Chapter 22 – New Stuff

"OK, on your back."

Joe frowned but did as she was told and rolled over on the repair berth. Her back blades could rotate to sit flush against her back unlike door wings making it easier to lay supine, but it was still a little uncomfortable. "How much longer is this check up going to take?"

"Until I say so, now sit still."

Joe grinned and gave Ratchet a light kick in the aft as he walked to the end of the berth.

The CMO spun around giving Joe an admonishing look. "Don't make me dig out the restraints."

"Kinky."

"Joe, I'm trying to work here."

"Uh huh, you're calling what you did to my back blades awhile ago job related?"

Ratchet's lips twitched as he struggled to keep from smiling. "I was testing their sensory capabilities."

Joe sat up with an indignant squawk. "You are such a liar!"

"Sit. Still." Joe muttered then laid back down as the CMO continued to examine her systems. "Well that will be useful."

"What?"

Ratchet held up Joe's left hand and rotated it so she could see her palm. "See this?" He pointed to a dark panel that covered a portion of her forearm and wrist. "This is used to shape and hold energy in the form of a blade. Optimus has one but on a much larger scale. Go ahead and redirect some energy into this area."

Joe watched with wide optics as a blade made of orange light deployed from the panel. "It's a surgical knife isn't it?" she exclaimed as she noted the size and angled shape of the glowing blade.

"Very astute" Ratchet replied with a smile as the blade retracted. He set Joe's arm down and made a note on his datapad. He conducted a few more scans then set his datapad down and told Joe she was free to move about. The femme jumped off the repair berth and unfolded her back blades to their full length with a sigh of relief. Ratchet waited until the helicopter blades were doubled back on themselves to a more reasonable length before walking up behind Joe and wrapping his arms around her.

Joe shuttered her optics and rested the back of her head against Ratchet's shoulder as the CMO began nuzzling her neck. "What happened to work you hypocrite?"

"The check up is done. It would have been done a lot earlier if you had been a more cooperative patient you stubborn aft."

Joe shivered as Ratchet's mouth moved along her neck cables. "Not my fault your bedside manner sucks slag. So am I healthy?"

Ratchet pulled back slightly chuckling. "Actually you are a bit of an enigma. Your body is cybertronian but you have several human traits mixed in; like your green optics for example."

"So I'm a freak. Fun stuff."

"I was going to say unique, but if you wish to be a freak I won't argue."

Joe turned her head to meet Ratchet's optics. "So freaky stuff aside, am I cleared for duty?"

Ratchet placed a gentle kiss on Joe's lips. "I don't see why not." He reached up with one hand and traced his fingers across the new autobot symbol decorating Joe's cockpit. "Thank you."

"For what? Signing up with the Autobots?"

"For being a part of my life."

Joe spun in Ratchet's arms to face him. "Sentimental glitch" she teased as she caressed his cheek.

"Well now, what pray tell do we have here?" Wheeljack shook his head as Ratchet and Joe jumped and separated themselves. He walked the rest of the way into the med bay and leaned against the door frame with arms folded across his chest. "If that was a routine medical exam then I need to hit the books again 'cause apparently I've been doing it all wrong."

"Well it's been fun guys but I think I'm going to go hunt down Powerglide and see if I can learn a few new aerial maneuvers." Joe walked calmly to the doors and paused abreast of Wheeljack. She made a sudden move towards the Lancia making him flinch back with hands raised. Joe nodded with a satisfied grin. "Now who's the chicken shit?" She patted the engineer gently on the head then left the med bay.

Wheeljack blinked then turned to regard Ratchet. "You know, she's kinda scary at times."

"Joe's ability to scare you is my top reason for loving her."

"Very funny. So judging from the fact that I walked in on you two damn near welded together I'm assuming things are going well?" He walked over to the CMO and picked up the datapad Ratchet had been working on earlier.

"Better than well" Ratchet replied with a smile. "I haven't felt like this since my academy days." He paused for a moment "scratch that, I've never felt like this before."

Wheeljack chuckled then cut off as he read something on the datapad. "Human pulse?"

"I was wondering when you were going to catch that. Her body is mostly cybertronian but I keep finding little human characteristics. Her spark pulsing with a human beat instead of a cybertronian one is the latest trait I've uncovered."

"Neat."

"And no that does not mean you get to experiment on her."

"You are no fun."

"I just hope that none of these oddities causes any issues."

"Meh, I'm sure she'll be fine." Wheeljack placed the datapad down and looked at Ratchet. "To be honest I'm more concerned on how you plan to break this to the crew."

"I don't follow. What does Joe's human…"

"Not that ya lugnut. I'm referring to the fact that the new pretty femme on the roster is already taken…by her mentor, who also happens to be in her direct chain of command."

"Oh. That. Well I'm pretty sure Jazz is already onto us. That fragger is watching us like his own personal soap opera. Optimus and Prowl on the other hand…those are the two I'm worried about. I'll just have to deal with that when the time comes."

