The Fox, The Badger and the Vampire

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto and company, Rox is mine, but that and a buck will get me a cup of coffee.

AN: Like my other works, graduation is at 16 years old. Don't like it don't care. This is my fanfiction.

Chapter 1

"What the hell are you doing here loser?" Kiba yelled.

Sixteen year old Naruto Uzumaki sighed. Ojii-san you so owe me. He thought. Half an hour more and I'll be able to burn these fucking clothes and be with my teammates.

Ignoring Kiba, Naruto climbed the stairs and took a seat in the back of the room. He didn't spare any of them a glance. Do they really think I took this shit three times? For a village that boats looking underneath the underneath, they fucking suck. The blond thought keeping the glamour up.

Iruka came in and looked around. His eyes landed on Naruto and he nodded, getting a nod back.

The bell sounded and Iruka waited while Sakura and Ino fought over who got to sit next to Sasuke.

"For fucks sake, there's an empty seat on the other side." Naruto muttered.

It must have carried, as Kiba snorted, Shikamaru while his head down was heard chuckling and Choji stopped eating to look across the aisle at him. A low buzz came from Shino and Hinata made an "eep" sound.

The said girls turned and glared at him and the various other students who Naruto didn't give a damn about turned to look at him.

He heard Iruka mutter "Shit, there goes the sound barrier."

The resulting shout from the two females was halted as the door to the classroom opened and two figures wearing solid white masks and cloaks. The taller one had a steel capped bo staff across the back.

"Yes?" Iruka said a sigh of relief that Mount Fan-girl had been derailed before it could erupt.

The taller figure handed Iruka a folded note. He read it and nodded. "If you'll both wait here I'll announced the teams, you can collect him after."

The shorter of the two, nodded and the two took up a position on either side of the door.

"It's been a long road getting from the young innocent minds to the sixteen year old graduates I see before me." Iruka said softly. "Some of you have lived up to the expectations set before you, others…"

"Suck more than Sakura's mom."

Laughter filled the classroom, and said pink haired girl rounded and was going to yell at a certain blond.

"Shut up." Naruto said, his voice holding none of the warmth they'd come to hear him use over the years with Sakura. "My assignment is over, I no longer need to pretend to be the worst student here, nor infatuated with the likes of you."

He looked at Iruka. "My team is here, may we leave? I find myself sickened with the so called graduates."

Iruka smiled. "You know the rules Naruto." He said.

"Damn." The blond thought as he waited.

Iruka announced Team's 1 thru 6.

"Team 7." Iruka said, and even the gathered graduates could tell he was bored with this.

"Sai Ken, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha…"

Sakura's shout and squeal hit several levels that had dogs howling, poor Akamaru felt like someone had a dog whistle in his ear.

"TAKE THAT PIG!"

"Yes, great, whatever." Iruka muttered. "Your sensei is Kakashi Hatake…you might as well get comfortable, he's never on time."

Team 7 looked at him like he was insane. "Team 8 will be Hinata Hyuga, Shino Aburame and Kiba Inuzuka. Your sensei will be Kurenai Yuhi."

He smiled as the three clan heirs kept their responses to themselves, he did notice the look Hinata shot Naruto and pitied the girl. She'll never get him. If she even gets close she'll have her throat ripped out. He thought with a look at the shorter of the two masked figures by the door.

Mentally shaking his mind Iruka continued. "Team 9 is officially still in circulation, and that leaves Team 10."

Ino looked around and even through her "Sasuke-kun" addled mind realized there were only so many students.

"Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akamichi. Your sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi."

Iruka rolled up the scroll he'd read from and started to gather the papers on his desk. "I wish you all the best of luck and if we work together…"

"Hey, what about the dobe?" Sasuke asked. This prompted the fan-girls to sigh and some of them talk about "How caring Sasuke-kun was asking about the dead last."

Iruka looked annoyed. "Kiba is on a team." He said, this got a laugh from many of the other students.

"Not him, the blond idiot." Sasuke said slightly annoyed at not getting the information he wanted.

"Ino's on a team as well." Iruka said with a smirk.

Everyone ignored Ino's whine about the insult.

"I mean…Naruto." Sasuke said, the name being dragged from him under protest.

"Naruto graduated three years ago." Iruka said and everyone looked at him in shock. Naruto sighed and stood. "Can I go now sensei? I really want to get into some proper clothes and burn these…tragedy's."

Iruka gave a wolfish grin. "I don't know. Perhaps we should ask your teammates." Iruka turned. "What say you Team Mystique?"

