Warning Signs of a Twink

"You should write a book." I said out of the blue one day as I looked over my sketchbook to my partner sitting at the opposite end of the sofa with a book in his lap. I got an intensified version of the Kinney glare from the man and had to hide my grin behind the sketchbook.

"Now what would I possibly write about Sunshine? How wonderful my cock is and how loud it can make you scream? How to be the best damn stud to ever walk Liberty Avenue? Or how about how to kill your twat of a partner without anyone finding out?" Brian suggested sweetly, making me think about kicking him if our legs weren't tangled together.

"I was simply suggesting," I defended myself. "I mean, you read more than anyone I know when you're not fucking anyone. And the other night you refused to fuck me until you finished your chapter!" I started pouting indignantly just thinking about it.

"Ah, so that's what this is all about. You just need a good fuck and then all this nonsense about me writing a book will fly out of that pretty head of yours." Brian had a wicked grin on his face as he crawled over to me.

"I did not say that, all I said was…mmph," I was going to set him straight…er, right, but he had crawled up my body and was currently busy sticking his tongue in my mouth.

I would have pointed out that I wasn't letting this go, but with that damn book finally laying forgotten on the floor and Brian's tongue exploring every piece of sensitive skin on my neck, I figured I might as well get my brain fucked out first.

"So," I huffed out as the two of us lay next to each other on the couch, both sweaty and sticky and panting. "What's the title going to be?" I turned my head to grin evilly at Brian, who groaned and grabbed a pillow to throw in my face.

It was a few days later that Brian came home and dropped a notebook into my lap. I blinked confusedly down at the thing now blocking my history homework. "Bri?" I called towards the bedroom where he was changing out of his suit.

"It's the outline of my book." Brian smirked as he came down the stairs and headed to the kitchen for some water.

I was more or less shocked. Brian actually decided to write a book? This I had to see. I grabbed up the notebook and eagerly flipped it open. The title scrawled across the first page actually made me burst out laughing as Brian joined me on the sofa.

"What's so funny about my title?" he pouted. I wasn't too sure myself, but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing. "Shut up and just read it."

Picking up on the pissed off tone underneath his voice I forced myself to keep my laughter in before he decided to really get pissed. I snuggle up against him and start reading with him looking over my shoulder.

Warning Signs of a Twink:

A very useful guide by Brian A. Kinney

Foreword:

This book is for tops only, so if you're a bottom ass twink who picked this up, don't be like my partner and just Put. The. Book. Down.

-B.A. Kinney

"Asshole." I elbowed him before continuing on.

If you are a top who, by some unfortunate turn of events, has a partner, there are certain things you need to watch out for to assure you survive this spurt of insanity that made you enter this 'partnership'. The most important of these is to make sure your partner is not a twink, as that will lead to nothing but chaos and headaches and, worse come to worse, the dreaded C-word that shall not be named in this book.

"You mean commitment?" I smirked, just to see him shudder.

There are a few key warning signs to look for when determining a twink. First sign is the wardrobe preferred by these creatures. If you think that every queer has a natural inbred sense of good fashion, you have never met a twink. They will often wear ratty old t-shirts, cargos, or, if they are a very twink-like twink, plaid. Stay away from the plaid! If you're really lucky you'll come upon the unusual twink that is dressed in bubble-butt hugging jeans and a very tight t-shirt.

I chose to simply glare at Brian out of the corner of my eye at the plaid comment. That was a one-time thing only, and I really didn't hear any complaints from him that first night when I was wearing plaid. Then again he was high as a kite…

Another sign is being overly emotional. Twinks will get emotional over anything and everything. Beware. Although a little emotion in moderation never hurt anyone, as long as it's not followed by sappiness and false notions of romance.

This time when I looked up at Brian I had a pout to my lips. "Don't give me that Sunshine, you know it's true." Brian slung his arm around my neck before flipping on the tv.

Another sign to look out for is them wanting to 'spend time' with you. Do not be a stupid idiot and fall for it, thinking that their definition of spending time is fucking like rabbits. If they want to 'spend time' with you, it obviously means they want to 'talk over things'. What you want to do is run like hell away, and if you're stupid enough to be sucked in fight like your life depends on it. Chances are it does.

I looked up again to glare at Brian but his eyes were dutifully glued to the television set.

Twinks are notorious for their clinging behavior. They have many words in their strange language to describe it, among which are snuggling, cuddling, and spooning. If you find your partner attempting any of these strange behaviors make sure to keep him at arm's length, though do not be too malicious with it at night, as that will simply end up with you being kicked to the floor by a surprisingly strong pissed off twink.

"That only happened once and you know it was unintentional."

But the biggest trait found in a twink is the inbred need to love and protect their partner. No matter how small or big a problem may be a twink will rush to his partner's aid without hesitation or need for explanation. They are just loyal in this way. They will also pushed even the coldest top towards the cliff relentlessly until they finally take the plunge and admit they're in love. This is the most annoying trait of the twink.

I leaned my head back to rest against Brian's neck. "So onto you Kinney."

If you notice all these traits in your partner, you've got yourself a twink. Once you realize this you will undoubtedly start running for your life until you find that your twink seems to have a gravitational pull and you keep going back to him. A twink is happiest when you finally relent to them and will show their appreciation in the best way possible. When this happens and you come to realize you could never live without your twink, all there's left to do is hold onto your twink and love him with everything you've got.

I closed the notebook and looked up at Brian, who kept his eyes on the screen but was gently caressing my side with his fingertips.

"I love you Bri," I reached up to place a soft kiss on his lips, drawing his eyes away from the tv to look into mine with a smile.

"If I say it back do I get some twink appreciation?"

"Mmhm,"

"I love you too Sunshine."