The Nasty Voice

I do not own Criminal minds.

'Lost time is never found again '~John Hill Aughey

XXXX

Reid lay on his back in his darkened bed room staring at the ceiling. He was thinking about Dilaudid again. He told himself he was only testing his resolve when he imagined the drug easing through his veins. It was a sweet warmth that embraced every inch of his body from the inside out. He loved that first almost orgasmic rush he felt when he hadn't used in a long time. That's when it was the best, when he denied himself and then finally succumbed. How he missed that feeling.

Spencer had been sober for a long time. He was sorely tempted when he thought Emily had died, and again when she went away to London.

He shot up for six months when he lost Maeve, then quit, but nobody noticed. His odd behavior was probably attributed to grief.

Now here he was again, another loss. Gideon was dead and he wanted the pain to go away.

Then he heard it. It gave him a start since he hadn't heard voices since Emily left. But here it was, as real and crystal clear as his own.

"You're not sad because he's dead you know," it said.

Reid cleared his throat. "How would you know?" he said. He was not afraid, for the voice had been in his life a long time.

"Because featherbrain, I was there. You're not sad because he's dead" it repeated.

"Why do you say that?" Reid asked wearily. He was not in a mood to debate tonight.

The voice chuckled in such a way that this time Reid noticed the difference in its tone. He sat up straight in his bed.

"Go away" he ordered. He had a gut feeling something was not right. This was not the voice of old but something darker and more sinister.

"Gideon lived at his cabin probably the entire eight years he was gone. He was close, a car ride away, yet he did not call, did not want to see you. He did not love you. That is why you are sad."

"Shut up, go, and leave me alone!" Reid yelled.

"For now," it whispered.

Spencer felt his heart beating like a hammer. He sat on the side of his bed trying to calm himself when he thought he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head quickly but the vision vanished. He leapt up and raced to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face.

"It's just a dream, just a dream" he said aloud to his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

In that fraction of a second he thought he had seen Gideon, Tobias Hankle and Maeve's killer grinning at him from the corner of his bedroom.

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Rossi had been worried when Reid didn't pick up when he called. Gideon's death had shook Reid up more than anyone realized. Rossi decided a visit to Reid's place to check on him might be in order.

He carefully balanced the two take out coffees as he climbed the stairs to the second floor apartment. He felt slightly alarmed when he found Reid's door wasn't locked. He entered carefully.

"Reid!" he called. There was no answer; he set the coffee down and went to look for the younger agent.

It didn't take long.

He found Reid sitting on the bathroom floor propped up against the wall sound asleep. He was loosely holding on to his gun. It looked as if he might have had it pointed at the door; as if he were guarding himself against whatever that might come in.

Fin

AN: Please read and review.