The shorter cloaked figure moved, the body under the cloak was easily recognizable as female with the killer body and curves. A slender white gloved hand reached up and pulled the mask off and the hood fell away revealing black hair. The blood red eyes seemed to glow and the fangs peeked out from the full red lips.

The young woman's face was as pale as snow.

"I'm finding it hard to look at those things." She said, her voice held a coldness and a melody to it. She looked at the figure next to her. "I say we have a bonfire."

The bigger figure pulled off the mask revealing a young man, his eyes were wrapped with the hitai-ate. Short black hair had a streak of white.

"I'm blind and those things are hideous."

"Thanks Rox. Feel the love." Naruto said to the six foot eight blind ninja.

"And you too as well Elisa."

"We're a team and family Naru-kun." Elisa said. She was standing next to the blind giant one moment, then she was gone and next to Naruto running a gloved finger over his whisker marks. "Drop the glamour and lets get you out of these clothes."

Naruto smiled as he felt her lean into him. Her insinuation getting the males of the class to groan and blow back from nose bleeds.

Iruka chuckled. "Now, now Elisa, what have I told you about sexually assaulting your teammate."

The pale girl didn't even turn around when she answered. "Keep it behind closed doors and put a silencing jutsu on the room because I'm a screamer."

Iruka laughed as the boys in the room were knocked out from blood loss. The man mountain called Rox chuckled. "Keep it up you leech and you'll be on notice for killing the next generation of genin."

Elisa shrugged as she continued to rub Naruto's whisker marks. "No loss. Can we go sensei, all this blood is making me…peckish."

Naruto saw her fangs getting longer and groaned knowing what that meant for him.

"Well…" Iruka seemed to think it over. "Go ahead. Just meet me at the compound in an hour."

Naruto looked at the girl before him. "Better make it two sensei." He said. "I think Elisa-hime is going to need some special time."

Iruka laughed. "Go ahead you two."

Naruto and the girl vanished in a blast of fire. "Rox?"

"Yes sensei?" the blind man said. "You going to join me for lunch?"

"Wait."

Iruka sighed and looked annoyed as he looked at Sasuke. "What?"

"Who the hell was that? What do you mean the dobe graduated three years ago?"

Rox laughed. "This is the rookie of the year? What a travesty." The blind man said.

Iruka nodded. "I'll act as a chuunin instructor one more time and answer your questions Sasuke Uchiha, since you asked so nice." He said mockingly. "Naruto is a prodigy. He and his teammates graduated three years ago and were quickly merged as a formidable three man squad designed for assassination, recon and assault. I as their sensei led them on several missions. When your brother Itachi removed your clan from their attempt to take power by turning against the Hokage…"

"YOU LIE!" Sasuke roared and lunged. Iruka sighed and grabbed the boys wrist and twisted, Sasuke went to his knees, the fan girls screamed as they watched him be put down with a simple wrist lock.

"Stupid genin. I'm an elite Jounin assassin." Iruka said.

Sasuke tried to speak. "B-But you've been a chuunin…"

"I've been undercover this whole time. Weren't you listening…of course not, you have brainlock on trying to kill your brother." The class watched in rapt silence as Iruka looked at the boy on his knees. "Now, as I was saying, once Itachi killed the rest of the Uchiha and was marked a nuke nin, it was decided that you would need watching throughout the academy. Naruto was selected and under a glamour has attended the academy pretending to be the worst student while watching all of you." Iruka sounded disgusted.

He released the wrist lock and stepped back. Sasuke cradled his arm to him and looked up, before he bit out. "And the girl?"

"Elisa?" Iruka chuckled, while Rox outright laughed. "Trust me runt. Stay away from her."

Sasuke snorted. "Why, the loser Naruto try and fight me?"

Rox laughed again. "No. Elisa would kill you herself. There's only one man for her and its Naruto."

"Hn. We'll see about that." Sasuke muttered.

"Your funeral." Rox said with a shrug. "Ready sensei."

Iruka nodded and removed the chuunin vest and tossed it onto the chair. "Let's go."

"Wait. Iruka…"

Iruka paused and looked over his shoulder to Ino. "Oh and the names not Irukua Umino." The class was shocked as the features of Iruka melted away leaving a woman with red hair and green eyes and wearing a black form fitting body suit that showed a well endowed figure. "My name is Mirage." She turned to leave with the man mountain who despite being blindfolded seemed to know exactly where he was walking.

Mirage turned once more. "Oh, and class remember to be back by one to meet you Jounin instructors. Ta-ta." Mirage said and closed the door behind her.

The graduating Genin class were in shock.

AN: And thus ends chapter one.

Yes, another new story. (Busy mind.) please enjoy the insanity and I will do my best to keep doing as I am.