How To Save A Life
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT FOR THIS STORY
So this story is a completely new concept for me, something that Holly seemed to think would be a good challenge and so far I'm enjoying it! Thanks go to Holly for the awesome amount of help she gave me with this chapter so any good words really should go to her!!! Hope you enjoy it!
Maybe if I could just push a little bit more…
But everything's just so hopeless. My fingernails aren't even that long enough to inflict any sort of pain on my skin.
People think I'm smart. But they just don't know. I'm not even smart enough to grow my fingernails. If I was, I'd be able to replace this pain with my own and then somehow everything Oliver's ever done to me would all go away.
So all I can do is just pinch the skin of my arm with my fingertips until they turn white. And it hurts - a light, dull pain, but nothing that even comes close to anything sufficient. Maybe if I just got off my bed and looked for something sharp… something that could easily replace his wrath on my body… anything.
But I can't move. It hurts. Everything hurts.
It even hurts to breathe.
Maybe if I thought about Troy…
No, now everything inside me just hurts even more. It's unbearable how my last ever memory of him would be that look in his eye the moment I shattered his very soul to shreds and broke his heart. The same moment I died inside and felt numb. And suddenly Oliver's taunts and physical pain just became the norm.
I closed my eyes before opening them quickly again, fixating on the two French doors that led out to my balcony.
I needed him so much. I needed him to hold me, to comfort me, to tell me again and again how much he loved me and how he'd never let me go…
I needed him to be there. To rescue me. He always promised me he'd rescue me from Sharpay Evans every time she insisted on taking me on another one of her shopping sprees…
I let out a sigh and winced with the agony that followed.
Everything was just broken. I was broken.
And to fix me could only ever be counted as some form of miracle.
---
I walked slowly up the steps leading to East High; the pain that rushed through my body with every step made me feel sick.
As I stepped through the door, I noticed everyone's eyes fixed on me. This was nothing unusual anymore.
I don't know what they were thinking; I wasn't sure if it was because they had watched me lose everything and felt sorry for me, or whether knowing I'd done made them so sick with disgust they just had to stare.
I took slow shuffled steps towards homeroom - or well, hell room as it had become for me over the last few months. It used to be a room filled with friends; people who I shared everything with. Now, it's a room filled with people who I'm sure wished I was dead.
It wasn't even like school was somewhere that I could escape from the hell that I was suffering. I knew that he watched me; whatever I did and wherever I went Oliver was watching.
I sat down at my desk at the back of the room, thankful that I had no one behind me; knowing that if I were to lean onto my desk the dark bruises that were spread unevenly across my back would burn mercilessly into my skin.
I was terrified that someone would find out. I did everything I could to avoid the terrible situation that I knew would arise should anyone see the skin that I hid underneath my baggy clothes. Yet I was desperate for someone… anyone to rescue me from my pain and suffering.
The bell finally rang. I got up slowly from my seat, letting everyone else leave before me. If anyone were to crash into me, the pain of the bruises would be too much for me not to scream and draw unwanted attention to myself.
I walked with my head down, not wanting to look up and find every student in the corridor staring, pointing and whispering about me to their friends.
Suddenly, I bumped into something hard, yet already I felt the surface familiarly comforting. My eyes remained down, too terrified that if I looked up I would have abuse hurled at my face. As my eyes lifted from the floor, I realized exactly what I had collided with.
Troy.
I looked deep into his eyes, desperate to find the silent communication that used to exist between us, only to realize that it had disappeared. It was replaced with a look of desperation, heartbreak and anguish. His posture was slumped, his eyes icy and lacking life… lacking what made him Troy.
Every ounce of happiness, of cheekiness and of love had vanished without a trace.
My lips parted as a ragged breath escaped my dry throat. Unshed tears sheathed my eyelids, threatening to spill as I tried with all my might to take away every part of his pain.
His eyes were menacing; his lips curved back in a sickening smile that bared his teeth like some rabid dog.
One blow. Then another. Then another.
I was sure I'd become immune with the next hit.
"You tell him…" He grasped my wrists and pinned them over my head with one hand, the other clawing at my chin, forcing me to look into his bloodshot eyes.
"You tell him it's over."
Everything hurt. "W-what…?" I gasped.
