A.N: I should have mentioned this earlier, but I forgot: I took the name of the city the Cullens live in (Tok, Alaska) and estimated the population of it in about ten or so years, but other than that I know nothing more than a quick trip to the city's chamber of commerce website can tell me.

Also, the Twilight Lexicon's Twilight has been invaluable for this fic for figuring out which historical references I could make :).

A.N. for Chapter: This particular POV was lots of fun for me to write, so it's a bit longer than the other chapters. Also, I realized that I had been focusing too much on the plot and not enough on the characters, as my outline is very vague, so I'm trying to fix that starting here. Constructive criticism is always appreciated - really, I won't get the least bit mad about criticism on my writing as long as it's not 'You suck' or something like that. It is very useful to me as a writer, and I really appreciate everyone who leaves reviews. I will never hold my fic hostage for more reviews - you guys get it as soon as it's edited and ready - and I'd post this even if it didn't get any, but I really appreciate feedback, and thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave it. But enough ANs :). Please enjoy the chapter!

Chapter IV

For the first time in years, I found it difficult to focus on my patients. I went through the motions of working at the hospital, but my mind kept going back to the previous day's happenings, playing the family meeting over and over.

It had gone much as I had feared it would, once I heard what Alice had seen. Jasper and Emmett immediately went into fighting mode, with Edward more reservedly agreeing with them. They had, I was sure, already started making plans as to what they would do in case the Volturi attacked. Bella and Esme had gone the opposite tack, trying to think of ways we could keep this from the Volturi or keep them from attacking if they did. Bella and Edward were in the middle of a heated (but completely quiet) argument before I knew it, with Bella hissing something to him and stalking out of the room after a few minutes.

Rosalie had not been thinking of the Volturi, I knew; the only important thing, for the moment, in Alice's vision for her was the assurance that we could find a way to make the anti-venom work. I knew that she would let nothing stand between her and a chance at humanity, even if that meant going head-to-head with Aro himself.

Alice had merely been terrified, clinging to Jasper as if her life depended on it. I couldn't imagine what she had seen. I knew if I had a vision of Esme being tortured to death, I would do anything to keep it from coming true, so it was easy to guess what her stance would be on the anti-venom or on picking fights with the Volturi.

And me? At first I had been stunned, just like the rest of them, but I had quickly put that aside when I saw them starting to come apart. I had focused on Alice first, making sure she was not going into hysteria, and I had then told everyone that our first order of business should be to find a way to safeguard ourselves from the Volturi, and we could come up with a solution after we had thought about it some more.

I hated fighting. If my youth in England had taught me something, it was that violence and hatred gave back the same in return. Trite, I know, but true nonetheless. My time with the Volturi had only further assured me that I was right. I abhorred violence; it was the antithesis of everything I had come to believe in. I had taken an oath to save any life I could, and I did not take that oath lightly.

But sometimes saving a life required taking another, and I would be faced with a decision. And when one of the lives was my family, my choice was made.

I might have told my children that we would focus purely on defensive measures for now, but I hadn't meant it. Even before Alice had finished speaking, my mind had been spinning ahead, working on a way we could neutralize the threat from the Volturi.

It sounded absurd just to think about it. If the thought had occurred to me a hundred years ago, I would have laughed it off. When I had first met Aro, the Volturi had been at a fraction of their current power, and even so I would not have entertained the idea of defying them, not with twice the strength of my family. It could only result in the merciless slaughter of those whom I loved.

It could not be done.

But we would have to. For as much as I could debate the point and try to put off the decision, I knew there could be only one end to this. It was time again for another decision, and my choice was already made.

If the Volturi were going to kill us, we would have to kill them first. There was no other option.

I had a very hard time concentrating on my patients that day.

By the time I got home, I felt almost tired, as if that were possible for a creature such as me. My head ached from chasing my thoughts in circles, and I longed to spend some quiet time with Esme before revisiting the issue at hand. I would need the strength.

It was not to be, however; no sooner did I step foot in the door than I heard a loud crash come from upstairs, followed by an 'I'm sorry!' that could be from none other than Bella.

"Edward's studying the case file again," said a voice from the living room. Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap, ostensibly watching a documentary on Pompeii, though Alice had her eyes shut, and Jasper was watching Alice.

"Bella's been trying to distract him all day," Alice continued, not opening her eyes.

I sighed; just one more thing to worry about. After Bella was attacked and left for dead nine years ago, forcing Edward to turn her, Edward had become obsessed with finding out who had instigated the attack. At first we had helped him, spending the days of Bella's transformation gathering what information we could; Jasper and Rosalie had even spent a week trying to hunt down a scent in the area, but it had turned out to be just a skittish newborn.

