Title: Fire With Fire
Summary: Reno ticks Tseng off. Zack ticks Sephiroth off. Sephiroth decides to fight fire with fire. Rating for m/m relationship, fluffy fun, and cursing.

Dedicated to: Brian for the inspiration to write Zack/Reno in the first place, and Cerebra Leader Aoki for leaving such an awesome first review for Mako Tears. Thanks so much, both of you!

Sephiroth prided himself at keeping his cool. He was The General. He was feared among the ranks of ShinRa from the lowliest cadet in the Army to the President himself. Nothing ruffled his feathers. Then again, no one tended to be suicidal enough to play practical jokes on him. That is, no one had dared to until Zack Fair joined the ranks. He had to hand it to Zack - the jokes were a bit more sophisticated than a child could muster up, and obviously took some time and effort to pull off.

But getting the honey and jam off his leather coat was going to take time and money, and Sephiroth could feel the slight twitching of his right eyeball as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"Cadet Zack Fair. Report to me in thirty minutes. My office."

There was a deadly hush that fell over the training grounds, and Sephiroth took some satisfaction in seeing the kid blanch from fifty feet away. Good. He -should- be scared.

"Dude... man... you're toast," the General heard one of the other cadets whisper to Zack before he disappeared into the barracks and headed toward his office.

He rounded a corner, hoping that he'd be able to take the sticky coat off soon, but it seemed that fate wasn't ready for that JUST yet. An explosion rocked the building, and once he'd steadied himself, he ran toward the source - sticky coat forgotten for the time. What the HELL had that been? He found out soon enough as one of the Turks in training, Reno, was being dragged through the halls by Tseng's hand pinching his ear.

"Owowoww... Yo, man, letgoletgoletgo! I'm coming!" the kid was yelping, and the General smirked.

"Tseng," he uttered quietly, then gestured down the hall toward his office. "Bring him to my office. I think I have a solution to both of our frustrations." Reno visibly swallowed, his naturally pale skin going sickly white. The General had a reputation, and Reno wasn't dense enough not to know that reputation.

"Sir, I promise I'll be good.. I'll stop with the antics, I swear it... just set my punishment and let me go back to my apartme..."

"Reno!" Tseng snapped, then gestured outside. "You blew up a helicopter! Do you really think you'd get off THAT easy?"

A tiny whimper left Reno's lips. He was mincemeat.

Sephiroth smirked, then let Tseng lead the way - Reno still in ear-tow - toward his office.

Once inside, Sephiroth quickly removed his coat and buckles, opting to wear a more formal uniform jacket for the time being. Once that was done, he tugged his sticky silver hair into a ponytail to keep it from doing too much damage to the new jacket. He sat himself in his chair, then gestured for Tseng and Reno to both sit in the empty chairs across the desk from him. "Tseng, as you likely already understand, I'm having my own difficulties keeping a cadet of mine acting properly. Normally, this would be solved by removing them from the military, but - like with your problems with Reno - Zack has proven to be too great an asset to release as a civilian again. So I suggest that we fight fire with fire."

Tseng considered the idea. "We run the risk of creating a firestorm none of us can put out," he began, eyeing the General cautiously. "But if it works..." Sephiroth nodded, a nerve-shattering smile touching his lips. Reno gave another visible swallow. The man was even more freaky when he smiled! He was in deep shit, it would seem.

"Reno. To compensate for your mishap, both you and Zack Fair will be completing two tasks together. The first will be to rid my coat of the filth that Zack managed to adhere to it. The second will be to assemble another helicopter to replace the one you've ruined. The cleansers, parts and machinery necessary to complete the tasks will be provided to you at no cost, but the time spent to complete the tasks will be yours. Every day after training you will work to accomplish these tasks. You will have no free time and no base leave until these tasks are complete. Do you understand?"

The Turk nodded quickly, then nervously gestured to the door. "Sirs, may I go now?" Tseng smirked.

"Why, Reno, do you find our company unpleasant?" his commanding officer asked almost sweetly. Shit. And here he thought he'd be able to escape!

"N.. no, sir. Just wanting to get prepared for the work ahead."

Sephiroth smirked. "I'd rather you stayed. Your companion in this disciplinary action will be arriving soon. I'd like you to meet him, first." He took some delight when the kid's shoulders sagged, defeated.

