Amnesia - Part 2

Reno was known for being the best pilot around, but even he wasn't able to make up for the lost time from the delayed departure. It was therefore late in the evening before he was actually dismissed by Tseng and able to get to the soldier's apartment as arranged. The red head's blood was pumping through his veins as he hurried across the compound, his mind racing over Zack's idea and silently praying that it would work. He knew what they had planned was risky, that it could go either way for them, but it was a gamble he was willing to take.

"You're late" Zack snapped as soon as the door was open.

"Sorry" Reno retorted angrily, his own agitated state making him temperamental.

"You were supposed to be here hours ago" the soldier continued in frustration.

"Well ShinRa doesn't do what I want" Reno growled defensively, as he moved past the raven haired man and into the apartment.

"What happened?" Sephiroth asked calmly, before Zack could say something else to antagonise an already delicate situation.

"Some idiot screwed up the flight plans, it delayed us" Reno explained, clearly irritated by the fact.

"Then it was out of your control" the general pointed out evenly, focusing on the solider as he said it.

"I'm sorry" Zack sighed, understanding what he had done. "I'm just worried, you know."

"We are all concerned about this situation, but we must try to control our emotions. It will not help Cloud if we are all fighting."

"Where is he?" Reno asked noting the cadet's absence.

"Sleeping. It's been a rough couple of days for him." Zack explained from the kitchen.

"Does he know you're here?" Reno asked, looking at Sephiroth curiously.

"No. I also arrived while he was resting."

"Well this is going to be a nice surprise" the Turk muttered, only half amused by the situation.

Knowing there was no perfect way to do what was coming next, Zack left the other two to serve up the food while he went to fetch Cloud. The room was dark, but the soldier could clearly make out the cadet's sleeping form on the bed. The blonde seemed so relaxed and peaceful in his current state that Zack began to feel a little guilty about waking him. Taking a deep steadying breath he reached a hand out and grasped Cloud's shoulder giving it a gentle shake.

"Hey Spiky" he called softly. "Time to get up and come eat some dinner."

"Zack?"

"Yea, it's me. Come on, foods getting cold."

He rose to stand properly and waited for the cadet to wake a little more before continuing.

"We have a couple of guests for dinner, I hope that's ok."

Cloud hesitated in his half raised position and looked at the soldier, his blue eyes widening slightly and clearly revealing the apprehension being felt.

"It's ok, there friends of 'ours'." Zack said quickly, making sure to emphasise the 'ours' part to ease Cloud's worry.

"Who?" The blonde whispered nervously, as he continued to rise from the bed.

"Well there's Reno..." Zack paused to observe any reaction to the Turks name, but seeing none continued "... he's an old friend of mine, and now one of yours."

"Oh" Cloud responded as he moved to follow Zack from the room "Who else?"

Zack made sure he was behind Cloud for this one, knowing full well that the blonde would probably panic and try to hide again. They were therefore almost out of the bedroom when he actually answered the question, which happened to coincide with the cadet's eyes falling on Sephiroth sitting patiently at the table. The soldier practically heard the muscles and tendons in the blonde's body snap as he shot into a formal position and saluted the general.

"At ease Cloud" Sephiroth spoke calmly. "We are friends here and formality is not necessary."

"Friends" the cadet gasped, staggering slightly so that Zack had to catch him from behind.

"Ok, take it easy" the soldier soothed, steering the blonde towards the table and depositing him in a chair across from Reno.

"Hey kid, good to see you again" the Turk greeted the trembling cadet cheerfully.

"Hello" Cloud responded hesitantly.

"Good, now that were settled, let's eat" Zack added quickly.

Cloud hesitated as he watched the three men around him began to dine and nervously picked up the fork beside his plate. He didn't remember much about the ShinRa hierarchy but knew enough to understand that Reno was not like Zack or the general, that the man wore a suit as his uniform and that it wasn't because he worked in an office. A title sprang to mind and Cloud rolled it around his head thoughtfully, the word having no meaning other than to indicate that the red head was not part of soldier, but something else called Turk's. But if Reno was a Turk then how had he become friends with Zack, after all Zack had said they were old friends, perhaps they had trained together as cadets. Cloud felt his head begin to ache as the thought began to demand more attention. It was baffling enough to have a soldier and Turk being friends, but to have the general referred to as a friend as well. Well that was just too confusing. Yet they seemed to know each other quite well, their relaxed approach to this event being reflected by the way they interacted so casually. They seemed to be enjoying not only the food but also each other's company and behaving in a way that friend's would in a social situation like this. Then there was the feeling within him, that there was something about this interaction which felt vaguely familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was like one of those pictures where if you look at it one way you can see something, but when you look at it another way it's something else completely different. Cloud was sure that this scene was like one of those pictures, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't work out the second image. Couldn't see what he was missing.

The general, solider and Turk continued their charade, each keeping up the pretence of being merely just good friends. They laughed and joked sharing stories about recent events in their lives, while the whole time they secretly observed the blonde for any signs of recognition. What they saw was a cadet who appeared to steadily grow uncomfortable about the arrangement and becoming more withdrawn into himself, simply pushing the food around his plate in silence.

Zack inwardly screamed as the conversation began to die, as the awkward silence began to take over and looked desperately at Reno for ideas. They had tried throwing in a few subtle past experiences hoping to jog Cloud's memory about times they had shared together, but his reactions had been unclear or nonexistent. It was as if the blonde was only half listening to them now and it seemed that more drastic actions were needed.

