Fight For Us

Chapter 1: The Storm

By: I Love Lukey

This scene starts later that evening, in "Partings"; then it picks up at the end of "The Long Morrow." Lorelai begged Luke to run away and marry her. He didn't answer her immediately. So, in typical Lorelai fashion, she overreacted. In the series she slept with Christopher, ensuring that she and Luke would break up. In this version, she spends some time with Chris, but leaves the door open to fight for their relationship. And fight they do, instead of just giving up and walking away. They have some serious issues to work out.

Italicized words at the beginning are text from the series.

~*~*~

Christopher heard a knock at his door and appeared surprised to see Lorelai standing there when he opened it.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she echoed him, almost crying.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Uh, I'm having a really bad night, and, um... I just don't want to be alone. Okay?"

"Yeah. Uh, come on in. What's going on?" he asked, noticing her red-rimmed eyes.

"I just need a drink and a friend, preferably the former. And keep 'em coming," she deplored.

"What happened?" he asked again. "Is Rory alright?"

"She's fine, it's Luke. Yeah, go ahead and say it. You told me so. We were only together for now." She sniffled.

"Lor, I'm sorry. I didn't really want that to happen," he said sincerely.

"No, Chris. This time it isn't your fault. It isn't Emily's fault. It isn't any one else's fault. I managed to mess it up all on my own," she cried.

"Oh, I doubt that." He turned, inspecting his bar. "First thing's first. What will it be? Scotch, vodka, gin, tequila?"

"Oy, with the tequila already!" she managed to retort.

"Ok, no tequila." They both remembered the last time they drank tequila. "So, gin martini, two olives, it is."

"You always know me so well, Chris," she said, looking at his face for the first time that night.

"Come on, tell me all about it."

Lorelai took the drink and took a seat on the sleek, black leather couch. She recounted the entire story about the ultimatum, and Luke allowing her to walk out of his life.

Chris sat quietly the entire time, listening to not only what she said, but also to how she said it. They downed a couple of drinks, then Chris finally spoke.

"So you really love him, don't you?"

"Yes, I really do," she answered. "I just drove him out of my life, like I drove all the men out, including you," she sniffed again.

"Well, I never accused him of being smart. But allowing you to walk away like that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of," Chris chided. "If you ever came to me…"

"It's not his fault," she protested.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I don't have a right to criticize anyone's choices. Look at what a state my life is in. Gigi's mother is in Paris, and I'm home playing Mr. Mom."

They continued to drink and lament over their failed relationships for several hours. "I guess I should go now." She stumbled to her feet, and quickly fell back on the couch. "But, apparently, I'm wasted," she sighed, laughing softly.

"You can't drive home, and I'm no condition to drive you myself. So stay here tonight. I'll take the couch," he offered.

"No, I can't kick you out of your bed, that isn't right," she protested, as she pulled him by the arm into the bedroom. She really needed some human contact. She couldn't bear to be alone, and Chris always loved her.

They collapsed on the bed together, and scooted close. "I just felt my life with Luke spiraling out of control. I didn't know what to do. He was freezing me out. He wouldn't talk to me, and he wouldn't let me near his daughter, let alone be part of her life. I should have been there, right next to him, and he needed me there. He needed me, but he didn't want me. That's the worst part of all."

She sobbed softly as Christopher held her close. They were both on their sides, with Chris curved behind her back. He had one arm wrapped protectively around her waist; their fingers interlocked above the pillow they shared. They fell comfortably asleep, fully clothed, on top of the comforter.

~*~*~

Luke showed up at Lorelai's house, first thing in the morning. He'd been tossing and turning all night, kicking himself in the ass for being such a jerk.

Why did he have to mull everything over? Jeez, he took eight full years just to kiss Lorelai. But he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that his life was with her, now and forever. If that meant he had to be more spontaneous, well then, Spontaneous was his middle name. His bags were packed; he had a tank full of gas, and a Thomas Guide in his truck. They'd go away, anywhere she wanted. He'd marry her today. He pulled up to Lorelai's house, trying to imagine where their first kiss as husband and wife would be. His eager smile faded as he noticed her Jeep was missing.

"What the…where the heck is she?" he muttered.

He parked in the driveway and got out, then cleared all the steps to the porch in one bound. He peered into the door windows. Just as he turned to head down the stairs, a familiar sleek Mercedes pulled up behind his truck. He stopped in his tracks to see shadows in the vehicle lean toward, then linger near, each other. Luke's stomach felt like it had been kicked by a steel-toed boot. He sucked in his breath. If it had been possible, his eyes would have seared a hole through the tinted window, right through Christopher's skull.

