The Birds and the Bees

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The TARDIS hummed softly around him while Jamie walked down the hallway and headed for the living room. Walking toward the couch, he saw something sitting on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. Picking up the magazine on the top of the pile, he saw the picture of a very pretty woman on the cover and smiled. Opening the cover, he flipped through the pages and looked at the pictures. His eyes went wide while he looked at the pictures and he turned his head left and right.

"What'cha looking at?" asked Ben, coming into the room, and Jamie jumped, placing the magazine down on the coffee table.

"Och, it's na'!" said Jamie, blushing, and Ben walked to the couch. Sitting down, Ben looked at the magazines and smiled.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so that's where I left them!" said Ben, picking up the magazine and looked at the cover.

"Those are yours?"

"Yeah, though I have to hide them from Polly. She doesn't like them."

"I can see why," said Jamie. Ben laughed, opening the cover, and looked at the pictures. He noticed that Jamie glanced at the pictures as he turned the page and smiled.

"So, what do you think?"

"Um, they're very pretty."

"Have you ever seen a woman like that before?"

"Och, no, never!" said Jamie.

"Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft, you see, these birds..."

"I dinnae see any birds," said Jamie and Ben softly laughed.

"I meant the women. Anyway, they want to do have their pictures taken that way."

"Why?"

"Well, I guess some of them need the money. Then there are those that do it to further their careers."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take this one for instance," said Ben, pointing at a picture of a red haired woman. "She has the right looks to make it as an actress, someone who works in stage shows, so she does this to see if someone might want her for one."

"But she's…!"

"Yeah, she is."

"What do you think her family thinks of her prancing around like that?"

"They either don't know or they don't care."

"Shameful," said Jamie when Polly came into the room and smiled.

"There you two are!" said Polly and they looked at her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm teaching Jamie about women," said Ben while Polly walked to the couch and looked at the magazine.

"Ben Jackson, how dare you expose Jamie to this…this…this trash?!" shouted Polly, taking the magazine from him.

"What are you on about?! That there is art!"

"Well, Jamie is much too young for that sort of thing!"

"What do you mean he's too young?! He's…"

"I'm seventeen years old," said Jamie.

"He's seventeen! The same age as I was when I first looked through one of those!"

"And look how you turned out," said Polly.

"Hey!" said Ben, wide eyed.

"I still think Jamie is too young to be looking at that! Besides, it will give him the wrong idea!"

"There's no harm in looking!"

"It's still wrong!" said Polly when Jamie got up and left the room. Sighing, he walked down the hallway, while Polly and Ben's voice echoed behind him, and frowned. He walked by the doorway to the library when he heard someone call his name and stopped, looking into the room. The Doctor sat on one of the overstuffed chairs, with a book on his lap, and Jamie stood in the doorway.

"Are you all right?" asked the Doctor. Sighing, Jamie walked closer and sat down across from him.

"Aye an' no," said Jamie.

"What's the matter?"

"Well, I was in the other room an' found these flat books. I was looking at one and it had..." said Jamie, feeling the blush burning on his cheeks

"It had what?" asked the Doctor, placing the bookmark in the book.

"It had these images in it."

"What sort of images?"

"I dinnae think it is proper tae talk aboot it."

"Tell me."

"They were images of women with na' on."

"What?!" asked the Doctor, standing up.

"Doctor, please, it's all right. Ben explained it. The women wanted tae look like that."

"That's beside the point! You are much too young to be looking at things like that!"

"That's what Polly said."

"Polly saw them?"

"Aye, she did."

"But where did they come from?"

"They were Ben's."

"I see," said the Doctor, frowning.

"The thing is, when I was looking at them, I felt…"

"Yes?"

"Excited," said Jamie, blushing.

"I see."

"Dinnae get me wrong. I have kissed a girl before but I never saw one like that."

"When did you kiss a girl?"

"It was when I was thirteen. I was at a fair an' there was this booth. You paid to steal a kiss from this pretty lass an' Alexander made me to it."

"Alexander?"

"He was my laird's son."

"Was he the one that ran outside when the Redcoats surrounded the cabin?"

"Aye, that was him. We stood in line, waited until it was my turn an' Alexander nearly shoved me toward her. She was very pretty an' I was a wee bit scared."

"What was her name?"

"Colleen. I paid an' she took my head in her hands. She must have noticed that I had never kissed anyone before because she told me what tae do an' I kissed her."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Aye, I did an' she let me kiss her two more times. Said I wasnae a bad kisser," said Jamie, lowering his head.

"I see."

"But why did I feel excited from those images?" asked Jamie, making the Doctor stand up. Walking to the bookcase, the Doctor searched the shelves until he found the right book and walked back to the chair. Sitting down, the Doctor opened the book and felt a bit odd.

"Well, Jamie, the reason you felt that way was because…" said the Doctor as he started explaining and the TARDIS softly hummed in the distance.

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The End….