DJ Bee

Just a bit of fun with Bee and his radio. How could life possibly be dull when you have a talking car?

Sam tumbled excitedly out into the driveway with his schoolbag.

"G'morning Bee!" he chirped at the yellow Camaro. Instead of his usual cheerful greeting (invariably an audio clip of some sort featuring the words 'hello' or 'good morning') Bumblebee made a strange whining noise, like his engine was trying to turn over and wouldn't.

Sam froze.

"Bee, are you alright?"

Bee's speakers crackled with a pitiful wail of electric guitars, before switching to an Angels and Airwaves song.

'It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts…'

Sam was at his friend's side in an instant, schoolbag forgotten. "What's wrong Bee?"

'Under my feet, the earth shook, under my feet' sang the Moody Blues.

Sam checked around the car tires carefully. "I can't see anything Bee, maybe I should call Ratchet…"

Bumblebee cut off that train of thought by screeching like a chick in a bad horror movie complete with creepy backing music, followed closely by a 'Noooooo!' that sounded oddly like Darth Vader, and a clip of Simple Plan screaming 'I'd do ANYTHING!'

"Whoa Bee! Okay, alright, I'm sorry. No Ratchet. Got it." Sam held his hands up in a placating gesture. "I just can't see anything. Are you sure it's your tires?"

'YEAAAAAH!' wailed Three Doors Down, followed by Queen's 'Under pressure!'

"Okay Bee, I'll check again." This time, Sam crawled around at an agonizing pace, inspecting every available inch of rubber. "I guess this means no school." mumbled Sam to himself.

Bee answered with Armor for Sleep's 'End of the World'. 'I wanna stay at home…' and 'I guess the driveway will be the end of the road…' from Miley Cyrus.

"Oh c'mon Bee, I'm sure you'll be fine." Sam crawled to the next wheel, trying to ignore the miserable Autobot who was now belting out 'So much for my happy ending' by Avril Lavigne.

Running his fingertips around the third tire, Sam found something.

"Bee…" he tried to get the robot's attention, but Bumblebee was now wallowing in the opening strains of 'Welcome to my Life' by Simple Plan.

"HEY BEE!" Sam smacked a hand against the yellow paneling. "It's just a nail Bee. We just have to change the tire, that's all."

'HOWZAAAT!' roared the entire Australian cricket team.

"Sam? Why are you still here?" called Ron Witwicky from the doorstep.

"Bee's picked up a nail, Dad."

"Oh, do you need a hand with it?"

"Uh, no thanks Dad, I think w-I'll be fine." Sam got away with calling his car Bee, since it was yellow with black racing stripes, but he didn't want to have to explain why it talked through the radio.

"Alright." Sam's father disappeared back into the house.

'Uh oh, we're in trouble. Something's come along and it's burst our bubble. Yeah yeah, Uh oh, we're in trouble, book us a ticket on the next space shuttle…' Shampoo rang from Bumblebee's speakers. Sam burst out laughing.

"Where do you find that stuff Bee?!"

'…on the road to nowhere…' warbled Talking heads, followed by Emma Lahana singing 'Freak you out, freak you out, freak you out. Freak you out, freak you out, freak you out, freak you out…'

"Yeah. Definitely." answered Sam. "Let's get this tire changed then, huh?"

As Sam headed for the garage, Reliant K drifted after him. 'I'm pressing on, pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone. Pressing on, pressing on…'

Sam smiled to himself. Life would certainly never be boring again.