Chapter 4 - Death Sentence

He could not hide forever, Tsuna decided. After giving himself time to have a thorough and complete mental breakdown, he began the slow and painful process of collecting himself again. The events that took place just several hours earlier (which now felt like a lifetime ago), left him hollow and numb on the inside. His mind simply was unable to connect two and two together, accepting the idea that: yes - he had died, yes - he had possibly seen the afterlife (or a very very messed up dream), yes - he had been brought back to life, but with severe consequences. He had been stripped of all the abilities he'd painstakingly gained over the years, and was essentially crippled. A weak, useless person.

Resigned to not lie about in bed, Tsuna headed towards the bathroom, desperately in need of a hot shower. He was still sweaty and grimy from the earlier battle, and to his numb fascination, covered in bits of dried flecks of his own blood. Stripping out of his clothes and stepping under the scalding hot water, Tsuna relished the feeling of the burning water on his skin. It was a brief comfort against the chill that had settled over him earlier.

The deadly scar that now marked the center of his chest stung under the water, reminding Tsuna that it was there. He touched it lightly, feeling raised skin and the ugly form. It had healed completely, to Tsuna's amazement, but crudely. The skin was pale, and oddly marbled in colors, with heavy pink around the edges. His chest hurt in general, like the feeling that something had slammed into him, and he could faintly see the beginnings of a bruise forming around the scar. Looking closely at it, he could've sworn it was in the form of a hand.

The memory of being shot unwillingly flashed before his eyes. He hadn't really felt the bullet, but the brief agonizing pain that followed. Seeing his own blood pool out of the wound, for the brief moment he had been conscious, was more horrifying. A thought suddenly struck him. The bullet had passed through him. Hesitantly, he reached behind, feeling along his back. He grimaced when he felt similar scar tissue, just between his shoulder blades.

Unable to look at it anymore, Tsuna quickly grabbed the soap and began to wash himself, finishing up his shower. Toweling himself off and dressing in loose casual clothing, he took note of the time. It was well past midnight. He didn't even bother to think of trying to sleep now. His mind was too wound up, and he felt restless. His room suddenly felt stuffy and small.

Anyone who chose to stay at the Vongola mansion would most likely be asleep now. He decided this would be the best opportunity to seek out Xanxus, as Tsuna didn't quite feel up to confronting anyone else yet. Xanxus had mentioned that there was more to discuss, but Tsuna couldn't quite fathom how there could be more in addition to everything else that had happened.

He cast a wary glace at the Vongola ring, left on his bedside table. The burn around his finger was still fresh in his mind, and he felt hesitant to put it back on. However he was far too accustomed and protective of it to just leave it in his room (after all, it had been the sole reason for so many battles), so he ultimately decided to string it through a small chain necklace and wear it around his neck.

Peeking out of the door, he quickly looked down the hallway, relieved to find it empty. Quietly slipping from his room, he made his way around the manor, in search of where Xanxus might be. Tsuna knew the room Xanxus tended to use was on the opposite side of the Vongola mansion, but he rarely ever used it, for his distaste for the 10th generation was still fresh. The Varia had their own base of operations elsewhere, and Tsuna desperately hoped that wasn't where Xanxus had retreated too.

The silence was soon shattered however, but a loud and unmistakable cry of joy.

"JUUDAIME!!!"

Before Tsuna could even utter a shriek, he found himself engulfed in a vice-like bear hug from behind, and practically lifted off the floor. "You're alright Juudaime!" Gokudera cheered, before another voice called behind him.

"Hahaha! Easy Gokudera! Tsuna could still be hurting." Yamamoto called from behind them. That got the Storm Guardian's attention, and he all but dropped Tsuna in a rush, sputtering slurred apologies.

Tsuna straightened himself out and gave a relieved smile to his friends. "I'm ok, Gokudera." He tried to ease his overprotective guardian's worries., when Gokudera refused to fully let him go, and clung to Tsuna's shoulders desperately.

"Are you sure? I've been so worried. You wouldn't wake up, and there was so much blood, and that bastard did something, and -" Gokudera rambled on, shaking Tsuna's shoulders, looking ready to flat out cry. Tsuna noticed Gokudera's eyes were red and bloodshot, and there was a distinct stench about his breath. A glance at Yamamoto, who was giving a hand motion for drinking, confirmed his suspicions that Gokudera had indeed been drowning himself in alcohol.

"It's good to see you're ok, Tsuna. Like Gokudera here said, we've been worried. Reborn told us a little while ago that you had woken up, but we weren't expecting to see you up and about till morning." Yamamoto smiled easily, and pulled a stuttering and slightly tipsy Gokudera back by the collar of his shirt, allowing Tsuna some breathing room. "You are ok, right?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Thanks, you guys. I'm…ok." Tsuna started. He knew he wasn't ok, but he didn't want to worry them at the moment. "It's…complicated, but I'd rather tell everyone all together about what happened. There are still some things I need to look into. But I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise." Tsuna gave them a reassuring smile, but it felt painful.

