Me: I can't really write as of late, this is my attempt to get some sort of writing ability back.
Disclaimer: Oh my god do I wish I owned kitty Cloud and Leon, but I don't.
Warning: Writer's block exercise, magic gone wrong, reference to sexual activity, and major OOC.
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"You die now!" a voice screamed from inside the house, followed shortly by a crash and a shriek.
Cloud stopped, uncertain whether or not he really wanted to know. It was always like this though, ever since he had come back to Hollow Bastion from the Underworld. First he would wake up and drag himself out of bed, ignoring Leon's protests. Second he would attempt to have breakfast before Yuffie realized there was another person awake. Third he would go heartless patrolling, killing anything he would come across. Then finally he would come home to the chaos that was the communal home of the Restoration Committee. Someone was trying to kill Yuffie, again, that was for sure, but Cloud was really not all that interested at the moment. All he wanted was a nap. Maybe he would go to the Bailey; no one would bother him there.
"YUFFIE YOU BITCH!" the voice yelled louder and the blond fighter sighed. That was definitely Leon and he knew he should help him.
With another dejected sigh, Cloud opened the front door and made his way into the house. Cid was sitting at the kitchen table with Aeris playing cards while Tifa was cooking something behind them. Yuffie was clutching the light on the ceiling and hanging on like her life depended on it, which it probably did considering that Leon was under her waving his gunblade in an attempt to hit her. Cloud stopped dead. Leon wasn't doing anything different, he always tried to kill the hyper active ninja, but Leon wasn't how he normally was. The brunet mercenary had two fluffy, chocolate brown cat ears sticking out of the top of his head and a long swishing brown tail sticking out of his pants.
"You're a cat," Cloud said numbly.
Leon turned to face the blond, a scowl on his face. "Yuffie," he snarled in explanation before turning to see that in his second of distraction the ninja had vanished.
"How is this Yuffie's fault?" Cloud asked mildly, careful to stay out of the pissed off mercenary's strike zone.
"She thought it would be fun to play with Merlin's magic books. Thought nothing would happen if she fucking read it OUT LOUD!" the brunet seethed.
"You look cute though," Cloud grinned sheepishly at his lover.
Leon growled low in his throat and kicked Cloud in the chest, sending him flying into the kitchen stove. Whatever Tifa had been concocting spilled over his head, unusually cold for something that appeared to be boiling. It wasn't so much the cold feeling that bothered him, it was the fact that the entire room had gone silent, the group of warriors staring at the blond in horror. Except for Leon who appeared to be gloating.
"Oh my god Cloud!" Tifa gasped, "I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone would…Merlin asked me to make an antidote for Leon and I wasn't done…I'm so sorry."
"What happened and why does my head feel weird?" the blond said to the silent room.
"Go look in the mirror," Leon smirked slightly.
The blond fighter got to his feet and took one step before falling back as he stepped on something. Something that hurt. With a screech Cloud rolled over and looked over his shoulder at the long, golden, extremely fluffy tail that was protruding from beneath his shirt right over the top of his battle skirt. Wide sapphire eyes turned to the gloating Leon as he reached a hand up to the top of his head, gently feeling that, yes, there were a pair of fluffy ears up there.
"Oh my fucking god!" Cid crowed, falling over the table laughing so hard he was shaking, "I love that fucking ninja. Mother fucking emos need something to liven your sad fucking existence up. Holy fucking shit this is funny."
"Kill Yuffie?" Cloud said to the smug brunet across the room
"Kill Yuffie," Leon agreed.
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The Great Ninja Yuffie was not scared, she was never scared. So the fact that she was shaking as the two best fighters in the world were bearing down on her was not fear. Nope, not fear. It was pure laughter. There was something absolutely ridiculous about having two men with giant swords and kitty ears looking at you and Yuffie could not take it. She couldn't even pay attention to the threats that were being thrown at her. She did pay attention when a fire ball went whizzing past her head. With wide eyes the ninja looked around, grabbed Aeris' yarn ball and threw it at the two men.
Leon looked at the small brunette like she was insane and started to turn to ask Cloud just how he wanted to kill her. Cloud was not paying attention. Cloud was chasing the yarn ball with an expression of utter glee on his face. Incredulously Leon turned to simply kill Yuffie on his own to find the ninja had vanished again.
"Cloud will you leave that thing alone?" the brunet sighed as he turned back to the blond.
Grey eyes opened wide as he took in the blond. Cloud had unraveled the yarn and wrapped it around his entire body in a matter of seconds. He was flat on his back with his hands tangled in the blue thread that had wrapped itself around the leg of the table behind him as well, firmly holding him in place. Cloud growled slightly, kicking his legs up in an attempt to free himself and getting them caught as well. A golden tail swished back and forth in irritation as a low growl erupted from the trapped blond. Leon didn't know why, but the sight was incredibly intoxicating.
A soft purr started in Leon's throat as he approached Cloud, his own tail swaying back and forth between his legs. Sapphire eyes spotted him and the blond hissed, his tail smacking the floor almost warningly.
"Did the kitten get stuck?" the brunet purred.
Another hiss met Leon's statement, but the brunet ignored it. Slowly lowering himself so that he was crouched over the trapped blond, the kitty mercenary grinned. Cloud froze, his eyes trained on the teeth that were now showing. "You have fangs," he said numbly.
"I do?" Leon frowned and reached up to find that he in fact did. "Well I was always a bit of a lion," he smirked.
"And what does that make me?" Cloud purred, silently wondering why he was purring.
"My prey," the brunet smirked as he pounced.
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"For fucks sakes!" Cid yelled, "Do those two ever shut up?"
"Well cats are known for being rather vocal," Aeris said lightly as yet another impassioned yowl cut through the air.
"I don't give a rat's ass if cats are vocal," the blond pilot snapped, "Where the fucking is that damn antidote Tifa?! I want some fucking peace and quiet!"
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Me: Yes, I am clinically insane…I was having a writing slump and decided to simply sit down and write no matter what, this came out. I really have no clue why.
Cautai: I do.
Me: Okay, blame Cautai. I'm still quite insane though. So please review my insanity that has no cause, it will amuse me. And oh my god if someone draws kitty Cloud and Leon I will freak.