The mountain of goose-feather pillows and blankets moved when the sleeping young woman that was buried under it rolled in bed

The mountain of goose-feather filled pillows and blankets moved when the sleeping young woman that was buried under it rolled in bed. The first sun rays invaded the chilly house through the window and she stretched her legs and savored the short moment of grace in which she hung between sleep and wakefulness. That moment was the bitterest in her entire day, the one before she opened her eyes and had to face another day of the cruel reality that engulfed her. She felt the last strings of sleep quickly and mercilessly being cut and she was thrown into the morning chill. She took her time getting up of the bed. It was Sunday, her day off. Quickly dressing up, she gathered her hair into a sloppy bun.

Linda stood in the kitchen, looking with a yearning gaze into the fridge. The milk bottle was empty, the remains of the butter were smeared on its tin foil wrap, and the jam was congealed on the bottom of the jar. She forgot to buy groceries again. She closed the fridge and leaned against it, trying to stop the rain of tears from gushing out of her eyes. If she'll start crying, she knew it would be impossible for her to stop. After nibbling the bread leftovers, she went outside to check the mail. Full of expectations, she opened the squeaking mailbox and took the letters out of it. Quickly, she browsed through the letters, but all was bills. She inhaled the burning disappointment into her lungs. Every day, she was hoping to hear from Nick, but he was AWOL and no one had a clue where he was. Walking back into the house and throwing the letters on the kitchen table she couldn't help wondering if he was still alive. Uncertainty was unbearable. She wanted Nick to come home and marry her. She didn't belong in this world without him by her side.

A knock on the door drew her mind away, just for a brief moment, from Nick. She opened it, but no one stood there. It must have been the wind and her deep longings for Nick playing tricks on her. The sound of some chattering in Russian from the street reminded her of her tasks for the day and she grabbed her coat and went out of the house.

The winter's frozen air felt like a thousands of needles stinging the skin of her hands as she buttoned her coat. It was a gloomy day, but for Linda, even the brightest summer day was gloomy, at least without Nick.

"Morning, Linda." The priest stood in the doorway of the church and smiled at her.

"Good morning," She replied politely and went into the church. She took her usual seat, in the back, hearing the buzz of chattering in Russian and English around her, but unable to react to it or take an active or passive part of any conversation.

"Linda," She felt someone touching her shoulder. It was Stanley. After Nick and Mike went off to Vietnam, Stanley tried to make Linda happy and he always pushed little gifts into her palms on Sundays, during the prayers. Sometimes it was a candy, sometimes it was a flower he picked for her, sometimes it was a handkerchief and once he even gave her a locket. This Sunday he handed her a crumpled envelope. "You'll like this one." He said. She carefully opened the envelope and read the letter inside and a wide smile quickly rose on her face. She excitedly wrapped her arms around Stanley and kissed his cheek. Mike was coming back home.

The expectation for Mike's coming home was almost as unbearable as Linda's need to know the whereabouts of Nick. He was her last string of hope and every moment of waiting for him was endless to her. To keep herself busy, she took on herself arranging a wonderful party for him and it occupied her mind, at least for a while.

He arrived at an early morning hour and his being there startled her as she opened the door. He looked so similar to the man he was when he left, but also so different at the same time. The shy gaze in his eyes was something she recognized from the old days, but there was also a sadness that crept into it.

She was sitting in the back of the store when it suddenly occurred to her that Nick won't return to her. He could write or call, but he never did. Even if he was alive, he must have gone of with some Vietnamese girl. Why would anyone want her anyway? Suddenly, she saw Mike's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She quickly wiped her tears.

"Nothing." She replied.

"Well, there must be something." Mike smiled at her. She sniffled. After a few moments, he left her alone.

She was lying in the bed, next to him, naked. It has been a long time since anyone touched her and more than satisfaction, she felt calm. She didn't love Mike, not the way he deserved, but Nick was no longer an option for her. He was AWOL, away from her, as far as she knew, probably with some other girl. Or worse, he could be dead. She didn't feel sorry for sleeping with Mike. He was a caring man and he seemed to need the only comfort she was able to offer him.

"Mike," She whispered. "Thank you."

"What for?" He asked.

"For being here for me."

"I'll always be here for you, don't you know that?" He asked.

"Why?" She asked. "I'm not smart or pretty or successful and I don't have anything other girls have."

"Linda, you're the most beautiful and the bravest woman I've ever met. You have so much more than all the other women on this earth, don't you know?" His words made her cry. For one moment in her life, she felt worthy. Mike thought this way.

"Thank you, thank you, Mike." She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

He was not by her side when she woke up the following morning and he was gone all day, she didn't know where. He came back in the evening and told her he was going back to Vietnam. Then he quickly packed his bags, let her hug him goodbye and promised her he'll come back. After he left, she sat and stared blankly into the air for a long time and only eventually fell asleep in her chair.

She was excited when she heard Michael was coming back. He wrote to Stanley that unexpected circumstances were bringing him home sooner than expected. Linda did not know what the circumstances were, but all she cared about was Michael coming home.

She stood in front of her mirror and applied makeup on her face. Usually, she didn't use any makeup, but she wanted to look her best for Michael. She heard Stanley knocking on the door, and she opened it.

"Linda, you look beautiful." Stanley smiled at her. He has gotten a haircut, finally. "You're ready to go?" She nodded quickly, grabbed her coat and they left.

Michael saw Stanley's car approaching and all he could think about was Nick, whose body was making its way to Clairmont in a hearse. Nick could be alive if he said or did things differently. For the first time in his life, he felt so out of control. Stan's car pulled over in front of him and Linda cheerfully jumped outside, covering him with hugs and kisses. He held her at arms length and looked at her. She was looking so pretty in a dark green dress with white little flowers and a mint colored wool jacket. Her hair was shining and she looked so lively.

"Linda," He said. "I found Nick."

"Nick?!" Linda's eyes widened and he could see tears welling in them. "Where is he? I wanna see him."

"He's…" Mike looked at Linda's expecting face and sighed. "He's dead." Linda could feel a cramp in her stomach as Mike said the words. Mike wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, as her tears of joy transformed into tears of sorrow.

The bedroom filled with the morning light as Mike moved aside the curtains. The strong light invaded Linda's closed eyes and she pulled the blanket over her head. Mike went out of the room and came back moments later with a baby girl in his arms.

"Look, here's mommy." He said with a smile and pulled the blanket away. Linda stretched in bed and yawned as he put the baby in her arms. He took a seat on the bed, beside her and dropped a gentle kiss on her lips and another one on her growing belly.

"Good morning," She said. Every morning started the same way in their house and every morning the same things were said.

"You look beautiful in the morning. I love your smell." Mike stroked her hair. She smiled at him.

"Why won't you fix us some breakfast?" She asked her usual question and he kissed her again as he nodded and went out of the bedroom. As she heard the sound of egg being fried in the pan and the plates being taken out of the cupboard, she smiled to herself. She has waited a long time for her dreams of family to come true, and even though Nick has been her first real love, she eventually was able to love Mike the same way and make her dreams come true, with him. She felt fortunate and luck to her, was not something that came easily. She was feeling fortunate for many things, but most importantly she was lucky, because she was no longer waiting for a boy to come home.