"Yes, sir." Still scared, still fidgeting. But he remained in his chair and tried to keep his hands to himself. Sephiroth spent the time chatting with Tseng, working out the details as to when supplies could be ordered for the new chopper, then continued with pleasantries of the day, how they were doing, even talk of the company picnic coming up! Reno was going mad. He he was, sitting in the General's office, the possibility of getting skewered on that freakishly long sword still remaining to some degree, and Sephiroth and Tseng were talking about sandwiches!

He was relieved, then, when a knock sounded at the door. Sephiroth gave word for them to enter, and Reno twisted in his chair... and gaped.

He was so ... so... fucking ... screwed.

Zack was gorgeous. Edible. It was all Reno could do to keep his control. Sephiroth smirked to himself - this had been a very good idea. From the way Reno was oogling Zack, and the way Zack kept sparing small glances over at Reno, Sephiroth knew that this was going to work out just fine. Their energy, he hoped, would be spent more on each other than on the rest of the base.

"Cadet Fair, this is Trainee Reno..." he blinked, then looked to Tseng, who shook his head.

"Just Reno. No surname."

Sephiroth nodded, then continued. "Trainee Reno, then. You will be serving in this disciplinary action with him and you will work together to complete two tasks, both set to right the wrongs you've both committed. The first is to make sure that my coat is cleaned properly. The second is to build a new helicopter to replace the one that Reno has expertly blown up." Zack whistled lowly at the feat, then cast Reno an approving grin.

"Impressive."

Reno smirked, feeling just a little more confident. "Thanks."

Tseng closed his eyes, trying to keep himself from smacking the two of them.

"Report here at fourteen-hundred hours, after your afternoon lunch, to collect the coat and the cleaning supplies. You will follow the directions exactly. If any further harm comes to that coat, I will make a new one out of your hides. Do I make myself clear?" Both of the teenage trainees snapped to attention and nodded seriously.

"Crystal, Sir," Zack replied, while Reno quipped a quick "yes, sir!"

"Dismissed." Both leaders let the two go, and they headed to the mess hall for lunch. On the way, Zack arched a dark brow in Reno's direction. "By 'blown up', what exactly are we talking about?" he asked curiously, a little surprised when Reno flashed him a dangerous grin.

"Blown up. As in 'no longer whole'... I doubt there's a piece left of the thing larger than my hand, save for the blades." Zack whistled again and Reno blushed slightly.

"Very impressive." He glanced the lanky kid up and down for a moment, wondering just how a small kid like that could be so capable, but shrugged. Turks were a strange group.

"Was testing out a new configuration in the electronics of a bomb I'm working on. But one of the other trainees tried to play hot-potato with the thing, the fecking idiot. By the time I got it back, it was on 4 seconds and counting. Even a Turk can't disarm a bomb that quickly. I had no choice - I threw it into the closest enclosed area I could find - the cockpit of that chopper. Shame to have lost such a pretty thing, but at least I know the bomb works. Gotta show Tseng next time I get a chance to build another one."

Zack chuckled. "You're something else, Red." Reno beamed.

"Not so bad, yourself. Takes guts to go after Sephiroth." It was Zack's turn to blush.

"They're working well together, General. I must say, that was a spectacular idea you had, pairing them up." Tseng approached the silver-haired man, eyeing the two as they passed tools between each other, the shell of the chopper already beginning to form. The General -adorned in his freshly cleaned coat- only nodded, a faint smirk touching his lips as he saw Zack's hand linger on Reno's for a little longer than necessary, and Reno's subsequent blush. It had been happening more and more - a lingering glance, an oddly-timed touch... Sephiroth was trying to figure out ...

"How long do you think it will take before they realize there's an attraction there, Tseng?" The Turks leader only shook his head.

"I honestly couldn't tell you. Reno is normally not so oblivious, but matters of the heart often blind a person." He smiled slightly, taking a sip from his mug of tea. "Of course, they're also exhausted." As if to prove it, Zack took a faltering step and nearly fell, but Reno moved just quickly enough to save him a nasty drop to the tarmac below. They stayed that way, Reno clutching Zack close and Zack frozen from surprise, for a good minute before they began to hesitatingly move again. Tseng wasn't all that sure if Zack didn't understand by now what was going on, even if Reno remained ignorant of the mutual attraction.

Indeed, Sephiroth was eyeing the young, dark-haired man intently. "I'll wager twenty gil that Zack will make his move today, if I'm not mistaken. He's already noticed your Turk's reaction to him," he uttered, and it would take an expert in Sephirothese to pick up on the subtle note of pride in his voice - it would be HIS recruit and not Tseng's that would initiate the budding romance.