"So Zack, what's for dessert?" Reno asked deciding that they had been subtle for long enough.

Zack blinked for a minute and suddenly understood the intense look Reno was giving him.

"I thought ice cream would be good and ... flavoured sauce," the soldier replied carefully.

The comment was left to hang for a moment as each man looked towards the cadet, their breaths held in anticipation. The short pause was rewarded by a small twitch from Cloud, a tightening of the grip on his fork and a flicker of something behind his eyes. A smile grew on each man's face as the blonde finally gave a visible reaction to something they had said and an unspoken agreement passed between them. The subject was clearly something which Cloud could identify with and was worth pursuing further, but first he would need time to fully absorb the comment if he was to understand it. They shared a look which agreed to this fact and therefore left the cadet to his own thoughts as they organised the dessert.

Zack took his time clearing the table and organising the ice cream, dragging out the activity while secretly watching as Cloud chewed on his bottom lip, knowing it meant that the cadet was deep in thought about something. The next part was done rather skilfully in Reno's opinion as he helped to sort out the dessert. He waited as Zack placed bowls of the frozen treat in front of the men and then entered the room and positioned bottles of various sauce flavours on the table, directly in front of the cadet. No one spoke as they all settled down and began to eat again, letting the wide eyed blonde hide his embarrassment from them.

Cloud has no interest in the chilled pudding in front of him, his mind already racing over other things. There was something about the soldier's comment which had been important, something which had flashed up a happy memory in his head, but it had been too quick to see clearly. There was also the flavoured sauce bottles which now sat directly in front of him, the everyday objects not saying a word yet screaming messages at him which he just didn't understand. Then there was that feeling again, the one that hinted at this being more than what it appeared to be. It didn't help that he was also experiencing a strange sensation, one that should not be felt in the company of these men. Heat coursed through Cloud's body as the unmistakable feeling of tightness began to form in his trousers, as his physical discomfort to the situation was now added to by his undeniable arousal. To Cloud's silent horror the feeling suddenly became worse as Reno slowly began to play with each sauce bottle. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks and knew that was now blushing, which in turn only added to his already embarrassed state.

None of the men failed to notice the pink hue which crept up the cadet's face, nor did they miss the way his body had started to shift slightly where he sat.

"You ok Spiky?" Zack asked casually, to which Cloud only nodded a reply.

"Hey would you look at that" Reno exclaimed happily "I drew a flower."

"Excuse me" Cloud suddenly blurted out and left the table before any of them could comment, disappearing down the corridor and into the bathroom.

"Damn it" Zack swore softly as they heard the door slam shut.

"Sorry" Reno mumbled apologetically.

"It's alright "Sephiroth reassured him. "The comment was innocent enough, you couldn't have known how it would affect him."

"It was too soon" the Turk replied scolding himself.

"No" Zack agreed resting his head in his hands "Seph's right. It was a good idea, it just didn't work out so well."

"So what do we do now?"

"I should go and check on him" Zack said, rising from the table.

"I would leave him for a few more minutes" Sephiroth advised calmly.

"Why? What can you hear?"

"Enough to know that the water is very cold and that his colourful vocabulary has not been forgotten."

It took a moment for the information to be absorbed by the Turk and soldier and then both laughed in relief.

"You think he remembers that day or if it's just ... feelings?" Reno enquired thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure, but it's a start." Sephiroth responded, his hopes rising a little.

"So we carry on as planned." Zack asked hesitantly.

"Yea, let's see this through." Reno responded, his confident determination spurring them on.

It was nearly fifteen minutes before Cloud reappeared again, his blonde hair soaking wet and plastered to his head, his clothes dishevelled and damp in places. They watched his desperate attempts to ignore them as he hastily passed by, his sky eyes blue fixed firmly on the floor as he quickly disappeared into the safety of the spare bedroom. Zack didn't hesitate to knock on the door after it was shut and waited barely a minute before entering the room in pursuit of the blonde. He re-emerged a second later physically dragging Cloud back out again, while gently scolding the cadet about having better manors, under the pretence of it being rude to ignore their guests.

Cloud remained silent as he was led through the living room and deposited on one of the small sofas, but the look he gave Zack spoke volumes. The soldier knew that the mixed emotions were a good sign but it also worried him that perhaps they were pushing too hard. He watched as Reno fetched a towel for Cloud's wet hair and cringed as the object was accepted and used as a security blanket to hide behind. As the cadet began using the towel to not only dry his hair, but also to shield himself against them.

There was something eating away at Cloud now, something which nagged at the corners of his mind. He couldn't explain why Reno's flower comment had affected him like that, why the sauces had made his body respond in such an embarrassing way. Cloud couldn't explain any of it, couldn't understand why his body reacted to their presence with both apprehension and joy. There was an odd sensation in his stomach, almost like butterflies, that made him both excited to be with them and also confused. Cloud knew that these were Zack's friends and not his, knew that whatever he was feeling was just his imagination because there was no way it could possibly be really. But that feeling was still there, that underlying current within him which said that this was somehow ... normal. The whole scene began to feel very surreal to the cadet as the strange feeling of familiarity continued to flow through him. That somehow this lack of formality was as natural to them as breathing, even though he was only a cadet and they were so much more.

