Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club

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Kyouya was in the utmost state of frustration as he tapped away at his keyboard he noted the constant decline in the number of customers the club had been receiving. Perhaps it was the conversation had taken place, inadvertently in front of the entire school....

"Haruhi, I want you to set up my web camera for me, as we will be broadcasting an add for the Host Club in forty five minutes. I warn you however, that the equipment is expensive." Kyouya informed the girl.

Muttering her usual, "Rich bastards..." She went to promptly set up the camera.

The rest of the Host Club congregated around a long table set up in the middle of Music Room 3. In each of the twins' hands was a game boy. They offhandedly made comments to one another as Hunni-senpai devoured yet another slice of cake, and Mori-senpai doted on his every movement. Tamaki had been making proposal after proposal to Mom, which were shot down as soon as they took off.

"Mother, we could do a boyband theme! I heard they are quite popular in America, and just think of the tight pants!" Tamaki bargained, "If we preform a popular song we'd have customers crawling out of the woodwork!"

"Guys the camera-"

"No, I will not have anyone but me watching you prance around in tight pants." Kyouya countered quite firmly, "I'm quite sure that our customers have noticed our relationship develop, and would respect my descision to keep you as modestly clothed as possible."

"Kyouya. The cam-" Haruhi tried again.

The twins looked up with cheshire grins, "M'lord and Kyouya in a relationship.... this is most juicy news..." Hikaru hissed.

"Most mold-able clay..." Kaoru said in support. "Perhaps we mightn't inform M'lord of the offer he extended to us this weekend."

"Too bad we were headed to Paris for a fashion show... we might have taken him up on the offer...." Hikaru wrapped his arms around his brother, "If you were gentle to my dear Kaoru."

Tamaki's eyes grew to three times their size, "What offer, you pests?!"

Kyouya rubbed circles on his temples, "Tamaki, I think you need to learn a lesson." He pounced onto the table, crawling to where Tamaki sat.

Haruhi jabbed relentlessly at the "OFF" switch on the camera, but to no avail.

Hunny's eyes got wide, before Mori covered them with his large hand as Kyouya took ahold of Tamaki's tie. "You are mine and mine alone." He hissed, and bit Tamaki's lower lip aggressively.

Lavener eyes darkened, as he smiled coyly, "Hai sensai."

"Takashi!Takashi! Let me see!" Hunni commanded, jabing his fork in the air.

The twins had taken ahold of the camera, zooming, and swinging it dramatically.

"Hn." Mori replied to his cries, not relenting.

_____

"Alright class, let's watch the announcement from the Host Club!" The teacher said cheerfully, turning on the television

"If I had my choice, you wouldn't have any customers! You'd sit on my lap and be my customer all day! Those damn fangirls think they have a shot at catching your attention, but they have another thing coming if they think they have a shot at getting anywhere close." Kyouya's sibilant voice reverberated off the walls of the silent classrooms in the school.

"And that goes double for Tamaki!" Hunni shouted, jabbing his fork high in the air.

"Hn." Mori replied lackadaisically.

_____

The twins swung the camera to face them.

"And if anyone is interested in a threesome please contact Haruhi about setting up an appointment for one with us. Thank you for your time." They pushed a small black button Haruhi had not seen, and the camera was off. They hi-fived one another and went back to their video games.

Tamaki and Kyouya were frozen, looking towards the camera like a doe caught in headlights.

Mori removed his hands from Hunni's eyes, and patted his head gently.

"Whats wrong, everyone?" Hunni inquired curiously. He shoved the last spoonful of cake into his mouth and continued, "Perhaps this is why relationships are best made public." He wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Otherwise you explode, right Takashi?"

Mori noded his head and put Hunni on his shoulders to escort him back to class. "See you after school, everyone!"

Kyouya shuddered at the memory. Nothing had been said to him, however, nothing really had to be said... The one customer (Casanova-san) said enough. He also noticed the lack of hiitchan twins. "Haruhi where are Kaoru and Hikaru?" He asked, not looking up, still.

She looked up from her conversation with Casanova-san. "They had a lot of appointments..."

He tried to growl, but failed when he felt Tamaki's lips attach to his throat, "I am here as your customer, Kyouya-senpai..." He whispered. His head continued to throb as he saw the numbers go down in his calculations.

THE END

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A/N: yeah... idk wtf i was thinking either.... reviews are appreciated.