The first year had been hard for Bella; she had been in a near-constant state of bloodlust so bad that she had barely been rational. We took turns watching her, and Edward spent all his time either with Bella or losing himself in his search for Bella's attacker. He had been planning to change her either way, but whoever had assaulted her had made sure she suffered. I had been a minute or two behind Edward when he found her after the attack – the family had been out hunting in the deep woods – and it had not been a pretty sight. She had almost died before Edward turned her. I would never forget the look in my son's eyes as he crouched over her that day.

Fortunately, Bella remembered very little of the incident, but Edward was determined not to let it go. He slaved over what little information he had, taking trips to the place of the attack every few weeks. It got to the point where he barely interacted with anyone but Bella, who, in those first months, was barely capable of holding a conversation, so distracted was she by the thirst. Things came to a head when one day Emmett and Jasper tried to take their brother out hunting, and Edward, not wishing to be distracted for one minute, lashed out at them, fighting them with all his strength. Esme and I were only just able to calm them down long enough to distract Edward and let Jasper hit Edward with all the calm and lethargy he could muster. While Edward was stunned, Emmett had carried him out to the woods to hunt, and when they came back I had hidden all of Edward's files. I was able to conceal their location from him long enough to have a family meeting and convince him to take a break from his investigations – in effect, I threatened to have Jasper and Emmett follow him constantly and lock him in the basement if he tried to work on it. I had not had to take such drastic measures on anyone but a newborn, and I did not like it, but it was necessary. Edward acceded (rather gracelessly, as he spent the next several weeks sulking and eavesdropping on everyone, but I counted a win as a win), and he had only looked at his notes sporadically, but every so often, when things got stressful – like when Bella slipped up in Portland and we had to move in the middle of the night – he would retreat to his room and emerge after several days looking sick and exhausted.

Bella, of course, thought he should 'let it go already', and the arguments they had when he got in a funk were long and loud and often caused significant structural damage to the house. Of course, they always made up, but it was always stressful and put the rest of the family, Jasper especially, in a funk.

I momentarily debated going upstairs and trying to stop the two, but the angry growling gave me pause; it would not be long before one of them walked off in a huff, and soon after that they would be falling over themselves to apologize. It always went that way.

Jasper and Alice informed me that Esme was shopping in town and would probably be a while. It was clear that they were preoccupied, so I went in search of Rosalie and Emmett. I knew even before I heard them exactly where they would be – not so much due to my senses as to the eighty-odd years spent being their 'father.'

The night after I'd told them of my research, Rosalie had hooked up several of our computers in the basement and downloaded (I wasn't quite sure how, but I wasn't going to ask) some of the software used by a Michigan university group that had done some related work on genetics. By the time Esme and I looked in on her, she was working on creating a computer model of the vampire chromosomes, having to make many modifications to the software in order to accommodate the unique form. Emmett had joined her without her asking him, sighing resolutely and going over strings of computer code. They hadn't stopped – not even slowed down – after Alice's visions. Rosalie was determined to be a human again, and Emmett was determined to make her happy any way he could.

Judging from the backpacks lying in the doorway, they had come here right after school and hadn't taken a break – a rarity, for the most outwardly 'affectionate' couple in the household. Rosalie was hunched over in front of a desktop, and Emmett was lying underneath her desk, fiddling with some wires on the tower.

"Try it again, babe – I think I've got it." Emmett's voice was muffled from holding a USB cable in his mouth. It would have been comical if I hadn't known that the sooner they finished with this, the sooner the Volturi would come after us.

Rosalie leaned forward slightly and typed furiously for a few seconds. "Hmm, I think that might have done it. The imaging protocols are – no, wait, there's another parsing error here. Hmm, maybe if I just…"

She trailed off, so engrossed in her work that she did not realize I was standing behind her. Emmett grinned and waved at me, though I thought the grin looked rather stretched. He must be worrying about Rosalie just as much as I was worrying about Esme, but he couldn't stop himself from helping her. Poor kid.

"You're missing a semi-colon on the eighth line here," I said over her shoulder as I looked at the program. The kids weren't the only ones who had picked up extra degrees here and there. Mine had mostly been online or part-time, but I was still a certified computer programmer, mechanical engineer (though that was a bit outdated), biologist, geneticist, and interior decorator (though that had been a personal favor to Esme and Alice, and was mostly a forbidden topic around the household).