"Coffee?" Reno asked after a minute, drawing Cloud's attention back to the group.

The cadet looked up in surprise, clearly having been lost within his own thoughts, and Zack's heart fluttered. The blonde's confused look had to be a good sign, especially the way he blushed slightly at having been caught out.

"Coffee?" the Turk repeated, holding up the pot to indicate the liquid within.

"Uumm, no thank you" Cloud mumbled before hiding under his towel again, pretending to still be drying his hair.

The action was a pleasant sight for the men, Cloud's calmer response giving them fresh hope for their plan. It also gave them a chance to share knowing looks without the cadet seeing, silently agreeing to push a little more with the same topic as before.

"So Reno, what you got planned for the weekend?" Zack asked casually, as he sat down beside Cloud on the sofa.

They all noticed the way the blonde flinched slightly and drew away from the soldier, putting some distance between them. Zack's heart skipped a beat, but not in a good way, and he fought the urge to pull the blonde back against him again. Their eyes connected briefly and Sephiroth nodded reassuringly for Reno to continue, knowing what the Turk was going to say, hoping that it would have a positive effect on the cadet.

"I've got the weekend off so thought I'd go and do some sketching."

"Really?" Zack asked playing along "I didn't realise you had taken up art so keenly."

"Yea, well I had a really good teacher, they really 'stimulated' my interest" the Turk replied, emphasising the 'stimulated' part perfectly.

Cloud suddenly became very still beside the soldier, the hand holding the towel no longer moving but fixed in place. In his mind there were images of sauce bottles lying beside him, the smells of the different flavours filling his senses, and the feel of something slick and sticky coating his body. He gasped softly as the sensation of being licked coursed through his body and a snap shot of them all flashed through his mind. The image was once again too fast to see clearly and Cloud chased it in his mind, trying to catch it wanting to see what he was missing, needing to know why his body was suddenly on fire again.

They all watched as the cadet continued to remain hidden, as he curled in on himself a little more, and his breathing increased notably.

"Spiky?" Zack called gently, the concern very clear in his voice.

When Cloud didn't reply Sephiroth moved forward and carefully took hold of the towel, slowly pulling it away from the cadet's tight grip. The blonde gradually came into view, his slightly panicked features becoming clearer and making the men worry more.

"Are you unwell?" the general asked, trying desperately to maintain a small distance so as not to make the situation worse.

Cloud's eyes meet with his for a moment before they drifted past Zack's and connected with Reno's. There was something about the red head which made the blonde stop, something about the way the Turk's eyes glowed surrounded by that fiery coloured hair. Cloud couldn't look away, couldn't stop staring as he tried to work out what had him so focused on the man's appearance. There was something missing, no not missing, but something that had been there once, or had it?

"What's up kid, you're looking at me as if I've sprouted horns" Reno joked nervously.

Cloud's breath hitched and his body jerked as if he had been struck. The cadet's blue eyes widened as images danced in his mind and memories began to surface. Most were still too far away, others still just out of reach, but some were very close and the blonde blushed deeply as he looked upon those images clearly.

Before any of them could ask what was wrong Cloud stood and began to move across the room. His pace was slow and a little unsteady as he made his way towards the bedrooms and they all watched in surprise as he entered Zack's room and not his own. They hesitated before rising and following his departure, pausing in the open doorway as they took in the sight of Cloud sitting on the edge of the bed. A nervous look passed between them as they observed the cadet, whose head was now bowed forward, with a hand pressed firmly against his forehead.

"You ok?" Zack asked gently as he entered the room.

"Yea. I just ... I sort of remembered stuff, but ... it's ... it's not really clear."

"Want to talk about it, it might help."

"It's .. No it's ok" Cloud said shaking his head gently.

"Come on. What can it hurt?" Zack coaxed gently.

Cloud smiled a little and when he looked up at their faces he somehow felt more comfortable, somehow knew that the doubts he was feeling were unnecessary.

"I ... ok, maybe I'm crazy, but ... are we ... uuummmm ... I mean ... us ... are we all ... you know?"

Zack couldn't help but let the smile on his face become a grin which reached from ear to ear. The look in Cloud's eyes was still nervous, but there was also a flicker of recognition in there now and he knew enough to have the confidence to ask. The soldier's smile was infectious and Cloud couldn't help but smile a little more as well, even as the embarrassment of asking such a personal question burned through him.

"Yes we are ... in a relationship" Zack answered the broken question, thankfully containing the rather rude answer which had threatened to come out.

"All ... of us" Cloud asked glancing up at the other two men.

"Yep, sure are kid."

"Indeed."

"Oh. Good. Then I'm not going crazy" Cloud sighed, clearly relieved as well as a little embarrassed by their answers.

"How much do you remember?" Sephiroth asked as he came to sit beside the cadet on the bed.

"Just bits and pieces really."

"Like?" Reno asked, taking a place on the blonde's other side.

"Smells, tastes, distorted pictures of things I should know but can't quite remember. It's like I can sort of see stuff, but not all of its clear. Or what I do see doesn't make sense."

"Like a blurry photograph" Zack added helpfully.

"Yea, I guess."

"So what did you see just now" Reno asked curiously, and smiled when Cloud blushed again.

"You with red horns" the blonde admitted chuckling nervously.

