Chapter 5
"Fate-chan"
"Fate-chan"
"FATE-CHAN"
The voice was getting louder and clearer each time her name was repeatedly called. She didn't know nor can she tell who the voice belonged to. It sounded soft and sweet yet with hidden sadness and anger.
"FATE-CHAN"
The voice was louder and angrier this time but she couldn't grasp the reason as she was tired, her body was numbed and her mind was gazed. All she wanted was to close her eyes, to be released by this torment yet a part of her doesn't. The anger she heard brought a sense of familiar, a sense of closeness that she could not ignored. Even with anger, the tone was warm, sending weird sensations throughout her body. And only one person she knew who can have such effects…
"I HATE YOU"
Eyes flung opened.
Nanoha.
At a speed she didn't know she was capable of, she flew to direction of that loving voice, seeking its beautiful owner. The injured, the cuts, and the bloods are still visible, but they no longer matter. Comparing to Nanoha, nothing mattered. Within a matter of seconds, they stood there staring at each other, mesmerizing in their lost gaze. It was evident; it was obvious; the anger, hatred, fears, sadness, and love were all visible in those teary blue eyes. Collectively, their hands move up, wanting to caress each other, to embrace each other again, but only to be separated by a barrier.
"Nanoha…"
"Fate-chan…"
"Please leave. It's dangerous here"
"I hate you Fate-chan." Nanoha murmured and continued, "You're very selfish you know that." Those mix emotions in her eyes had fled only to be left with determination. "You wouldn't possibly think I would watch you die right?"
"Nanoha…Please, listen to me. You need to go now. You can't summon your magic. Your body is too weak to accommodate it. You'll only inflict damage upon yourself and the baby." Her voice was spoken louder than she had intended. She didn't want to yell…but if she must, she would.
Nanoha chuckled.
"Fate-chan…" Standing up slowly without breaking the eyes contact, she continued, "What make you think that I would want to live without you…"
"Nanoha…" she mumbled as Nanoha's feet slowly rise from the ground.
"Nanoha…" she said louder this time.
"NANOHA…" she yelled but Nanoha wasn't going to back down, wasn't going to listen to her. Sometimes she just wishes Nanoha wasn't as stubborn as she is.
"I'm going to break that barrier Fate-chan. Please bear with me."
"Shit, Nanoha, you silly girl. You're going to hurt yourself." She cursed inwardly. I must do something or else…or else…, she thought as Nanoha continued to rise higher. Turning her attention towards her opponent, she sensed amusement flickering in their eyes. It disgusted her. She hated them. Hated them for placing her in this situation. Hated them for putting the life of a person she had treasured most on the line. She must eliminate them. And she must do it fast. For Nanoha's sake.
"Bardiche. Blitz Rush."
Nanoha, I can do it. I will do it. For you.
"Plasma lancer" Fate yelled as a collection of energy balls appeared aiming straight at her target.
"Riot Zamber"
Upon demanded, the staff transformed into two sabre like form with a magical string at the end of each hilt connecting both of them.
Clash! Clash!
-
Nanoha was exhausted, from what, she wasn't sure. Perhaps the pregnancy. There was a dramatic difference in her magic power now that she's pregnant, she noted.
"Barrier Burst."
Failed.
Frustration.
"Barrier Burst"
Failed.
Anger.
[Fate!] tone covered with concern even in telepathy, as her eyes take in the view of Fate's body coming in contact with the hard ground, forcefully.
[I'm alright Nanoha]
Eyes closed, hands clenched tightly around the staff, summoning all the power within her body, occluding it at the tip of her staff forming a still-growing power ball.
You can't die Fate-chan. I haven't given you permission yet.
"Starlight break-"
Her command was cut off as her hand immigrated to her stomach, clenching tightly onto her uniform. It hurts. It was excruciating. It was her baby calling out for her. For her to stop, for her baby was also in pain.
"I'm sorry…But I must do this. Please forgive my selfishness." She mumbled softly, giving it one last gentle rub before placing her hand back to its earlier position, ignoring the pain, physically and emotionally. "Please forgive mama…"
"Starlight…breaker…"as a single tear rolls down her cheeks.
"Nanoha…NO!"
Her red eyes flung opened, her heartbeat was rapid, and her breathing was deep and shallow.
Infirmary, she noted as her eyes scanned the surroundings only to stop at the occupied bed not far from her. It was no other than Nanoha who occupied the space unconsciously. Her Nanoha.
Abruptly, she jumped off the bed ignoring her head-throbbing pain and her ached body, heading to the person she loved most.
Fate smiled.
Nanoha was alive and breathing as she observed the rise and fall of her breathing. No bandages, no cuts, and no burns. Everything was fine. Nanoha was fine. The baby was...
Oh god, please no. Tentatively, she placed a hand on Nanoha's now flat stomach. It was no longer distended; no longer have its lovely oval shape that Nanoha always complain of.
"Do I look fat Fate-chan?" Nanoha asked, observing herself in front of a long mirror in their room. It has been almost 3 months now that she had been pregnant and the fetal had emigrated from the pelvic area, making it more visible to the naked eyes.
