Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight no matter how much I wish I did!

-Bella is a vampire and is mucking around with Jasper (just in case you don't get the start)

Alice POV!

"Jasper watch out!" I cried, as I left in between him and Bella. I ended up knocking Bella to the ground before turning to Jasper who was laughing in hysterics, rolling around on the ground.

"Jasper, why are you laughing? Bella just tried to kill you!" I practically scream, pulling up from the ground.

"We were just fooling around!" He said in between laughs "Alice watch out!". I saw Bella lunging at me from behind in a vision so in exactly .50 of a second a stepped a little to the left and Bella landed on Jasper, pinning him to the ground.

"Were's Edward?" Jasper cried from on the ground were Bella had caught him. "ummm….." I thought out loud 'Go play with Edward its no fun when you have newborn strength" He said struggling in vain against Bella's grip. Bella let out a laugh that sounded as sweet as a bell. "No, he's in the study with Carlise trying to find a cure for Renesmays super growth. She grew 30cm last week." Bellas face fell at the last part and a mask of despair wash over her.

I knew that Jasper couldn't bear this new emotion so I started tickling her until she let go of Jasper and he joined in. "No! Stop!" She cried and screamed between laughs." I'll tell Edward!" At this we stopped abruptly and looked at each other. Jaspers face was full of amusement at this new treat. "Then I'll take you and Renesmey shopping everyday for the rest of your existence!" I squealed jumping up with Jasper.

"Go bother Emmet!" She sighed standing up and dusting her muddy cloths off. "Hes with Rosalie", Jasper sighed "let's play with Remesmey!"

"No!" she shrieked "She's sleeping! Fine I'll play with you, I'm bored anyway. What should we do first? Ummm……….. I know well terrorize Mike Newton!" She sang the last part with enthusiasm.

"Perfect!" I exclaimed overseeing the outcome "My vision shows the right effect! So lets go make the cause! Jasper you tell him that Bella wants to talk to him and than I'll stop him on his way to her and tell him she's divorcing Edward for him. Then he'll be so excited! When he reached you Bella you say 'Ohh… Mike how I realise I love you after all of these years! Then dazzle him with your eyes! Ok, when he's really amazed lean down to kiss him and stop! Then you run away! I'll be filming this so we can put it on You-Tube!"

"Alright let's do this thing!" Bella cried "Wait! Don't let Edward now! Think of the Russian Alphabet or something in case he hears! Alice can you help me find the shortest skirt possible?"

When we were all ready we drove to the perk were Alice predicted he would be.

Jasper POV

"Hi Mike, I hear Bellas looking for you!" I said as I sat down on the bench next to him, ignoring the heat his body was pulsing at me. "Why's that?" He asked cautiously, trying to sound calm but I could already feel the curiosity and hope bubbling up inside of him.

"She and Edward had a fight last nigh" I sighed trying to sound sympathetic, but really inside I was about to laugh my head off at hoe gullible this silly boy was.

"She's feeding the ducks; I think she is waiting for you."

I watched as he made his way towards the pond before he was stopped by Alice.

Alice POV

"Mike!!!!!" I screamed when I saw him coming towards me, causing him to reach up and cover his ears. "Bella's divorcing Edward and want you instead!" I shrieked skipping away. As I watched him run down the path towards Bella I reached up and plucked the camera from its hiding place in the tree and continued filming.

Mike POV

Wait Bella I'm coming so we can be together and Cullen can burn in hell! I screamed in my head as I ran towards Bella. I couldn't believe my luck, their was Bella sitting on a bench feeding the ducks just as Jasper has said.

Bella POV

I sat quietly listening to his footsteps until they were behind me. It was an agonizing how long it took him to reach me. Were all humans this slow? I couldn't remember. Instead of pondering on that thought I thought of Edward and how he would react when he saw the film. Would he be mad at us for teasing innocent mortals of pleased to get revenge for what Mikes mind had done to him?

