White Sheets

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.

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That night, Ciel almost forgot about himself, just a few minutes ago, along with most of the difficult things he had effectively forgotten.

He partly blamed and partly thanked the wine Sebastian gave him. It was strong, it kept him dizzy. So dizzy that he was limp on his bed, and that Sebastian had to stay and lay a hand on his head, waiting until he fell to a peaceful sleep.

Ciel hated the feeling. His aching head. His aching body. The burning image of everything was making his heart twist in pain. But that hand on his head, surprisingly, also seemed trying to make him forget. Just what like that wine did.

"Sebastian."

Sebastian's undying smile widened. The young master under his vision was now back to consciousness, and was explicitly drunk. "My lord."

"Sebastian..." He called again, hoping Sebastian would say something different unlike his floating self.

The butler seemed to understand. "Leave the rest to me, young master." His hand remained on Ciel's head. "I will stay until you are asleep. Don't think of anything for now. Bear the pain for a little longer,"

"I can't,"

"You'll have the deepest slumber you've been longing later, and when you wake up, you'll forget the pain. I assure you."

"I wonder about that..." Ciel sighed. "Sometimes I want to believe you. It always makes me do things better with relief." He dug his face under the white sheets, the soft silky sheets that he often dirtied. Be it his blood and pools of his sweat and tears. And it was always up to Sebastian to fix and maintain it pressed and clean. "If I woke up feeling miserable in the morning, do you think I would still believe in you?"

Sebastian's smile widened again, his young master was truly a child who believes promises should be kept. But sometimes Sebastian wasn't so sure, because compared to other humans at his age, Ciel was different. His maturity and courage was something to be admired. And his right eye literally proved it.

"You always do, young master. You believed me from the start. I wouldn't be here if you didn't."

Ciel did not know what to say. What Sebastian said was true. And until the contract was finished, he will entrust all the dirty work to him.

"Unlike humans, I will not betray you. I will keep our pact intact. Besides, you have all the time and choice of still believing in me or not. But for now, close your eyes and sleep."

"I've decided,"

"Hm?"

"You will stay here until I wake up. Got it? If I find out you didn't, I will make you stab your own heart." The young boy said, eyes gleaming towards his butler. "Would it hurt, Sebastian? What do you think? Would you feel the same rotten feeling as mine?"

Sebastian never thought the wine would make Ciel speak like this. But then, he didn't regret giving it.

Ciel made a bitter chuckle as he had himself slowly slipping down. "Do you even know how to use your heart and love? Can you take it when everything you love was taken before your eyes? I, I... Damn it, why am I saying this..." He balled his fist under the sheets. "...stupid things. Forget about it."

It must be another effect of the stupid wine, making him insane. "Would you be able to feel love, Sebastian? Do you know how to... do you even have a heart in the first place?"

At that point, Sebastian's lips died flat.

The hand that remained on Ciel's head moved a little, Ciel thought Sebastian almost caressed his head. "You are showing me the face of a Phantomhive that, is supposed to be strong and filled with pride, seemed to have lost everything and miserable."

seemed to have lost everything...

Ciel's eyes widened. Sebastian was wrong. He never lost everything, he still have himself, he still have the pride of a Phantomhive, the ghost of his family—loving him, the happy people in his mansion, and most importantly, he have Sebastian.

Which only meant he was the one who's wrong in the first place.

"I didn't lose everything. And I'm sure I don't look as ugly as misery could get." Ciel did not know if this was the feeling of being irrational. "You wouldn't go away and betray me, right? All of you. Your body, your heart, every piece of you... Mine."

"So you do know that I have a heart. Let me ask you, do you think demons have hearts?"

Ciel adjust his body to a more comfortable position, carefully not letting the hand on top of his head fall.

"If it's you, then yes, I suppose. And your heart can do what all hearts can. And again, it's mine. It'll do what I want until we have that condemning contract between us. So don't ever betray me."

Once again, the smile on Sebastian's face was undying, and was more devious than ever. "Yes, my lord."

Owari

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