At the sight of Luke's truck, she immediately felt panic rising. Lorelai exited the car and quickly walked around. The jolt of adrenaline hit her system and she knew there would be big trouble if she didn't stop it before it started. Running up the walk to meet him at the stairs, she said, "Hi Luke, um hey, listen, Chris was just giving me a ride home. Stupid, weak battery in my Jeep," she tried to explain.

She could see him taking in the situation. Her hair was wild; she had no make-up on, except for remnants of mascara under her eyes. Her clothes were the same ones that she had been wearing the night before, with the addition of Chris's expensive sports coat, draped casually over her shoulders.

"Luke, wait." She tried to stop him as he brushed passed her, steamrollering toward the coupe.

Luke rapped on the driver's side window with the back of his knuckles, saying, "Hey buddy, what's going on?"

Christopher rolled down his window, "Morning!" he said, annoyingly cheerful.

Lorelai stayed back near the steps, holding her breath. She watched worriedly as Luke leaned over to face Chris, but she couldn't hear what was being said.

"What the hell Chris?" Luke said. "Why are you anywhere near my fiancée?"

Chris got out of his car, and leaned casually on the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. He lowered his voice. "I'm waiting for you to screw it up." He smirked, as he watched Luke balling up his fists, breathing so hard that he nearly snorted at him. "You want to hit me, don't you?" Chris egged him on. "Go ahead. I did all the comforting last night, if you know what I mean," he said, raising his eyebrows. "So, I guess it's my turn to receive a little TLC."

Luke glanced over to Lorelai, who was watching from the safety of the porch. He feared that if he moved, he would kill this chump.

Chris noticed Luke's white knuckles, and feeling foolishly brave, he continued. "You hit me, and Lorelai's maternal instinct kicks in. Me being Rory's father, and all. Oh, it'll hurt; you'll probably beat me to a bloody pulp. But, I'll be invited in for some frozen peas and sympathy, and you'll be out on your ass."

Luke's concern was still focused on Lorelai. He didn't want her to see him lose complete control. If he nibbled the bait, and struck this pansy, she would hate him. As much as Luke wanted to pummel the jerk, he had a point, he was, and always would be, Rory's father.

"You know, I had forgotten how good her hair smells," Chris started again, knowing that he had struck a chord. "Did you notice that it smells like jasmine? I always loved her shampoo." He looked up, seeming to reminisce about it. "I bet my pillow still smells like her."

Luke was fixed in place. His eyes locked on Christopher's. His entire world seemed to freeze in that moment. His chest was pounding. His limbs felt like lead. He couldn't breathe, and he didn't blink.

After a long uncomfortable stare, and not getting a fraction of the reaction he expected, Chris spoke quietly but steadily, laying out his plan. "I tell you what. You be you, and I'll be me. She'll be back where she belongs when she's done slumming. I can wait."

A stunned Luke took a couple of steps backward. He removed and replaced his cap. Christopher called to Lorelai, "Bye, Lor! My guys will take care of the Jeep. I'll call you later." He swung into his car, then silently backed out of the driveway, and drove away.

Christopher's recap of his night with Lorelai cut right through to all of Luke's deepest insecurities. Luke wasn't a blueblood like Lorelai. He'd never fit into her world. As much as he loved her, and he knew she loved him, their backgrounds were worlds apart. Although she rejected the lifestyle of high society, she at least knew the world of cotillions and trust funds. She knew the code language of the country club rich. She could blend in seamlessly and hob-knob with the DAR ladies. Usually, Luke stood idly by, feeling like an ill-dressed peon. Luke believed that Christopher was right about the slumming. He often felt like he should be entering through the servants' door when he went to the Gilmores' manor, and he knew Emily would have preferred it that way.

After several silent seconds staring at his hands, Luke turned to look at Lorelai. She expected to see anger in his eyes. Instead, she saw something much worse. His face had dropped. His shoulders sagged, as his eyebrows came up together to form an inverted vee. He looked at her up and down, to once again assess the situation. This time his eyes stopped at her ring finger. It was bare. He felt his relationship vaporize in front of his eyes. His life and his future, with the woman he loved, were gone. She wasn't his slightly goofy, chatterbox Lorelai any longer. She was Lorelai Gilmore, daughter of Richard and Emily Gilmore, heir to an estate that he knew nothing about managing or protecting, citizen to a world he didn't belong.

He turned heel and headed back to the truck.

