Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: This is another oldie of mine, about two years as well, maybe closer to one and a half well... either way: I did it when I feeling down about something or another. It'd from Sasuke's POV, obviously and had pertained to how I was feeling at the time written. It's not beta'ed so excuse any spelling/grammar.

His chest heaved with each painful breath; it burned with every pump of his heart. His fingers burned, his head hurt. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't cry anymore. Everything he was, everything he believed didn't matter anymore. He had betrayed the only people who cared about him. He had betrayed himself.

The images burned his brain, he wanted so much that he would never get. He was willing to do anything to get it but was able to do nothing. He only knew himself, and even that he doubted. He was never good enough for anyone before, why would he be now? Left in the dust of everyone else around him... Helpless.

He sighed, curled onto his side, face half burrowed into the crimson covered pillow beneath his head. Raven hair spread in a soft wave over the silky material.

Why?

Why couldn't things be normal for him? Why couldn't he just be happy like everyone else? Why did he dwell on things so much? Why was he so weak?

He rolled unable to look at the spot on the wall that had betrayed him, provided him with nothing but silence.

No point.

There was no other reason for his existence than to just be, breathing in air he wasn't even worthy of. He should have died a long time ago, possibly, he should have never of been born.

There was one person who seemed to love him, that seemed to accept him beyond all faults. That one person he didn't deserve, at least he felt like it. The warm smiles he got, the moments he was actually happy, though they were short lived. For those times that he actually felt needed, wanted…alive. Those feelings didn't seem to matter when he felt like this. The pain was too much, even for him to bear. He would just curl up inside himself, and wait it out, wait until he was forced to put on his mask once again.

He closed his eyes trying to shut out the world around him, he didn't want to be there, or anywhere for that matter.

Damnit.

He rolled again forcing the image that had just surfaced back down into the bogs of his brain. He didn't want to think of him, not now. The happiness the boy managed to give him he always felt he never deserved.

I…

He growled at himself, disgusted that he was so weak that he couldn't even control something as simple as his own life.

Fuck up.

He didn't want to think, just sleep; but his brain just kept on functioning allowing nothing but the pain to keep burning through him. His chest hurt, his finger tips were tingling with numbness though there was nothing to physically cause it. His throat tightened as he battled with the scorching tears at the back of his eyes threatening to come out.

Stop it.

He tightened his fists around the pillow, attempting to squeeze the life out of the immobile object. He stomach churned and growled, his nose threatened to stop working, causing him to pull in shallow, almost soundless breaths over his lips. He clenched his eyes shut tighter, seeing small spots dance through the darkness with the force. He grit his teeth, locking his jaw so his chin wouldn't quiver.

So much pain.

He wanted something but didn't know how to ask for it. He didn't want it handed to him like it was a gift; it was something he was always struggling to earn, something that was always just out of reach for him. He opened his eyes slowly, his vision slightly hazy as if he were under water.

Get away.

His brain screamed at him. He stood, placing his feet onto the cold floor, slowly making his way to the door. It was cold outside, cold enough for his breath to be seen with each short puff of hot air that left his mouth; but not nearly as cold as he felt inside. He didn't even bother with a jacket, nor did he care.

Just a walk.

His head bowed, hands shoved into pockets and the same placid expression on his face, the same one he always wore except there was something else there, something that only a few people could pick up.

He was surprised when he finally stopped. He looked up.

Here?

He knocked on the door.

Why here? Why him?

He knew why.

There was a shuffling behind the closed door then the sound of the metal lock scraping against its holder. It was then he was greeted with a small look of shock.

"What are you doing here?"

He said nothing, simply lifted his eyes to meet the crystal blue pair that were watching him. A big, bright, warm smile.

That smile.

His smile.

The smile that always sparked something deep within him, something about the meaning behind it…happiness. He scoffed, almost.

"Hn"

"Get in here, its freezing out there." He was pulled inside, into the warmth of the small space. "What were you doing out there in the cold?" The expression he got was of curiosity and-

Concern.

His chest began to burn again, his heart sinking, the pain slowly spreading.

Stop it.

He looked around, needing anything to get his mind off this feeling. He shifted on his feet, making not a sound. The other moved around, going back to what he had been doing before this intrusion, completely unaware to the distress he was currently in.

Why?

Why was he here? What drew him here?

"Don't just stand there and say nothing, it creeps me out." He glanced up, raven hair covering part of his vision.

"Sorry." He was short, and it hurt. His eyes fell to the floor in front of him once more. There was the sound of moving cloth and then a pair of feet came into his vision. He glanced up, seeing the concerned furrow to blonde brows.

The other looked rather shocked, he could see it in those blue eyes. He was so readable.

"Whatever." He added realizing that 'sorry' was something he had never said to the boy in front of him. He turned his head making his mask known, pushing the bright sunny locks out of his sight as he closed his eyes. His heart sank. He didn't want to be so cold, but he had no choice.

His breath hitched in his throat as something practically tackled him. He looked down to see the other pressed completely against him, arms tightly wrapped around his waist. He could feel the pain return to his chest, slowly growing, spreading, his fingers slowly going numb, his heart sinking into his stomach. He felt like pulling the other closer, imagined it even, somehow the mental image bringing him a small amount of comfort amidst all his pain.

"Sasuke?" He heard his name breathlessly pass over those lips. He looked up, seeing blue eyes shining down at him. Somehow he had ended up in his arms, those arms loosely draped around him. He fell forward, warmth radiating from his lips, slowly spreading throughout his whole body.

A kiss.

He pressed his face into the hard chest, against the heart that was beating under the skin. He clenched his eyes closed, fighting off the tears that were pushing their way forward, burning at the back of his eyes.

The arms drew tighter, pulling him into a warm embrace. He could feel his pain more now, but there was something else there, something that made the pain feel like it didn't matter anymore. He clung to him, pulling himself closer, any closer and he would pull himself into the other.

The chest heaved and a soft sound came out of it. He pulled back startled. Those blue eyes hitting him deeply, they were sad.

"Tell me..." He sobbed, tears streaking down the whiskered cheeks. "...What's wrong?"

It was too much for him. He pushed himself back into the embrace, pulling the other to him, his face now buried against his shoulder, tears falling onto his own.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered. Pain rushed through his body again, this time with added vigor. He wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, but- "…I can't…" He squeezed the boy in his arms, tears falling slowly down his own cheeks. "…Naruto." The name hitched in his throat, the sound of his voice was almost alien to his own ears.

He needed the pain, it was something he had always carried with him and without it he wouldn't know what to do. "I'm sorry." He whispered again.