Author's Note: This is really fluffy. Like, really really fluffy and it kind of scares me.

Disclaimer: As much as it would love it, they're not mine.

"Home run!"

I don't think I've ever been this excited to watch a game of baseball. And it's not even that the damn game is exciting (because it's actually quite boring), but it gives me a chance to watch my roommate get sweaty and show off his sexual…um…athletic prowess. Which let me tell you, is quite an amazing thing to see. Because Jason is extraordinarily hot when he's playing baseball like this, so intent on the game, even if it is just for gym class. The boy is athletic, what can I say?

What I can't say.

What I can't say is that I love watching him play, not because he's a really good player, but because I just love watching him. I'm paying no attention to the game, honestly, just sitting on the bench and praying that the coach doesn't call me in for my physical education credit (because no one takes a gym class more seriously than the actual coach of the baseball team).

Lucas hits my arm with a laugh. "I wouldn't mind a home run with Tanya; what about you Peter?"

I don't know whose brilliant idea co-ed gym classes were, but I'm rather thankful for it. It gives me the excuse to stare and not get in trouble for watching Jason…um…various boys.

Now for the part where I beg for sympathy. See, for as much as I love watching Jason playing baseball, playing any sport, or just walking around our room with no shirt on (I pretend I'm not paying attention during the latter), I know it means nothing in the long run. A secret, unreciprocated love. And that's what really hurts me. Because for as in love with Jason as I am, I know he's not…like that. Not like me.

Because I know there's something completely wrong with me. No one should be dealing with this…these…feelings. I know it's completely wrong…Father just gave a sermon on it last Sunday. The sin of homosexuality…why not just make the dorms co-ed and make us procreate to create good little Catholic babies?

With a sigh, I hear the bell. Gym is over. With a sigh of relief, I go into the locker room to get out of my gym uniform. I don't even know why I bother changing anymore, because I never play whatever we're doing. Though I suppose I should be grateful for that…I'm probably the least athletic teenager in the world.

I don't change until I'm sure everyone is out of the locker room. I'm sixteen, and none too comfortable with my body, just as I'm none to comfortable with anything about myself. Jason always asks me why I don't have a girlfriend, because apparently quite a few girls think I'm adorable, to which I always laugh. I don't especially want the girls to think I'm adorable. Sometimes, when I'm trying to fall asleep and Jason already has, I like to pretend that he thinks I'm adorable, and it just afraid to say it.

Unlikely, at best.

Right as I'm tying my uniform tie, I feel like someone's eyes are on me. I look behind me slowly, seeing Jason standing there with a towel around his hips. Blushing brightly, I turn back around, fumbling with my tie.

"Alright there, Peter?"

"I thought everyone had left," I mumble, still unable to get the knot right. It's not working; my fingers are shaking too badly and my hands too clumsy all of a sudden. "Sorry, I just-"

"I had to take a little longer in the shower…one of those saves got my knees pretty stained."

"Oh," I shrug, finally tying the knot correctly and reaching for my sweater. I know they're pretty relaxed about uniforms here (as long as you're at least wearing your tie), but I like the sweater. It makes me feel a little more covered.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

I look down at my feet, pulling my sweater over my head and tucking my tie neatly into the neck. Finally, I kick off my dirty gym sneakers and pull on my nicer shoes. I love shoes way too much for a guy.

"We have a free period, want to go back up to the room?" Jason asks nonchalantly, pulling his clothes out of his locker. He drops the towel and I decide that the ceiling is very interesting. "Peter?"

Jason and I have been sharing a room since last year, our freshman year of high school. I can't pretend it hasn't been fun, but since my massive…um…little crush developed on Jason, it's been a lot more difficult. I can't lie about that one.

"Yeah, sure," I shrug. "I should try to get some work done."

He's silent for a moment. "I was thinking I'd teach you a little about baseball," he says. I can hear the grin in his voice…it's a little sad that I can tell what his face looks like just by his vocal inflections. "You should at least figure out how to get to first base."

My head whips around at this, but Jason is concentrating on buttoning up his shirt. Did he really just say that? What did he mean?

Probably just that he wanted to help me with baseball. Nothing more.

"I'd much prefer homework," I finally let out a chuckle, turning back around to pick up my bag.

"Maybe you'll change your mind when I teach you some tricks."

Am I imagining this?

What the hell is going on here? With another shrug, I finally turn back to Jason, watching him pick up his bag. "Nah…homework comes first."

He studies me for a minute, and I blush under his intent stare. Why is he doing this to me? Does he even know what he's doing to me? Oh God, maybe he's trying to catch me in some sinful act…but what purpose would that solve? Maybe a good laugh for a bunch of the guys.

"Maybe I'll just go outside," I whimper, suddenly feeling very exposed.

"Come back to the room." His voice is, in some way, gentle but demanding. "I'll show you some stuff, then you can do homework."

With a sigh, I nod my head. His smile is dazzling and I just want to die because it's a small miracle I'm not acting on impulse right now and jumping into his arms.

Silently, we walk up to our small dorm room. Once inside, Jason makes sure the door is locked (I don't know why, he never does that), and looks at me intently again as I set my bag down and pull out a book. I sit down at my desk, opening the book to a page I'm not even sure I have to read.

"I thought we said baseball first."

"I changed my mind," I reply stubbornly. "No baseball, only homework."

There is silence for another moment before I notice Jason has kneeled down next to my chair. He's tall enough that he's almost face level with me.

"First base?"

"Jason-"

I stop talking when he puts his hand on my knee, pushing at it. Oh God, I'm sure I've died and gone to Hell. What else would explain this? "Just stand up," he says.

"No!"

"Please?"

He's looking me in the eyes and I don't know whether to a) melt, b) do exactly as he says, or c) crawl into bed and die. I decide on option B and stand up shakily. Jason stands up as well, and I feel like he's just kind of towering over me.

"Okay, then," I say with a quivering voice. "Teach me your tricks for getting to first base."

"First you watch the batter," Jason says with a grin. I don't understand what he's saying, because would I technically be the batter if I was trying to get to first base? "Then the batter turns to look at the benchwarmer." I blush. What the hell is he talking about? "And then…" is it just me or is his face getting nearer to mind? "Then the batter kisses the benchwarmer, therefore taking him to first base."

Before I even know what's happening, Jason's lips are on mine, and I don't know what to do except let my eyes flutter shut and my lips move against his in my first kiss…which is somehow the most explosive thing I've ever experienced in my life. It's like there are fireworks going off inside me, and my stomach is filled with butterflies, because I feel safe and warm and right where I belong.

We pull back for breath. And Jason stares at me guiltily. "And that's how one gets to first base."

For a second I'm not sure what to say. Then, I can't help my lips from breaking into a wide grin. "If it's that easy to get to first base…I'm sure second base can't be too hard."

"Just wait until I show you how easy a home run is," Jason replies with a wink and an amazing smile.

Then he kisses me again, and I can't process anything except the warmth.