Killua sleeps on Illumi's bed and thinks about his so-close-yet-so-far brother. [I dunno what to dugtong, yai!] Hope you enjoy this one despite the fact that it is too short. Arigatou! :)gyo

I looked into the ceiling of the dark room as if I was staring at a beautiful, starry sky. I remained unmoving, so immobile, except for the silver strands of my hair tousled by the ceiling fan and my chest moving up and down as I inhaled and exhaled to get some little puffs of oxygen to fill my lungs.

I couldn't fathom why I can't sleep despite the fact that I was lying on this bed for almost an hour. Maybe the reason why I got drowned in this fake insomnia was this big yet graceful thing sleeping so peacefully three inches away from me.

It was the very first time in my life as a thirteen-year-old that I lay with my big brother on the same bed. And I felt as if I was a keen scientist trying to monitor every movement of my cultured specimen. But then, I wasn't performing a nice experiment at all. I was just simply doing a "slight" auditory observation on him: hearing his calm breathing, listening to the rhythmic throbbing of his heart and at the faint pulsating sounds of his vital parts.

Heaving a sigh, which I don't usually do, I decided to end this overt observation. Wait! No. Not yet. I don't want to lose track of Illumi now.

Excuse me? Why was I getting so observant of him all of a sudden by the way? I was supposed to hate him. I have even dreamt once of killing him, give him a dose of his own assassination medicine. I loathed him for manipulating me at Greed Island, for making me fail on the Hunter Exam. But as I felt him beside me on this very bed, my seemingly volcanic anger vanished so quickly. Completely liquidated.

Hey! It's not an incestuous desire if that's what you think! I could never do or even think of such hideous thing to my own brother. And I'm perfectly, completely, truly, really, very straight, you know! I'm just missing him, that's all.

Yeah, right. There's no use pretending so far. Whether I admit it or not, the fact will always remain a fact and I can't deny it to my very self –I am missing him. Its quite embarrassing but I wanted to hug him tight tonight. I wanted to feel the warmth of the loving embrace he used to wrap me with many, many years ago. I badly needed to see his affectionate smile, hear his genuine laughter, feel his hands caressing my hair, to snuggle with him as he brushes his lips on my forehead...

Ah. I have always wondered why he became this poker-faced machine the moment I returned to Kukuruu Mountain from the arenas of the Celestial Tower. Well, after seven years of being away from home, many changes may have happened at the house –he included.

But I have always thought that fate was too unfair. My Kuya Illumi was a kind and gentle child before our father Silva took me away from him to undergo my training in the real world. I knew him very well because he became my nanny from the time I was born till I reached four years old. He took care of me as if I was the most precious creature to exist in this cruel jungle of emotions and confusions where death was the only consolation. I don't understand why my once loving brother became so cold, as cold as the tundras of the north, of the glaciers of the south. Did my father turn him into this emotionless, expressionless, heartless monster?

My thoughts were stopped as I felt him move. I immediately closed my eyes, pretending to be engulfed in a deep slumber. I even turned my head away from him just to make him unnotice my sudden "sleep". But it seems like he knew me too well to be bluffed by my sheer pretense.

"Killua?" I heard his voice –a cold, monotonous one as it had always been. But so soft like fluffy feathers. Hey! How the heck could a voice be like a feather? Oh! Nonsense!

"Yes, Illumi?" I gave him my feedback albeit disrespectfully. To think that I was inside his very room! His territory. But I don't want to pay even the slightest homage on this imp at all. Never.

"I noticed that you have not slept at all. Are you experiencing discomfort? If you are, then you can return to your own room and have your much needed relaxation."

Ugh! I hate his extreme formality! He made me feel that he was not the big brother who used to care for me before. Not anymore. I frowned turning my whole head and body to face him. "I can't sleep having you here, you know."

I saw him open his eyes, his long, thick lashes did not even flutter a bit. "Excuse me, my dear brother, but for your information, this room is mine. You are demanding of an impossible thing. If somebody needed to get out of here, it's you." He said firmly but calmly.

I dismissed his words shrugging. "I don't want to go anywhere else but here. Whether I sleep or not, it's not your business but mine alone." I know very well that my sharp words would annoy him. But then, I never got my desired feedback. He just stared at me. And stared. And stared again.

"Really?" he said blinking. Now it's I who was getting annoyed. Ergh! The nerve of this man! "Okay then. Good night, my brother."

I simply looked at him as he closed his eyes once more barely caring about my eyebrows almost forming a straight line above my eyes in seemingly intolerable anger. Ergh! I hate him!

But then, why have I decided to sleep on his bed in the first place? Yeah, well, I want to observe him. I have always seen how Hisoka's eyes looked at my brother with seeming desire. And now that Kurapika had freed Kuroro, that bastard with a cross on his head was doing his best to get close to my Kuya! And Coco was doing her best to be beautiful in front of my brother! And I even caught Bisuke throwing glances at him! What the heck! Well, was it really true, or just one of my imaginative delusions? I really don't know. But one thing is for sure: I can't allow those jerks take advantage of Illumi! Never!

I was getting so overprotective of him, right? But I can't help it. I don't know why. Maybe it's all instincts. The drive to protect one's kinsman. Ah, whatever reason it may be, I am going to shield this brother of mine from any harm as he had always protected me from the cruel piggy Milluki when I was a tiny baby.

Seems like paying back, huh? But I want to protect him so badly whether he liked it or not! I'm the heir of the Zaoldyeck and as the future patriarch of my family, it is my responsibility to take care of every member of my clan. Hey! But I don't want to accept my inheritance as an assassin, right?

Ergh! Enough! It makes my confusion stir up some more. I sat up the bed and shook Illumi's shoulders. "Hoi! Get up!"

He opened his eyes again. "What?" he asked without even a slight hint of irritation.

I opened my lips, but what am I going to say? What now? I sighed. "Nothing. Never mind." I said lying back the soft surface of the mattress.

"You are acting so strange now, my brother," he remarked, then he closed his eyes as if he saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing.

I frowned all over again. Wha! He's such a freak! But well, this freak is my brother and I do care for him. So what if I'm getting so corny over him? And I don't need to tell everything to him at all. Our brotherhood is enough to serve as evidence for my burning flame of concern. Maybe I can ask Gon to help me. Or Kurapika perhaps. Leorio...well, that old man could be sensible enough to give me a sound advice.

I finally decided to close my eyes. I'm getting drowsy now. Oh wait! What if this imp beside me wakes up earlier and leaves the house without me knowing that Hisoka or Kuroro or Coco or Bisuke have taken him prisoner and defiled his virgin body with their carnal, lewd, freaky desires? Argh! I need to do something!

I moved close to him, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer till I was finally clutching his arms, pinning his legs, snuggling on his right armpit. What a difficult sleeping position! But I can bear with it. Haha! This way I can detect even his slightest movements.

And finally, the drowsiness knocked me off. My awareness slipped slowly but I felt unusually happy. I was snuggling with him the way I have done when I was a little child. I felt those happy years come back to me... Wow... And my consciousness was gone.

naaaaAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

hope you enjoyed it! Please review if you have time.

TC always U and GOD Bless....

:)gyo