Yamamoto seemed to accept this, and nodded in agreement. "Ryohei should be arriving tomorrow, and possibly Hibari too. I doubt Gokudera here would remember much tomorrow morning if you told him anything now, anyway." Yamamoto chuckled, nudging the depressed and drunk half-Italian, who stumbled a little on his feet. There wasn't any need to mention Chrome or Mukuro, because no one truly ever knew where they were. The thought of his Mist Guardian made Tsuna silently wonder what exactly Mukuro had been up to.

Tsuna nodded, glad to hear of Ryohei and Hibari, though slightly embarrassed to know they were returning just for him. "Well, I need to go find Xanxus now-"

'Fucking bastard! The whole lot of 'em! Did something to the 10th and doesn't have the balls to tell ME, the right hand-man what! Won't even show his face to me, the slime!" Gokudera cut Tsuna off at hearing Xanxus's name. "That guy…needs to get his assed kicked, again! Juudaime-" Gokudera paused, and poked Tsuna in the chest, causing Tsuna to wince harshly when he hit the scar dead-center. Gokudera continued on his drunken ramble, far too inebriated to notice. "Juudaime, don't listen to any shit that guy says. Just, bury them, the whole lot of scum, and set 'em straight. They're too cocky, doing whatever ---"

"Maa maa, Gokudera. That's enough for tonight. Let's get you to bed, and give Tsuna some peace, ne? I'm sure he's tired." Yamamoto, Tsuna's savior for the night, apparently had enough of Gokudera's ramblings as well. He half led, half dragged Gokudera down the hall, giving Tsuna a wink and a wave, while Gokudera continued on inventing new curses for the Varia, and half mumbling apologies to Tsuna.

Once they were out of sight, Tsuna let out a heavy sigh and dropped the fake smile he'd desperately been trying to hold for the sake of his friends. If was good to see then, and was relieved they were ok (despite Gokudera drowning himself in his misery for failing), but he knew answering their questions was going to be hard. He already made up his mind that he was going to tell them as much as possible about what happened to him. They deserved that much.

Continuing on his trek across the vast Vongola manor, just as he entered the Eastern Wing, where Xanxus usually stayed, he spotted Squalo guarding a doorway.

"VOI, looks like the boy IS still alive." Squalo sneered, his attitude no different then his normal greetings. "Boss said you'd be coming around tonight. He's pissed you've kept him waiting this long. Hell I'm pissed you took so long, simply because I've had to stand out here this entire time and beat away your stupid friends who keep pestering us." Squalo snarled, waving his sword around menacingly.

Tsuna never really had much interaction with the Varia guardians. Usually they had more fun picking fights with Tsuna's Guardians, and never really paid Tsuna any attention at all. Not that Tsuna minded. "I'm here now, aren't I? Is Xanxus in there?" Tsuna asked, not really in the mood to deal with taunts, but played nice either way.

Squalo gave Tsuna a glare, then turned and knocked on the door. Without waiting for a response, he stuck his head in the room. "Boss, the brat is here."

Tsuna heard a muffled reply, then startled at the sound of glass shattering against the door, with Squalo ducking his head back out just in time. "He'll see you now." was all Squalo said.

Steeling himself, Tsuna bravely walked into the room, feeling much like he was walking into a lion's den.

Xanxus sat at the desk situated in the back of the room, next to the windows. A single lamp on the desk was the only lighting, and when he glanced up to look at Tsuna, his eyes glowed. Again, Tsuna was reminded of a lion.

Sucking in a breath, Tsuna walked up to the desk, and settled himself in the chair that was placed in front of it. Any courage he may have had outside quickly faded.

Within the dim lighting, he could make out the faint light of the flame emitting from the ring on Xanxus finger. It was small and flickered lightly. Tsuna found it oddly surreal to know, that his entire life was connected to that tiny flame, like holding onto a thin thread. Xanxus caught Tsuna's line of sight, and smirked.

"Kind of terrifying isn't it? To know that your whole life is dependent on this tiny little flame." Xanxus practically purred, smug satisfaction written all over his face. A painful barb twisted somewhere within Tsuna's chest, hearing Xanxus's words that he himself had been thinking.

"How?" Tsuna whispered, unable to raise his voice any higher without fear of it cracking. Xanxus just raised an eyebrow in question. "How did you do it? I've never…heard of a way to…." raise the dead. He left the words unsaid, unable to fully put himself within that category. The Raised Dead.

Xanxus just gave an unconcerned shrug. "I just simply read the history, did the research." And with that, he tossed Tsuna a worn leather-bound notebook, stuffed full of various papers. Tsuna caught it, giving Xanxus a quizzical look. "My notes. Help yourself." And with that, Xanxus stood to leave.

Tsuna gave a wide-eyed look at Xanxus as he began to leave, then back down to the notebook. A sharp ripple of panic swelled within him. He was leaving. That bastard was just going to leave, and let Tsuna wallow through this mess, alone to figure out a way to fix it. And Xanxus wasn't going to do anything. That panic suddenly turned into anger.

