaya asked, annoyed.

"Amaya," their last member said in a tired voice. Mirai Souzou stepped closer to their sensei and raised a fist, which their jounin gamely met halfway.

"Yo sensei, where've you been?" Souzou asked, light green eyes unconcerned yet curious at the same time.

Naruto laughed, causing Amaya to squeal and hug him tighter. "Just an A-rank, but I'm back now," he answered, a big smile on his face that quickly faded. "Oh wait. I have something important to tell you."

He gently pried the kunoichi's arms around him and jerked a thumb on Sasuke's direction. "Team 13, this is Sasuke. Sasuke, these are my kits. Junsui Tomoaki, Kichou Amaya, Mirai Souzou."

"Why's he with you, sensei?" Amaya asked with suspicion. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the girl. He really disliked girls. Especially bratty girls.

"Ehehe, good question, Maya-chan. Keep it up!" Naruto laughed nervously. At his students' stares, he went on. "Anou, we went sparring yesterday and we sort of got carried away—"

Amaya, Tomoaki, and Souzou were looking up at him expectantly. Naruto tried not to swallow. His genin would kill him, and it had only been a few months since he passed his first genin cell!

And Naruto had never been fonder of them.

Tomo had liked him on sight—but the affectionate blond tended to like anyone on sight, Naruto knew. He latched on him every time they meet, shouting how much he missed Naru-sensei-chan in the 12 hours they hadn't seen each other. What Naruto didn't know was that he was the only person Tomo would pepper with his happy kisses, though. Everyone who saw Tomo around Naruto knew that the only child of Junsui Yuki, children's book author, had a boy-crush on his sensei.

But what Naruto didn't know won't hurt him.

Amaya warmed up to him three days after they officially became a team. He was standing knee-deep on the river as the sun began to set behind him—he was giving a warm, proud smile as he looked down at his tired, hardworking genin. Suddenly Amaya jumped up and hugged him in the middle, squealing "Naru-sensei is so cute!"

Naruto still couldn't fathom what was so cute about a sweaty, slightly drenched shinobi.

Souzou was an obedient kid who respected him as their sensei. He was a quiet boy but not overly-so, and where Tomo was the innocent child and Amaya the temperamental teenager, Souzou was the cool-headed little adult. His drawl was enough to calm Amaya and soothe Tomoaki, and the two teammates looked up to him as their natural leader. One day Souzou just approached Naruto and raised his fist, and Naruto was happy to meet him halfway. Souzou admired his sensei and sometimes his admiration turn into something else, but the young genin understood puberty and knew that this too shall pass.

Naruto had no idea how precious he was to his genin cell.

"And?" Souzou prompted. Their sensei looked up and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. He had spaced out there.

"I won't be able to teach you for a month because I will be rebuilding the Team 7 training ground," Naruto said, his smile twitching.

"WHAT?"

"It's not true, ne, sensei-chan? Ne?"

"For a month, sensei? But who will teach us in the meantime?"

Amaya turned to Souzou with a scandalized expression. "How could you ask a question like that? Do you want to get rid of Naru-sensei?"

"Of course not!" the usually collected genin snapped. "I don't like it as much as you two. But I'm sure this is an order of Godaime-sama and we can't do anything about it."

Tomo was already hugging Naruto again as the young man tried to calm him. Sasuke thought with annoyance that this was the dumbest, most idiotic genin team he had ever seen.

"What about us, Naru-sensei?" Amaya cried. Suddenly, her dark blue eyes widened and she pointed at Sasuke. "Don't tell us that he will replace you!" she shrieked.

Sasuke glowered but the distraught kunoichi was too emotional to be afraid. "Naru-sensei, you can't leave us with him! We'll just help you with your punishment! It'd be better than being stuck with—with him!"

"Amaya, don't be rude," Souzou said, rolling his eyes. "He looks adequate enough."

Adequate enough?

Naruto snickered, seeing steam practically rising out of Sasuke's ears. Yes, Uchiha pride was another good source of killing intent from him. His kits were making the game easier for them—however, they were too young to die so Naruto intervened. "Maa, maa, he's not teaching you! We were the ones sparring, remember? So he's rebuilding the training ground with me. My substitute will be along, he's just always late."

