Many thanks to the good dr. for my one and only review ^^. As of yet this is an unbetaed chapter, so I apologize if it has any major problemos. Hopefully I'll be able to edit a bit in a short time.

All characters except for Lady Serenity are completely within canon. If you don't believe me, look them up on the Harry Potter Lexicon. If I do make another OC I will let you know, but if there is nothing up here, then that person is in the canon HPverse. I might take certain liberties on their looks, personalities, heritage, or beliefs, but they do exist as a name.

Barnabas the Barmy was an incredibly creepy tapestry that depicted some batty wizard attempting to teach trolls how to dance ballet.

…

For the fifth time on the seventh floor, Eloise had walked past this incredible act of stupidity. Unfortunately, with absolutely nothing happening, Eloise suspected she might be being taken for a ride. After all, that note had said to walk by it three times, and as Eloise walked passed it for her sixth time with no difference on either side of the wall, her suspicions were being confirmed.

This whole thing was incredibly farfetched anyway. Two random Ravenclaws send her a letter involving their all-too-perfect new headmistress, and she was supposed to believe them just like that?

No. This whole thing was a pile of dragons' dung. Lana or whatever her name was and that Mary girl were probably laughing at her from some safe distance. With. Out. A. Doubt.

"What are you doing?"

Eloise whirled around to come face to face with some Gryffindor. The Gryffindor had light brown hair tied neatly into two straight braids, her complexion was completely clear (Eloise noted only slightly enviously) and she had stunningly pretty blue eyes. She looked young, most likely a first or second year. "Nothing. Nothing at all, why do you ask?" Eloise asked turning a bit red. She must look like an absolute fool…

"Oh…then…could you…could you leave? Please?" The small Gryffindor teetered nervously craning her neck, as if she was afraid some giant monster would rear its head from the shadows and bite her head off at any second.

"Two batty Ravenclaws didn't tell you to come here did they?" Eloise asked suspiciously.

The girl shook her head vigorously. "No. I—uh…well…" She seemed a bit unnaturally timid, and had an almost deathly glow to her. Clearly, she needed to get some sun.

She glanced longingly at the wall across from the tapestry. "Please…" she pleaded in a mortified whisper. "Please…just…go…I…I don't want to get in trouble…"

"Oi, oi, what's going on here?" came a voice from directly behind them. This voice came from a Slytherin who was much older than the timid Gryffindor.

The Gryffindor looked as if Christmas had come early. "Astoria, she…she won't leave, and I'm scared she might…she might be…" She trailed off.

Astoria walked up to Eloise. Astoria had black wavy hair cut shoulder length and dark brown eyes. Astoria narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here?" She asked suspiciously.

Eloise shrugged. "If I could tell you, I would. Two loons from Ravenclaw told me something about walking past this tapestry three times, and being the gullible idiot I am, I listened to them."

Astoria brightened. "Luna?" She asked. "You must be Eloise then right?"

Eloise took a step back from shock. "She…what…do I know you?"

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Astoria Greengrass. Fourth year. This is Natalie Macdonald." She said, motioning to the Gryffindor. "Third year."

Eloise stifled a snort. She would have never guessed that this Gryffindor-Natalie- was thirteen. She barely looked eleven.

Astoria began to walk past the tapestry. "C'mon Midgeon. Follow me."

Two more times they walked past the tapestry. Eloise had stopped believing any of this long ago. This had to be all some sort of sick joke. Some incredibly sick joke.

But, as they walked past it for the third time, Eloise let out an involuntary gasp. There, directly across the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy, was a door, that was definitely not there before.

Astoria opened the door, and Eloise dumbly walked in without a words protest.

It was unnaturally large for a room in Hogwarts. It was decorated with the banners of the four houses, and the walls were positively stacked with books. In the corner there was a glass case with a weird stone basin. The center of the room featured a slight incline that had multiple plush chairs and tables.

"What…the…" Eloise stuttered, at a loss for words.

"Eloise!" Came a voice, and Eloise saw Marietta and Luna eagerly coming towards her.