"Luke! Wait!" she shouted, following him.

He stopped, chin near his chest. "Lorelai, not now," he breathed.

"But, Luke! I swear, it's not what you think," she cried.

"Lorelai, please, not now," he commanded, as he turned to face her. When their eyes met, he blinked, causing two large, salty tears to roll down his cheeks. Not hiding the tears, he stood a little straighter and jutted out his chin.

Lorelai was stunned. Luke was crying! Her strong and unflappable Luke was crying. Lorelai didn't know what to do. For the first time in a long time she was speechless. It broke her heart to see him like this. She knew she shouldn't have gone to the familiar comfort of Christopher. She knew how jealous Luke could get. But, she truly had no idea how much Luke despised Christopher. Nor did she know how much this shook Luke to the core, at least not until a moment ago, when she saw the devastation in his eyes.

"I trusted you and you do this! With him!" Luke spat out. All traces of sadness now replaced with precariously controlled fury.

Lorelai instinctively recoiled, "Okay, I guess I deserved that, but you don't know what happened. Just hear me out."

Wiping his eyes with the rolled cuff of his flannel shirt, he took two swift steps toward her. "I trusted you. You lied to me before, now I catch you with him. And you want to talk about it?" he spat, punctuating each line with a point of his finger.

"Listen Luke, I'm sorry. I know this looks bad. But you've been pushing me away, too. Pushing me away for months. I didn't know where to go or who to turn to," she cried.

"So you turn to him? You seek out his comfort? I knew you'd never be able to stay out of his life, but I never thought you'd have trouble staying out of his bed!" he yelled. His words were so harsh, each one landed like a blade through her heart. But, she knew he was right. She had to explain.

"I'm trying to tell you something, and all you want to believe is the worst. After all we've been through, and all the feelings we have for each other, you still want to believe the worst in me?" she screamed back, wanting her words to hurt him as much as his hurt her.

"I believe what I see, Lorelai," he said. "I see you with him, here in the morning. You, looking like something the cat dragged in, with yesterday's clothes on. You're in his jacket, smelling like him." His voice raised a few decibels before he was able to control it again. "Are you denying that you slept with him?" he asked, looking her straight in the eye.

She lowered her head, unable to meet his gaze. She vowed never to lie to Luke again, especially when it came to Chris. Luke could always see right through her. She didn't want to lose him again by hiding information, like she did last time. She wasn't' going to start lying now. She opened her mouth, wondering how in the world she'd explain this, but nothing came out.

"Tell me Lorelai, where's the ring?" he asked, gesturing with a nod of his head toward her hand.

"What?" She thought, then looked down at her finger. "I was upset, yesterday when you refused to answer me. I was so hurt… and confused… that you let me walk away. I…I took it off."

"So, let's see." He counted off on his fingers, one for each point made. "You hit me with an ultimatum. I don't jump though your hoop fast enough. So, you take off your engagement ring. Our ring. The one that symbolizes our everlasting love. Then, you go to the father of your child's house, who by the way, has broken us up before. And you spend the night with him?" His eyes pierced through hers.

"Yeah, I guess you'd see it that way," she sighed, defeated.

"Is there any other way to see it?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Luke, please come inside. Let's talk about this. Let's sit down and talk about this, please," she begged.

"I just don't see the point. I give up. This is…I can't do this. I can't live with all this drama," he conceded.

"No, don't do this. You cannot give up on us. Please come inside." She held the door open, pleading with her eyes. He took a deep breath, then took one step back.

"Luke! You do this every time! Something gets difficult and you turn into an armadillo, balled up and hiding inside your armor. You don't even have the guts to come in and hear what happened. You don't even have the courage to find out! I always thought you were the mature one, you were the adult and I was the flighty one. Now I can see you're not who I thought. I thought you loved me, but all you can do is hide. Then go on; crawl back into your shell. You aren't a man at all. A real man would fight for the one he loves. Fight for us.

Her angry words snapped him back into fighting mode, and his entire body flexed. Veins in his neck were bulging, and his face was turning red, "What the hell are you talking about? I would die for you. I would die for Rory. I have embraced all of you, and your craziness, into my world." He gestured as if his arms were wrapped around a large tree. "I would sell my soul to Satan if it meant keeping you two from hurting." He stopped to catch his breath. Then spoke more slowly, "You make it impossible with your hysterics. Slinging out ultimatums and deadlines. Give a man a minute to think, won't you? You're yammering away all the time. I can't get a word in edgewise, let alone a coherent thought."