The three sighed, resigned to their fates. Tomo tugged at Naruto's shirt, causing the latter to look down at him.

"Na, Tomo-tan?"

"Will it be Sai-nii?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, I think Sai-niisan would be okay," Amaya said in a defeated voice.

He didn't even know that Naruto was a jounin-sensei until today but apparently Sai did?

"I heard my name," a cool, emotionless voice said, coming from the tree on Naruto's far right.

"Sai-nii!" "Sai-niisan!" "Sai-san."

Sai jumped down from the tree he was hiding, a pleasant smile on his lips. "Good morning, Naruto's kits."

"Sai-niisan, will you be our substitute sensei?" Amaya asked as the three genin crowded around him.

"No, Soot," Sai answered. Amaya's hair was the blackest he had ever seen, darker even than his and Uchiha's. No question what he would call her.

"Then why are you here, Sai-nii?" Tomo asked with rounded brown eyes.

"I'm here to guard them," Sai answered, before the smile widened. "Dickless junior."

Tomo didn't know that the nickname was supposed to be insulting—he was just happy to have a nickname similar to his idol. He was more confoundingly innocent than Naruto, though it made him wonder why Amaya would blush whenever she heard that nickname and Souzou would turn away with his ears pink.

"Is it because of the man beside him?" Souzou asked in a skeptical voice.

I can hear you, brats.

"Hokage-sama's orders," Sai said with his trademark smile. "And no worries, Hermit. Uchiha won't hurt him while I'm around."

It had taken a long time before Souzou grudgingly accepted the name Sai had given him in honor of his ponytailed, snow-white hair. He still didn't like it, of course. Meanwhile, behind them, Sasuke's eyes had narrowed into furious slits.

The bastard just didn't imply what he thought he did!

Sasuke lunged into Sai's directions amidst shrieks from the surprised genin. Powerful murderous intent was rushing their way and Sai stood up from his crouch, a wide smile on his face. Sasuke was rapidly firing a set of hand seals when he was grabbed from behind.

"Don't hurt my kits, bastard!" Naruto hissed, holding Sasuke's arms behind the latter's back. "What's your problem?"

"Stay away from him, Naru-sensei!" Amaya shouted.

Even Tomo was glaring at Sasuke. "I don't like you! Stay away from Naru-sensei-chan!"

"Great. Now my kits hate you, teme," Naruto groaned, his forehead dropping on Sasuke's back. Sasuke twitched at the sudden action. The idiot never had respect for personal space. Especially his.

Souzou was eyeing him suspiciously. "Sai-san, you called him Uchiha. Is he the last Uchiha?"

"So what?" Amaya said, annoyed. "There's no one like Naru-sensei in Konoha!"

Sasuke couldn't control his shiver when he felt the light chuckle behind him before the warmth abruptly disappeared. Naruto stepped beside him and placed an arm around his shoulders.

The three genin hissed.

"Kits, kits," Naruto said, raising a free hand to calm his students. "Uchiha Sasuke here is my—"

"NO!" Amaya shrieked. "Don't tell us he's your boyfriend!"

Tomo swiftly turned to their jounin-sensei, dark brown eyes watering. "That's not true, ne? Ne, Naru-sensei-chan? Ne?"

Souzou wouldn't speak as he glared with as much dislike as he could at the tall, dark-haired man standing frozen beside Naruto.

Naruto, meanwhile, had lifted a hand to squeeze the ridge of his nose. Seeing Tsunade do this action a lot when he was around her made him do it at certain times. And it brought a bit of relief, strangely enough.

"Kits, where the hell do you get such crazy ideas?" he asked with admirable patience. Seeing the great relief appearing on the three genin's faces irked Sasuke for some reason, while Naruto suddenly thought of scaring his students once more.

No wonder Kakashi-sensei did that to them a lot. Ooh, the power!

He hid a grin. How fun!

"He's my—" Naruto went on, pulling Sasuke closer to him. Before the latter could understand what's happening, Naruto was nuzzling the area between his neck and shoulder, hot moist breath sending shivers down his spine. He didn't hear the horrified gasps of the students or the amused chuckle of the quietly-observing Sai—all his senses were honed on Naruto's lips lightly blowing on his smooth, white neck.

A strong flood of heat rose up his chest, climbing up his neck at a rapid pace.

