Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. You made my day! I like this chapter, and the last part was interesting. Somehow, this story is by far the easiest to write. I'm not sure why, though. And be warned, Ryou is a little…crazy again. But, by looking at the fear, you should have guessed that.
Use your imagination on this. Feel free to share thoughts on when this is, your musings, etc.! And don't forget to have fun ;D
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Dementophobia - Fear of insanity
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I was probably about thirteen, I guess, when I began to hear his voice again. After so long of his silent presence, the words came as a shock.
Hello, host.
Host? What did he mean…host?
Why are you so surprised, my dear little host? That's all really you are, you know. Nothing more, nothing less.
Even though I was in the middle of Science class, I jumped up, earning me a few curious glances. I just answered them off with a casual little shrug, blushing all the while. I could hear his chuckle clear as day, his voice cold and hard. This confused me greatly. Why was his voice like that? Why was I so afraid of him all of the sudden?
It's because you should.
Wha…what do you mean?
You're so dense! Can't you tell a liar when you hear one? Oh, of course not. You honestly believed in my empty promises. Well, well, you can see where it got you little friends, hm?
My friends?
Then, a realization hit me. My friends! The ones that had been hospitalized, I guessed. It was because of him. Bakura. He did that.
Correct.
I began to tremble, tears filling my eyes. This of, of course, startled my teacher, and she was to my desk in the blink of an eye. All gazes were on me, some worried, and some laughing.
"Are you alright, Bakura?" my teacher questioned softly, dark eyes locked on my own. She seemed so genuine. What could I say? I couldn't tell her that the ancient voice in my head that talked to me when I was little was back and nearly killed all of my friends, could I? No, she might think I had lost it. I just did the only reasonable thing I could think of.
I lied.
"I'm not feeling well," I whispered hoarsely, wiping the tears from my eyes slowly. I decided against a cough, thinking it would sound fake. "I feel…dizzy…can I please see the nurse?"
Eying me my sympathy, she nodded. "Of course. Can you make it on your own?"
I nodded, and stood up shakily. I was hardly even faking now, since I felt as if my head would explode. I scooped up my pile of books and headed clumsily toward the door. I could hear faint whispers of "get wells" and such, but didn't respond. I had to get out of that place, I knew, and had no time for such petty things.
There was no way I was going the nurse, so I headed toward the glass doors. My books had been dropped a few hallways back, and there was no intention of picking them up. I wouldn't be at school the next day, or all week, for that matter. The school could ask questions later; what did I care? Now, I just needed to get away.
The whole world was a blurry, swirling mess. I felt confused, but determination won over that.
Get home, get home.
You know, host, I'm rather pleased with the turn of events today. You're an excellent actor, and lie with only a slight hesitation. Soon, you won't have that at all.
Get home, get home.
Well, you'll be more useful than I thought…
Get home, get home.
Excellent.
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I sat on the floor, legs crossed, eyes wide open. I wasn't sure where I was, or how I had gotten there, but I learned not to dwell on those things. I would be out of there soon enough if he was kind to me, so I best be quiet. But exhaustion still clung to me, no matter how I ignored it.
Sleep would never take me, even in my tired state. No, I couldn't sleep if he didn't, that's just how it worked. No time for rest, you, see, no time for rest.
It's always dark, and cold. So cold. I wondered if he was outside, or in my house. There was no way to tell, no, not in there. I learned to not concern myself with those things, though. It always worked out.
Best not to worry.
A low rumble echoed in the room. It took a moment to tell it was my stomach talking. I giggled, shaking my snowy head. He had forgotten to eat again. Yes, yes he did. Ah well, he would remember eventually. He took good care of me, and our body. Food would come soon, and I could wait.
No big hurry.
It was almost nice in there. No need for silly things, or places, or people. Just me and myself, all happy and content and quiet.
But, it did leave time for thinking. And thinking was bad, bad. It brought up unpleasant things, like concern for the safety of my friends. What was he doing to them? Were they okay? That was one thing I couldn't detach myself from. I often had tried, but I wasn't able. No, no, I wasn't able.
Then, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, just sitting here. Was it selfish to save myself? Was it okay? I didn't know. I just didn't know. He was myself, so I had to support him, right? He deserved revenge, as did I, so he was justified. I had fought him before, oh yes, but didn't accomplish anything. I only got hurt.
Why would I do that again?
But, the others were my friends. (Well, I thought so, but he saw it differently. Oh well, oh well.) They protected me, even though it hardly helped. I just got hurt.
Again.
After a long time of thinking, I figured I was just meant to be hurt. I was meant to suffer. Yes, yes, that was it. I was nothing more. Nothing more.
But then, this brought up other questions. Why was I meant to suffer? Who decided that? Was it him, or them, or myself?
I didn't have answers to that.
But, even after all of these thoughts, one question bothered my more than the others. It was one I had been pondering since I was thirteen, all lost and alone in the world. The answer to my question was my greatest fear, for I feared I knew the answer all along. It sent me into hysterics, crying and screaming and laughing. I would yell it out, begging for someone to respond and begging for someone not to respond.
"Am I insane?"
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Poor Ry. He's so confused. And the grammar/sensibility was awful, but it was done on purpose. And every other line repeated xD It drove me nuts editing it! Hopefully it didn't bother any of you too bad.
- Unique Art