Romance? The General shook his head, not really believing that he was standing there, side by side with Tseng, fussing over their recruits like a pair of old granny matchmakers. How embarrassing. Yet he stood there, transfixed on the scene before them through the office window. Every so often Reno would release what Tseng knew was a string of curses at one item or another and Zack would step in to place a finger here or there to help push something or hold another item in place, and Reno's cussing would be instantly replaced with a look of intense concentration.

Tseng gave a slight nod to the offer of a bet. While he was sure that Zack would be making the move necessary, to have courage in one area of life was not the same as having the courage to confront the object of one's affections. Unless something drastic happened between that moment and midnight, Zack wouldn't have the courage. Tseng was almost positive.

And then it happened. The moment Sephiroth was waiting for and Tseng hoped wouldn't happen. That drastic event. Reno had been standing up from his spot when two ball bearings rolled just beneath his foot. His foot flew upward, taking the rest of his lower half in a similar direction while his top half was flung downward. Zack gave a shout from the looks of things, then pushed harshly away from the chopper wall, jumping to the tarmac and reaching out to grab Reno from the air.

It all happened in two seconds' time. When it was all over, Reno was settled in the cradle of Zack's arms looking thoroughly shaken both by the sudden fall and the sudden closeness to what had slowly but surely become quite an intense crush. Tseng groaned as Reno's cheeks flushed again, mako-blue eyes meeting the Turk's sky-colored pair. He had the worst luck when it came to Reno.

Sephiroth grinned - actually grinned - as Zack leaned in, and as the SOLDIER cadet claimed Reno's lips, he held his hand out toward Tseng.

The Wutaian man grumbled faintly, reaching into his pocket, and a moment later deposited the twenty gil he now owed the General.

Both recruits were now facing each other, Reno still held comfortably in Zack's arms, and both were blushing. Ah, young love.

"I didn't think you..." Reno stammered, fingers curling around Zack's neck to keep their balance more easily.

"I did." A solid, assured reply came swifly from Zack. "From the moment I saw you." Reno flushed again, and Zack chuckled softly, his arms tightening briefly in an affectionate squeeze.

The Turk considered what Zack had just said. Since he'd seen him? The feeling had been mutual, of course. He'd been floored at the sight of Zack. Looks alone had him drooling, but there was something else about him. Despite being intimidated (and rightfully so!) by facing down Sephiroth, there had been a restrained playfulness about him. A confidence that pushed the SOLDIER into facing the very man that had the whole base shaking in its' collective shoes.

Much like Reno's own daring when it came to those in charge. Except when it came to Sephiroth, at least. He respected his superiors, yeah. But it didn't mean that he'd keep his mouth shut around them. No, Reno respected people by speaking his mind with them.

Which is why that impish mouth opened up and he told Zack exactly how he felt.

"Well, then... I hope you realize just how hard it is to get rid of a Turk once one's got you in their sights," he drawled, lips curving into a warm smirk as Zack set him back on his feet - only to keep his arms wrapped firmly around Reno's waist. The Turk purred lightly, keeping both his arms looped lazily around Zack's neck.

"I'm counting on it," came the reply before lips descended again, luring Reno into another kiss that had his heart racing. Who'd have thought he'd find someone like Zack when he showed up for recruitment?

When the SOLDIER drew away, Reno nodded toward the chopper lightly. "Let's get this thing fixed up quickly. I think I'm looking forward to reinstating our free time more than ever."

Zack's arms reluctantly dropped away from the redhead, nodding and flashing the other a dazzling grin. "Me too."

Two weeks later, the chopper sat with the rest of ShinRa's fleet, working perfectly and ahead of schedule. With a scowl, Tseng passed another twenty gil into Sephiroth's hand, then stalked off to his apartment. At least he could sleep off the sting of Sephiroth winning -another- Reno-and-Zack based bet. And as the too-easily-heard "Zack!!" coming from the room beside his own, he was damned glad he hadn't taken the silver-haired General's bet on just how fast their relationship would intensify.

He grabbed his pillow and flung it over his head, covering his ears only a second too late to hear a wanton moan that distinctly sounded like Sephiroth's now-favored recruit. Fuck it all, it was going to be a LONG night.

[fin]

AN: Heheee, thought you all could use a little fluff. And funny. If you liked, then REVIEW!!!