"Ugh! Goddammit, goddammit all to Hell!" Stan rapidly ran his hands back, forth, up and down all over his laptop keyboard. Gibberish appeared on the word document.

"Stan, I've heard much more original curses than that." Kyle said, not lifting his head from the book he was reading. "What the hell are you trying to write anyway?" Despite the gratuitous amounts of time they spent together, they couldn't care less about each other's schoolwork.

"It's this… piece of crap essay," Stan explained as best as he could. "About… gah, what do you care?" he turned his attention back to the word document and deleted the gibberish he'd made earlier.

"No, no, no, I care…" Kyle insisted, setting his book down. "Need help?"

"Um," Stan hesitated. He took a look at all the sources that surrounded him on his desk. There were multiple google pages and reference pages on his laptop, as well as two dictionaries and one thesaurus opened to his left and right. "I think I've got all the help I need."

"Doesn't seem like it to me." Kyle said. "Let me see what you've written." He snatched the laptop from its adaptor cord, plopping down with it on Stan's bed.

"There are many…" he started. "That's it?"

"Yeah." Stan rolled his eyes. "Well, I know what I have to write… I just don't know how to write it."

"And what is it you have to write about?"

"I have to pick a type of phobia to research."

"A phobia?" Kyle raised a brow, and laughed. "Christ, that's not even worthy of a whole essay!"

"Easy for you to say." Stan replied.

"Well, let's start with A," Kyle opened the phobia list webpage. He skimmed through. "Agraphobia. Fear of sexual abuse." He laughed heartily. "Who isn't afraid of sexual abuse?" he raised a brow once again.

"It isn't rape if you want it," Stan reminded him with a grin.

"Amen." Kyle continued to skim through. "Androphobia. Fear of men… it's a lesbo's world!"

"Aw, Kyle, that's mean. You're mean." Stan took his laptop back. "I'll choose one myself."

"Okay. But if you need some help, you know where I am."

An hour passed. Kyle was still reading and Stan was still not typing. His eyes were pasted to the screen of his laptop. He went through the list of phobias, over and over again. He didn't know which one to choose. Each one of them was interesting, outrageous or just too plain to write about.

"Kyle?" he finally said.

"Yessssss?"

"May I have your help?"

"Certainly." Kyle put down his book, and leaned over Stan's shoulder to look at the phobia list. "Philemaphobia." As soon as he finished saying this, he got closer to Stan's face. "Fear of kissing," and with that, Kyle's lips introduced themselves to Stan's.

"Aphenphosmphobia," Kyle flawlessly pronounced, straddling Stan on his chair. "Fear of being touched." He ran his hands up Stan's shirt, then pulling him into a kiss with rough tongue works.

They both felt a certain hardness between themselves. "Ithyphallophobia," he continued. "Fear of having an erect dick."

How the hell does he know this? Stan internally asked himself. He then decided it was time to throw a little bit of what he learned at Kyle.

"Judeophobia. Fear of Jews," he stated, thrusting himself more into his Jewish boyfriend.

"Nudophobia," and before Kyle could even say 'fear of nudity', both of their clothes were on the floor.

Stan rapidly ran his hand back, forth, up and down all over his boyfriend, making gibberish escape from his mouth.

-------

Both lay motionless on the bed, in each other's arms.

"Now," Kyle began softly. "Imagine life without all of that. I think you can write your essay now."