Rosalie's eyes flicked up to me and back to the screen. "Hmm, you're right. If we fix that, maybe the par-"

I took a deep breath and interrupted her before she could continue. I knew she probably wouldn't listen, but I had to try anyway. "Rosalie, perhaps it would be wise to just wait a bit before you-"

"I'm sorry," she said. She bit her lip – habit she'd picked up from Bella – and her fingers wavered over the keyboard. I sensed Emmett tense and stop breathing where he lay below the desk. "I know it might be – safer, but I can't, not now that we know it will work. I'm sorry, Carlisle."

I sighed. Just as I'd expected. "It's all right, kid." I squeezed her shoulders and pressed a kiss on top of her head. "Just thought I'd have it out."

Emmett grunted from his place at Rose's feet. "'S'what I said, Rose. We'll figure something out."

"Mmhmm." And Rose was lost again, her lips moving rapidly as she scrolled through the strings of code on the screen.

I turned to leave the room, but this time it was Emmett who stopped me.

"Carlisle."

I stopped and looked at him. With a grace that belied his size, he rolled out from underneath the desk and kneeled, putting his hand on Rosalie's thigh.

"When we synthesize the anti-venom, we'll test it on the models first, but… who're we going to test it on before we take it?"

Rosalie and I both stiffened coincidentally. Emmett squeezed Rose's thigh reassuringly, but I could offer nothing. The question had bounced in and out of my mind ever since I had first thought of the idea. I knew Rose would want to be the first to try it out, but I would not allow that. It was highly improbable that the very first compound we came up with would work perfectly; there were bound to be snags. If it was necessary, I was willing to test it on myself, though I knew it would hurt Esme deeply if I died. But that was a last resort; I was still looking for other options. There was always another option.

"I don't know," I told my children eventually. It was as much truth as I could give them, and they deserved that. Emmett, at least, accepted my answer. He nodded and patted Rosalie's leg again. Rosalie hunched her shoulders and focused her attention on the screen. Her mind was made up.

Not going to happen, I told myself again.

As I climbed back up to the basement, I was only sure of one thing: I needed Esme.

I got so impatient waiting for my wife that, after the second time Jasper asked me if I were going to wear a hole in the floor with my pacing, I ran off into the woods to see if I could meet her on her way back. I was normally used to masking my emotions, but these last few days had put me over the edge. In situations like this, there was only one person with whom I could find peace.

As I ran, I remembered the first time Esme and I had gone through a situation like this: the years Edward's 'rebellion.' At first, Esme had been inconsolable. She had only recently seen one son die, and now she had lost another. I had tried to comfort her, telling her that we should – that we must – have faith in Edward, in his conscience, in his ability to find his way back again. I vowed that we would not move until he returned, even though, at times, I hardly thought that he would. It was Esme, my angel, who had shown me the fallacy in my thoughts: how could I babble reassurances to her and exhort her to believe in something which I myself did not? I realized that for too long I had been trying to shoulder the burdens of faith and hope and grief by myself; in those years, we learned to share the burden, and, though I would always look upon it as a dark time in which I had lost my beloved son, there was always the one shining light in it: that, in that time of worry, Esme had truly become my partner, my equal in standing, my wife.

She had brought me comfort then, and I needed it again now. My son was no longer lost to me, but now I had six children instead of the one – and six times the worry. I was afraid that I had opened Pandora's Box too early. I should have seen that the Volturi would not let this go. In my thoughts, I had only considered that they would only be glad of a reason to see our coven – no, our family – disappear, but I should have thought they would have seen this as a weapon. I was not used to thinking from Aro's point of view, and it could prove to be our downfall. I knew that Rose, and by extension, Emmett, would never be happy until they found a way to make themselves human, and I knew that the others in my family yearned for this chance with all their hearts, but more than this I knew that if by keeping us vampires I could keep them safe, I would make sure we stayed this way, and I would do it gladly. Losing Edward for those few years had been unbearable; I would not lose any of the others for an eternity.

Esme was driving down the dirt and gravel road at just shy of one hundred and thirty miles per hour when I spotted her – or, rather when she spotted me. I was jogging down by the edge of the forest, down a short embankment from the road. Mostly invisible to a human, but I knew my wife would spot me.

Her jeep turned smoothly and skittered to a stop at the edge of the road. I ran over and opened the door for her, hoping I hadn't worried her; if something had been wrong, I would have called her.

She stepped out and raised an eyebrow at me. I suddenly realized I didn't know what I wanted, beyond a vague sense of needing her near me.

"I thought we could go for a walk," I blurted out after a moment. With anyone else, I would have felt stupid, but this was Esme. She didn't disappoint. She stepped out, locked the door, and took my hand, leading me into the forest.

