DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, places, etc.

** Author's Note ** I understand that a lot of people won't like this peice of writing as it is Jacob & Bella, though I hope you don't review badly judged on personal preferences rather than your opinions on my writing/story writing abilities. Please be kind. :)

Life had gone on slowly since Edward had left. I couldn't remember much about the earlier months, about the pain and the tears and the nightmares - well, I suppose I did remember the nightmares, considering I was still having them. The only thing that kept me going was my friendship with Jacob. It was something about his smile, so perfect and happy, it made me wish I had a smile like that. Jacob was my best friend now, and if I could have it my way, we'd never be apart. He made Edward feel like only a distant memory, and made me wonder if my time with Edward had even been real, or just a very realistic dream. Either way, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Jacob made me feel part-way human, and he reminded me that I was still alive. Even behind the hurt. Sometimes I wondered if Edward would come back, if he'd visit me again some time in the middle of the night while Charlie was snoring away in his own bedroom, oblivious to everything his teenage daughter was going through. Oblivious especially to the fact that she'd been dating a vampire. The word "vampire" almost made me laugh these days. With Edward gone, it was hard to tell if I was still sane. Was he really a vampire? Did he ever really exist? Was I going crazy with loss? I tried to keep those thoughts away from me, but usually they'd enter my mind during the silent moments of my life; and only Jacob seemed to keep those thoughts away from me.

I'd only really started seeing Jacob because of the motorcycles. Hearing Edward's voice in my head again was like a breath of fresh air - or a slap in the face - I wasn't really sure. I did admit to myself that I'd been using him, but after spending so much time with him, I realised I'd grown more attached than I'd wanted. After all the pain the motorcycles had caused my body, and Jacob's conscious, I'd decided to give it a rest. I no longer pressured Jacob into teaching me to ride in secret, and then lying to everybody about how I'd hurt myself. He seemed relieved whenever I came around and didn't press the matter, and usually that made him a lot happier. But the nightmare I'd had that night had been so real, so painful, that I had to hear Edward's voice just one last time, and the motorcycle seemed the only way to do it.

I left the house, pulling on my rain jacket as I did to protect myself from the drizzling rain outside as I climbed up into the cab of my truck. I drove off towards La Push, driving a little faster than I usually would, anxious to hear Edward's voice again. I pulled up outside the little shack and ran up to the front door, knocking hard. I heard a shuffling from inside and Jacob opened the door, grinning madly. He always smiled at me like that, as though he hadn't seen me for years. I loved it.
"Hi Jake!" I said as cheerfully as I could, hoping I wouldn't let on that I was feeling anxious about getting back onto the bikes.
"Hey Bells," he said, grinning. He stepped out and we walked around the side of the house to the shed out back, where the motorcycles sat for all to see, and it looked like he'd been tinkering with them.
"How are the bikes?" I asked, half-heartedly, wondering how he'd react if I told him I wanted to ride again.
"Oh, they're ok. I was just fixing a few things on mine, but they should be fine. Why?" he asked. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, a little suspicious. I shrugged as I sat in the Rabbit, yawning. I wondered if I was fooling him.
"Maybe we could, go for another ride?" I asked. I remembered with a wince the last time we went riding, I'd really hurt my arm badly. But the voice in my head had been so strong, so wonderful, I was willing to do it again. For Edward.
"Bella -" he began, but I stopped him.
"Just a little one. I promise I'll be careful," I said, grinning, trying to keep the mood uplifting. But he was frowning down at me, and his frown was very serious. I sighed, knowing what was about to happen.
"Bella, I can't let you get hurt anymore. What would happen if it was really serious? What would I tell Charlie?" he asked, looking at me generously with his big puppy dog eyes. I had to admit, my heart melted. But the urge to hear that voice was too strong.
"Please Jacob," I said, pouting. My flirting skills hadn't improved.
"I have to say no," he said, turning his back to me. I let out a sigh, and I felt the rage built up inside of me. He didn't know how I was feeling, he didn't understand the hurt that Edward had left, the hole he'd left in me. He didn't understand how important it was for me to hear his voice again.
"Jacob, if you don't take me, I'll just go by myself," I said angrily, getting up. He wheeled around and grabbed my arm.
"No, Bella, don't make me call Charlie," he said, his voice was low and ferocious, and it looked as though he could kill me right then. My heart jumped with fear.

Don't make him angry, Bella. Stop it.

There it was. I stopped. Jacob was still glaring at me, and he was panting quickly, gripping onto my arm with a hot hand. I shifted slightly, wondering if I could make him angrier. Would Edward speak again?
"Call him, I don't care. You can't stop me, Jacob," I yelled, trying to push him away from me, but instead he grabbed my shoulders with both arms and held me there on the spot.

BELLA! ENOUGH!

"Bella!" Jacob's own voice drowned Edward's out, as though I'd been in a daze. He hadn't let me go, he was angry but his eyes were full of hurt. I couldn't take anymore, I already regretted it. I pushed him away the best I could and ran, out around the house again through the rain, climbed into my truck and drove away. I didn't stop to think about what I'd just done, what had just happened, all I knew was that I'd made a big mistake.