Luna smiled dreamily. "I was worried that Aphrodite had gotten to you. She does have the power of the Vampire Head an-"

"Ah shut it Luna" Marietta grumbled momentarily before catching herself. "Sorry, force of habit."

Luna shrugged it off as if she hadn't even heard it. Eloise was momentarily impressed. What gave Luna such an ability to not even be vaguely annoyed at that? Eloise knew that if someone had told her to shut up in such a tone, she would at least make sure to bare a healthy grudge at that person for a good week or so.

"So, where…are we, exactly?" Eloise asked, once the novelty of the situation began to wear out.

Marietta blushed slightly, as if the whole situation had a bigger problem. "The…the Room of Requirement."

Astoria nodded. "We are trying to find anyone not totally in love with the she-warlock."

Eloise looked around. It was largely Ravenclaws. But Eloise recognized Rose Zellers, Laura Madley, and Megan Jones from her house. From what she could tell, Natalie and Astoria were the only two from Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively.

But, much more largely, there were no boys. Only girls. It at first struck Eloise as odd, until she realized that most of the boys were probably drooling over the new Headmistress. Scratch that. ALL of the boys.

"So, then what do you do here normally?" Eloise asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

"Well, most of us want to actually learn our subjects." Mandy Brockelhurst piped up waving her Charms book to emphasize it.

Eloise could understand that. Lately, none of the teachers had been teaching them anything. Classes now served as a place to gossip, or get fanservice.

"Although, it's mostly just a place we can talk freely. I think you've noticed by now that if you speak badly about Serenity, people tend to get…aggravated?" Marietta interjected.

Eloise nodded in agreement, but she couldn't but help to feel a bit disappointed. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but something like a full scale rebellion seemed to be more along the lines of her thought process. This…This was just a social group to be entirely honest.

Just a social group. Eloise detested that sort of thing. It reminded her of her fourth year back during the Yule ball how everyone had literally formed packs in attempts to ask out that one particular boy or girl they liked. It was all sickening. Even Eloise herself had gotten caught up in it and had attempted to charm off her acne-

Unfortunately, she had blasted most of her nose off instead and need to be sent to the hospital wing. She had ended up missing the Yule Ball, but Eloise had grown up a lot because of that incident. Starting with the promise to never get involved in any social group or social event unless she wanted major disasters to occur.

Astoria sighed. "Well, I'm gonna play a game of Exploding Snap if anyone wants to join me."

Natalie gave a quick nod of agreement, and it quieted down, as everyone settled to engage in various activities.

For the first time in her life, Eloise really, really wished there were some boneheaded Gryffindors around.

A couple of Days later…

"So, what do you think Harry? If Sirius is your god father, and he is alive again, and he is the teacher of Defense of Dark Arts, do you think that you could get him to let me retake the test?"

Harry snapped out of his daze, to return his full attention to Neville. "Err, sure, Neville, I'll, I'll ask him about that."

Neville smiled happily and his roundish fat face lit up. "Really Harry? Gee, that's great! You're the best!"

Harry momentarily let his hand trail to his scar, before sighing, and retreated back to his dinner in the Grand Hall.

"Sumtin' wrong 'Arry?" Ron asked amidst his chewing.

"The Dating Service results are here today. Lady Serenity picks her one true love, and pairs everyone else up as well." Harry said wistfully, looking at Ron with his deep green eyes.

Ron sighed for a moment, almost regretfully. "Yeah, yeah it is."

Harry frowned. "What's wrong Ron?"

Ron looked mournfully at Harry as he swallowed the last of his food. "Well, at least you have a CHANCE with her. I mean, you're Harry Potter. The Chosen one. I'm Ron Weasley. The lousy Sidekick."

Harry groaned. "Ron, c'mon mate, she's a decade older than me or something. She'll probably choose Sirius or something." This was a complete lie of course. But Ron didn't need to know that. Harry would just have to act surprised when Lady Serenity picked him.

" 'Sides Ron, you'll be paired with another girl, and everything will work out." Seamus pointed out.

"Yeah, there has to be someone you would like" Dean interjected.

"Especially since the uniform change" Seamus cackled.