Both mechs turned their attention to the med bay doors as they slammed open to admit a rather pissed off looking Powerglide.

"That crazy sadistic femme!" the red aircraft shouted. "Look what she did!"

Wheeljack's voice indicators flashed in surprise as the pilot indicated his right wing, which was bent at a ninety degree angle. "What happened?"

Powerglide snorted as he pulled himself onto a repair berth. "That twisted she-bot asked me to teach her some flyin' moves, so nice guy that I am, agreed. Then outta nowhere she grabs hold of my wing and almost rips the fraggin' thing off!"

"You didn't by chance provoke her in anyway did you?" Ratchet asked in a quiet voice as he inspected the pilot's wing.

Wheeljack took a step back from the other two mechs. He was all too familiar with that dangerous tone. If Powerglide continued on his current path Ratchet was going to finish what Joe started.

"Totally unprovoked! I'm tellin' ya, she's outta her fraggin' processor!"

Wheeljack took another step back and placed his hands over his audios.

"Are you done?" Ratchet inquired.

"Done?! No I'm…" Powerglide's response cut off as Ratchet slammed a wrench down on the repair berth.

"You…are yelling at me…in my med bay?"

"But…"

"In my med bay?!" Ratchet roared.

"Ratchet please…"

"If you have problems with my apprentice then bring it to my attention in a professional manner, not bitch at me like an arrogant, aft headed, rusting out piece of Pit spawned slag!"

"Ratchet I'm…"

WHAM!!

"And don't slam my med bay doors!"

Wheeljack removed his hands from his audios and walked up to Ratchet. "If only they'd learn." He glanced down at the offline pilot now sporting a wrench sized dent upside his head and rested a hand on the damaged wing. "So what do you suppose he did to set Joe off?"

"Knowing this cocky flyboy? I'm not sure I want to know." Ratchet cycled his vents and started to repair Powerglide's wing. Wheeljack stuck around keeping him company until the engineer wandered off to get errands done before his own shift in the med bay. The rest of the shift seemed to crawl at a snail's pace and Ratchet found himself checking his internal chronometer every few minutes. It wasn't that he was eager to be with Joe, he simply wanted to find out what happened with Powerglide; really. Ratchet even repaired the dent in the pilot's head just to pass the time. When Wheeljack finally returned to take over the med bay and it's lone (and still unconscious) patient he bolted out the door.

Ratchet practically ran from the med bay to Joe's new quarters located down the hall from his own. He rapped a knuckle on her door and tried to assume an irritated expression. Joe answered the door and raised an optic ridge when Ratchet went into his rehearsed speech. "So there I was, pulling my shift in the med bay like normal when guess who walked in? Powerglide; and with a busted up wing of all things. Now you're gonna love this. Want to know how he obtained said injury?"

"I can imagine what he told you. Now if you'd like, you can continue on with this wonderful sarcastic story telling session of yours from the hallway, which by the way is as close as you're getting to me; or you can step into my room and listen to my side of the story."

Ratchet's chin hit his chest as he lowered his head in mock shame. He fought to keep from laughing as he replied with a "yes ma'am" and entered Joe's room.

Joe shook her head as she shut the door behind the medic. "You can be such an aft at times."

Ratchet grabbed Joe by the waist and pulled her in for a fierce kiss. "An aft am I?" he growled as he broke the kiss.

Joe leaned heavily against the CMO as she tried to catch her breath. "Did I say that?"

"Yes, you did."

"My mistake, what I really meant to say is that you have a nice aft."

"That's better" Ratchet chuckled. "So what did the airhead do to get you all riled up?"

Joe smirked and pulled away to flop down in her chair with a pout. "I asked if he'd mind teaching me a couple of aerial maneuvers. He showed me a few air moves and then tried to show me some other moves. I simply let him know that I wasn't interested."

"That slagger. I should've bent his other wing so it matched."

"I think he's learned his lesson. I actually hope he tells everyone what happened so they don't bother with trying. The only mech I'm interested in is standing in my room…with a really dumb looking proud boyfriend smile I might add.

"Why thank you; I think."

Joe grinned as she got out of her chair and made her way back to Ratchet. "Wanna see what I learned?"

"That depends, did Powerglide teach it to you?"

"No!" Joe laughed. "'Jack did."

"What?"

"He stopped by on his way to his shift and said you could use some…stress relief." Joe put her hands on Ratchet's shoulders and slid her digits down the outsides of his arms and ended by holding his fingers. The movement was slow, deliberate, and activated every single node on the way down. Ratchet cried out loudly as he fell to the floor taking Joe with him. Joe looked into Ratchet's optics from where she lay sprawled on top of him. "Oh frag! I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

"Yes" Ratchet replied weakly.

"Too much?"

"I'll let you know when I can see straight again."

"Want me to stop?"

"Frag no!" Ratchet knew he probably looked and sounded stupid at that moment but didn't care. All the cares in the world melted away as the femme above him expressed her love for him in the best of ways.