Note from the Author: I just had to do this! It's kind of poking fun at the yaoi of Hikaru and Kaoru. though I happen to love it :) It's not very long, as you may or may not be able to tell, but it amused me somewhat. I got really bored in math class, and when I'm bored in math, I find little ways to amuse myself. This happens to be one of those little ways. Hope you like it!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters, no matter how much I may want to.

There was something different about the two of them. A subtle change one could barely see. Even then, you would have to know them back to front in order to tell. And when Haruhi had to squint to see the difference, you know there's almost nothing there to notice. But it was there. The twins seemed a little more…devious than on a normal day. There could only be one explanation: they were plotting something.

"Oh, Haruhi, you worry too much," Kaoru had said when Haruhi asked what was going on. He waved one hand. His brother waved the other.

"Assuming we're up to something, how cruel," Hikaru finished.

"We're just," the two began in unison, placing their arms around the other, "in a good mood." That one comment proved it- they were planning something and whatever it was, it wasn't going to be pretty.

Kyouya's fingers twitched around his moving pen. All eyes turned to him.

"Kyouya! What have you done?" Tamaki demanded with make-believe authority. Kyouya ignored him and glared menacingly at the twins, who stared slyly back. The twins broke the connection with a smug laugh and matching smile, walking off to their "station" for the day.

"Kyou-chan?" Hunny innocently asked, clutching his soft, pink Usa-chan. He was sitting on top of Mori's shoulders, as usual.

"What's going on?" Haruhi asked, again, for everyone. To much surprise, Kyouya answered her.

"Nothing," he informed, returning to his notebook activities, "I just made a little wager with the two of them."

"What kind of 'wager?'" Haruhi kept asking.

"Well, if they can pull in a record number of customers today, I promised they could have the rest of the week off. Nothing to be worried about, I'm sure." He viciously added, almost to himself. "They'll be back tomorrow." His words were hardly reassuring. A bitter chill still hung in the air…

--

The Host Club is Now Open

--

Everything seemed normal. Girls would step in and wait for their host of choice. The hosts would serve to the best of their ability. Just like any other day. The only change in the club would be the five pairs of curious eyes scrutinizing the twins' every movement. It all seemed okay. They laid out the yaoi twincest very routinely and girls squealed just as scheduled.

Until…

"Kaoru," Hikaru whispered melodramatically, "I can't stand this another minute." The fan girls caught their breath. Hikaru caught Kaoru's hand. The other hosts caught the drift.

But none of them stopped it. They wanted to, but they couldn't. The twins were going to do it. It would be a historical moment. It would break the record.

"Hikaru," Kaoru whimpered in pathetic drama. He pressed himself into Hikaru, and the other twin wrapped his arms around his brother.

"I love you…Kaoru," Hikaru "epically" finished.

"Hikaru…I love you too. More than anything," Kaoru answered through the mass hoard of fan girl hearts and screams. And as if that weren't enough…the two grew close. Very close. Even the hosts, who knew it was coming, gasped as their lips collided. Girls visiting with other hosts scrambled over to the scene. Cell phones were whipped out and pictures were taken as the room became more and more crowded.

The bright, shiny victory aura surrounded the two as Hikaru's hands settled around his brother's waist, and Kaoru's arms rested over Hikaru's shoulders. Not an uncommon pose for the two, but this time- this time was obviously different.

It was as though with every scream they got, the twins began to kiss harder and harder, only causing the squeals and squeeings to grow louder and louder. The room was packed.

"I don't believe it…" Haruhi mumbled under her breath, "I'm not surprised at all."

"Wow!" Hunny cried, "This has to be a record! Kyou-chan! Kyou-chan! They did it! They did it! They won! I'm gonna miss them these next few days…"

"I'm sorry, my dear friend," Tamaki muttered in a daze, "But you've lost this round."

"Yeah…" Mori agreed, his almost expressionless face showing the faintest hints of surprise. No one had really expected the twins to go this far, but they had…They really had…All for a few days away from the club.

--

The Following Monday

--

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" one of the girls squeaked, "Did you two really kiss?!" The twins smiled mischievously. It had been a wonderful triumph indeed. They shot Kyouya a quick laughing look before pulling back into their host characters.

"You weren't there to see it?" Hikaru asked too sweetly.

"No," the girl sighed with depression, "I was sick that day…" She seriously looked like she were about to cry. She had missed an epic moment for an regular customer at the host club.

"Well," Hikaru began, "I guess I wouldn't mind doing it again." He leaned in to his brother and cupped the younger twin's face in his hand.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru muttered quietly, "That day…I never wanted to let you go." And cue the squeals, the two thought together. Sure enough, the girls- depressed one included -began to scream uncontrollably. But the twins didn't get any closer this time. The kiss had been a once in a lifetime thing. One time only deal. At least…until Kyouya pissed them off again.