Through his rant, he noticed Lorelai's focus was elsewhere. He followed her gaze and saw Babette and Miss Patty across the street, heads together, listening intently to the argument.

"Please, come inside," she asked again.

He stepped into her living room and looked around sadly. He thought about how he was going to miss her and her warm home.

"Luke, I believe what you said about protecting me and Rory. I know you love us, and I know she adores you. But that's part of it," she said.

"Part of what?"

"I let you in. I let you near her," she explained. "I allowed you into our lives."

"How is that a problem?"

"Chris isn't even as close to Rory as you are. I never let him in like I've let you in. He never even really wanted to be that involved," she tried to explain.

His spine stiffened at her ex's name. "I still don't get how my being in Rory's life is the problem," he reiterated.

"You won't let me in," she repeated.

"What?" He scratched his whiskers, clearly confused.

"With April. The most amazing thing has happened to you and you won't allow me to be in your daughter's life? Don't you see how hurtful that is for me? Don't you see how that breaks my heart?"

"But I'm barely in her life as it is. I don't know how it works. I was locked out for twelve years. Now I find myself with a whole new definition. I am a father. I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid that Anna is going to take her away from me again, before I even get to know her."

"But Luke, I'm here too. I need you, too. We should be doing this together. Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can't we both be in your heart? Don't you have room for both of us?"

"I don't know," he said softly, shaking his head.

"You don't know?" she asked. "You don't know. What the hell kind of answer is that?"

"I don't know if I have room in my heart for someone I don't trust." His voice was low and steady. He looked her directly in the eyes. "I know I don't have room in my heart for someone who runs off to fuck her ex because she doesn't get her way."

She reeled back her hand and slapped him hard across the face. A loud smack was audible as his head snapped away from the blow. There was a red imprint on the left side of his face.

His insinuation wasn't just aimed at the situation; it struck at the issue of their social differences. He was implying that she was a spoiled rich girl who was having a tantrum because Daddy wouldn't buy her a dolly. She felt so betrayed by him. He knew how hard she worked at making her way alone in this world, and at carving out a niche for Rory and herself. He knew how she rejected all the privileges that suffocated her as a child. She never once felt superior to him, and now he was throwing her background in her face. Did he refuse to run away with her yesterday because he just didn't want her to have her way? Was she wrong all these years about him understanding who she truly was, and what mattered most to her?

He turned back to look at her again, not touching his face, or wavering in the slightest, and warned her with a low throaty growl, "Don't you ever do that again."

Taking it as a challenge, she pulled her arm back and swung again. This time he was ready. He easily caught her hand and grasped it. She swung again with her left hand and he snatched it too. Struggling and crying, "Because I didn't get my way? You reduce this to me not getting my way? I hate you! You son of a bitch!" He allowed her to twist and pull for several moments before he clamped on to each of her wrists, gripping with iron talons. She didn't have the strength to budge them. She feebly attempted to free her now numbing hands. They locked eyes; he was not letting go.

Exhausted emotionally and physically, with tears streaming down her face, she was no match for his strength. Her knees buckled and she collapsed where they stood. Sobbing as she fell, he held tightly onto her wrists to control the velocity of her drop. He went down with her and landed on one knee; they both hit the carpeted floor simultaneously.

He knew he'd gone too far. It wasn't like him to use such harsh words with her. But the thoughts of Christopher touching Lorelai kept creeping in. He wanted to push those horrible pictures out of his mind. Badgering her into slapping him actually felt better that the emotional pain he was suffering. His mind kept bringing up images of Lorelai and Christopher, that bastard's hands on her, laughing, and kissing her. Their tongues touching. The thought of Lorelai calling out Christopher's name, instead of his own, was too much; he couldn't take it.

This time it wasn't blind fury he felt, but utter despair. He could never get over this. He knew himself. They could make up now, but he'd never, ever be able to get over this infidelity. Luke Danes was a lot of things, but unfaithful was not one of them. It was better just to go now, than to pretend to live with a circumstance that he knew he was absolutely incapable of accepting.

He looked at Lorelai now, sobbing quietly on the floor, wondering where he was going to find the super-human strength he needed to walk out that door.

"I'm going to let go now," he stated, not really needing to warn her.

She nodded; she didn't have any fight left in her. Rubbing her wrist as she sniffed. She sat down on the floor, legs crossed in front of her.

"I just wanted to be with you, Luke. To love you and have you love me back," she sobbed. "I would have settled to be just a part of your life. But you wouldn't let me. You are everything to me."