"Do you remember anything to go with the image?" Sephiroth enquired gently.

"No, not really, just ... just feelings."

"Good feelings, right?" Reno joked as the cadet's blush deepened.

"What else?" Zack probed gently.

"You can tell us anything, chances are we were there so it isn't like you can surprise us" Reno added when the blonde hesitated to answer.

"Ok." Cloud agreed before taking a deep breath to steady himself. "I remember certain smells and feeling ... sticky, and ... well ... did we do ... stuff ... with the ... ice cream sources?"

"Yep" Zack answered keeping his face as neutral as he could.

"Oh Gaia. So was that when ... Reno had the ... horns?"

"Nope the horns were a separate thing at Halloween man, after the fancy dress party. You were an angel and I was the devil, you get the picture"

Cloud nodded silently and looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Spiky, you mind if I ask a question?"

"Ok"

"What were you feeling when you ... you know ... had to take a cold shower?"

The cadet coughed and shifted slightly, the recollection of the feelings making his body stir. He wasn't sure how to answer the question, yet his body's responses in front of them seemed to be answer enough.

"Cloud, do you recall what Sergeant Shaw said in the gym a couple of days ago?" Zack continued carefully.

"No, I was sort of ... out of it I guess."

"He suggested that your instincts had maybe triggered the mini flashback you had that day."

"Oh"

"Anyway I was thinking, maybe if we ... um .. you know ... do something ... that's natural and ... well it might help you to remember"

"You want to spar?" Cloud asked clearly confused.

Zack was at a loss for words, his barely coherent sentence having gone horribly wrong. He was therefore grateful when Sephiroth took over the explanation.

"We believe that if you were to spend some time with us in an intimate way it might encourage other memories to surface."

"Oh. I see".

"It's ok if you don't want to, if you're not ready" Reno added quickly.

"I ... I don't mind ... I just ... I don't know what to ... how to ..." he gave up trying to explain and let out the breath he was holding as a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so ... to cause this much trouble."

"You are no trouble Cloud and you have already made more progress in remembering than we could have hoped for. There is no need to rush anything if you are not ready."

"Seph's right. There's no need to do something you're not comfortable with. If you want we can just talk some more, see if that helps."

"I'm ok with ... the idea ... I think, but ... Gaia how do I explain this. I know we've done this before, I can ... feel the memories if that makes sense, but it's still ... confusing and ... well it still sort of feels like ... like ..."

"Your first time" Zack offered gently.

"Yea I guess" Cloud nodded, dipping his head down in embarrassment and smiling softly as he wrung his hands together.

"There is nothing to be feel awkward about, it is perfectly understandable."

"How did we get to be ... like this? How did I ... we ... become an ... us?"

"Your first time was with me" Zack said smiling brightly. "For a while it was just the two of us."

"Then I joined in the picture through Zack" Reno explained happily.

"And then later you brought me into the relationship" Sephiroth informed the blonde, making sure he meet the cadet's eyes as he spoke.

"Me. But I ... there's no way I could have ... I mean ... you're ... and I'm .." His stammering sentence came to an end as he held his head and swayed slightly on the bed. "I think I need to lie down."

"It's ok, we've got you." Zack soothed gently, as his hands came up to hold the cadet' shoulders to steady him.

Sephiroth and Reno quickly moved away from the bed, while Zack gently eased Cloud's body back and slowly adjusted it so that the blonde could lie on the soft mattress more comfortably. They waited patiently as his heart rate calmed and breathing returned to normal again, giving him a few minutes of silence to gather himself before continuing.

"Did I really ... ask you?" the cadet asked nervously looking up at the general.

"You did not so much ask me to join, but made more of an assumption about my participation in your relationship." Sephiroth said settling himself back onto the bed again.

"You straddled Seph's lap when he was here one day, damn near gave me a heart attack" Zack explained laughing softly at the memory and at the way the cadet's eyes now suddenly grew in size.

"Oh Gaia, I'm sorry I ..." Clouds words were cut off as Sephiroth's finger landed squarely on his lips silencing him instantly.

"I have no regrets and I do not wish to hear any from you, is that understood?"

Cloud nodded silently as the finger remained in place.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Reno asked uncertainly.

"I believe a kiss is always a good place to start" Sephiroth offered gently

"May I?" Zack asked softly, focusing his violet eyes on Cloud's glistening blue ones.

"Ok" Cloud breathed, his voice a shaky whisper.

The soldier smiled and leant forward, so that his head now hovered over the cadet's, their faces close enough that some of his hair fell across the blonde's cheeks tickling the surface. Cloud stifled the small giggle which escaped him and smiled nervously at the soldier, the curve of his lips trembling slightly as Zack's face came down and touched them with his own.

The caress of such soft, warm flesh against his own delicate lips made Cloud's body react with a hot rush of blood to his face. He held back the moan which threatened to escape, as the blush across his cheeks darkened to a glorious ruby red. The heat in his veins only intensified as Zack's tongue teased at the seam of his lips, pushing gently at his mouth, seeking permission to take the experience further. Cloud opened his mouth hesitantly, his mind still nervous while his body appeared willing.