Most of the girls had accepted the uniform change with enthusiasm. It had done wonders to their appearance. Harry found himself unable to keep his eyes off of them. Lady Serenity was truly a genius. He honestly had no idea that girls had such long legs…

Ron mumbled something incoherent, and went back to eating his food. Ron actually had a pretty clear idea of who he would like to be paired up with. Not that he would admit it to anyone. He barely admitted to himself, let alone his fellow dorm mates. Somewhere, in the deep crevices of his head, it was astoundingly clear who he would like to be with.

Normally, such thoughts would have been pushed aside and ignored, but in the new environment set up by Lady Serenity, (not just the clothing mind you, simply the fact that she practically oozed romance from her every pore) it had flourished prematurely, and had over taken Ron like a landslide. Hermione. Granger.

Ron couldn't help but feel a bit more confident in these terms. After all, Hermione was no Lady Serenity- he didn't have to worry about any chosen ones butting in dramatically.

Yep. Everything would work out all right. Somehow.

Halfway across the Grand hall, Astoria was having a mental breakdown.

She hadn't meant to, it had almost slipped out. No, that wasn't true, some part of her had trusted him, and now she just knew she would pay the price. Of course, he hadn't done anything yet. Yet being the key word.

Astoria Greengrass had told someone about the room of requirement. She had told a boy about the room of requirement. She felt like such an idiot.

No. She had to relax. Just because every other boy was in some sort of sick love trance with the new headmistress, didn't mean that Blaise Zabini was in that same sick love trance.

Who was she kidding? Of course he was! Of course he was! He was a guy! Well, there was the small possibility he wasn't attracted to girls. But Astoria highly doubted that, call it intuition, but when one caught the same guy drooling over the new miniskirts like every other boy in Hogwarts, it was pretty logical to assume he had the exact same tastes.

Speaking of miniskirts, those new uniforms were the devil incarnate if she had ever seen one. Luckily, they weren't mandatory (yet), so while she saved herself from dressing skimpily, nothing could save her eyes.

Her, poor, poor, eyes. Those outfits were never meant to be worn by womankind, unless you were ungodly disproportional.

At the moment, Blaise was in some discussion with Draco Malfoy. Malfoy was cute in some aspects, but he honestly, he needed to learn to eat once in a while. He was also apparently a Death Eater or something, or at least that's what the rumor mill said. She didn't believe it though. He didn't seem tough enough frankly speaking. Astoria saw no problem with muggle borns. Sure, they were bloody ignorant and way to easily fascinated by any picture that moved, but it was a pretty large leap between 'being annoyed with them' and 'killing them all'.

After all, Natalie was a muggle born, and despite constantly looking like she was going to be run over by a hippogriff (Honestly, how did that girl end up in Gryffindor?) she was nice enough, and a whiz at exploding snap.

"Attention! Attention! Quiet everyone!" Lady Serenity cried out in her sing song voice. Of course, everyone did quiet down immediately. Almost everyone was anxious to find out their one true pairing.

Lady Serenity smiled as her dazzling eyes sparkled with more intensity then Dumbledores ever could. Naturally, after all, Dumbledores twinkle was clouded with manipulation. It was no wonder such a man resigned.

"I am proud to announced the first session of the Owl Dating Service has come to an end." She said cheerfully. Aphrodite purred in agreement.

"First, I would like to announce who I, Lady Serenity Isabella Maria Raven Capulet, choose Draco Malfoy as my one true love!"

The Slytherin table clapped uproariously and eventually the other three tables joined in as well. Many of them did not know who this 'Draco Malfoy' character was, and those who did, knew him only as the Slytherin Seeker.

Draco stood up graciously and accepted his chair next to Lady Serenity without hesitation. The smug grin was quite apparent.

"Next, I would like to say Harry Potter, The Chosen One, shall be with Hermione Granger!"

More general applause, as the big part was over. It was a bit anti-climactic, to have the main bachelorette gone in the first couple of minutes, and some could say poorly planned, but no one complained.

"Cedric Diggory with Cho Chang!"