We walked silently for some time: it could have been ten minutes; it could have been three hours. Just being with her gave me peace enough that I didn't keep track. Eventually, Esme sat down on a large rock and pulled me down next to her.

"You're worried."

I opened my mouth to respond, but she put her finger on my lips.

"I am too," she said. She rested her head against my shoulder and squeezed my hand. "Have faith, Carlisle. We have several years before we can test it, and even then…"

"Several years are nothing to Aro. To the Volturi."

Esme straightened and looked me in the eye. "I know, and it…. it terrifies me. But I'm not letting the Volturi lay a hand on my children, and you," she leaned closer, her expression softening. "You won't either."

She kissed me then, a long, slow kiss that soothed me to my core.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I wondered aloud, earning a raised eyebrow. I meant it, though; Esme really was terrified. She loved the children just as much as I did – more, if it were possible – and she knew just how dangerous the Volturi were, but she put aside her worries to comfort me. Me, who had brought this down on her and all of us.

"I ask myself the same question every day, my dear. How someone as wonderful as you could love me." Esme smirked and lowered her hands to the buckle of my pants. "I think it's only fair we try to answer each other's questions. With demonstrations."

I was completely done unbuttoning her shirt before she finished speaking, my fingers fiddling with her bra clasp. "I think that sounds like a good idea."

And, laughing, I set aside my worries for some hours and reveled in the companionship of my beloved.

We got back to the house at about four in the morning. As we parked in the garage, I could hear Alice laughing in the living room, and my heart lightened. It seemed as if things had worked themselves out for now.

The children were sitting in front of the newest flat screen, watching one of those horrid claymation Christmas movies from the 1930s. Emmett and Rosalie were playing Clue on the floor in front of the couch. Alice was pretending to watch the movie but really trying to give Rosalie hints about what the murder weapon was. Jasper was halfheartedly watching the movie and sketching a map of the Battle of Fort Henry on a napkin. Bella was lying on the floor and reading a chemistry textbook, and Edward was sitting straight in a chair and leafing through the Quarterly Journal of Medicine. I chuckled at that: replace Edward's polo and jeans with a three-piece suit and he would fit right in a Victorian house. Some things were just so deeply inbred in him that I doubted he would grow out of it if we lived another hundred years.

"Carlisle! Esme!" Alice practically bounded over the couch and ran to hug Esme as soon as we stepped inside. Short as she was, her head barely reached Esme's collarbone, and she peered up at my wife with her head tilted back comically. "I'm glad you're back."

Esme hugged her back, and I dropped the grocery bags and hugged her from the other side, sandwiching Alice between us.

"I knew you'd put Carlisle in a better mood," she said rather smugly, though her voice was muffled.

I heard Edward groan and snap his magazine shut. "I really didn't want to see that, Alice."

Alice giggled and squeezed out from between me and Esme, bouncing back to the couch and jumping into Jasper's lap.

I pulled Esme close to me, and as I did I felt the waves of comfort and happiness envelop me.

Things would be fine: I had my wife and my children with me, and we would think of something together. I had faith in us.

The idea arrived to me in the form of a patient – an attempted suicide. He'd come down from Anchorage to visit his family; a college student, he was in his third year of pre-med when the stress had finally gotten to him. By the time his family got him to the hospital, he was in the middle of a full-blown breakdown, ranting and raving unintelligibly and trying to punch any of the orderlies that got too close.

He had tried to jump off a cliff, his brother said. Fortunately they had tackled him in time, but he kept trying to run away from them and jump. The brother had a black eye and a cut over his eyebrow that required stitches; I treated that while the nurses got the patient into the psychiatric ward. We could hear the patient yelling from where we were: he kept saying his professors had made him a demi-god, and he had to fall from the heavens to regain his humanity. Fall from the heavens, fall from the heavens, fall from the heavens, over and over and over.

The idea was so stupidly plain that when it occurred to me, I accidentally stabbed the brother in the forehead with my needle – something I had not done in my three hundred years of practicing medicine.

I finished with him quickly and made my excuses with the receptionist, muttering something about Esme feeling ill. I drove slowly and took the long way home, glad that Edward was still in class: I wanted some time to think this over and talk about it with my wife before I told any of the children. It was so obvious that I couldn't believe none of us had thought of it before. Not even Jasper, with all of his experience, had considered it.

It would be very difficult to kill the Volturi. Impossible. I had known it could not happen before I had even thought of it. But there was something else we could do – something that would neutralize the Volturi as a threat to us and keep any other vampires well away from us once we were human.

I had just found the perfect subjects to test the anti-venom on.