Chapter 5: prayer

Laura sat on the edge of the bed, her head bent over the metallic tablet in her palm, as she read the text on the screen. She occasionally scrolled it further down with her finger in a stroking motion.

She had already spent time admiring the device, and asking questions about how it worked. She'd been instructed, by Julian, to read the text; and had also been informed that she would be tested on the knowledge later.

As far as she could tell, the document detailed information about the present circumstances, to bring a new recruit up to date. It did little to satisfy her curiosity, as she was so far behind on modern technology to begin with.

The language appeared to be very simplified compared to the text she was used to reading. Some words she did not understand. When she arrived at a picture of a brown globular-shaped thing—covered in a criss-cross of molten lava and patches of fire—she observed it for a while, horrified. This must be a picture of hell.

Underneath was the caption: Earth.

BZZZT!

Laura got to her feet and shuffled toward the door, still holding the tablet. She reached out and pressed a button; the metal door slid open smoothly, and she found herself face-to-face with Julian, who looked happy.

"The request is in," he said, leaning on the doorframe. "Next step…we see the General. If all goes well, we can have a proper ceremony and get the paper we need."

Laura tilted her head. "The certificate," she said.

"Yeah." Julian also tilted his head, then leaned in closer and pressed his lips against hers for a moment. "How are you settling in? Got any more questions?"

Laura hesitated, and smiled. "Aye…many questions." She looked down at the tablet in her palm; and then at him, questioningly. "This…"

"Looks pretty grim, doesn't it?" Julian asked, the happiness fading from his expression.

Her eyebrows drew together. "Did…"

"That picture was taken from space…a week after it happened." His voice sounded flat.

Laura looked back down at the picture. "It cannot be real," she said. "God would not allow for this to happen. His beautiful creation."

Julian sighed, rubbed his forehead. "Do you want to see it?" he asked.

She hesitated, then nodded. He took her by the hand and pulled her down the hallway, the door closing automatically behind them.

…

"There, see?" Julian placed his finger, on the glass. Against the area of darkness a brown planet occupied, its surface cracked, and in some areas, bright orange.

Obviously devoid of life.

Laura put her hand on the glass, her thickly fringed eyes moving back and forth. "I still cannot believe it."

"Most of us are still trying to wrap our minds around it," he said, softly. They were on the observation deck; the part of the ship that pointed forward, if they ever flew it anywhere. Beyond the earth was a deep field of stars, much closer looking than they had been on the planet. Julian remembered lying in a field—with Laura after they had been together the first time—and thinking how much less frightening they had looked when a layer of ozone existed between him and their raw beauty.

Laura looked up at him, as if reading his mind; for a moment he wonders if she had.

"Your scent…it changed," she murmured.

"Oh." Julian flushed slightly. "Forgot you could smell me. I was thinking about…well…that time in the clearing."

Her eyes widened. "You mean…my moon time." She made the sign of the cross over her chest; much more odd looking now that she wore a uniform like his instead of a Quaker's dress.

"Don't do that." Julian caught her fingers. "'Moon' time?"

"I do not want to speak of this." She gazed at him, then reached out with her free hand and cupped his chin. "You have not shorn your beard."

Julian grinned, at the odd word; she slipped her thumb into the dimple caused. A moment later he pinned her against the wall and began to kiss her, in a deeper and slower manner than before. She let him do so.

"Ahem."

They stopped at the noise, and Julian looked over his shoulder. "Sofia."

"Julian."

Silence. He leaned away from Laura, who watched them, uncertain.

"Could I speak with you for a moment?" Sofia asked.

"Sure."

"Alone."

Julian gave Laura an apologetic glance, then followed the other girl out, to the hallway leading to the observation deck.

"Julian, you should not engage in public displays of affection."

"You're jealous."

A pause. Laura wondered if they knew she could hear.

"Perhaps. I do not understand why you like her better than me."

"Sof…it's not that…you're a great girl. I couldn't wait anymore."

Pause. "I'll always care about you…but that place is filled, okay?"

A sniffle. Sofia started to cry. Laura looked down, uncertain.

"Hey, don't." Rustles. "Don't cry. There's someone else for you."

"N-no there isn't."

Sofia's voice lowered to a whisper. "I want you."

Silence.

Laura looked up at the stars and leaned on the railing. She closed her eyes, and thought of her God, of her world of animals and trees and grass, and of the way she, too, had felt there would be no one else for her, when Julian had resisted her.

She understood Sofia, and felt her pain; and suddenly didn't feel as angry at her as she had once been. Her lips moved as she whispered the Mennonite Disciple's Prayer:

"Abba Father God, bless your holy name. Let your reign come now, let your desires be carried out. Bring your peace to birth, as in heav'n, so on Earth. Give us bread, daily; free us, as we free. When the way is hard, be our guide and guard. Your rule, power; and praise reign supreme, always."

In the background, she heard Julian murmur something to the other girl.

"Guide her, please," she mouthed, then opened her eyes and looked at the mass of death she used to know as her world.

"And guide us."

Laura heard footsteps at the entry to the Observation deck.

"Who are you talking to?" Julian asked.

"The Lord," Laura said calmly.

"I had my pick of the ladies, and I always pick the religious type," he said, moving closer. "Maybe I like corrupting you, or something."

She looked at him, alarmed; he grinned. "It was a joke."

"This joke is thy version of a jest?" she asked cautiously.

"Something like that." He put his arm around her waist, and gazed into the distance, then shuddered. "C'mon…let's go back to the rooms. A man could lose himself out here if he looks too long."

"Aye." Laura nodded. "My father once told me that the stars are the souls of the lost and departed. Gazing into them might tempt them too hardily."