I was pulled away from these thoughts as I noticed to pounding of a nearby heart and a breath coming I short gasps. "Bella" a familiar voice croaked and I looked up to see a very sweaty and red faced Mike Newton. The fire throat burned increased as I took a deep breath and patted the space on the bench next to me. But it would all be worth it too see Mikes face after all of this.

"Umm… Mike, you see" I started of slowly trying to act as humanly as possible "I'm divorcing Edward and this fight has made be see clearly, I-I-I" I stammered, pretending to try and find the write words.

But I was interrupted as I hoped I would be by Mike "I know, Jasper told me! I love you too!" He cried looking into my eyes, I supposed he was trying to look sincere but really I knew this was just about beating Edward and keeping my as his trophy and I would get him good. I slowly leaned into Mike and listened to his heart beat speed up to match that of a humming bird. I slowly parted my lips and just before they touched I slapped him through the face, at first he looked socked and then he reached up and rubbed his cheek and said "What was that for?" as if he really didn't know. Human minds are so slow!

"Do you really think I would divorce Edward, my one true love and leave behind my daughter!??" I practically screamed stalking off, leaving him behind. Sitting their dumbfounded while some girls laughed at him. But now I was truly mad. How could someone be so rude, mean and blind? I would never hurt my family! Just as I reached Jasper and Alice I thanked Jasper for the wave of calm he had sent me. Then we burst out laughing, ignoring the dirty looks some passers-bys were giving us for our noise.

We hopped into the car and drove home.

Edward's POV

Carlisle was rambling on about some close cure for Renesmey we were learning about, but I was no longer listening. My mind was elsewhere. I leaned against the study wall and slumped down to the ground slowly. Sure that if I could cry I would. But instead I just sat their helplessly listening to Mike Newton's thoughts.

Bella was going to divorce me? There must be a mistake Bella would never do that to me or Renesme or the rest of the family for that matter. But as I listened I head Alice and Jasper confirming my worst fears.

How could they not warn me? I felt as if my hear had been ripped out. I fell to the ground with a thud, gasping for air, I thought I would die. I was only vaguely aware of Carlise and Esme's gasps of shock as they noticed me in a crippled heap on the floor.

Then I heard the door slam ad Bellas scent captured me prisoner. She screamed and rushed over to me. Now I know how she felt when I left her. She whispered to Carlisle ad Esme and than Alice before returning to me.

She scooped me up (strange how a girl could do that but she is superhuman and a newborn) and lay me across her lap on the couch. "What's wrong" her beautiful voice asked, full of worry. Every note pierced my heart like a dagger and I doubled over in pain. "You're leaving me?" I asked her, my voice sounding lifeless.

Bellas POV

I walked thought the door and couldn't believe what I saw. Edward was on the floor in complete agony. I placed him on my lap on the couch, gently combing his fingers through his hair. I though for a moment what could be doing this to him "Has Jane or the Volturi been here?" I asked shocked that they would ever do such a thing. "No" Carlisle Said, his voice even and calm, yet filled with worry. "And Renesme's fine, He just keeps saying 'she's leaving'.

That's when the realization hit me like a bullet. I screamed in agony as all of the terrible memories came flooding back from when Edward had left me. And I was thankful when Jasper dulled my pain so I could think again.

I gently pulled Edward up into sitting position. I made him look into my eyes. "Edward I'm not leaving, I would never do that! We were playing a prank on Mike; I'm sooooooooo sorry I scared you!" And with that I pulled him into one of the longest kisses we had ever had, until he was alright again.

Alice POV

When Bella had convinced Edward everything was alright I placed the video into the player. The whole family was in hysterics, they were laughing so hard that Esme had to send everyone outside for the safety of her furniture.

Then Jacob made an appearance "What's so funny?" he asked bewilded, checking he remembered to put pants on when he had transformed back into a human. "I didn't know Bella could fall down the stairs when she was a vampire, I thought she had left her clumsiness behind.

That was the best he could come up with? No wonder why they call dogs dumb! I led him inside and he returned outside a few minutes later laughing so had I could hear his lungs heaving with exhaustion, but he couldn't stop.

I hope you liked it! Please review! This is one of my first stories!