Zack knew not to rush the kiss, understood from the cadet's slow acceptance of his request that the blonde was still unsure. He slowly dipped his tongue into Cloud's mouth and gently played it against the cadet's tongue, teasing the warm muscle with small playful licks. He allowed his jaw to move gently, so that their lips could move together, as his tongue began to explore the inside of the blonde's mouth. The gentle motions slowly became more demanding and Zack smiled when he felt Cloud's tongue move against his own. Their passionate kiss ended as the soldier finally managed to draw a small moan of pleasure from the cadet and broke away leaving them both breathless.

At that moment a memory flashed up in Cloud's mind, a brief glance at something from his past, an image that came with a flavour. It held the aroma of something sweet and so familiar, he knew that it was something important, but not just because it would taste nice to eat. The cadet's body became tense as he fought to find a picture to go with the memory, as he struggled to discover why this particular food made his breath catch and his heart beat faster. The word hit him like a slap in the face and he gasped, his body jerking on the bed as the surprise of his discover shocked him.

"Spiky?" Zack asked gently, worried by the cadet's sudden reaction.

"Popcorn" Cloud gasped staring up at them wide eyed.

"What?" Reno asked confused

"I remember popcorn. The smell the taste, it's ... it's so ... Why? Why do I remember popcorn?" he pleaded desperately.

Reno and Sephiroth looked at each other in confusion, the item having no specific meaning to either of them. Zack's mind however was racing. He knew why the cadet held such a fondness for the sweet treat, understood that the blonde's memory was returning, and took delight in the knowledge that Cloud's was remembering such an important event in their lives.

"It's what we were eating the first time we kissed."

"It was?" Cloud breathed moving his head to meet the soldier's eyes.

"Yea, you were here and we were watching TV and ...."

The soldier stopped his explanation and laughed softly at the memory, his recollection of the event making his heart flutter. When he looked up again there were three pairs of eyes looking at him curiously, trying to work out what could be so funny about watching television.

"You were tired after a hard day of training" Zack began, his happiness at the memory shining brightly in his eyes. "We were chilling out on the sofa, watching some nature programme about chocobos. Neither of us could be bothered to cook so we ended up eating popcorn while watching the mother bird feed the little ones. I said you looked like a baby chocobo with your spiky hair and you tackled me." The soldier paused again as a small chuckle escaped his lips and the smile on his face softened at the image in his mind. "I'm not even sure how we ended up with me trying to feed you the popcorn while I had you pinned down. It was definitely worth it though, because the next thing I knew we were kissing and it was one of the best moments in my life."

"One of the best?" Cloud asked softly, his face blushing a little from the explanation.

"Yea," Zack sighed happily, his eyes now revealing how deeply the past experience still affected him.

"What ... what other ... moments?" Cloud stammered hesitantly.

"Meeting you of course" the soldier said smiling brightly. "Then ... well, theirs our first ... date, and the first time we ... uuummm well, you know" the solder confessed blushing slightly.

"Really?"

"Yea, really" he whispered gently, looking down and meeting Cloud's eyes.

"So we didn't ... do it ... after that ... kiss?"

"No. You were pretty shy about it all and I didn't want to scare you off so we took it slow."

Zack stopped and smiled again, his own memories taking him back to those awkward and exciting moments. Their first kisses and gentle caresses, their first hesitant touches which became more confident, the first time they had ... been intimate. Those precious moments in life were suddenly so much like this one, except now there were four of them and they were planning on moving a lot quicker. The realisation of this bothered Zack and he moved back slightly.

"What is wrong?" Sephiroth asked clearly concerned by the soldier's sudden withdrawal from the activity

"I'm sorry ... I can't ... I can't do this" Zack said already pushing himself away from them to stand.

"But ... this was your idea man" Reno suddenly pointed out, his own confusion matching the general's

"I can't ... I ... it's too fast ..."

"You are afraid of hurting Cloud" Sephiroth noted quickly.

Zack didn't need to say anything, the emotions were there on his face, the confusion and fear so plan to see. He looked away as the overwhelming sensations began to choke him, as the thought of rushing the cadet burned a hole in his chest. He turned away from them as his eyes become damp and bit back the tears that wanted to escape. The soldier knew that he had already ruined this moment by his actions and he was not about to make it any worse by breaking down in front of them. It was therefore a surprise when delicate fingers reached up and gently guided his face round to meet glowing blue spheres.

"I'm sorry" he whispered meeting the cadet's eyes and allowing the first tear to run free.

"Why?" Cloud whispered back, afraid that anything louder would upset the soldier more.

"This was supposed to be about you and I've spoilt that. I thought it would be ok ... that doing this would help, but ..." He paused as his voice broke, the tears now falling freely down his face. "Oh Spiky I'm sorry. I don't want to rush you and this is, even if you say it's not, to me it is."

"I remember seeing the stars at night while sitting near mountains" Cloud began, his voice soft and gentle as he looked at the soldier. "I remember the tastes of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and the smell of strawberries on my skin, but it's still vague. It feels like I was there but not there at the same time. I can't explain it, not properly."

"That strawberries were something Reno brought back once" Zack informed him smiling a little.

"And the cookies?"

"The first time you stayed over after ... after we became a couple. We made the cookies together and ate them as soon as they were done. Damn things burnt my mouth."

"I kissed you better" Cloud finished softly.

"Yea" Zack replied, his smile brightening a little.

"What about the stars? I mean you can't really see them here much and there certainly aren't any mountains" Reno asked interrupting the moment.

They all stood for a minute contemplating the question, all searching for a possibly answer as to why Cloud held the memory.