"Then why would you do this to us?" he asked. "I can't get over this. You know that. You know I don't have it in me to see past this betrayal," he whispered, sitting down next to her.

"That's just it, Luke. You won't listen to me. I've been trying to tell you. I did so many things wrong last night. I should never have given you an ultimatum. I should never have gone to Christopher's house. I know that. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I will never, ever go to Christopher again … for consolation." Luke clenched his teeth at the last phrase. "We can do this; we can work it out."

"You don't have to promise me anything, Lorelai," he spoke in a barely audible whisper, his eyes closed. "There is no 'us' anymore, there is no 'we.'"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you giving up on us?" she asked, eyes brimming with tears again.

"I can't live with pictures of Chris's hands on you, fingers running through your hair, kissing you, making lo…" He choked, then pressed his face into his hands.

"Luke, I didn't do anything. We didn't do anything. I swear. Yes, I was there; I spent the night because we got drunk, too drunk to drive. You were right about the bed. I will totally own up to that, I can't lie to you." He sucked in some air and sat up, working his jaw as she continued. "But we did not make love. We didn't even kiss. We fell asleep together, that's all. I swear. I was crying over you the whole time, so scared that I had lost you forever. We were together, because I couldn't bear to be alone, but we weren't together.

"So you're saying?" He led her to continue.

"We didn't have sex. At all. No sex was had," she stated clearly.

"But Christopher said…"

"Christopher? What did he say?" she snapped. "He's just getting back at you for hurting me. He doesn't know how to act around you. He really was trying to protect me, in his weird way." She tried to explain. "You intimidate him. You're everything he's not. He's been living off his trust fund, in the shadow of his father, all his life. He's been enjoying the perks of wealth and privilege that he never earned. And, up until now, being a father to Gigi, he never did one thing that mattered. You are your own man, your own boss. You made it on your own, and you answer to nobody. That just kills him."

Luke sat up a little straighter. "So, there was no…?" He held both palms open, not able to say the words.

"Luke, I would never do that to us," she continued. "I was hurt and angry and felt isolated. I was wrong, but I'm not that self-destructive. I would never hurt you that way. But there are some things, things that you have done," she hesitated. "You may not know how much you hurt me these past few months."

"What? Tell me. Whatever it is, I'll fix it." He was feeling better now, a glimmer of hope for their relationship returning to his heart.

"You postponed our wedding," she whispered, voice cracking.

"But you said you were okay with that," he replied. Then he looked at her trembling lips. "Oh, no. How can you be okay with that? You're the bride. I should have realized. You bought the perfect dress, and everything."

"No, I need to own some of this, too. I let you believe that it was all right and I pretended to be cool with it. That's not the way to start a marriage," she sniffed.

He tenderly brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "Come here," he said, pulling her into his strong arms. They both took a few deep, relaxing breaths and leaned into each other, already beginning to feel their relationship healing.

Biting her lip to keep it from quivering, she said, "You needed me but you didn't want me, you didn't want my help. You froze me out, and that was the worst, " she breathed, blinking back the tears.

"I didn't handle the news of fatherhood very well. Sometimes it takes me a while to process information." He ran his finger along her jaw line to calm her lip.

"Lorelai, I never told you this, but I've wished about a hundred times that Rory was my daughter. Ever since I laid eyes on that porcelain doll of yours, she was so smart, with your blue eyes, she had me wrapped around her finger. It broke my heart to think that she was going home, and she didn't have a daddy there. A little girl should have a daddy to protect her, and to search the closet for monsters. To warn her about boys."

"Now, I keep thinking of all the time I could have had with April, and how I should have been allowed to love April like that. I am the daddy, and I wasn't there. I can't get the time back, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose what little time I do have left to watch her grow. I know I can be a great father. I just have so much to make up, and I don't' know where to start." He held her hands in his. "I'm sorry. I did need you. I do need you, especially with the way Anna is acting. I don't know what to do about her. We can't live with her dangling custody over our heads like a sword."

They sank down on the soft carpet, embracing and thinking silently for several minutes. Luke was on his back and Lorelai on her side, with her head on his shoulder, listening to the familiar, comforting sound of his heart.

"Do you have any suggestions on what to do?" he asked, taking the first step toward letting her help him.

"Maybe we can get a lawyer," she suggested. "You have rights, and she's trampling all over them."

"Yeah, we can do that," he said.

"So, we're a 'we'?" she asked tentatively.

He kissed her softly on the temple, and pulled her closer, "We're a 'we.'"

~*~*~

To be continued.