The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 35

Eighteen months later…

Forks was just as cold and rainy as I had remembered, but it no longer bothered me. I was used to the snow now anyway. A little rain didn't matter. We drove through the dark forest road in silence. James knew this was difficult for me.

It had been easier to move on while living in Alaska with the Cullen's. After James and I burned Edward's body and his head separately- of course- we had packed what we could and left that night, all of us.

In the surreal life of Alaska with a new routine and being close to the people I cared about, my past in Forks seemed far away. It was easier to imagine that Charlie was still here, going on with business as usual, then to face the reality of his death. There were the moments where I would be overcome with grief, unable to move or talk, but James was always there to pull me back.

No one ever talked about Edward any more. It was an unspoken rule in our family. That was what we are now, a family. James and Emmett had bonded even closer, in fact everyone had grown to accept James, only Carlisle had kept his distance. I don't think he will ever really get over the loss of his first son… but hopefully with time the pain will dull. Until then he was polite and respectful to James, but didn't treat him with the same fatherly love he gave to everyone else. It didn't bother James any though, he told me he already had a father and he was dead, then immediately tried to pull his foot out of his mouth when he saw the pain in my eyes. My father was dead too, but I still loved Carlisle.

We spent the past year and a half alone, the eight of us living together in a small crop of houses. We kept far away from human eyes, only venturing into town when we really needed to. Except for me, the draw from human blood was still too strong. James promised he wouldn't let me do anything I would regret. I was just more comfortable not taking the chance.

When I finally felt like I would be strong enough, he agreed to bring me back here to say goodbye. It was something I needed to do, to really move on. I knew Rene must be heart broken, but she was alive and had Phil to comfort her, so I would leave her in peace. I only needed to let go of Forks and everything that had happened there, it was like a ghost haunting me wherever I went.

James pulled the car into the dark driveway of my old house. No one had the nerve to sell it. It was easy to break in through the back door, and James let me have my privacy as I made my way through the empty house. The kitchen looked smaller then I remembered, even without the wooden table and mismatched chairs, the yellow cabinets seemed duller.

I made my way through the living room, trying to imagine the sound of the TV and its constant stream of sports commentary, avoiding the last place I had seen Charlie. The stairs shifted as I silently made my way up, trailing my hand along the rough wood on the wall. The door to my room stood open and pale moonlight was streaming through, making my room glow blue like ice.

The old yellowed curtains still hung in the window and there was a small box in the corner, but someone had taken out everything else. I sat down on the floor and emptied the contents of the box. Two of my old books, Jane Austen and Shakespeare, the keys to my old truck, all of my school pictures that had been above the fireplace and Charlie's police shield.

I buried my face in my hands and wished for the millionth time to be able to cry. It was useless. There were no tears, only the hollow feeling in my heart that opened on occasions like this. I would never again have the release of crying. I looked again and saw something soft sat at the bottom of the box. When I pulled it out I didn't know what to feel. It was one of Edward's shirts.

I had spent months contemplating what had really happened between Edward and I and my conclusion was that I had loved him at one time. There had been something real between us. I couldn't make myself believe that we had never been in love, despite what Edward wanted me to think. I held the shirt up and breathed in its scent, it was still sweet like the flowers that bloomed in his meadow.

I placed everything back in the box except for Charlie's shield and took one last look at my old room. This wasn't my home anymore it was just a place in my memories now. I left the house feeling lighter and sadder all at the same time. There was only one more stop to make before we could go home.

The cemetery was small and gated, but no one was around to see us jump over the high fence like we were flying. In the far east corner the plots looked fresher and more manicured then the rest of the cemetery, so that's where I started. It didn't take long before I came upon a small square plaque in the ground that read Angela Weber, beloved daughter, sister and friend. I placed a single pink rose next to it and whispered an apology into the still night air. I knew she was gone, but I hope she could hear it from wherever she was.

James was waiting a few feet away at a larger headstone, this one jutting a foot into the air and had a large shield engraved on it. Charlie Swan. I crouched down to put my cheek against to cool stone.

"Dad… I'm so sorry. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." I thought of all the times I could have told him I loved him but didn't. I had inherited my inability to voice my feelings from Charlie, and now I wished I could have fought it just once.

"I love you Charlie." I mouthed the words against the smooth headstone. A strong warm hand touched my shoulder and I suddenly felt ok. I knew Charlie was in a good place, no matter where it was and he would want me to be happy.

The warmth from James still felt funny to me, but it had been there ever since that night in the forest when he saved me. Jasper told me it was love, not heat, but it didn't make any difference to me. I enjoyed it either way. I leaned into him and was about ready to leave when a splash of color in the moonlight caught my attention.

Fresh white flowers lay at the base of the stone next to Charlie's and the letters caught my attention. Bella Swan, it seemed so wrong to me that even the words looked misspelled. It hadn't occurred to me that even though the official story was that I had died somewhere off in the forest- that they would still bury me without a body. I felt a dark irony for standing at my own gravesite, than wondered half interestedly at who had bothered to bring flowers.

"Let's go home." James kissed my neck and all other thoughts disappeared into the night. It didn't matter, not anymore.

I said goodbye to Charlie one last time and left with James to start my eternity.

Thank you so much to everyone who kept up with my story =) I really appreciate all the feedback! I am actually sad to end it... lol. Please let me know how you liked it all together. You guys rock!! -Laura