A/N: Hello. I'm MQ and this is my first Naruto fic. I got this idea from a fan-fiction I read somewhere (I cannot for the life of me remember who wrote it, so if you are reading this, this fic is dedicated to you). This is a parody of some of the common themes I found about Sakura in fan-fiction. I hope you guys like it and please review. Thanks. =)

The Laws of Fan-fiction Regarding Haruno Sakura

Chapter 1: Smokin … Baby

It was a normal morning like any other in Konoha. The skies were blue, the birds were chirping and Tsunade was on her record 5th sake bottle for the hour… yup, life was good. Unfortunately for the unsuspecting citizens of Konoha however, their lives were about to be turned upside down… and it all started with a certain pink-haired kunoichi…

Haruno Sakura of Team 7 woke up today to the bright morning light shining in through her window. She stretched and yawed, seemingly oblivious to the change she had undergone during the night. As she stood up however, she realized something was different. She felt heavier than before… and her back hurt. Her centre of gravity was off and it seemed to have shifted up to her chest.

Huh? My chest?

Sakura looked down.

She screamed.

Law #No.1: For some reason, Sakura suddenly has a body sexy enough to rival that of Tsunade's.

"What the hell?" she spluttered, rushing over to the mirror and gazing in stunned amazement at her body.

She had boobs (Hallelujah!) to rival that of her mentor, Tsunade-Shishiou, and a waist and derriere that would make any girl green with envy. Her hair had miraculously grown to waist length overnight.

Normally, Sakura would have jumped for the moon at receiving such precious gifts of T&A but she was too bewildered to do anything except gape. Gone was her slender and lithe body, her back was aching from the weight of her breasts (how the hell does Tsunade-Shishiou keep her back straight with these things?) and she just felt off.

As Sakura was staring at the way her t-shirt strained against her chest (and was starting to tear from the sheer volume), she realized that now all her clothes would not be able to fit her.

Especially her bras.

She yelped and ran to the wardrobe, flinging the doors open and trying on every article in there. As the heap of discarded clothes grew higher, the initial panic began to take hold of her again. Shit…oh shit… I don't have anything I can wear! Damn, I can't go down like this! My dad would get a heart-attack!

There was really only one thing to do.

She needed to see Tsunade-Shihiou.

Ripping the bedsheets from the bed and tying it around her toga-style, Sakura threw open the window and leaped onto the roof of the building next to her house. She directed chakra to her feet and sped off towards the Hokage Tower, praying desperately that no one would see her.

As it was, today was simply not her day.