Hello everyone! Kuruk is back... AGAIN! (is shot)

Hee. Well, I am back... but for how long I can't say... Anyway, I got IoH for my birthday last week, and I really like it. It's a nice game, if not a little hard to control... but, hey, that's life. I particularly liked Shea and Pierre, along with Witch Princess, and Denny and a whole bunch more people...! But primarily Shea and Pierre. So, I thought, 'why not write something about them?' so I did. :D

These are alphabet vignettes on Pierre/Shea, not all of them are slash, in fact, none of them in this chapter are slash unless you squint... I will put for vignettes per chapter, and this is the system: two Pierres, two Sheas, two Pierres, two Sheas and so on.

Yay. So...

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't sue.

Hope you guys like it!

American

If you want to get technical (and you'd best do so) Pierre is a descendant of the finest, most legendary European chefs there ever were, putting all other Gourmets to shame and filling them with envy.

He proudly (and smugly), tells this to everyone he meets.

Usually this inspires awe, like with Chelsea. Or at least a sort of respect, like with Natalie.

But with that ever so frustrating tribal nincompoop (not really, though Pierre would never admit it), who knows nothing of the world beyond the forest, Pierre is from the only country Shea recognizes.

America.

America, as in American. Home of the distasteful, grease-packed, fattening fast food that causes a heart attack a minute and obesity run wild.

Really, Pierre's seen what it's done to some unnamed Gourmets that, well, let themselves go (like Pierre himself, before Fat Camp...)

But no, the savage never listens. Instead, he keeps showering Pierre with stupid questions. "Little boy," Shea will begin while Pierre looks for cooking ingredients, "Is chief of America strongest, like Wada is here?"

"Little boy, the old man from elephant tribe trying to be chief weak! Why the one from the horse tribe no just smite him?"

"Little boy, what tribe of America you from?"

Honestly, it's enough to drive Pierre insane...

--

(Little) Boy

Pierre doesn't like remembering when he met the savage, because, well, it was embarrassing...

Chelsea, being as dedicated to the reconstruction of the island as she was, had hired Gannon to build a bridge to the forest ("A bridge to nowhere," Pierre had sniffed, "Good Goddess what a waste...").

Still, Pierre wasn't one to shirk his responsibilities as a Gourmet. For all he knew the forest could be housing the missing link of delicious ingredients! He wouldn't be a true Gourmet unless he investigated...

Unfortunately, he did find the missing link, just not in ingredients...

He'd just been collecting some ingredients... and then next thing he knows he was assaulted by an insane monkey.

It wasn't until he was trussed up, carried over to a shack, and offered to a man with a lizard (dear Goddess, a lizard) in his mouth that he realized that no, it wasn't a monkey, but a half-naked boy!

Pierre had feared that maybe the island was inhabited by cannibals, and that he was the first to go (all the extremely talented were), especially after his captors spoke in some foreign tongue...

But suddenly the man with the lizard in his mouth smacked the boy, shouted in that foreign tongue and the boy hefted Pierre onto his shoulder, took him all the way back to the bridge, then dumped him there.

"Sorry, little boy," was all the wild boy said, and then he left.

Pierre nearly blew a casket. He was not a child! He just had a growth hormone deficiency!

He was almost too angry about the 'little boy' comment to notice that he was still trussed up... on a bridge to nowhere, in the middle of the night.

Almost.

--

Confusion

Shea doesn't understand a lot of things.

Like why Wada got mad at the man and lady in the funny dresses when they asked to set up 'church' on tribe lands. ("What is 'church?" Shea had asked after they left. Wada had just smacked him.)

Or like why Chelsea's cheeks get red whenever the fisherman with the weird bird-thing passes by. ("Chelsea, did sun burn your skin?" Shea had asked, alarmed. Chelsea had just turned redder.)

Or like... well, almost everything... except hunting, he understands that.

But the thing he didn't understand the most were girls.

Shea had never heard of 'girls'. He didn't see one until Chelsea had come to the forest, and even then he didn't understand what was so different about them... except in the way they acted.