"Perhaps it is something from your home in Nibelheim?" Sephiroth proposed thoughtfully "I believe the region is filled with mountains"

There was another minute of silence as the soldier, Turk and general observed the cadet who had fallen into a trance, his eyes looking distant as he searched within himself for something.

"Tifa" Cloud breathed, the image of the young women springing to mind and making him dizzy again.

"Cloud." Zack gasped, as he grabbed at the cadet who swayed in front of them.

"I'm ok" the blonde managed, holding onto the soldier tightly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine" Cloud said meeting the soldier's fearful expression and wanting to reassure him. "I just remembered ... something else. It's slowly coming back to me Zack, what we're doing here ... it helped to start that, helped me to remember. Please don't be afraid of hurting me, I need this as much as you do, as we all do."

"I don't know if I can Spiky, I just ... I ... it..." Zack stopped his mumbling words and drew a breath to focus himself. "It would feel wrong to make you go all the way, with all of us, especially if it feels new to you. Like your first time again."

Zack hadn't wanted to point this out, hadn't wanted to use the cadet's own admission against him, but he wasn't about to rush something which they hadn't hurried the first time round. He was therefore surprised when Cloud made a request which offered an alternative option, one which he hadn't considered.

"Then why don't we go back to that time, go back to the first time between us. Show me how it happened Zack, help me to remember what it felt like to be held in your arms when you made me ... when we ... shared our first time together."

The soldier considered the words carefully, rolled them around in his head before making a decision about what he would say next.

"The first time wasn't how you're probably imagining it. We didn't rush into the kind of ... intimacy you're thinking of. We took it slow Cloud, real slow, so that you were comfortable with me and with yourself."

"I don't understand."

"The first time I ... had that affect on you we were dressed like we are now."

"But, then how?"

"We were making out and it got a little heated, you were still nervous about touching and so our trousers stayed on, but .."

"but?"

"We ended up pressed quite close together and ... well ... one thing led to another and ..."

"Show me."

"What?" Zack gasped softly in surprise at the sudden certainty in Cloud's voice.

"Show me. You said yourself you don't feel right rushing me and this would be just like our first time."

"Except this time I'm the one who's nervous as hell" the soldier joke softly.

"Yea" Cloud agreed softly.

"Perhaps we should leave you two alone then" Sephiroth said as he began to move from the bed.

"Please don't" Cloud called to him quickly "I know it ... that you're going to feel awkward, but I ... I want you to be here."

"Are you sure" Reno asked cautiously.

"Yes, please, stay."

The Turk and general looked at each other questioningly and after a moment nodded to each other.

"We will remain" Sephiroth agreed as he moved to sit beside Reno on the bed "But we will allow you both to share this moment without our involvement"

"You guys ok with that?" Zack asked feeling guilty now.

"This is about what's best for Cloud" the general replied "Besides I am also curious about this past event."

"Great, so no pressure then." Zack joked, scratching at the back of his head nervously.

"Then focus on me" Cloud breathed, using his hand to guide the soldier's face towards him once more. "Tell me what we did, show me how it happened, help me to remember."

"We were dressed like this" Zack began letting his eyes meet with Cloud's.

"You said that" the cadet breathed back gently.

"We were kissing, not just chaste kisses ... but deep, heavy breathing, toe curling ones." The soldier informed the cadet, his voice dipping slightly to a husky tone.

"Show me" Cloud whispered against his lips.

Zack took Cloud at his word and let his mouth connect with the cadets' in a deep passion filled kiss. He let their lips meet and moaned as the soft skin met with his own, as he licked at the seam once again seeking permission to enter. This time there was no hesitation in Cloud's body as he opened up to Zack, as he allowed the soldier's tongue into his mouth to play against his own. The soldier let himself fall into the taste of Cloud, into the warmth and delight that existed in this moment between them. The kiss became just as he had proposed and Zack felt his body respond with a rush of heat as the cadet moved against him.

Cloud felt the surge of pleasure rush along his spine, felt the way Zack's kisses stirred his body and indeed made his toes curl. He felt Zack's arms tighten around him and pull them up against each other, using the slight height difference to lift him and press their bodies even closer together. A soft moan travelled from deep inside him and Cloud knew that the soldier reacted to the sound. He felt Zack's heart suddenly begin to beat a deeper faster rhythm in his chest, as it was crushed against his own, and became very aware of the hardening length forming in the soldier's trousers. He was just beginning to feel his own body responding in a similar way when Zack broke away from the kiss and moved back leaving him breathless.

"Good right?" Zack asked panting slightly.

"Yea" Cloud gasped softly as he smiled up at the soldier.

"We did a lot of that" Zack said as he ran his hands over Cloud's back affectionately.

"What else did we do?"

"We moved to the bed."

"How?"

"Like this" Zack said already claiming Cloud's lips again.

This time as they drowned in the feel of each other the soldier began to move, gentle edging towards the bed, carefully directing the cadet until they reached the edge of the mattress. Once there he moved the kisses away from Cloud's lips and began to place tender caresses along the cadet's neck, focusing on the places which he knew to be the most sensitive. Zack waited until Cloud moaned again, until the blonde's pleasure could be heard clearly, until he was sure that the next part wouldn't be too much of a shock.