"No." He spoke, just above a whisper. Xanxus didn't turn. "No." Tsuna spoke louder, this time with anger and conviction. Xanxus paused, but didn't turn. "No, dammit, NO!" Tsuna all but yelled now, and stood. He turned and threw the notebook at Xanxus's back. "You are not going to just leave and make me shift through this mess by myself. You did this to me, so god-damnit you're going to take responsibility and explain it to me properly!" Tsuna panted. He was tired, angry, and about ready to start crying because the entire world around him was falling apart and he just couldn't take it any more.

Xanxus stood there. He was no longer amused, but irritated. Though he had to admit, Tsuna's outburst was surprising. Some people really do change when pushed into a corner. Letting out an angry "Fine.", he stomped back to his desk where he sat himself down. Pulling out a fresh glass and a liquor bottle from a drawer, he poured himself a drink, taking a long swig. Tsuna sat himself back down in the chair, feeling his energy drained from his outburst.

"You and that baby are getting too much alike." Xanxus grumbled low, taking another long drink. Tsuna gave him a quizzical look. "He gave me the same rant about fucking responsibility, except he didn't use a book to hit me." He idly rubbed his jaw, where Tsuna just now noticed a bruise starting to bloom. Tsuna would have to ask Reborn about the confrontation later.

"I won't go through the whole history now, simply because I don't have nearly enough liquor for this kind of shit. So I'll give you the short and sweet version." Xanxus began, leaning back into his chair and putting his feet up on the desk. Tsuna sat in his own chair, stiff with anticipation and dread.

"I discovered certain…documents…in the Vongola archives that vaguely detailed an incident, back during the Vongola Quinto's reign." Xanxus started. "It wrote that a close relation to the Vongola Quinto had been killed. Either by accident or through desperation, the Quinto was able to revive him, in a much similar manner that I did with you." He held up the ring on his finger, watching the small flame flicker and dance. "I found accounts of two more similar incidents, where someone of matching flame types managed to revive a recently killed family member. One was another sky-type, and the third was Sun."

"That's how you discovered how to…revive me?" Tsuna breathed, taken by surprise. He'd never heard of any such events. Something as significant as raising the dead was pretty substantial. He wondered why Reborn never mentioned it, or if he even knew of it. Xanxus nodded, suddenly growing solemn. "And….what happened to them?" Tsuna pressed. If this has happened in the past, then there must be hope for Tsuna to recover his Dying will. He couldn't image living like this, feeding and living off of Xanxus's dying will, forever.

Xanxus didn't answer right away, instead watching Tsuna through half-lidded glowing eyes, idly swirling the drink and ice in his glass. He took another long swig, and swallowed harshly. "A week later, they died." He said.

Tsuna at first didn't think he heard him correctly. "A…a week?" He gasped, eyes wide with panic.

Xanxus tore his gaze away from Tsuna, unable to watch as he gave him his death sentence. "The human body isn't built like a box weapon. It isn't made to withstand and hold foreign dying will flames. Roughly a week after being revived, their bodies began to degrade as the foreign dying will that was originally keeping them alive, slowly killed them from the inside."

Tsuna stared, half unseeing, completely still and frozen as he listened to Xanxus's words.

"You have one week. Use it how you like, either by wasting your time in trying to recover your dying will, or use it to say your goodbyes and finish up any unfinished business. Either way, that's all the time you have left." And with the sentence given, execution day set, Xanxus dropped the empty glass on his desk like a judge slamming his mallet.

The clattering noise startled Tsuna out his frozen trance like lightning had struck. Without even looking at Xanxus, he stood, and slowly left the room, clicking the door shut. Xanxus sat at his desk, listening to the pounding of footsteps running down the hallway, the noise receding with each step.

Looking down at his now empty glass, Xanxus tried to rid himself of the image of Tsuna's completely dead eyes, void of any emotion or thought. He let out a vicious growl of frustration, and hurled the glass at the door, shattering it in a million pieces.

Oh man, as if last chapter wasn't bad enough. Torturing Tsuna is just a little too easy. I shouldn't be having this much fun with it. XD

*shovels on the angst in bucket loads.*

Writing this has become quite a bit easier (especially Tsuna's emotions and reactions), now that I have a path to follow. Specifically the Seven Phases of Grief (though I'm modifying it a little bit).

Next chapter we'll see the guardians, Mukuro included. Some insight to the events surrounding Tsuna's death, and maybe some of Xanxus's thoughts.

And I just wanted to take a moment to thank each and everyone of you who review. I write for a few different fandoms, but I must say that KHR fans write the BEST encouraging reviews, because you're all so damn happy about it. My other stories for other fandoms usually just get "I like, plz update." But with KHR I get spazzes and endless flailing, feedback and plot speculation. (Which some of you are dangerously close to predicting my plots...won't tell who though.... ;3 )

So I just wanted to say THANK YOU, and I love you all. :3

Till next time.

-Kou Tora