AN: I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD THE YELLING PART. AND I'M WARNING YOU AGAIN I AM NOT GOOD AT WRITING HILARIOUS STORIES, OR ANY WITH HUMOUR. JUST A HEADS UP. OH AND PLEASE REVIEW. IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME IF YOU DO.

EmPOV

"EMMETT!!" Edward yelled. As soon as they start yelling I know I am in for a whole bunch of trouble.

"WHAT!?!" I yelled back. If he wants to play like that then so be it. I will too. He will play daddy, and I'll be......who to be? who to be? I know who I can be. I can be the Uncle. I will play the clueless Uncle. That would work right? Sure it will, They already think I'm dumb and stupid. So it all works in my favor.

"WHY WOULD I PLAY THE DADDY!1 I ALREADY AM THE DAD. YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT I CAN ALSO READ MINDS SO KNOW EACTLY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. SO NONE OF YOUR CRAP WILL WORK.!! AND YOUR STUPIDINESS CRAP WON'T WORK ON US EITHER!! YOU ARE NOT STUPID. YOU JUST ACT LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD ALL THE TIME." I sooooooo love this game. This is my new all time favorite game.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO MY HUSBAND THAT WAY!!" DAMN!! My wife is hot angry. I better get some action after this. I better practice my breathing skills then. I heard that it is a good thing in having sex. (AN: for my fanfic friends who know me. I don't know the skills of having sex. I am just making this stuff up. so just deal with it.) The breathe in, then out, in, then out. I also heard your breathing is supposed to be in sync while you go in then out.

"YOUR HUSBAND IS THE ONE WHO TOLD MY DAUTHER ABOUT SEX!! AND YOU KNOW IT IS TRUE THAT EMMETT ACTS LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD ROSALIE, SO JUST SHUT YOUR FREAKING MOUTH. AND GOD EMMETT, STOP THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH ROSALIE!!" ouch. who knew screaming hurts your vampire ears. I guess it didn't really affect me when I was thinking. I think that is why my hurts don't hurt until now. But hearing Edward all irritated and all makes me want to laugh, all night long.

We were so caught up screaming at each other, that they didn't notice Nessie start to come down the stairs. They stopped yelling at each other as soon as they heard her. "Mommy, my ears hurt. And I'm tired. Can you please tuck me in now?"

"Okay sweetie." Bella said sweetly following her upstairs.

"We will finish this tomorrow when Nessie is in school Emmett." Edward threatened. At least I don't have to get yelled at today.

The Next Day- Nessie is at school

"Why did you tell Renesmee about sex Emmett. Just please tell me." Eddie-boy seems calmer now. So I guess I should tell him.

"Nessie is old enough to know Edward. Guys are starting to go after her. Guys will try to get her in bed. And how would you know, she maybe having sex right know. Or I should say animal sex. I would laugh if she comes home saying 'Daddy, Daddy, guess what?' and you would answer ' what sweetie?' and then she would be like 'I just had animal sex. I just kissed this boy in my class named Josh.' So you see what I mean. Guys like Josh are no good" I explained.

"Emmett, who the hell is Josh. And how would you know what Josh is like? Also how would you know other guys like Josh are no good?" Edward asked. hmmmm.....how to answer that?

"Okay. So you see, Josh is a made up character that I just made up on the spot. I know what Josh is like because I made him up. And I know that other guys like Josh are bad, because I used to be like him. Does that answer all your question Eddie-boy?" I asked answering all his questions.

"Do not call me Eddie. Only Bella can call me that. And what did you mean about being like 'Josh'" Edward asked, putting hand quotations on Josh's name.

"Well. When I was Nessie's age I used to hit on girls. And I used to try to get them in bed, but they would always refuse. Except for this one girl Lisa, no Leena, No Lasha, Oh wait. Her name was Lumpa Umpa. so you see why I told Nessie about sex. I'm just looking out for her." I explained. but it is the truth.

"Who the hell is Lumpa Umpa?" Ummm.... That is a very hard question.

"She was my ex-girlfriend in grade 11. And that was her nickname." I answered truthfully.

"Here I thought you were 6 when you started thinking about having sex with girls apparently not." Edward said obviously stressed.

"I was!!" I defended.

"So what you are saying is that, you were 6 years old when you were in grade 11?" He asked. he did have a point there. But hold up. Here I thought grade 11 are filled with 6 year olds. Apparently not.

"Whoops my badddd." I said with my head hanging down.

"I'm telling Esme and Carlisle, and so help me god, that they will ground you from having sex with Rosalie for a year. I'm leaving you in their hands, since I absolutely don't know what I am going to do with you." Edward said.

b-bu-but-t....but....but.... My Rosie-poo. How on earth am I going a whole year without having sex with Rosie. I need her. But there must be ways I can satisfy myself.

PLEASE REVIEW, AND TELL ME IF YOU LIKE.