Cloud knew that he couldn't deny the effect Zack's lips were having on his body and thanked Gaia that the raven haired man seemed to know him so well. He could feel the heat pooling in his groin as soft skin danced over an area just below his ear along the slope of his neck and moaned as another shiver of pleasure ran through his body. Cloud had noticed their progression across the room, had felt the edge of the bed as his legs came to rest against it, and now felt the excitement of what was to come rush through him. The mixture of nervous anticipation and hesitant desire was burning within him and Cloud could only imagine that it was something close to what he must have felt back then as well.

Both of them gasped as Zack tried, unsuccessfully, to lower them onto the bed gently. The soldier had been so caught up in the sensation of the cadet against him, and the way his body was suddenly feeling too tight within the confines of his trousers, that he misjudged the distance between them and the beds surface. As a result they both ended up falling onto the mattress and bouncing against each other as the soft springs reacted to the sudden weight landing on them.

"Smooth" Reno commented in amusement from above them.

"Thanks" Zack said, laughing softly as he stole a quick glance at the red head.

"Did that happen the first time as well?" Cloud asked breathlessly.

"Yea, I think it did" the soldier admitted blushing.

"Then what happened?"

"I ran my hand along your leg like this" Zack said, at the same time as completing the manoeuvre described.

"Then what?" Cloud moaned, as Zack's grip tightened around the back of his knee.

"I moved you into a better position." The soldier purred, as he brought the leg up to bend at the hip and take up a new place hooked around his body.

"Oh Gaia" Cloud gasped as the new arrangement pushed their shared arousal together.

"Cloud, you ... ok?" Zack managed as the feel of their bodies so close together pushed him towards a wonderful place.

"I'm ok"

"Good, now ... now try to move with me" Zack moaned gently against Cloud's ear.

Cloud did as Zack asked and moved, pushing his body up against the soldier's, the action rubbing some very intimate body parts together in a mind blowing way. He moaned as the feel of Zack's swollen flesh pushed against his own, as the sensation of being touched in such a needy yet hesitant way filled him with fire. This was how it was for them, he knew that now, and understood why Zack had been so uncertain of pushing him. Cloud moaned as the combined feelings of his body and heart rode him, as his tender flesh craved the soldier's touch, while his heart soared at knowing Zack would never hurt him. The rhythm was increasing, the pace becoming more demanding from both of them and the cadet knew this moment wouldn't last much longer

Zack drew in a deep breath as he continued to move down against Cloud's body, as he braced himself on his elbows and directed his hips forward against the cadet's pelvis. There was so much heat between them, so much desire burning within his veins that it stole his breath. The soldier could feel the blonde's hard length pressed against him with each thrust, their bodies being separated by nothing more than a few thin layers of fabric. The knowledge of what lay beneath him caused the throbbing mass between his legs to pulse demandingly and Zack groaned as the pressure suddenly began to build within him.

"Zack ... I ... it's ..." Cloud stammered as each thrust pushed them together, as each motion became stronger and more forceful.

"It's ok ... just relax ... into it" Zack encouraged through gasping breaths, his body fighting to hold the rhythm as the need for release grew stronger.

"I'm ... it's ... so close" Cloud panted as his body began to move frantically beneath the soldier's.

"I know ... it's ok, just ... just let it happen." The soldier managed, before another wave of pleasure stole his breath and caused his control to slip a little.

Cloud cried out at the first contraction of muscles low down, as his body suddenly tightened in a way which was so wonderfully familiar. His hands now left the tight grip they had on the bed sheets and reached out desperately searching for something or someone to hold onto. The cadet's eyes flew open as his palms connected with the hands of someone else and he tilted his head back to see the general and Turk sitting just above them. He saw the light in their eyes, knew that his pleasure was theirs as well and knew that it was their hands which now held his own. Cloud smiled up at them as the first wave of orgasm rushed through him, as the tightening coil began to snap. He entwined his fingers with theirs and held on tightly as the release took him, as his body convulsed beneath the soldier's and he came crying out Zack's name.

Zack knew he was fighting a losing battle, the feel of Cloud's body moving against his own so demandingly, the grinding motions tearing away at his control. The soldier thanked Gaia for giving him the strength to give Cloud release first, for being able to hold on as the cadet's body climaxed beneath him. He rode the blonde's frantic movements a little longer, as the sound of his name being cried out to the heavens filled his ears. The orgasm ripe through Zack like lightening, the pleasure coursing through his body in a flash of bright light, as he cried out Cloud's name in response to his own release. He felt the material between them grow wet, knowing that it was the evidence of their shared enjoyment of each other's bodies becoming visible. He felt himself breathing heavily, felt the muscles in his arms trembling slightly as they tried to support his weight above the cadet's body without crushing him.