"—best friend!" Naruto exclaimed, abruptly lifting his head and giving a victory sign to his shocked students. It took a moment for his students to recover before they started screaming. Even Souzou was yelling.

Naruto glanced to his unmoving friend and saw the bright red on usually flawless white cheeks. He slowly removed his arm, backing away as quietly as he could.

Oh shit Sasuke's mad, Naruto thought. Oh wait. We want him mad. But not when my kits are still here!

The lack of warmth woke Sasuke up from his daze and he hurriedly covered his mortification with ruthlessly cold indifference. He forced his eyes to hone on the blond who was stepping away from him. He wasn't embarrassed. Not at all.

"Look teme, I'm just messing with my kits," Naruto said in a rushed, low voice. "No need to go berserk on me just yet."

A particular shouted remark broke through them.

"I thought Sai-niisan is your best friend, sensei!"

Naruto laughed, turning to Amaya and nodding at Sai's direction. "Anou sa, Sasuke is my best friend. Sai is my special friend."

Sasuke froze.

"Special?" Souzou asked, white eyebrows furrowed.

"So he's your boyfriend?" Amaya asked, slightly miffed. Dark blue eyes glanced at the smiling person in question before sighing. "Oh well. If I can't be your girlfriend when I get older, Sai-niisan would be okay, I guess."

Sasuke stiffened, an action that a perceptive and interested Sai noted. Naruto simply groaned. "What is it with forcing me on boyfriends, Maya-chan? I want a girlfriend, not a boyfriend."

Amaya squealed as her teammates hang their heads in silent dejection. "Then you'll wait for Maya-chan, sensei?"

Naruto gave a quirky smile. "I'm your sensei."

"And you're just almost five years older than me!" Amaya exclaimed. She was about to tackle their sensei into another hug when a pale hand pulled Naruto away.

"Come on," Sasuke said, impatient. "I'm not here to babysit with you."

"Babysit?"

"My substitute is taking too long," Naruto said, trying to placate his best friend and his outraged students. Honestly, he thought Sasuke was acting so immature.

"Oi Sai!" Naruto called. Next to him, Sasuke bristled, the hold on the tan hand that he still hadn't let go tightening. Naruto yelped.

"What, need your special friend?" Sasuke spat out.

"The f—shi—cra—hell's wrong with you?" Naruto hissed, remembering not to cuss in front of his students. The three genin had calmed down in favor of watching the strange interaction.

"What is it, dickless friend?"

Naruto pulled his hand from Sasuke's death grip, glaring at the latter as he rubbed the abused wrist. "It's supposed to be awesome friend, special friend," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "Or maybe I should really just stick to retarded friend."

Sasuke felt a sudden relief after hearing their interaction. That special friend. The idiot meant differently.

He knew he was acting a bit irrational, but he was an Uchiha and Uchiha were possessive. Even if only with their fucking best friends.

He fought the heat that was desperate to manifest itself, suddenly remembering the sensation of lips ghosting over the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

Fucking best friend.

"Can you look for him? Maybe he got lost in the highway of life again," Naruto asked, rolling his eyes again.

"Who's our temporary sensei?" Souzou asked.

"My former sensei Hatake Kakashi," Naruto replied, grinning widely. "Me and Sasuke used to be teammates under Kakashi-sensei, then Sai became my teammate too."

A poofing sound and a silver-haired jounin appeared between Naruto and Sai, the older man rubbing his nape as he turned to three stunned genin.

"Sorry I'm late! I got trampled by elephants and I had to admit myself in the hospital for possible fractures. Don't worry, I'll survive," Kakashi ended with his visible one eye curving in the familiar crescent.

"Liar," Naruto said, fondness evident in his tone. He turned to his students. "Kits, this is the famous Copy Nin Hatake Kakashi. Now be good and we'll be off, na?"

Judging from the glazed expressions of his students, Naruto knew that they were impressed to see a living legend in front of them. He chuckled lightly as he tapped his former sensei on the back.

"Take care of my kits, Kaka-sensei. Ja!"

At Kakashi's nod, the three disappeared in separate whirlwind of leaves.

"Can we take a break now?"

Sasuke ignored the blond whining beside him. He couldn't ignore, however, the other voice that suddenly intruded.

