Author's Note: The story goes on…enjoy!
-Kogalover0809

Ch. 19 Courage to Forgive

"No! No no no. There is no way I'm going to let you just waltz up to him and let you "talk" things through," Koga shouted. He was already pacing back in forth in from of Kagome who had quickly put a finger to her lips, motioning him to keep his voice down. He stopped pacing and took a step closer to her, "Kagome are you sure you have your head on straight? I mean what happened to not wanting to ever be near him, or letting him touch you. You know there is no way I can just sit back and watch you have a normal conversation with him." Koga took in a deep breath trying to calm his already flaring temper.

"Please," Kagome whispered, "try to keep your voice down! First of all I asked that you accompany me so that I know I'm safe. Second I never said that I was going to let him touch me. Plus you know why I'm doing this, I already explained." Kagome turned and walked over to Kotomi who was sleeping in her bassinet. "I want her to be able to see him, for her to just meet him at least once. But not just that Koga, I want to end this all. I don't want to harbor these vindictive feelings against him. I know what he did was wrong, and it's taking all the strength I have in me to forgive him, but I know it's what I have to do."

Koga stared at her in awe. "You're really going to forgive that bastard? Fuck Kagome." She winced when he cursed at her, but she knew that no woman in their right mind would ever forgive a guy for doing something like that to her. He wrecked havoc on their lives, broke them until they were almost un-repairable. She knew that it hurt Koga because he wasn't ready to forgive Inuyasha, or even himself.

Kagome walked up to Koga and placed his head on her shoulder, she could feel the warmth of his tears soak through her shirt. It made her heart swell up inside knowing that she was reopening an unhealed wound. But it was something that had to be done, at least now rather than later. Koga lifted his head and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry Kagome; I didn't mean to yell at you. I just don't want a repeat of what happened before…" he said solemnly before she silenced him with a kiss.

"Let's not worry about it right now," she said tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Come one it's late, we should get ready for bed." Kagome swiftly changed into a pair of her pajamas and tucked herself under the blanket huddling as close as she could to a shirtless Koga. She firmly pressed her head close to his chest and intertwined her fingers in his. It was nice this way, having him so close to her. "I love you Koga."

"I love you too Kagome."

"So I see you've made your choice," Sango said taking Ichiro from Miroku's arms. Kagome nodded watching Kotomi steady herself on the small matt on the floor. Shippou immediately moved to her side and started to make silly sounds that made Kotomi giggle. Kagome watched as Kotomi attempted to pull on Shippou's fiery hair, trying with all her might to stay balanced while reaching to grasp the small pony. She smiled to herself noting how adorable her child was.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this Kagome?" Miroku questioned, "I mean it's never too late to change your mind right now, before anything serious happens."

Kagome smiled at her friends, she knew they were only concerned for her, maybe more so for Inuyasha's security than her own. "I've made up my mind. There's no turning back now, besides Koga already agreed."

"He did?" Shippou asked, taking the words right out of Sango and Miroku's mouths.

Kagome nodded, "In fact, I'm meeting him outside right now." She slowly picked up Kotomi in her arms, and stood up. "Wish me luck." Her friends stared in shock as she calmly walked out the small hut. In all actuality Kagome had never been more scared in her life, but she put up a front so that nobody would notice…not even herself.

As she stepped outside in to the blazing heat she spotted Koga standing impatiently, his arms crossed over his chest. He was staring out into the forest, eyes peering like daggers, searching for Inuyasha. Kagome approached him with ease, placing her hand gently on his arm.

"Are you ready?"

He gave a small huff, "If anything happens out there, if he even lays a hand on you he's dead Kagome. I won't be able to hold myself back anymore." She nodded and looped her arm around his, leaving Kotomi to straddle her hip.

They proceeded towards the forest, their steps making soft crunching noises on the fallen leaves. It was quiet, the silence that was between them left Kagome feeling vulnerable. Even Kotomi's usual cheerfulness had faded into a small lull.

"Do you think he knows we're coming?" she asked tentatively.

Koga growled and in a deep voice responded, "He's already waiting." Koga lifted his arm and pointed towards an opening in the trees. Her eyes followed his gaze and she stopped abruptly when brown clashed with gold. Had he been standing there the whole time?

Kagome's arms slid out from Koga's and pulled Kotomi closer to her body. What was she thinking seeking out Inuyasha like this? She wasn't ready to face him, not yet. Her body began to pump blood faster through her veins giving her limbs a numbing sensation. Her breathing hitched slightly, but she tried to pull herself together, gathering as much courage as she could. After all this was for the better, wasn't it?

"Are you really going to go through with this Kagome? We can always turn back?" Koga asked determined to get her as far away from here as possible. She shook her head.

"I have to." She let out a soft sigh. "Trust me, everything will be okay. Will you wait here?"

Koga clenched his fists in irritation, but he mutely agreed. Slowly he bent down and kissed her, then turned and gave Kotomi a kiss on her forehead. She looked up and gave him a bubbly smile that melted him to the core. "Be safe, my love."