"I can hurt him too…" The smile - pure evil dripping from his lips. He looked almost hungry for blood, for heartbreak. He was a lifeless soul and so she should be too. "I can hurt him. Even more than I could hurt you. He wouldn't even remember what happened… You wouldn't even be able to recognize him. Maybe he wouldn't even wake up from it all… He'd be as worthless and as useless as you are now…"
---
I wished so desperately that I could tell him everything; tell him that I wished he could hold me in his arms and never let me go… protect me from the horrors that went on behind the closed doors of my house.
But I knew that would never happen again. Oliver made perfectly sure that if I were ever to find myself in Troy's arms again, he would suffer just as much as I do.
I would never be able to live with myself.
My heart had always acted before my head could comprehend.
"Tell him anything…" His torturous words pierced my heart - the one thing he'd yet to conquer and abuse. "Tell him you don't love him. You never loved him. He was just some plaything you needed to gain popularity. And now you can just throw him away like a worthless piece of trash."
The tears burned my cheeks. He continued to hold me down against the hard floor, his body weight completely on mine - keeping me there. There was no escape; there never was any escape. "Oliver, no," I whimpered pathetically.
Anything but that. He could hurt me any other way he wanted. But, please, not like that…
He laughed, throwing his head back with the hilarity of it all - as though he were merely watching some brain-dead comedy film. "Tell him there's someone else. And he's ten times the man Bolton could ever be."
"I can't…" I cried, shaking my head erratically; pleading with him with every part of myself. "Not Troy. Please don't make me hurt him. You can do anything you like but please…"
The humor in his eyes disappeared in a split-second and was immediately replaced with pure, raw, red anger. But not even anger… hatred. My eyes widened as his hand flew to my throat; his fingers clutching… breaking off my air supply, throwing me into oblivion. My hands released from his grip and flew to his wrist, prying desperately at his fingers to loosen them somehow.
But he continued to burn his gaze into mine.
"You ever wonder just how far I can go?" He asked me in such a calm way, it was terrifying. "You just think I'd stop before you could fucking die?! I could go all the way - I just get too much fun out of it to let you just leave and be rid of it. But Bolton?" He grinned devilishly. "I couldn't care about Bolton. I could happily watch you destroy him but I could also happily make him suffer myself…" His fingers loosened around my throat and I gasped for air desperately; the tears refusing to still as they raked down my cheeks. "Over and over and over and over and over again…" Oliver sang in a gentle whisper as his hot breath breezed casually over my face.
It was that moment my heart shattered.
"Over and over and over and over and over and over again… And again and again and again and again…"
---
He wouldn't even look at me.
He seemed immobilized at the moment - his hand hanging down, the confidence that once oozed out of him forever absent.
I had done that. I had destroyed the one person I loved more than life itself. He could make me so happy… more than anyone could ever try. And it was so effortless, so breathtaking. It was so Troy.
I'd broken him.
A tear fell down my cheek and I choked back a sob as his face slowly lifted; his shattered and lifeless yet still beautiful gaze finally colliding with mine.
"Troy…" I breathed; my heart hammering against my chest.
His eyes dropped again and I watched as he took a deep breath and moved his body to turn away from me.
Heart over my head. That's how it had always been with me.
"Troy…" I pleaded with him in a gentle whisper and reached out to grasp his wrist, turning him back to face me. He looked back at me, almost as if contemplating whether he should wipe that lone tear from my cheek with his thumb - the way he always used to when I was upset.
My shaking hand lifted; trembling fingers reaching up and grazing against the stubble that sat on his jaw line.
I needed to touch him. I had to touch him.
He just blinked at me, confused at my actions. I felt him unconsciously lean into my hand, his eyes closing almost blissfully and his heart keeping in time with mine.
Time seemed to stand still around us and everything that had happened seemed to fade away into nothingness.
But I just couldn't forget how I'd hurt him. How I'd hurt him but only to save him…
I heard footsteps behind me, bringing me out of my trance. I noticed Chad Danforth, one of my former best friends, approaching; a look of astonishment and anger reflecting in his eyes upon seeing me before marching over and grabbing hold of Troy's arm and pulling him away from me.
"Gabi…" His voice cracked and I averted my eyes and bit down hard into my bottom lip to hold back my impending sobs. I couldn't look at him. "Baby, what do you mean? I don't understand…"
Troy held onto my upper arms with a grip so forceful yet so gentle it could never compare to Oliver's. I could feel his eyes burning into my back with a sick passion, just knowing he was enjoying the show he'd forced me to put on.
"It's over." I tried to keep my voice firm, but it was wavering by the second. "I can't do this anymore…"
In the corner of my eye, I could see Troy shake his head disbelievingly. "You're lying," he stated, wrapping his fingers under my chin and forcing me to look at him. He knew I couldn't lie. But I had to lie. I had to convince him.
