A/N: So this is my first fanfic and its only a one step.... or two step depending on how things go. =] Reviews are more than welcome btw. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any character in this story, they belong to the amazingly gifted Stephanie Meyers, nor any song I may use, those belong to my idol, Brandie Carlisle. ^-^ I simply own the plot. Bella's P.O.V~~~
Wow.. Even the newfound speed of my thoughts and the skill of problem solving, I just could not wrap my mind around how many people were here tonight. You would think I would be used to this by now, having started this new life as an outlet for the many burning thoughts and questions in my head. But nothing I had experienced yet could have possibly prepared me for this. So I swallowed the knot in my throat, picked up my guitar, took a sip of water, and headed out to the lone chair at center stage.
I briefly toyed with the idea of starting out with a fast paced, good time, kinda song. I soon decided against it. What with the pain still fresh on my mind, despite these many, fleeting years, I just wasn't up to it. I guess I never did quite go back to the Bella I once was. In spirit anyway. Pushing these thoughts aside, I settled my guitar on my knee, cradled it to my chest, and gently stroked the chords.
~Take me back Josephine Noontime wind can you blow Take me back Josephine Morning sun shine on me Take me back Josephine Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
For me one more time
And take me on back to the start
Where the midnight moon shines so bright
Nearly pulled us up to Heaven
By the strings of our heart
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Come light inside my window
And rest on my brow
Kiss my eyes when I sleep
And carry me back home
If my dreams will allow
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Someone help me understand why I'm still loving you~
After launching into the familiar folk song I realized that it was a lousy opener. I was in the middle of berating myself when I look in the crowd and noticed the change. The once distracted bar patriots were suddenly paying very close attention. If I had been able to blush I would have... fiercely.
I finished up and decided to play a more lively tune, just to try to keep the balance and keep them entertained. It worked.... The boot stomping spoke for itself. All the while, even during the upbeat songs, my mind flashed back and forth between past memories that should have long faded away by now. This put me in a slightly vindictive mood as I chose my next song.
~I watch you grow away from me in photographs These days we go to waste like wine
And memories like spies
And salt betrays my eyes again
I started losing sleep and gaining ways
And wishing I was ten again
So I could be your friend again
That's turned to turpentine
Till it's six AM and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up~
Knowing full well that no one in there understood the double meaning in my lyrics, I silently gloated. Feeling just a tiny bit heady, I chanced a look into the mass to gauge the sobriety of the crowd, trying to keep from awkward situations of course, and my eyes fell on an impossibility.
"No", I all but whimpered.
His golden eyes darted around the room, settling on me inquisitively, then turning frenzied. Sending a silent plea for him to be still, I took a deep breath and felt the anger and injustice well up inside of me, almost spilling out of my mouth. I knew exactly what I would perform next for my adoring fans.
~Everything I do surrounds these pieces of my life that often change
Or maybe I've changed
Sometimes seeming happy can be self destructive even when you're sane
Or only insane
But don't bother waking me today
Chorus
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung...
But this is my song
It is my song
Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they're gone
And they're gone
I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time
So you can come and get it from now on
Chorus
And it's you
It is you
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
I'm not sure I can take it
I'm nothing strong to hold to
I'll wait to only hate you
My mind is full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung
But this is my song~
After spitting out the final words of the song with as much venom as possible, I finished and looked up. The mortal mass was going crazy for some reason. Apparently I had spoken to something deep in their psyches that they enjoyed. My self congratulatory nature was short lived, however, as my gaze met his again. He looked completely crestfallen and broken. I immediately felt guilty. Why do I always hurt those I love so dearly? Then I mentally slapped myself. He left me. He made the choice. I know he wasn't expecting to see me again, not after the seventy or so years that had passed. Had I not run into a few old friends we may have never gotten this chance. And yet.. I just couldn't stop looking at him. It felt like an eternity that we stared at each other. He then stood up so quickly even my keen eyes had trouble following him, and began to turn for the exit. Panicking, I moved back to my mic and spoke softly through the speakers once more.
"Wait..."
He hesitated, as I knew he would, and I began my last song of the night, maybe for forever.
~All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you~
I finished and he simply stood and looked at me. Slightly worried, I raised a brow, a silent question. His expression eased into that small, crooked smile I loved so dearly. After all these years...
Edwards P.O.V:
I found her. I had known all along that somehow, somewhere, we would run across each other's paths again. Seventy some odd years of waiting....
"Hi.."
"Hello...."
A/N: Ok, I know it was random and probably not the best thing you've ever read, but it was my first, so please be kind. =] Reviews are well received!! And I promise the next one will be so much better. It's 2:12 am and I couldn't sleep. I suppose this is how many of my one shots will come about. So please have much patience with me. smile