"No you don't, Nanoha" Fate assured her in amusement.
"Did you know that I no longer can fit into my uniform anymore?"
"Well…that's understandable, it is not?"
"So I do look fat!"
"…"
"I'm sorry..." her voice was low, filled with pain and guilt. "I'm sorry..." she repeated again as her eyes threaten to release those trapped tears. She'd blamed herself for her weakness, for her failure, and for the pain she had inflicted on her beloved. If only she was stronger, then this won't happen. If only she didn't exist, the pain would never appear.
Even with all the complaints, she knew Nanoha loved her unborn. It might be an accident, might be unexpected, but they both learned to accept it and came to love it for the same unspoken reason, love.
"I don't think you can hear anything yet Fate-chan" Nanoha beamed as her fingers stroked the blonde's hair gently. She love this position, love the skin contact, but she especially love being in the blonde's tone arms.
Ear to belly, Fate listened attentively. Nanoha was right, she couldn't hear anything. "Yes, I can. She said 'Hi Fate-mama' just now." She joked.
"She eh?" she replied in amusement. Fate was cute before, but now, for some unknown reason, she was unbelievably cuter.
"Yup. Her voice was loud and bossy just like her Nanoha-mama." Fate teased.
"Mou…Fate-chan" Moving her hand, her intention was to playfully slap Fate's, only to ended up being caught and captured in a firm hold. Fate was very playfully tonight, very flirty in a way also, she noted, as she felt continuous loving strokes.
"Then what would you like to name her Fate-chan?"
"Hmm" she hummed as her mind pondered. "I don't know Nanoha. I'm not really good with names. What do you have on mind?"
"Well…I have been giving it some thought. What do you think of 'Ai', Fate-chan?" Ai might sound plain to some, might sound too simple for others, but to Nanoha, it was the best name. Ai means love, symbolizing the love they both hid.
"Ai. Ai Takamachi." Fate like always was oblivious to any give hidden message but it didn't stop her from loving the name. "Did you hear? Your name is Ai now." She spoke softly in a joyous tone to her unborn baby. "Let us fly together ne, when you're born. With Nanoha-mama and Vivio."
"Silly Fate-chan."
Fate didn't know when the tears in her eyes escaped creating a damp spot on the white blanket and she didn't care. The rage and self-loathed have pushed all emotions aside. She'd failed at protecting those she loved and had failed miserably in the role of a parent, the child she'd failed to keep safe.
She needed to get out. To release the anger and the hatred on no one but herself.
If only she never existed.
Rose to her feet, she turned around to leave. Destination, unknown; somewhere, anywhere she can't cause pain.
"Please…" the person who caught her wrist spoke lowly, lacking the energy. "Don't go…"
"I'm sorry Nanoha…" she apologized again now to the conscious Nanoha. "If I don't go…I'll..." she couldn't continue. Hands clenched into a fist, eyes closed, and words trapped. She felt like she will explode or suffer from some kind of mental breakout. Anywhere but here.
"You'll…only hurt me." Tighten the hold around the wrist, she continued, "If you go."
The voice was merely a whispered, but Fate heard it, nice and clear, which confused her. "Why…"
Tugging on the hand, she pulled Fate back, facing her. "Because if you go…" guiding Fate's hand in her own to her left chest, atop her beating heart. "My heart will stop beating."
More tears.
Pulling Fate down for a comforting embrace, which she noted was helpful, as Fate relaxed herself. "I was the one who made the selfish decision. I was told of the possible outcome…but I…" she sighed, placing a lingering kiss on Fate's temple. "I don't think I'm strong enough…to live a life without you. It hurts a lot just thinking of it."
"Nanoha…"
"Please listen, Fate-chan. Please don't blame yourself. Please understand that I, Nanoha Takamachi, will give up anything, everything to see you alive, even if it cost my life." Placing another kiss on her forehead, she tightened her arms around Fate's slender waist. She was sad. She was devastated but she must remain strong. Fate needed her just as much as she needed Fate. No doubt, it had left an unforgettable scar but they will face it together, will overcome it together.
"I wouldn't want to survive, if it cost you your live…"
"Is that a confession?" she lightly teased, attempting to change the mood. It was overall, the correct decision. To have Fate in her arms; yes it was a selfish decision. "You know Fate-chan…we can always make more."
Face flushed, eyes widened. "W-we…c-can?" she stuttered in embarrassment.
So cute. So right. "Can we?"
"I-if…th-that's..wha-what you want." More stuttering.
"I want. I want…ten." Nanoha laughed.
"…"
"I love you Fate-chan."
"I love you too Nanoha."
Those words were like magic, transmitting a tremendous amount of warmth and love throughout her body. Those words sounded so sweet, so loving, and so pleasant to the ears, putting the letter Fate left behind in shame.
I Love You
- Fate Testarossa
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A/N:
Sorry for the late update. Exams took most of my time.
Should I end the story here? It does seem like the perfect ending I think. What do you guys think?
Hope you guys enjoy it :)