"It's just been 45 minutes, dickless."

"But Saiiiiiiiii," Naruto whined. "We've—"

"Stop whining like a kid, usuratonkachi," Sasuke interrupted with more harshness than necessary. Naruto glared at him and stuck his own tongue out, then stomped to the area where they parked the wheelbarrows loaded with rootballs.

"I'm not a kid!" Naruto yelled as he stomped back. His hands itched to throw the rootballs in his hands on Sasuke's swollen head.

"But your penis gives one the idea that you are," Sai broke in, his voice thoughtful.

"What is it with you and my penis?" Naruto screeched. He suddenly froze at the massive dark aura looming near him, and his blue eyes turned to regard the stoic former Avenger. He felt a slight relief when he realized that the intent to crush wasn't directed at him, but at the self-satisfied ANBU perched on a tree branch.

It seemed that Sai—perceptive and blank Sai who still borrowed reactions from others, the way he borrowed nature with the aid of his canvas and brushes—had noticed as well. "I am merely saddened by the loss of something you never had in the first place, dickless," he said pleasantly. "My apologies for missing the funeral."

The dark aura spiked.

"You bastard!" Naruto shrieked. Suddenly he and Sai had their kunai drawn out, appearing at different spots of the ruined training ground as Naruto attacked and Sai defended. "If you'd get your head out of the gutter you'd realize I'm bigger than you could ever be, asshole!"

"I only need a peephole to see your dick completely," Sai returned smoothly. "Gutter is an overstatement."

Naruto regretted the day he taught Sai sarcasm. Fuck you, Shino! he cursed mentally. Who would have known Aburame Shino would want Sai to learn sarcasm, of all things?

Oh yeah. He thought it was hilarious, the bastard, Naruto fumed. There wasn't even a smile on the bug boy's face when he said that!

"Fuck you!"

The two jumped from each other as electricity suddenly crackled between them. In front of him, Naruto could see the back of the dark head of one Uchiha Sasuke and a left hand that was still covered in cobalt and ice blue. On the other side, Sai's fake smile was plastered on his face.

Sasuke couldn't believe it. It had angered him when Sai had begun taunting the idiot—that dick-obsessed prick—but seeing their verbal spar turn into an actual spar enraged him.

How dare he fight with Naruto the way I—

He faltered.

—the way I did?

"Geez, teme," Naruto groused behind him. "Be a drama queen, why don't you. We're just messing like me and him always do."

Sasuke flinched. He clenched his jaw when, in front of him, Sai gave a superior smirk. He braced himself when the other dark-haired shinobi opened his mouth.

"Have you seen his dick, Uchiha?"

He's taunting him, Naruto thought, surprised. Sai probably knew that Sasuke disliked him with unusual fervor but this was a strange way of using that dislike, in his opinion. How would his dick help in prodding the bastard into a murderous rampage? It didn't make any sense to him.

Besides, Naruto went on, the bastard should be coming after me too. Shaking his head—we should really go over our strategies—Naruto looked up.

"What the fuck?"

The ground was now full of craters, a few with smoke curling up from the remnants of Sasuke's katon jutsu. His eyes traveled around, following the path of destruction until his blue eyes landed on the edge of the training ground.

His fists clenched.

Sure, Naruto wanted to complete this round of their game too. But at this rate, fixing the training ground would take longer than a fucking month!

"Teme!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he suddenly met a pair of burning blue eyes. His stance faltered but he couldn't stop his momentum as his blade sliced down.

And struck the hand that was grasping his shirt.

Naruto's hand.

Shit.

Naruto instinctively released his hold and cradled the bleeding slash wound with his other hand. Sai immediately whipped out an antiseptic and a roll of bandage—the two were always prepared during game month. Watching the two working quietly, systematically, familiarly, Sasuke restrained the shaking of his hand as he placed his katana back in its sheath.

"Don't fuss too much, Sai-kaasan," Naruto taunted, hissing at the sting of antiseptic. "It'd be completely healed later."

But he couldn't restrain the anger that suddenly exploded once again. "Why did you come between us, dobe?" Sasuke spat out.

"So only you can do that?" the younger man snapped back. "Look around you, bastard. You made the training ground look like a fucking pimpled teenager!"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you defending him?"