For his good. I had to remember… it was all for him.
So, I straightened my spine and set my gaze in a deadlock with his, my lips tightening and my fingers pulling his from beneath my chin. "I don't love you, Troy."
And there it was. Shattered. I could hear it braking… a sound I'll never forget, a sound that'll haunt me until the day I die. It ripped through my soul but I could still feel his burning eyes behind me.
I had to protect him. I loved him so much, I simply had to protect him.
If only he could understand.
"Gabriella," he swallowed slowly, trying to comprehend my words. "You don't--"
"I never did." I looked away from him again and squirmed reluctantly as he wound his arms around my waist. "It was all a game. All of it."
He broke again.
"What do you mean?" He managed to get out; his arms tightening around me and pulling me hard up against his body, forcing me to crumble even more.
"This isn't you… what happened to you? Who's hurting you, Gabi? Who's--"
Too close.
"No-one is hurting me, okay?!" I yelled desperately. "I just don't love you, Troy! I never have and I never will!" I pushed hard against his shoulders, backing away from him as tears slipped from my eyes and rained down my face. "How many times do I have to say it to make you understand? How much longer are you going to try and justify this? That's all there is to it, Troy. I don't want you!"
I could feel Oliver's smirk.
Troy just shook his head, tears forming in his own eyes as I wrapped my arms around my torso and looked to the side - anywhere but at him. I just couldn't… everything hurt.
Troy stepped closer to me. "If you don't love me; if you never did… why are you crying like this?" His voice was so soft, yet the sobs meshed with his ever-caring tone and turned my insides to ice. "Why can't you look at me?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't.
"Gabriella…" His tone was pleading. "Please, baby." His hands came up and cupped my cheeks, his thumbs sweeping beneath my eyelids as he wiped away the tears that hung there. His nose brushed against mine; my eyes falling shut - memorizing, feeling him… just one last time. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you, okay? You can tell me anything." A loud sob erupted from my throat. "I love you, baby; please don't push me away like this."
I needed to do this. "I'm not pushing you away, Troy. It's the truth. It is." My shaky voice did nothing to make my point convincing. And that could only result fatally. "I don't want you."
"Gabi…" His face fell into my neck, soaking it with his pain; lazy kisses pressing against my pulse point - assuring me, comforting me, loving me. He wrapped one arm back around my waist, the other curling around my neck and keeping me there as he caressed my hurt.
Even though I had to do it to save him… and could never make him understand why.
My heart overruled my head and my arms wrapped around his neck tightly. He sighed in relief against my neck, kissing me over and over.
"I'm sorry," I cried in a whisper against his ear. "I'm so sorry, Troy."
"It's okay," he whispered back into my hair, ghosting his nose over my cheek affectionately. "It'll be okay."
"It won't."
I pulled back from him and looked deep into his eyes, holding his cheek to keep his gaze locked on mine.
It was now or never. Either I hurt him and I save him, or I keep him and Oliver gets to him. I wished he could just see…
"Let me go, Troy."
He shook his head quickly, his brows furrowed together in confusion and hurt. "I won't do it, Gabriella. Not until you tell me what all this is about."
It was rage and hatred towards my brother that brought it out of me combined with the need to ensure that I keep the man I love from physical pain and suffering. He'd be fine after a while; he'd get over me. But we'd never get over any torture that Oliver would choose to inflict. I couldn't live with myself if
I ever let Oliver hurt him like that.
"Let me go!" I screamed, shoving him backwards and pushing his arms away from me. "I don't want you to touch me; I'm sick of you touching me! I don't love you! I never wanted you for anything but fucking popularity, okay?! Every new girl's gotta start somewhere!"
He just looked at me.
"You were just… some mindless jock. Just something I needed for a little while until I got where I needed to be."
My words scorned him. Oliver's laugh echoed in my mind.
"It was never you. There's someone else. There always has been someone else. And you'll never compare to him. You're nothing compared to him."
In a single moment, we both died.
---
"Go back under the rock that you crawled from, bitch." Chad's words cut through my skin, lodging themselves deeply in my already broken heart. "Don't you think you've done enough?"
They'd never understand.
I could never make them understand.
This was my existence.
This was my torture.
---
The sound of the front door shutting sent chills up my spine; I knew it wasn't mom because she was away on business; there was only one other person that it could be.
