Red x Green

How can something you've imagined your whole life become something so terrifying? I used to dream I could lay here like this beside that one special person who made me feel like I could do anything. Now that same person makes me feel timid and scared, something I never thought I could ever feel.

How miserable am I? The self-proclaimed toughest fighter, the strongest superhero on Earth, so afraid to go to bed at night. A Powerpuff Girl being raped? How is that even possible? It just sounds so stupid and ridiculous. I actually want to laugh out loud when I stop to think about it. Then I just want to curl up and cry when I remember how true it is.

When it started, I was the happiest person on Earth, I just know it. Everyone could tell I was in the best mood of my life, even if I wouldn't tell them why. Afterall, I couldn't tell them, no one would understand. More likely, they'd probably tell me it was wrong and make me stop. And just between us...even now after all that's happened and how scared my lover makes me, I won't...can't give it up. I know my lover would never forgive me if I just up and said it was over. I've seen those eyes at their angriest, I don't want to imagine how they might look if I said I was leaving.

It started fluffy and warm, happy and cozy. We'd sneak off to be alone together, cuddling and kissing. Well...the kissing started a little too early, I really wasn't comfortable with it yet. We'd just gotten together! Isn't there like a three date waiting period or something? That should have been my first clue...after kissing came fondling, petting...and then one night, I just suddenly found myself naked and squirming underneath. I actually cried. God, that kills me more than anything that's happened.

All my lover wanted to do was love me and I got scared and cried. No amount of whispers, tender kisses and soft reassurance made it any better. Two years later and I still cry occasionally, but I try to hide it. I really don't want to be a burden. This is my fault anyway, for being so slow and underdeveloped. I should have been ready, my lover was expecting me to be ready. I was a terrible disappointment...just like every other time I was needed.

"Buttercup what's wrong? You're crying..." I curled up tighter, shuddering when a soft hand trailed up my side, gently fondling my naked chest. I tried to choke back the tears, but a few more slipped through. At least this time I'd made it all the way through before blubbering like a baby.

"No I'm fine..." Strong arms—much stronger than I'd ever thought—pulled me closer, a warm naked body pressing against me. Even if I was scared and crying, I couldn't resist falling back into that embrace. It was times like this that reminded me, reassured me that I really did love this person, even if the way they loved me hurt so much. Two years, we'd been together two years now. I was fifteen years old, I shouldn't be this immature anymore...I should be able to take it.

"...I love you, you know that right? I love you more than anything," I was pulled even closer, my lover nuzzling my neck, smothering it with warm kisses. I moaned, the feeling of hot breath against my ear so familiar and frightening. I rolled over to face my lover, who pulled me closer. Our lips pressed together fiercely, making me wince and shudder. It hurt...I was still getting used to that.

We parted, and slowly I looked up, into the loving, tender pink eyes staring down at me. Without hesitation, and with all the honesty in the world I replied.

"I know. I love you too Blossom, more than anything..."