"What the fuck are you on about?" Naruto exclaimed, exasperated. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Change tactics. "Look, Sasuke. We should be working together here."

Sasuke was gritting his teeth. "You didn't answer my question."

"Because it's a stupid question!" he shot back, patience immediately gone. "Why would I defend the asshole?"

"I'd hate to interrupt your lovers' spat but we have an audience, you know," an amused voice intruded. Two pairs of eyes glared in the direction of the mocking voice before the blue pair suddenly brightened.

"RAMEN!"

"Why are you here?" Sasuke asked, dark eyes still glowering at the silver-haired jounin. "You're supposed to be babysitting."

"KITS!"

"Naru-sensei-chan!"

"Naru-sensei!"

As the two affectionate genin clung to Naruto, Souzou handed the bag of takeout ramen to their sensei. "We thought you might be hungry."

"And we're going to help you!" Tomo chirped.

"Kakashi-sensei said it would be great training!" Amaya added.

Naruto's left eye twitched as he turned to the masked shinobi now reclining on a tree branch, reading his classic once again. "Is that so?"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?" the kunoichi shrieked as she got down to her feet, finally noticing the bandage that wasn't there less than an hour ago.

"Maa, maa, it's nothing," their jounin-sensei waved off, now slurping on a ramen as he sat cross-legged on the ground.

Souzou's green eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the aloof Uchiha, who had started to walk away. "It was that man, wasn't it? It couldn't be Sai-san. He'd never hurt you this way."

Sasuke stiffened.

"It was an accident," Naruto said softly. "Anyway," he paused as he slurped once again. "it takes more than a blade to hurt Uzumaki Naruto!" He flashed his genin a brilliant smile. "So stop getting worked up every time, na, Souzou?" His smile was gentler and the white-haired genin had to turn away to hide the flush on his cheeks. Tomo began to ask why Souzou looked so red and Amaya had to shut him up.

"Oi Sasuke, Sai!" Naruto called out, now on his third ramen. "There's ramen here!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but went to where Naruto was sitting, anyway. He was still pissed off for reasons he didn't want to delve into right now, but he felt better that he and Naruto weren't biting each other's head off again.

Sai, meanwhile, decided to simply sit on the tree branch above Kakashi and observe. After what he had seen today and the other day, Sai had a pretty good idea of what would make Uchiha Sasuke explode. And because he knew that he and Naruto would end up in the hospital by the end of the game, Sai would make sure that he enjoyed himself immensely with every step of the way.

Starting by asking Naruto to bring him a basket of tomatoes next morning.

"Stop drooling over my ramen, dobe."

"How dare you call Naru-sensei a dobe?"

"I don't like you! Stay away from sensei-chan!"

"I'm not drooling, te—chicken head!"

Sai couldn't wait for tomorrow.

Notes:

Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou

(Eight Divination Signs, One-Hundred and Twenty-Eight Palms of the Hand) Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou is a Taijutsu technique unique to the Hyuuga bloodline. Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou is a variation of Hakke Rokujuuyonshou, a technique passed down through the main family line. When an opponent is within the clan members divination field of attack, they can quickly begin their assault. The technique allows the clan member to use the Byakugan eye to make nearly double the normal 126 strikes, striking 254 times against their individual foe or opponents. First the clan member will strike 2 times, then 4, 8, 16, 32, 64 and finally 128 times.

Shugo Hakke Rokujuuyonshou

(Guardian Eight Divination Signs, Sixty-Four Palms of the Hand) Shugo Hakke Rokujuuyonshou is a Taijutsu technique developed by Hyuuga Hinata. During the period after the Chuunin Exam, Hinata pushed herself harder than ever before. During this time she improved her chakra control and developed her own style within the Hyuuga bloodline abilities. She practiced the technique around water to hone it to perfection. Utilizing the Hakke Rokujuuyonshou style, Hinata uses her natural flexibility and her precise chakra control to create an absolute defense. Hinata will emit chakra from her palms and move her arms in sweeping pattern movements to provide a full 360 degree range of protection for her body. This chakra will also be able to cut through most any target which dares penetrate the protective sphere. By expelling a sharper, stronger, and more flexible amount of chakra, she can increase its effectiveness against more massive incoming objects.