Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai Jack or anything related to the show. All that's mine here are a few minor OCs and one major one whom I hope doesn't come off as a Mary-Sue. Read and enjoy!

It was mid day in Metro City. Skyscrapers towered over crisscrossing rows of airborne vehicles. On the ground crowds of pedestrians crammed the streets, trying to make the most of their all too brief lunch breaks. This was the time of day the food vendors waited for with the greatest anticipation. One small tavern was packed with customers, and the wait staff had their hands full trying to keep up with all the orders. There were barely enough tables and chairs to go around and there was always someone shouting to be served.

But there was one customer who stood out through his silence. He had come in alone and requested only tea. Now he sat at the counter quietly sipping his drink and paying no attention to the noise all around him. He did not state his name, but everyone already knew who he was. His face was on wanted posters all over the world and his heroic exploits were the stuff of legends. He was a wandering warrior who never lost a battle and even dared to confront the mighty tyrant Aku. His true name was a mystery, but everyone called him by the name "Samurai Jack."

There had been some arguing amongst the waitresses over who would serve him. Eventually the head waitress and queen bee of the group nominated herself and none of the others dared to go against her wishes. After fixing her blonde hair and applying extra make-up in the bathroom mirror, she put her feminine charms to work.

"Here's your tea, sir." the lovely waitress said, smiling the sweetest of smiles and leaning close to him as she placed the mug on the counter. "Is there anything else you'd like?"

Jack barely spared a glance at her. "No, thank you."

The waitress was perplexed by this simple rebuff. "Are you sure?" she tried again. "We have some excellent specials today."

This time Jack did not even look at her. Instead he picked up his mug and began to drink. Her flirtations thwarted, the waitress pouted her painted lips in frustration. Then she quickly put a false smile on. "All right, let me know if you change your mind. I'll be back to refill your tea later."

Once the waitress was gone, Jack felt much more relieved. Past experience had taught him to be cautious with women. There were too many incidents where he had been taken in by a pretty face only to be betrayed in the end. For all he knew this waitress could be a bounty hunter in disguise or a spy for Aku. Until his quest was over he could not afford to take any chances. Hoping the blonde waitress had given up on him Jack took comfort in his tea and shut out the noise around him.

However, the blonde waitress had not given up on him. Even as she was serving other patrons she was plotting her next move. She knew well that her co-workers were watching and she would not be satisfied with anything less then total victory. As promised she refilled Jack's tea and offered him a menu, but he turned her down again. She came back a third time, a bit pushier then before, and tried making small talk, but was again unsuccessful. Jack only wanted to be left alone with his tea.

Meanwhile, at another restaurant nearby, the wait staff was having a very different kind of problem. There was a vagrant rummaging about in the dumpster behind the kitchen. The person's body was completely enshrouded in a filthy cloak that had once been a tarp of some kind. With back turned and face covered by a hood, it was impossible to tell if the stranger was male or female.

The waiters and the cooks had all tried to drive the vagrant away but all of them were ignored or driven off by flying pieces of trash. The manager was the only one left, and he did not dare set foot into the alley outside. Instead he yelled from the safety of the kitchen doorway. "Hey, you! Get out of my dumpster, you dirty bum! Your stink is scaring away my customers!"

The stranger responded by tossing a soda can at him. Even though the man was twelve feet away, the can came just inches from striking him on the forehead. He yelped as it struck the door frame, then he spun around and slammed the door behind him. He snatched the first telephone he saw from the wall and quickly pushed the buttons.

"Hello, operator? Get me the police department." Minutes later, sirens were screaming down the streets. The vagrant dropped a box of rotten tomatoes at the sound, just when the manager opened the kitchen door again and scoffed. "You hear that? That's the sound of justice coming to get you!"

The vagrant narrowed his eyes under the hood, then picked a tomato up and flung it at the man. This time it was a direct hit. As the manager sputtered, the vagrant used the distraction to leap from the dumpster and escape into the shadowy alley. By the time the manager had wiped the red glop from his eyes the police drones had arrived.

Like most of Aku's forces, the police drones had very distinct insect-like attributes. From the neck down their bodies could pass as humanoid, but their heads were like those of a praying mantis with sharp mandibles, long antennae and eyes faceted with hundreds of tiny lenses. There were seven in this group, all standing above seven feet tall and totally black in color with only a few red and blue accents denoting their function as law enforcers.

"Where is the trouble, sir?" the lead drone asked in an electric monotone.

The manager felt more afraid of the police drones then he had of the stranger in his dumpster. It took a moment for him to think of an answer to the lead drone's question.

"There!" the man sputtered and pointed down the alley. "A bum was stealing food from my garbage! He's getting away!"