Like how they giggled at things, or got scared of small things like lizards, or could be happy and singing then suddenly mad if you said something 'wrong' ("Chelsea looks stronger today! Bigger! Especially in stomach!")...

No, Shea would never ever understand girls...

"You savage!" Pierre screamed, face red with indignation, "I will not wrestle with you!"

Shea watched as the little man stomped away, muttering angrily to himself about 'savages' and how he needed chocolate to get through the day...

Come to think of it, Pierre behaved a lot like a girl too...

Maybe that's why he didn't understand him...

--

Dance

Every year there is a day that Wada says is a very special day, because it is the day that all animals are said to 'mate'.

Shea really doesn't really understand the concept, but, what he does know is that Wada says hunting is forbidden on that day, and that instead he and Shea must make a fire that will last the entire night and do a special dance to invite 'fertile spirits' to bless the forest.

The whole thing is very special, Shea knows, so, when it comes around, he prepares the lumber for the fire beforehand and makes the special ceremonial clothes needed for the dance.

But this year Wada told him that instead of dancing, like usual, he would have to find a 'mate', because it was time for him to become a man.

Shea had always assumed the way of becoming a man would be to hunt something very strong, or maybe even beat Wada in a wrestling match (he had trained for that endlessly) but when he was told that all he would have to do was find a 'mate' he became very excited.

So an hour or so before midnight (Wada had told him he'd need to find a mate before the dance) he had run into town and literally bumped into the small frame of Pierre.

"W-watch w-where y-you're going!" the little man had exclaimed after a very girlish shriek.

Shea had looked at Pierre intensely. "Little boy, you going to festival too?"

Pierre huffed and adjusted his purple top hat. "No," he said while dusting himself off, "I'm looking for a legendary mushroom that grows only at night!" a smirk danced on the blonde's pale face, "So naturally I'm too busy to-,"

"You come!" Shea cried, a splitting smile on his face.

The blonde had opened his mouth to retort, but before he knew it the hunter had picked him up and run off with him into the forest. (Pierre had shrieked all the way there, but Shea had just muttered about going faster, much to the Gourmet's horror).

They got there just as Wada was lighting the fire. "Wada! I bring mate!" Shea had exclaimed, happiness written all over his face, "Now I man!"

"What!?" Pierre had screamed, red spreading all over his cheeks.

Wada had smacked Shea and had (attempted) to explain mating custom, all while Pierre had huddled by a tree, very aware of the traitorous blush that would not leave his cheeks.

Whether it was due to Shea's blunder or knowing that all around him animals were mating, he didn't know...

--

Eclipse

This was the way Pierre saw his future: he would become a renowned food critic that would guest star on all TV cooking shows (except 'Top Chef', because they had amateurs cooking there), then, after making a name for himself, he would marry the best chef in the world, have two children (one that would become a chef, the other a Gourmet), and then spend the rest of his days being a food critic for a prestigious magazine.

It was expected of him, and nothing less.

At first, Pierre had pursued all of these goals vigorously. He started out by judging small town cook-offs while scouring the personal adds for amazing chefs.

He found no success though. He never did break out of the small town-scene, and every date he went out on would end with the potential wife laughing in his face because of his appearance, aspirations, but more commonly, his taste in clothes (purple was an amazing color, he didn't care what those brain dead bimbos said about that...)

Sunny Island was an exception though.

While people did give him funny looks at first, they didn't anymore. He'd become one of them, no matter how eccentric, or difficult, or meticulous he was... (because everyone knows that there are even stranger people in town...)

Still, Pierre... liked the village, and its inhabitants...

Freaks were all welcome there...

His dreams were being eclipsed by the... niceness of belonging, and Pierre wasn't complaining...

"Little boy, you want lizard like Wada? I want one."

... not all the time, at least...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hee. Hope you guys liked it...Pierre's such a little snob and Shea's so clueless... XD

The next chapter will stat with Pierre, then two more Sheas and then one more Pierre... Since there are 26 letters in the alphabet, there will be 26 vignettes based on the letters, then two more because then they won't be evenly spread out... (I'm OCD...)

So that's seven chapters... stay tuned! XD

Hope you guys liked it! Review please. :)

Happy Halloween by the way! Have fun! ;)