"That's a creepy thought." Julian guided her towards the hallway. "I thought you believed in heaven, and hell…and all that."

"I do," Laura said. "Somehow, though, I think he was right. Perhaps not all of the soul goes away, at death. The stars are too beautiful to be just clouds of gas, as the literature thou gave to me described."

"I love the way you talk," Julian said.

"I do not speak in a distinctive manner."

"Oh yes you do." He now directed her back towards her quarters. "Makes me want to shower you with kisses all over."

"'Kisses'?" Laura asked. He punched in the code to her door, and they entered, the door shutting swiftly behind them.

"This." He pressed his lips against her again, then reached out and took the tab of her front zipper between his fingers. Her eyes closed, then opened wide as he pulled the fastener down, exposing her skin.

A few minutes later, he was backing her towards the sleeping platform, and her skin was covered in goose bumps. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her expression shy and inquisitive. He began to wonder just how much she remembered of the two experiences they'd shared. Anything? Both had taken place during times of various influences; once when she was drunk, and another—on her insistence—during a time she might have not been thinking with a clear head, given that she was running with a pack of hunting wolves.

"You're so kissable," he whispered, feeling her stop as they reached the platform. She smiled; he laid her down gently and began to roll her uniform off her shoulders, revealing smooth skin. As he worked his way down her front, she began to breathe heavier; he'd almost reached his main destination when it happened.

CAPTAIN KELLER, PRIVATE KINNEY. TO MY OFFICE, AT ONCE.

"Aah!" Laura yelped, sitting up slightly and looking around.

"Got to be kidding me," Julian said, closing his eyes. "Alright. We have to go."

"N-now?" she asked, her gaze turning to him. "But…we are…I am not sure how to describe this," she looked flustered.

"It's called sex, Laura," he said. "Or we would have had it, if Frost wouldn't just barge into brains whenever she wants…even though we're off-duty." He got to his feet, then held his hand out to the girl on the bed; after a moment of hesitation, she pulled the sleeves of her uniform back on, re-zipped it, and let him help her up.

…

"Took you long enough," Frost said, not looking up from her papers. "Sit."

Julian pulled out a chair and offered it to Laura; she accepted it, and sat down. He shortly followed suite, and looked at his commander-slash-teacher.

"What is it? Ma'am?"

"You will speak when ordered, Captain," the woman said, her voice hard. "I have come to a decision about Private Kinney's place in our enterprise."

Julian stiffened. The moment he'd been afraid of.

The girl beside him sensed his agitation, and felt mildly bothered as well. She wasn't certain if she liked Frost yet or not. The woman was far different from the Quakers she had grown up with. All the females on the vessel were, but she in particular was so fundamentally against everything her culture stood for. Imagine, a woman in a position of command!

"I have decided against placing her on the Earth Colonization unit," Frost said.

Julian visibly relaxed.

"She will, instead, be placed on the new unit that General Magneto has ordered me to create." Frost fixed her former student and protégé with a cold look. "This unit will travel far and wide in search of habitable worlds, while keeping one main destination as its charted course: a search for the Phoenix Egg."

"You can't!" Julian seemed to explode, his expression one of alarm.

"Lieutenant-General Wolverine will command this expedition." Frost continued to examine the young man, no sympathy in her features.

"She hasn't had any training!" He shouted. "You can't send her off like this! She—"

"It comes to my attention—since you make a point of bringing it up so often—that you do not have a posting, Captain." Frost leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her hands clasped in front of her. "I have decided to give you one."

"Miss Frost—"

"Commander Frost."

"I'm imploring you…please! Don't! I don't want the post—I don't want anything if you're going to make it so that I—"

"Am I to take it, Keller, that you do not want the posting?"

"No way in hell!" Julian folded his arms.

"I will inform General Magneto, then." Frost paused, and a hint of a smile crossed her lips. "Pity. I thought you would have made an excellent First Officer. You could learn a lot from Wolverine, you know."

Julian stared at his mentor. "Wha—I'm going, too?"

Frost nods. "You will embark in three weeks from today. This should give plenty of time for preparations. Wolverine will be arriving soon, to make choices for the rest of your crew; you should also be able to tie up any loose ends you may have." She eyed her student, and he remembered his scheduled appearance with the General.

"Should do it," Julian said.

"The ship will be much smaller than these vessels. Much smaller. And much faster. The idea is that you very well may have opportunities to get out and stretch your legs, therefore not requiring such a large permanent habitat." Frost raised her eyebrows. "The craft is very impressive. Forge has truly outdone himself."

"But—what about energy, for the engines? And food?"

"I am sure you will be briefed with the ship schematics in due course, Keller. I will summon you to my office again when the Lieutenant-General arrives. Dismissed, Keller, Kinney."

Julian zipped out as if shot from a spring; Laura followed him, a little more slowly. Outside the door, he was practically bouncing up and down in excitement. "Holy crap! I can't believe it! This is awesome! This is going to kick so much ass, Laura!"

Laura raised her eyebrows imploringly.

"Sorry. I'm really excited." He put his hands on her waist. "We stay together. And…I'm in charge! Well, second in charge…but still. And we get to see a lot of really cool stuff! Different planets…there might even be animals, Laura!"

She stopped. "Animals? Like my wolves? And cows?"

Julian shuddered at the mention of cows. "No cows, please. If an Earth-cow is freaky…a space cow has got to be hella creepy. Probably a meat-eater."

Laura smiled slightly.

"I don't know if they'd be the same. But it'd be something,right?" He looked so enthusiastic, so hopeful that she would be pleased by this, that she nodded. He kissed her forehead, and she closed her eyes.

"Got to tell Cess, and Santo! Come on!" He grabbed her by the wrist and broke into a run, pulling her behind him.