Seven sets of wings snapped open, seven sirens began to wail and the entire fleet took off, leaving the manager coughing on their dust.

By now, Jack had finished his tea and grown tired of the blonde waitress's advances. He got up from his stool, paid for his drink and walked out. Suddenly the noise of sirens filled the air. Instinctively Jack reached for his sword. A small fleet of police drones was speeding down the street. Had his suspicions about the waitress been correct? Did she report him to the police for the extravagant reward? Then there was the crash of a garbage can falling and the screech of a stray cat being stepped on. A dirty cloaked figure dashed out of the alleyway and shoved past Jack. Suddenly the police drones swerved and went in pursuit of the stranger.

As they flew off, their sirens blaring loudly, Jack's mind began to race. In this world, the police were subject to Aku, the ultimate evil, and therefore any people they punished were not real criminals, but innocent victims. Jack had learned many different codes of ethics from his lifetime of training among dozens of different masters, but if there was one thing they all had in common, it was the protection of the innocent.

With that in mind, Jack set off after the fleet of police drones. When he caught up to them they had cornered their prey at the back of a dead end. All of them had laser guns mounted on their shoulders and aimed at the victim within their circle. Before any of them had the chance to fire, Jack had drawn his sword and sliced four of their bug-like heads off, leaving their headless bodies to fall to the ground. As they clattered to the ground they leaked oil and sprayed sparks everywhere.

The three remaining drones and their victim gaped in shock at the samurai. In the span of three seconds the robots recognized him, identified him as the more serious offender, and changed the direction of their lasers. They opened fire on him, but Jack raised his sword and used it to deflect the blasts back at them. One by one, three more robot heads and bodies clattered on the ground in a mess of oil and sparks.

Now there was only the cloaked figure. The person was huddled on the ground with its back to Jack, making strange muttering sounds and fumbling with something on the ground. Worried, Jack approached the hooded figure. "Are you alright, sir?"

The figure threw off its hood and glared at him, and Jack immediately wished he could eat his words. This person he had mistaken for a man was actually a dirty-faced, short-haired woman. Her figure was totally disguised by her shapeless cloak, so much that it was impossible to tell at first glance what her gender was.

"First of all, don't call me sir!" she snapped. "Second of all, does this look alright to you?!"

She stood up and thrust her right arm straight out in front of her; literally. Her forearm was made of metal and severed below the elbow, as mechanical as the drones Jack had just vanquished. Judging from the scorch marks a laser must have struck it, most likely a stray shot Jack had deflected with his sword. Now the broken limb was dripping black oil and its exposed wires were sparking. The woman's left arm, which was still intact, appeared to be fully mechanical as well.

It took a moment for Jack's brain to adjust to the series of surprises he had just witnessed. Then he put his hands together and bowed his head low. "I am deeply sorry for offending you, madam. Please forgive my carelessness."

The woman stood in silent surprise, as if she had never been apologized to before in her life. One second later she was annoyed again and waving the severed limb in front of Jack's face. "Sorry isn't gonna get my arm fixed! I don't have any money for repairs! What am I supposed to do now?"

Jack managed to duck just in time not to be swatted by her broken arm. "Please, calm yourself! I have money, and I am willing to pay for your repairs."

Again she seemed surprised for just an instant. Then she grumbled and put her broken arm down, much to Jack's relief. "Fine. Do you know a decent mechanic?"

He shook his head. "I do not, but this city is large. I am certain we can find one if we try."

They left the alleyway full of broken robots and returned to the street, where the woman pulled her hood back over her head. "So, where do we start?"

"I will ask someone for directions." Jack answered.

It seemed like a good plan, since there were plenty of people bustling back and forth on the sidewalk. At least one of them had to know where to find a mechanic. But when Jack tried to speak to a passing businessman he was drowned out by the man's own loud voice yelling at someone on the other end of his cell phone.

Jack tried again with about five more people, but no one bothered to stop and listen to him. It seemed they were all so busy with their own problems that he and his companion were invisible to them.

"Well, that plan was a bust." the woman said dryly, as if she had known it would fail from the beginning. "What now, fearless leader?"

Jack tried not to let her attitude bother him. "I suppose we are on our own."

"Did you ever think of checking a phone book?" she suggested, her tone much the same as before.

Jack looked at her with confusion. "What is a phone book?"

She looked back at him as if that were the stupidest question she had ever heard. "It's a book with phone numbers in it. You know, a phone book? Those big thick things made of paper, with all the yellow pages?"

Jack's confused expression did not change.

She rolled her eyes. "You're kidding me. You really don't know what a phone book is."

"Er…" Jack almost started answer.

"What about a phone booth?"

"Um…"

"Have you even seen a phone?"