I heard the steps getting coming closer to my door. They weren't the soft steps I wished I would hear one day, they were heavy harsh steps that I knew would only lead to one thing.
"What the hell was today about you stupid, stupid girl?" Oliver scream harsh words as flung open the door to my bedroom.
I looked up casually from my bed, I was so used to this now the sudden opening of my door ceased to make me flinch.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'd appreciate it if you could leave now, I'm trying to study" My words seemed confident but the feelings that were running through my veins couldn't have been more different.
I was terrified.
"Your getting smart now, I like it. Shame your so fat and ugly." He took a few steps closer to my bed. I sat up slowly, unconsciously shuffling backwards on my bed.
I always wondered what mom would think if she ever found out about this, I hope that she would be horrified but I know that Oliver had always been her pride and joy.
"Please Oliver, just leave me alone." I watched as he sniggered, a harrowing grin appeared across his cheeks, once again taking steps closer to my bed.
"You should know by now that begging only makes me want to fight harder." The back of his hand hit my cheek harshly, throwing me swiftly from the bed and hard onto the carpeted floor of my bedroom.
I couldn't understand what I'd ever done to make him hate me so much. His father had always been abusive to mom and as soon as she met dad she knew that there was a place out there for her that didn't involve pain and suffering.
Then I came along.
He was only a year older than me. He'd always been so protective when we were small, pushing over any of the children that would bully me during recess for being small. I couldn't place any even that had caused him to detest me so much that he would want to cause me so much pain.
"Oliver, why are you doing this to me? I've never done anything to you" I pleaded with him more, knowing that the pain of falling to the floor and the stinging sensation that was moving between my eye socket and the corner of my mouth.
"You hooked up with Bolton you stupid bitch, what did you think this was about? He wrecked my life, starting varsity on sophomore year? Basketball captain in his sophomore year? That should have been me" I had managed to stand up to make my way back over to my bed but as the words were spat from his mouth he pushed me back down to the floor, a screech leaving my mouth as my already sore bruises hit the had floor.
"I fell in love with him Oliver, I couldn't help it. Why are you punishing me for that?" tears were now flowing down my cheeks, they weren't tears of pain they were tears that represented each of my wishes that things could be as perfect as they used to be.
"He has to be punished, hurting him wont do any good I'll just get thrown off the team. Hurting you, its punishment for everything everyone has ever done to me. It makes me feel so good, like I'm in control." I shuddered; mom had always told me that control was Oliver's father's problem, he had attempted to kill mom on numerous occasions.
I quickly realized that if Oliver wanted to kill me, he wouldn't hold back.
"Do you think doing this to me will make any of this go away? Troy will still be basketball captain and your dad will still be in jail. I know you're a good guy Oliver, you don't wonna hurt me." I figured that if pleading with him to stop wasn't going to help; I could at least try and talk some sense into him.
"Don't try and patronize me bitch. I know your game, get Oliver to surrender and then call the cops. You think I'm stupid don't you?" He pushed me hard to the ground, pressing his foot hard against my chest and stopping me from breathing.
He shook his head as a disgusted look came about his face. My chest was freed of his foot, only to have it come into sharp contact with the already battered skin on my back.
I screamed as I felt the fragile skin break, it didn't take long for me to start thinking this would be it.
I'd never see mom again.
I'd never see my friends again.
I'd never see Troy again.
As the torture continued I stopped feeling what was going on around me, shutting out every painful blow inflicted on my body and focused on the happy memories that Troy and I had shared, all of the memories I knew that once this was over I would never be able to get back.
I felt blood trickle down my cheek from my nose, I knew that the rest of my body was bleeding to but I didn't care. All I cared about was looking at Troy's face and hearing his soothing voice whispering to me that it would all be ok.
I didn't want to die knowing that he hated me, knowing that he didn't know the truth.
Suddenly everything stopped.
I heard Oliver sigh angrily as he pushed me one last time with his foot. I lay still, hoping that if I played dead he would just leave me alone. I knew it worked for bears; it has to work for humans to right?
As I heard the door close, I let my breathing fall shallow and my eyelids to completely close. I began to feel tired and knew that complete darkness wasn't too far away.
If only someone would find me.
So there it is people chapter 1. I don't think there will be more than 5 chapters for this story we'll see how it all plans out in the next one but I estimate between 3 and 5. Please review and let me know what you thought, first person is something very new for me so please let me know if it was ok or if it completely sucked.
Thanks so much for reading!