There were more names paired together, and many people attempted to see a pattern, but there was none. At first the students assumed friendship was the key to the pairings, but that was thrown out once Lavender Brown was paired up with Theodore Nott. Most of the students finally assumed that it was merely destiny, and one shouldn't really be questioning Lady Serenitys' all powerful reasoning.

Finally, the announcement came to an end. Everyone settled down to eat, or escape with their newly declared true loves to a more private area.

But, some names were not called. Ron and Ginny Weasleys' name were not called for one. Neither were Colin Creevey or Anthony Goldstein for that matter.

However, that night, Ron wasn't thinking about his sister, or anyone else who hadn't been mentioned. All he was thinking about was how cruel fate was. It wasn't fair. How had Harry gotten Hermione? He was supposed to end up with Cho Chang, or maybe Parvati. Not Hermione. Anyone but Hermione.

Of course, Hermione had been absolutely thrilled. She had beamed when their names were called, and she immediately planted a kiss on Harry. It absolutely horrified him in some way. Any possibility that might have been there, was gone. Forever.

Harry couldn't have been more oblivious from the death glares he was receiving. He was humming some sort of tuneless song, and had a lopsided grin on his face.

"Hey uh…Harry?" Ron asked sheepishly.

Harry blinked. "Yeah Ron? What?" He asked in a confused voice. It sounded a bit odd, but Ron couldn't pinpoint the reason. Maybe he had a cold.

"I was…I was just wondering why you're so happy about being with Hermione. I mean, didn't you want Lady Serenity?" Ron said with gritted teeth. He clenched his bed post in order to stop himself from doing anything impulsive. Luckily, Seamus and Dean were somewhere else with Padma and Parvati. Neville hadn't signed up last time, so he was busy filling out his form for the next Owl Dating Service. With Harry being in some sort of odd state of obliviousness, no one took the time to look at Rons awkward position.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, I did, but hey, Hermione is still amazing. I mean, if I didn't get here, who knows who she might have been paired with? She could have been paired with you for gods sake!" He said, nearly laughing at his final sentence, as if it was some sick punch line.

Ron blinked. He must have misheard Harry. Or, something like that. From where he was standing, it almost sounded like Harry was saying that he and Hermione would have been a disaster.

"And…why…would you say that Harry?" He asked in a raspy voice, fairly sure he had forgotten to breathe by now.

Harry snickered. "Well think about it Ronnie. I'm the Chosen One. You're some perverted redneck who just uses everyone else to get what you want." Harry said, as if simply stating fact.

Ron paled. He felt his jaw drop, and gaped at Harry. "What the bloody hell is your problem?" He hissed, trying not to shout. Bloody Hell. Strange, he rarely used that word before, but it had a nice ring to it…

Harry laughed some more. "Wait, you actually thought you had a chance with her didn't you? Oh, this is precious. Ickle Ronniekins actually thought he could get a girl to like him. Don't be so delusional Weasley. I swear, sometimes it's like an anvil hit your head or something you're so stupid. Do you honestly think that Hermione could ever- no scratch that- any girl would ever even think of liking such a despicable git like-"

Harry would have continued. He really would have. He would have gone on to mention the only not worthless members of his family were Fred and George, and he was a spoiled brat. But he never got the chance. The last thing he saw was a fist coming towards him at impossible speeds. The fist hit him square in the nose, and everything went black.

Neville immediately heard the commotion and widened his eyes in fear as he saw the scene. "Ron…how…how could you? Don't you have any heart at all?" He asked in dumbstruck horror.

Ron gawked at him. "Me? Harry…he…he…started it! He was…"

Neville narrowed his eyes. "Yeah I heard him. I can't believe you. He was trying to be nice Ron! God, is the truth so hard to hear?" He kneeled down next to the unconscious body of Harry. "It's ok Harry, I'll get the headmistress, and everything will be ok, and that good for nothing bastard will get what's coming to him."

Ron didn't do anything. It was like his insides had frozen and icicles had pinned him to the ground. Even as Neville yelled for help, he didn't try to run away. Even when Lady Serenity showed up in a furious blaze of fire, Ron couldn't find the strength in him to run. It didn't matter, though. Even if he could run, he couldn't hide. Not from the all powerful Headmistress Capulet.

To Be Continued