My most sincere apologies for the long wait. Honestly, this chapter had been mostly written this whole time. I never start posting a story until the whole thing is blocked out begining to end, and completely written, if not polished. So the ending is what I had planned. It just seemed as the episodes actually progressed that it was kind of futile to finished this when it got more and more AU. But thank you for your kind reviews and private messages asking me for the last chapter. So, finally, here it is.

Heart Weary

Chapter Five

Sam found himself sliding in and out of sleep over the next week or so, without a lot of control over it. This, predictably, prompted Dean to point out that Narcolepsy could be a side effect of brain surgery. Bobby whacked him upside the head since Sam didn't have the energy (or ability, truth be told) to sit up and do it himself.

Sometimes Sam woke up with Jessica. But those times were few and getting fewer. More often he woke up thinking that the hospital was all a dream, Dean wasn't really there, and asking for Jessica. Dean would gently point out that Jessica was 'away' or 'out' and try to humor him until he went back to sleep, or his mind cleared.

Other times Sam woke, he was convinced that Dean was angry with him and leaving Every time Dean would desperately work to reassure his brother that yes, he was there, and no, he wasn't angry nor leaving. Other times Sam was lucid, and for a complete turnabout, Dean would force a discussion on a reluctant Sam.

The lucid times gradually began to win out, and Dean began to wear Sam's distrust down. When one is stuck in bed, one really is the ultimate captive audience. Although a lot was hazy for Sam, a few things did stick out.

The first was that Dean never seemed to leave the room. Sam never once woke up without Dean by his side. If Sam was awake, sometimes Bobby would force Dean to leave to shower in the residents facilities, or sleep in a nearby chair. But not once did Sam wake, even slightly, without Dean right there beside him.

The conversations with Bobby after the older man had forced Dean out of the room bore the most fruit for Sam. From Bobby, Sam learned what Dean had been up to while Sam had been prepared to take down Lillith. Apparently Dean had come back about 36 hours after their original fight. That was after heavy drinking, trying to hussle pool while three sheets to the wind, then sleeping it off (24 hours of sleeping it off). When he'd woken up sober (finally) his anger had burned out (well, mostly, according to Bobby. Completely, according to Dean) and he went looking for Sam. By the time he'd realized Sam was gone, he'd contacted Bobby.

"Dean was beside himself. He came to me after he'd tried to track you down himself. Finding nobody at your motel room, and tiny pieces of a phone in a dumpster there, made a real impact. He was beside himself when he reached my place. I could hardly understand him."

Bobby shot a wry look at Sam. "He just couldn't believe that he couldn't track you down. I told him again what I told him when he came back from downstairs - if you didn't want ta be found, you ain't gonna be found."

Sam squirmed, embarrassed all over again, and plucked at the blanket. He looked beseechingly at the older man. "Man, I'm sorry Bobby. When are you ever going to let that go?"

Bobby waved a dismissive hand. "I already forgave you. I knew what you were going through. Just don't ever do it again!" He pointed a stern finger at Sam, who nodded dejectedly. "To me OR your brother."

Sam opened his mouth to point out that Dean had left HIM, but a raised eyebrow from Bobby made him reconsider.

After a pause, Bobby continued. "Like I said, the boy was beside himself. Feeling guilty as all get out, and not able to find you. He turned up stones in places I didn't know existed. Then Ruby showed up."

"Ruby!" Sam was astonished.

"Yep, Ruby. Go figure. It wasn't a match made in heaven," Bobby said wryly, with characteristic understatement.

Sam snorted. That was glossing over what had to be the most major fireworks show since the fourth of July. "Unholy alliance," Sam muttered, the irony not lost on him.

Bobby just smirked, and they were both silent a moment. Sam was just in awe all over again at what his brother would do for him. Essentially anything.

Bobby cleared his throat ostensibly and continued more gently. "They tracked where you met Lillith, the same way you did, I expect. And we got there just as you finished taking down the whole bunch of 'em. Just in time to see you drop like somebody had cut your strings."

There was silence once again as Sam took it in. And he almost missed Bobby adding under his breath, "Just like Cold Oak all over again."

Sam's eyes narrowed. "You did keep him from doing anything stupid this time?" Sam looked sharply at Bobby. "Didn't you!"

"Yes!" Bobby snapped back. "And only because you were still breathin'!"

Sam relaxed again in relief.

"Just . . . don't give up on your brother again, kid," Bobby added softly.

"Me?" Sam looked up in surprise.

"You. He ain't leaving you anymore than you're leaving him. So trust him a tad more. I can guarantee he'll be trusting you from now on," Bobby said knowingly.

Sam nodded slowly as the truth of that sunk in. "And he won't be letting me out of his sight for a long time, either," he commented wryly.

"That too," Bobby nodded with a grin.

******SNSNSNS*******

The Implala sat on the side of the road in the bright sun. Sam sat on the hood, leaning back, face to the sun. He soaked up the warmth, and enjoyed just being out. Sipping the iced tea (all Dean would let him have, the ass), he opened his eyes as his brother cleared his throat. Instantly wary, the opened his eyes and looked at his brother's back.

Dean was leaning on the front quarter panel, looking away from Sam, sipping his beer. "Uh, so, about Lillith."

The only way Dean could bring up a difficult subject, Sam thought wryly. He knew Dean had been hiding something. It was subtle, but Sam could tell. But frankly, he just hadn't had the energy to find out what it was.

Between the fuzzy weeks of waking up and not knowing reality, the recovery, and quite honestly, the grief of losing Jess again, Sam had been content to drift. He was just comfortable knowing that Dean was by his side and in control once again. Big brother mode in spades, but still, Sam was happy to let him deal. The fact that Dean seemed to trust him (well as much as he could all things considered) and that their relationship seemed to be healing was enough for him.

Sam took a sip of his beer. Finally, here it was. About time too. With Lillith dead, they needed to make some plans. "Yeah?"

"Lillith isn't dead."

It took Sam a minute for that to sink in. He stared off into the distance, beer forgotten. Then turned to his brother sharply. "What? No. Oh, she's dead alright. I know!"

Dean looked at him with compassion. "No, Sammy, she's not. Ruby checked. Lillith jumped ship. A split second before you got her. Man, I'm sorrybut , she's alive and kicking. Lying low, but alive. Ruby told me while you were in surgery." Dean looked away, pain on his face. And added softly, but Sam heard anyway, "And wasn't that a kick in the teeth."

For his part, Sam was just staring in shock with his mouth hanging open. He'd done all that for nothing? Man he just couldn't do anything right, could he. Before he could blow, Dean broke in, looking him dead in the eye.

"Sam, you have her on the run. She's more afraid of you now than ever. We'll get her, the conventional way. No more powering up."

Before Sam could get angry, Dean finished his thought. "I'm not sitting in a hospital for a month hoping you wake up from exploding your brain again. Not ever. No, we go after her. But we find some new exercisioms, some new demon killing weapon like the knife. Bobby's working on that. You did good, Sam. We're whole again, and we're strong. We can do this," Dean finished strongly. Confidently.

Sam shut his mouth. Whatever he thought was useless in the face of Dean's confident strength. They always had been stronger together. He nodded briefly and looked back out at the scenery, absently taking another sip of his beer. A squeeze on his shoulder from a strong hand strengthened his resolve. They would conquer. After all, how could they not?

===End===