I set out to write a BellaxEmmett fic and ended up with a BellaxJapser.

Pretty happy with it though.

Bella and Jasper have known each other since childhood. They both love one another. Jasper, a Confederate soldier, has gone missing and is presumed dead. Bella is loosing her will to live. What will happen in the end? Will fate bring them together or is all hope lost.

Stephenie Meyer owns.

Preface

Sorrow

JPOV

I've lost the love of my life. I can never see her again. The worst part is I never had the chance to tell her how I felt.

Isabella Marie Swan, Bella for short. She was a young woman from my childhood. We were inseparable and our parents had arranged our marriage.

We would have been angry with them had we not been such great friends. We figured if we were not aloud to choose who we spent our lives with we had gotten the long end of the stick.

Even though we were to be wed and I had fallen for her I never once told her how I felt. For this I feel horrible. I know that she loved me or at least I believe she did. I have always been able to know what others were feeling but with her you could never be to sure. Her emotions always ran haywire. This was one of my favorite things about her, she always kept me guessing. But love was always there.

Now I can never see her again because of what I have become. They call me a vampire and want me to fight. I thirst for human blood and I have no control. This is why I can not see her. If I were to see her, I don't know what I would do. I can only assume her blood is of the finest caliber that of which I could not deny. I can not and will not bring her into this life. I would not be able to live with myself and I have a long life to live.

So I suffer in solitude. I follow my master's orders like the good weapon I am. It's funny how I used to enjoy all of this. Following directions, giving orders, being a part of a war. Before I was changed I was a Confederate soldier. In fact, I had moved through the ranks to become a Major. The youngest of my time and that was with my false age on the records.

Now I detest it all. It is because of this life that I have lost that of which I hold most dear. My precious Bella. My fragile, delicate, beautiful Bella. I can only hope that she will find someone else. I pray she does and I pray that she has a wonderful life. I want nothing but the best for her and I can no longer give it to her.

My new master, Maria, has been training me in the art of killing vampires. She says I have a knack for it and she wants me to be in charge of the others. I accepted her offer hoping it would keep my mind occupied. Maria's newborn army is expanding quickly and she's gaining a large territory.

She is happy with my skills and leadership. I am disgusted in the rewards she gives me. I wish there was another way to feed but she says there is none. We are hunters and humans are our prey. My instincts tell me she's right but I feel horrible.

I only accept men. The soft skin of women only reminds me of Bella and I don't want to imagine biting her, even though the thought has crossed my mind numerous times.

"Jasper!"

Sigh. Back to reality.

BPOV

He's dead. I can't believe it. I've lost him and I'll never see him again.

Two soldiers just left my home. They came to tell me my fiancé was missing and presumed dead.

Jasper Whitlock. My love. My life. I've known him for as long as I can remember and I can't think of a time that I didn't love him. We were going to be married soon. When he came back from his time at war. He had never told me he loved me but I know he did. I could feel it as if it radiated out of him and into me. I had never told him either but I knew he knew. That was what our relationship was like. We could read each other like no one else. We didn't need words. Our actions were enough.

I can feel myself falling into a dark pit of despair. I know he wouldn't want this for me but I can't envision a life without him. As time ticks by I can feel myself becoming numb. All is lost. He is gone. Soon, so will my will to live.

I lean against the door frame and collapse to the ground. Why did this have to happen? Why me? Why him? We were going to spend our lives together and now we can't. What am I supposed to do now? Move on? Find someone else? I could never do that. No one can match him. I would, I will never feel the same about another man ever. Jasper will always be my soul mate. I wish I could have told him at least once that I loved him.

I close my eyes wishing this was a dream.

"Bella!"

My eyes open and I can see an old friend running my way, Mary Sue. She stops in front of me and asks if I heard about Jasper yet. I nod and she tells me she's sorry. Why would she be sorry? It's not like she did it. She grabs my hand and asks me to go for a walk with her. The air would do me good. I agree and let her lead me into the woods. I don't see this helping me any, but maybe it can distract me for a little while.

It is getting dark. The temperature has dropped as it does in Texas at night. We are walking in silence. Mary Sue gave up on talking to me twenty minutes into the forest. I prefer it this way. The moon shines overhead casting light on the trail that leads us back to town.

It is silent enough that I can hear something rustling behind us. It's too big to be an animal but it's too quiet to be a person. I look over at Mary; she doesn't show any signs of hearing it.

I slow down and turn my head to look behind me. I don't see anything.

Great. Now I'm hearing things.

So there's the beginning. Tell me what you think please. Should I continue?