Kagome smiled, and then turned to walk towards the half-breed. Her heart was hammering in her chest. What was she going to say? Or even do?

As she neared Inuyashsa her steps became slower, trying to be wary of his presence. He looked as he always had, but his face held a different emotion that she had never seen before-sadness. His eyes were lowered to the ground and his ears were flattened against his head.

"H..hello Inuyasha," Kagome managed. It wasn't much but it was still something. He looked up at her and then to Kotomi. She nodded, "I guess you already know that she's yours. Her name's Kotomi. I didn't know if you knew or if you'd even come back." She paused trying to figure out the right words to say, allowing the silence to grow with each passing minute.

"Kagome…I," he began but she shook her head violently and placed her hand up to stop him from saying any more.

"Please just let me finish," she quickly said her voice an octave lower than it was a moment ago. "Yes Kotomi is your child, and yes I was hoping that one day you would be able to meet her because she is yours. You are rightfully her father by blood, but Koga is her true father. I just wanted to make that clear to you." Inuyasha's ears trembled and pulled themselves tighter to his head at her words, for they were true.

Kagome paused reflecting on what she was about to say next. "Look I know that you were hurt Inuyasha, but that didn't give you the right to do what you did to me. Nor do I ever wish that on any other woman. What you did was unforgivable, and you made me feel less of the person that I was." As she spoke tears started to fall down her face, she tried to hold them back and show him that she was strong, but they had a mind of their own and fell slowly down her face.

"I really wish that it was easier this all behind me, and just forgive you. You don't know how hard this is for me," she whispered forcing the words out. "You were everything to me Inuyasha, and then you went hurt not just me but your friends as well. How do I forgive something like that? Tell me how?" she begged.

"Kagome…"

She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. "What I'm going to say next Inuyasha is the truth…and as hard as it is for me to say it, I really mean it because even after all that you put me through you still hold special place in my heart. Those past feelings aren't something that I can easily forget."

Inuyasha quickly glanced across the forests at Koga who looked like he was about to pounce the instant anything happened.

"Inuyasha…I forgive you." With those words a loud sigh was heard, and the tension that was growing between the two slowly gave way. "Although that doesn't mean I want you around me. I still can hardly stand the sight of you, but you are the father of my child. And I won't keep her forever separated from you. So…promise me one thing." Kagome looked down at Kotomi who was intrigued by the hanyou in front of her. "Promise me that you'll at least visit her from time to time. Let her know that you love her, because I know that you do."

"Kagome I…I'm sorry." Inuyasha took a step closer, taking a note that Koga was still watching. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. And I know what I did was wrong, more than wrong it wasn't right. What Kikyou did to me was wrong, but what I did to you was worse. I don't know what came over me. I can't trust myself when I'm around you anymore, because I don't ever want that to happen again."

"Hearing you say that you forgive me, I don't deserve it Kagome. But I know that's who you are and that's the girl I fell in love with, but me being the idiot that I am went after the wrong girl." He shrugged trying to play it off and apologize to the best of his ability. She knew he was trying, and his last words tore at her heart.

"I promise I will be there for her, and I know that Koga is as much her father as I am…no he's more of a father than I am. But I promise Kagome."

Kagome choked back tears that threatened to roll down her face again, she felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest. She looked down at Kotomi who had a confused look, unsure of all the things going on around her.

"Kotomi…would you like to meet your daddy?" Kotomi smiled up at Kagome. Removing her from her hip, she approached Inuyasha making sure not to allow her to get too close or Koga would probably maul him.

"Here Inuyasha…meet Kotomi."

She placed the little baby girl in his arms knowing with all sincerity that she would be safe there. Kotomi looked back at Kagome and her bottom lip quivered.

"Kotomi, that's a pretty name," Inuyasha said. At the sound of his voice Kotomi looked up, amber eyes meeting gold. She stared at him for a while not knowing who he was. Inuyasha felt that she could see everything past him, all his mistakes and regrets. He was about to pass her back to Kagome, when she broke a small gummy grin and gave him a tiny giggle. Inuyasha nuzzled her close to him, trying to soak up the few moments he would have with her. A small smile broke on his lips; she was just like her mother.

Kagome smiled at the scene. This is what she wanted, for everyone to be happy, to look past regrets and mistakes. Everyone was capable of errors, but not everyone was capable to forgive. She was glad that she was one of the few that could. Although she would forever be cautious of Inuyasha's presence, this was a good start.

Koga crossed his arms and leaned into the bark of a tree. He sighed to himself as he watched the small girl smile up at Inuyasha. Even though this was probably one of the hardest things he'd ever done, he knew it was right. Kagome was a wonderful woman in many ways, forgiveness being one of her many strong points. And damn he loved her more for it.

Well what do you think? Did I go too easy on Inuyasha? Anyways more to come…review please. :)