Cloud's release had come as a mixed blessing, the pleasure of his organs being accompanied by the pain of his memories falling back into place once more. Each thrust against the soldier's body gave pleasure beyond words, the sensations of release coursing through his body, as the heat between his legs throbbed and his clothes became damp. But it was the pain which tore through his head that made Cloud grit his teeth together. The skull splitting agony which followed each glorious spasm through his body that made him grip Sephiroth and Reno's hands tighter. He could only hold on while his heart happily drowned in the rush of orgasm and his mind exploded with images of his past, the mixed sensations and emotions crashing against him like waves upon the shore. He rode the waves of pleasure and pain, experiencing both the life which had been and the life he was living here and now. His body shock with the force of the merging sensations, his mind blending the images together and then sorting them out again in a matter of heartbeats. Cloud collapsed back onto the bed gasping for air, his heart beating desperately in his chest, while his head ached from the abuse of so much in such a short space of time

Zack's head was bowed forward as he drew in steadying breaths, but snapped up instantly when he heard Sephiroth's concerned voice calling to Cloud. He immediately saw what had made the general so worried and understood their concern as the cadet's body remained tense against the bed, his breathing still heavy, and his hands still holding tightly onto theirs. The soldier quickly moved, rolling his body off of the cadet's, so that he could take a better position alongside the blonde. No sooner had he done so, then Cloud's body instinctively curled up on its side and his brow furrowed as he gasped in pain. Zack's hands were on the blonde's trembling form in an instant, the soldier desperately trying to give comfort and reassurance through gentle soothing caresses.

"Cloud? Can you hear me?" Zack asked softly, his voice cracking under the pressure of the pain he had caused.

"I'm ok" the cadet gasped, his voice tinted with restrained pain.

"No ... no your not. Please ... talk to me" the soldier begged, his body now shaking terribly.

"Just ... Just ... give me ... a minute" Cloud stammered as his body shifted on the bed.

They gave him the time he had asked for and waited patiently as he gathered himself again, as his breathing returned to normal and his body settled back against the bed.

"Are you alright?" Reno asked gently running a free hand through the cadet's hair while the other continued to hold his hand tightly.

"Yea, I'm ok" Cloud replied softly as he opened his eyes and looked up at them.

Whatever they saw in his blue orbs was enough to convince them of the truth of his words, enough to let them relax and release the breath which they had all been holding.

"Are you sure" Zack asked, needing to be certain

"My head hurts, like before" the cadet admitted hesitantly "But it's ok, honest. I just need a few minutes to rest and I'll be alright" he quickly added to reassure them.

"Ok" Zack agreed nodding, his body slumping forward a little as the tension began to ease away.

"So what do you remember?" Sephiroth asked gently, his thumb now moving to caress the cadet's hand prolonging the hold on it within his own.

"A lot, maybe not everything but still ... it was ... a lot."

"Is that what caused the pain?" Zack asked with concern.

"I think so. The ... what we did felt good ... great even, but the memoires sort of hit me hard."

"And how do you feel now?" Sephiroth asked gently.

"Tired and my head hurt's" Cloud replied honestly.

"Well in that case I believe this has been enough for now. Let's get you sorted out and settled for the night" the general informed them all.

Cloud showered first and was already dry and tucked up amongst the covers when Zack finished and entered the bedroom. Sephiroth and Reno had also changed for the night and were resting comfortably with the cadet curled up between them. Zack could see from the gentle rise and fall of the blonde's chest that he was already asleep so moved towards the bed silently.

"I see you guys found you stuff in the spare room" Zack whispered as he climbed in beside them.

"It was quite efficient of you to organise them like that" Sephiroth agreed smiling brightly.

"Yea, man. I've never had a draw at someone's place before. Guess that means were getting serious" the Turk joked, his playful smile barely concealing the true happiness shining within his eyes.

"Well you guys still need to do your own washing ,no way in hell am I gonna turn into the maid in this relationship."

"I don't know, you'd look quite cute in a little skirt and apron" Reno replied grinning wildly and ducking as an arm swung in his direction.

"Zack! Reno!" Sephiroth warned in a stern whisper, his gaze directing the men towards the cadet who had stirred as a result of their actions.

"Sorry" Zack and Reno both whispered as they moved back to settle against the soft mattress again.

"Are you guys ok ... with what happened tonight?" the soldier asked after a moment, his eyes looking at them both anxiously.

"I am aware of the bond you and Cloud share, that it is perhaps stronger than my own with him, but I feel no resentment towards either of you for it. You were together first and that makes what you have stronger, what he feels for you greater." Sephiroth replied, his voice neutral and relaxed.

"Yea, it's cool. Can't say I didn't want to, but you were right, it was too fast for the little guy" Reno admitted smiling affectionately at Cloud's sleeping form.

"We will have plenty of time to get to know one another again soon enough" Sephiroth observed gently.

"Thanks, for everything" Zack said softly "I don't know what I would have done without you being here."

"I'm sure you would have both been fine" Sephiroth reassured the soldier with a soft smile.

"Yea, it's not like the kid can forget you for long" Reno added lightly. "You're practically a part of each other as it is."

"Really?" Zack asked in surprise.

"Of course. He has developed some habits which are much like your own" Sephiroth pointed out happily.

"Definitely." Reno agreed. "I swear the kids getting more like you every day."

Zack smiled as their words filled him with a strange comfort, as the idea of Cloud being a blonde haired version of himself filled him with a sense of reassurance and joy. It was with theses thought in mind that he settled once more against the bed and closed his eyes to drift away in a peaceful sleep. Reno followed next the strains of his mission and worry catching up with him just as the strains of the past few days had caught up with the soldier. Sephiroth followed close behind, his own concerns floating away as he held them all close.

Soon the room was filled with the sounds of gentle breathing as they slept soundly together, their minds at ease and their bodies entwined as one. No longer did they feel alone as they shared a bed, knowing that this was how it should be, the warmth of the blankets being nothing in comparison to the warmth of their hearts.