"Well…"

The woman was now sure he was the stupidest creature on Earth. She smacked her forehead and groaned. "Oh, for the love of…You can slice robots to bits, but you don't even know what a phone is? Have you been living under a rock for the past hundred years?"

Before Jack could say anything in his defense, the woman pointed to a tall box with clear windows on a street corner. Someone was standing inside of it, holding one end of something to his ear and talking into the other end. The woman then proceeded to explain what the thing was as if she were talking to a trained chimp.

"There, look at that thing. That's a phone booth. It's got a wonderful invention called a telephone inside, as well as another wonderful invention called a phone book. Are you still with me here? People talk to each other on telephones, and phone books have names of people to talk to. People like mechanics."

Jack did not approve her disrespectful attitude whatsoever, but the explanation of the strange technology had been necessary for him to understand it. "So, what you mean to tell me is, with that device, we can find someone who can repair your arm?"

"Bingo. Now come on, he's leaving! Hurry up, before somebody else gets in!"

He followed as she dashed across the street and charged inside the glass booth. Once they were both inside she slammed the door behind them. As soon as they were inside, Jack realized that this box was not built to hold more than one person. Inside the cramped space he was standing practically on top of the woman. He also noticed that she smelled like she spent her days rolling in garbage and her nights sleeping in compost heaps, with no time for bathing in between.

She was also glaring at him dangerously. Again, Jack was confused. "What?"

"Keep your hands to yourself, buster." she growled. "I might have one fist left, but it's all I need to give you a fat lip."

"I will keep that in mind." Jack replied, attempting to inch away from her and not to say anything rude about her smell.

Just as the strange woman had said before, there was a thick book with yellow pages inside the booth with them. Jack needed no instructions on how to use a book. He opened it and began flipping through the pages, quickly discovering page upon page of alphabetized businesses and companies.

Under the letter M there was a very long list of mechanics, long enough to fill five pages. Jack decided to call the first name on the list, but as soon as he looked at the device the woman had called a 'telephone', he felt lost again.

Fortunately there was a sticker with three simple steps listed on the front. First, pick up the receiver. Second, listen for the dial tone. And third, deposit coins into the coin slot. Jack performed the first two steps correctly, but ran into a problem on step three. The only currency he had was a bag of gold nuggets, and they would not fit in the coin slot.

"Would you happen to have any coins for this machine?" he asked the woman.

She rolled her eyes. "What do I look like, a bank?"

Jack stared at the payphone, the dial tone sounding mockingly in his ear. Then he noticed another sticker on the phone that read 'Dial zero for operator assistance.' He did this, and the sound of the dial tone changed to that of an alarm bell ringing.

Suddenly a monochrome image appeared in front of him on a screen he had not noticed before. There was a bored robot looking back at him, seated behind a desk and wearing an odd headband with a microphone attached to its head.

"You've reached operator assistance." the bored robot said. "How can we assist you today?"

It took a moment for Jack to think of something to say in response. "Er, yes, I am trying to call a mechanic."

"What city?" the robot asked dully.

"Um…" Jack paused, having forgotten the name of the city he was in.

He looked at his hooded companion for help. Again she rolled her eyes at him. "Metro City."

Jack repeated the word to the operator. "Metro City."

The robot tapped some keys on a keyboard. "What listing?"

He looked at the woman again. Another eye roll. "He means the business."

Jack recited the name of the business straight from the book. "Axle's Machine Repair Shop."

The robot typed some more. "Alright, sir, I'll put you through now. Have a nice day."

"Thank you …" Jack started to say, but the image had already changed to static and the ringing noise had returned.

A few moments of this passed, and he began to worry something was wrong until a new image appeared on the screen. This time it was a rather swarthy, sweaty man with goggles on his head, holding a telephone receiver much like the one Jack was holding. He spoke in a voice that sounded like he had smoked far too many cigarettes in its lifetime "Axle's Machine Repair Shop. Axle speakin'."

"Ah! Yes! Hello, sir." Jack said quickly. "I have someone with me who has damaged her arm. Do you think you could repair it?"

"Is it a mechanical arm?" the man named Axle asked.

"Yes, sir, it is." Jack answered.

"Well, bring 'er on over and I'll take a look at it."

"I will. Thank you very much, sir."

"Yeah, no problem, bub."

Then the image went to static and the dial tone returned. Jack placed the receiver back on its hook and the screen went black. "Well, I suppose now we should go meet him."

The woman frowned. She was holding the phone book with her one hand and looking at the listing for the shop. "There's just one tiny problem. This place is on the opposite side of town. We'll have to take a bullet train to get there before nightfall."

Jack arched his eyebrows in confusion. "What is a bullet train?"

The woman stared at him in silence for a moment. Then she rolled her eyes again.